I’d like to say thanks to two special people:

To my brand new editor…could anything be more unexpected? Your attention is flattering, your suggestions are right on the money, and your check is in the mail. Thank you. x

To Kelly…Your friendship, good cheer, and wonderful daughter are worth untold fortunes. “Oprah” or bust!

-Bobbi Manuel

A Million Chances

Buffy collapsed back onto the bed, breathing hard and trying to recover. The fact that Faith’s head was still situated between her legs made that a little more difficult than it should have been.

“Hmm…Got any more in there, B?”

“More? No, I am totally and completely…God!”

“Looks like we’re not done.”

Buffy’s entire body was suddenly tense, her hips already moving to the rhythm Faith set.

“I…I can’t…Not again.”

“Yeah, but you’re gonna.”

In just a few short minutes Buffy was coming again, longer and harder than she had any of the times before. It was something she would have been willing to bet was a physical impossibility, yet apparently it wasn’t because that was exactly what she was doing.

As she laid there breathing heavily, still trembling, she felt Faith sliding her tongue along a torturous path up her body. By the time they were face to face, Buffy was tingling all over.

“You taste so good, B.”

“You have to stop.”

Faith’s grin did nothing to calm her:

“No, I really don’t.”

Her fingers were sweeping lightly around Buffy’s breast, while her other hand was just resting threateningly between her legs.

“You’re going to kill me if you don’t.”

Buffy suddenly found her hands pinned above her head, the action bringing Faith’s body down on hers at every intimate point. She groaned at the contact, then winced when Faith tightened her hold.

“My murdering days are over. Wouldn’t mind hurting you a little though.”

Buffy laughed until Faith nipped at her neck a bit too forcefully:

“Ow.”

“Ya like gettin’ roughed up, don’t ya, B?”

“Faith, let go.”

“No.”

Faith kissed her, and when Buffy relented and kissed her back, Faith bit down on her bottom lip…hard.

“Ow!”

But Faith’s tongue was already there to soothe the pain:

“Admit it. You like it when it hurts.”

She slammed her knee up into Buffy, making her gasp and shudder.

“You like somebody else in control.”

“Let go of me.”

Faith’s lips were at her ear:

“Sorry Slayer, you’re not callin’ the shots.”

Her leg began moving, and Buffy fought to stay still.

“C’mon B, you’re dying to fuck my knee.”

“This isn’t funny. Let go of me.”

Faith merely tightened her grip and it hurt, but Buffy couldn’t deny it excited her too. When Faith’s knee pushed harder, she could feel the tension starting to build again.

“Little Miss Perfect likes being all submissive.”

Her throaty laugh made Buffy quiver, and she lost herself right then. She began straining to put more pressure on Faith’s knee, but Faith quickly removed it.

“Sorry, B. I’m setting the pace.”

“Faith…”

She kept her grip firm as she sat up straddling Buffy’s stomach, her own wetness coating Buffy’s skin.

“So these the kinda games you and Spike played?”

Buffy didn’t answer, but her eyes revealed just how pissed she was getting, and Faith had never seen anyone look hotter.

“Bet you were always on top.”

Faith began groaning as she moved herself back and forth:

“Not the case now. Now you’re gonna do what I want...when I want.”

Buffy could barely breathe, Faith looked so sexy. She reached out for her, but her hands were still in Faith’s iron grip, and she couldn’t get them loose.

“Didn’t say you could touch me.”

Buffy’s head lifted, her aim to capture one of the breasts swaying so enticingly above her, but Faith moved faster. She quickly kissed Buffy, then let her mouth slide downward. She nibbled her way slowly to Buffy’s breast and then she latched on. The warm wet suction almost made Buffy lose her mind, but it was the sharp painful bite that did it.

She was coming again, her scream echoing off the walls as she rode it out with Faith’s laughter keeping her company. She had no real chance to recover before Faith began escalating things. She let go of Buffy’s hands and slid down until their bodies were aligned, then began rubbing against her harder and faster until Buffy lost track of everything else.

All she could feel was Faith slipping and sliding against her most intimate spot. They were joined, grinding hard, and Buffy wrapped her legs around her as tightly as she could, her hands working in tandem as they grabbed onto her ass to pull her even closer. Faith moaned and although that noise was so, so sexy, it was nothing compared to the girlish squeak she made a minute later when she finally came.

That simple sound had bright kaleidoscopic lights bursting out from behind Buffy’s closed eyes, her mouth opening in a silent scream as she lost control of herself completely. Her body rose from the bed, taut and straining until only her head and shoulders remained in contact with the mattress. Faith hung on, riding with her every inch of the way.

When Buffy once again became aware of her surroundings, she discovered that Faith was stretched out fully on top of her. Her weight felt good, it felt solid and it felt warm. Buffy’s arms were still wrapped around her, holding her close as they recovered.

Faith’s face was buried in her neck, and Buffy could feel the tiny covert kisses and little puffs of air that let her know they were both gloriously alive. She was so content, so at peace, and then Faith was getting up to sit on the side of the bed.

“Where the fuck’s my shirt?”

Buffy stared at her back, wondering why it always had to end this way. She reached over and softly laid her hand on Faith’s bare skin, and although she flinched, Faith did not move away. She even seemed to lean into Buffy’s touch, almost purring as she did, but then after a few seconds she stood up.

She put on her pants, but her top still eluded her.

“B, where’s my shirt?”

“Well, I’m not wearing it.”

“Had one on when I got here, right?”

“I think I’d have noticed if you didn’t.”

Faith grabbed her boot and sat down in a chair across the room.

“And where the fuck’s my other boot?”

“I have no idea.”

“Well, I can’t leave without my clothes, so ya wanna help me out?”

“No.”

Faith went down on her hands and knees as she peered beneath the bed:

“Huh?”

“I don’t want you to leave, so why should I help you?”

Buffy could hear the sigh before Faith’s head appeared:

“B, we’ve been over this.”

“So?”

“So there’s no need to talk about it again.”

Buffy rolled to that side of the bed, her hand reaching out to caress Faith’s cheek.

“I disagree.”

Faith pulled away, still on her search.

“Course ya do. Your head would probably explode if ya ever agreed with me.”

She had her other boot and tried to put it on while standing on one leg, but she finally gave up and sat down on the edge of the dresser. With one sharp tug, she pulled it into place and stood up again.

“So this makes sense to you? To just…how did you put it…’fuck and run’?”

Faith looked at her then, hearing the anger seeping out despite Buffy’s best efforts to keep it in.

“B, c’mon, we already talked this over.”

“And?”

“And nothing’s changed.”

“So we’re just fuck buddies?”

“We’re way more than that, but yeah.”

Buffy laughed:

“Gee, be still my heart.”

“Look you know how I feel, what this is. Told ya right up front so you wouldn’t misunderstand.”

“Yes, you did.”

Faith began sorting through a pile of clothes in the vain hope that her shirt had somehow gotten tangled up in the mix:

“’Kay then, don’t make it what it’s not.”

“Why is it wrong that I want you to stay for a while?”

Faith turned back to face her as she ran her hands through her own hair, the motion pulling her breasts up even higher and driving Buffy slightly insane.

“I don’t stay, ever. Fuck, B, I don’t even know how.”

“Then I’ll teach you.”

“Not somethin’ I wanna learn.”

“So you’d rather just ‘fuck and run’ every time?”

“Keep coming back, don’t I?”

“Yes, you keep coming back.”

Buffy got up and walked over to her, and Faith couldn’t hide what the sight of that naked body did to her.

“Jesus B, you are so beautiful.”

She kept coming, and Faith moaned softly as Buffy reached out to her, their breasts rubbing together with a delicious friction. But Buffy wasn’t reaching out to her, she was merely reaching behind her.

“Here.”

She handed Faith her shirt and moved away.

“We did the fuck, now you can go do the run. See you later.”

Then Buffy was gone, the bathroom door shutting firmly behind her.

Faith stood there staring at the closed door for a minute, then yanked her shirt on roughly, almost tearing it as she jammed her arms into the sleeves. She walked back over to the bed and breathed in as deeply as she could, letting

Buffy’s scent fill her senses with a fragrance she knew she would never get tired of smelling.

She heard the shower start up and a big part of her wanted to join in, but Faith knew what she had to do, and staying around wasn’t it. She grabbed her keys off the desk and walked out, still breathing in the woman she’d left behind…again.

CHAPTER TWO

Buffy was bored out of her mind and trying not to show it. She was putting the new girls through their paces because Kennedy had had some family problem to deal with and couldn’t make her class. It was all very last minute, so Giles had asked her to fill in.

She glanced at the clock again…still forty minutes to go. That beat the forty-two she had left two minutes ago…She finally noticed there was no movement, so she brought her attention back to the group.

“Okay, pair off. We’re going to do some sparring.”

“But Ms. Summers, we’re supposed to…”

“Excuse me, Katie, right?”

“Carrie.”

“Carrie, ‘supposed to’ doesn’t matter to me at all, and that’s nothing but good if you guys were supposed to have a test or do something else majorly unfun. When it comes to class, I’m a big believer in what the teacher doesn’t know works best for me…or in this case for you, because in some bizarre twist, I’m somehow the teacher here. Anyway, everybody partner off.”

They went at it less than ten minutes before Buffy had seen enough.

“Hold it! What in the hell are you doing? Not one of you would last two minutes on patrol.”

There was no grumbling, these girls were in awe of Buffy and they were paying rapt attention to her.

“Who’s the best fighter here?”

No one moved or said a word.

“Don’t be shy, speak up.”

A tall, muscular blonde stepped forward:

“I am.”

“Jodie?”

“Jackie.”

“Sorry. Okay, let’s you and I go at it.”

Jackie actually took a step back, and her voice seemed to crack slightly:

“Me?”

“Yep, we’re going to demonstrate how it’s done.”

“I…I don’t think I…”

“Okay girls, first lesson: Jackie’s afraid, and that’s smart. Always be afraid, especially when you know your opponent’s better than you, but even when you know they’re not.”

Buffy walked over and led Jackie back to the middle of the mats.

“Alright Jackie, show me what you’ve got.”

Jackie looked like she was going to faint, so Buffy got tough with her:

“You’re a Slayer, now stop acting like a coward.”

And just like that, Jackie was ready. She feinted with her left, and came at Buffy with her right. Buffy barely moved, just shifting sideways and letting Jackie’s momentum carry her past.

She recovered quickly though and spun around with a powerful kick, but Buffy merely caught her leg and flipped her up into the air. Jackie hit the mats with a loud thwack, all the wind seemingly knocked out of her, and Buffy turned to face the other girls:

“See what she did, how smart it was? I beat her, but she came back with a good move. Even though it didn’t work out the way she wanted it to, she was thinking the whole time, and if I’d have been charging her, she would have caught me a good one and given herself some time to recover.”

Jackie started to get back to her feet, but Buffy held up a hand to stop her:

“No, stay there. I’ll show you a good move from the prone position that will…”

“’Prone position’…Sure these girls are ready for the X-rated stuff?”

The group laughed, so did Buffy, but she wasn’t too happy with Faith. It had been three days since she’d last seen her, no explanation of course, and now she was back looking all sexy and dangerous. And sexy and gorgeous. And sexy and sexy.

The tank top she had on did nothing to hide her assets, and the sweatpants although baggy, seemed to grip her ass perfectly with every step she took.

“So Faith, what brings you to class?”

“Supposed to be lecturing on the evils of evil. Ya know, help guide the gang down the path to the dark side…Oh wait a sec, guess Giles wants me to lead’em the other way.”

Again the class laughed, but this time Buffy didn’t. She didn’t have time to laugh, she was too busy imagining them going at it on every piece of equipment in the room, sans an audience. She wanted to inch those sweatpants down, lift that tank top up, and rip that ridiculous sports bra right in half so that Faith would never, ever wear it again.

“Thinkin’ now though, if you’re all done pickin’ on Jack, maybe ya want me to show’em how to take ya.”

Buffy’s desire flared, especially when Faith licked her lips and then just stood there smirking sexily at her. She could still see the tip of her tongue, and it took everything Buffy had not to kiss her and suck that tongue into her own mouth where it belonged.

To the class, Buffy looked just like she always did. She was cool, calm, and collected, but Faith knew better. She knew inside Buffy was raging with lust and anger, and because Faith was Faith, she just had to fan the flames.

She turned away to look at the girls:

“So guys, wanna see me teach Ms. Summers a lesson?”

The class laughed and cheered, all excited that they were going to get a chance to see the real Slayers go at it. These weren’t just women, they were legends, and everyone eagerly took a seat on the mini-bleachers and waited.

“Faith, don’t make promises you can’t keep. God knows you wouldn’t want to commit to anything.”

Faith laughed as she looked Buffy in the eye:

“Don’t worry B, pretty sure I can take ya whenever I want.”

“Hmm…things change.”

“Yeah, but not that.”

Her arrogance made Buffy want to kill her, and when she blew a kiss, it made Buffy want to kill her even harder. She was so going to kick her cocky ass all over the room.

“Whenever you’re ready, Faith.”

They danced around for a bit, and then Faith made the first move. She unleashed a kick and Buffy responded the same way she did to Jackie…with a slight difference. She flipped Faith up, then hit her while she was still in the air, sending her crashing hard into the wall across the room.

Jackie’s mouth hung open, suddenly glad that she was just sore instead of permanently affixed to some part of the training room. Everyone went silent, the only sound the soft laughter coming from Faith.

She got to her feet, flexing as if to make sure everything was still attached.

“So ya wanna play hardball, B?”

“What’d that feel like, F?”

“Like a little pussy love tap.”

“Really?”

“Well ya know how it is B, ya hit like a girl.”

Buffy turned to the class.

“I want everyone to observe just how hard a girl hits.”

Then they were lost in each other. It was no holds barred, and the power, speed, and violence left their audience speechless.

It was impossible to say who was winning, both Slayers were giving as good as they got. At the moment, Faith had Buffy’s face pushed up against the far wall with her arm bent up behind her back. All of her body weight was pressing into Buffy, holding her in place along with the forearm she had pushing painfully across her neck.

Her mouth was next to Buffy’s ear and she whispered so quietly, only Buffy could hear:

“Like it here, don’t ya? Your arm and neck hurting, me forcin’ ya to stay, my tits all hard against your back.”

Buffy stifled a moan.

“Only thing better’d be if I could start movin’ against your ass.”

Buffy struggled to break loose.

“Ooh yeah, B…Do that again.”

Then Faith found herself flying backwards as Buffy managed to smash her free elbow into her stomach. She tried to get to her feet, but Buffy was on her and had her pinned quickly. Besides, it wasn’t like Faith was struggling too hard to get away.

Buffy turned to the class:

“Okay, time’s up. Kennedy should be back tomorrow.”

The girls headed for the door, all youthful enthusiasm and buzzing with excitement over what they’d just witnessed.

“Jackie.”

Jackie turned, her awe and admiration plain to see.

“Yes, Ms. Summers?”

“You’re going to be an amazing Slayer.”

Jackie turned beet red, and the smile on her face was huge:

“Really? Do you really think so?”

“Yes, I do. You’re a good fighter, and you’re smart and keep your head. Those are the main requirements, and you’ve already got them. All you have to do now is concentrate on getting better.”

“I will! I’ll work really hard at it, I promise!”

Buffy smiled back at her:

“Come see me if I can help you in any way.”

“Really?!”

“Wow B, kid thinks you’re a liar.”

“No, I didn’t mean…”

“Ignore her, Jackie. I’ll be happy to help, it’s what I’m here for.”

“Thank you, Ms. Summers.”

“You’d better go, you’re going to be late for your next class.”

“Right, I’m going to be late…Thank you!”

Then she was gone, slamming the door after her.

“Now where were we?”

“Think you were gonna kiss me, maybe even fuck me, Ms. Summers.”

“In your dreams.”

Faith grinned:

“Yeah, there too.”

Buffy couldn’t resist. She leaned down and kissed her, and their tongues began battling as soon as they touched. Faith groaned in complaint when Buffy pulled back.

“Where ya goin’?”

Buffy got to her feet and extended her hand:

“I’m pretty sure that having sex in the training room is against the rules.”

Faith spun her around and pulled her close the instant she was standing:

“Fuck the rules. They make’em to break’em.”

“Faith…”

Faith’s arms encircled her, trapping Buffy’s arms at her sides.

“God B, you smell so good.”

“Stop…”

“See? Me movin’ against your ass is a good thing, yeah?”

Buffy was already swaying with her.

“And licking all this sweat offa your neck…”

“Faith, we have to…”

“…well no way it’s against any rules.”

Faith’s hand made its way to the inside of Buffy’s shorts, moving teasingly back and forth, up and down, across her stomach.

“Mmm…”

“Ya like that, B?”

Her hand began moving downward slowly, so slowly that Buffy could barely stand it:

“Faith…please.”

“Please what? Please stop or please do this?”

Buffy’s legs trembled at her touch, and Faith laughed as she let her tongue trail leisurely around Buffy’s ear, slowly descending to her jaw, only to graze delicately along her neck.

“So B, do I stop or keep going?”

There was no answer from Buffy. Her hips were thrusting up to meet Faith’s fingers, trying to get her to apply more pressure.

“Okay then, guess we oughta stop. Wouldn’t wanna us breakin’ any rules.”

“…You stop and I’ll…kill you.”

Faith’s other hand slid under Buffy’s shirt and up to her breast.

“You’ve got the most perfect tits ever.”

“Faith…”

“Wanna come, B?”

“…”

“Do ya?”

“Yes.”

Faith smiled and began picking up the pace:

“Say so then.”

“F…just...”

“Now. I wanna hear it.”

“…”

“Sure would hate to have to stop, just ‘cause you’re bein’ stubborn.”

“Bitch…”

“Tell me, baby.”

Faith bit down hard on the back of her neck:

“Yes! Yes, I wanna come.”

“And I’m gonna make ya…right now.”

She was as good as her word, and Buffy would have fallen to the floor if she hadn’t been held upright. She stood there trembling, her head spinning while she struggled to catch her breath:

“God…that was…God.”

“Yeah, did seem kinda holy.”

Buffy turned to face her:

“I want our clothes off now.”

“Here? But B, there’s all these rules and…”

Buffy kissed her, her hands sneaking their way under Faith’s tank top.

“Why are you wearing this stupid thing?

“What? You the only one allowed to sport a bra?”

“Funny, and the answer’s ‘yes’. So why are you wearing it?”

Faith smiled as Buffy’s fingers began stroking lightly around and over her nipples:

“Only clean…shirt...Damn B, that feels good.”

“So that’s your only clean shirt and…?”

“See-through…had to…wear some…Buffy!”

Buffy’s mouth had replaced her fingers, and even through the sports bra, Faith could feel the wet heat. She leaned back against the wall, so lost in the feeling of Buffy’s lips on her that she almost missed the mumbled order:

“Room, now.”

“…Yours.”

“No.”

“Mine’s…a mess.”

Buffy lifted her head:

“Yours is way closer.”

“Yeah, but…”

Buffy’s hand worked its magic on the inside of Faith’s loose sweatpants.

“I’d sure hate to have to stop this just because you’re being stubborn.”

“Your room…is…is…B, c’mon.”

“Your room or I stop for the rest of the day…and night.”

“What’s the big deal about...”

Buffy began sucking on the sensitive spot on Faith’s neck while her hands kept busy:

“I don’t know what the big deal is…”

“Oh shit…Harder…”

Buffy began placing a soft kiss after every few words, her fingers circling lightly in tandem:

“…but I do know…I’m going to…fuck…your brains…out…when we…get there.”

Faith’s eyes fluttered, then closed, her breathing ragged and shallow.

“So F, what’s it going to be?”

“My room…fine. Let’s go to…my room.”

CHAPTER THREE

Buffy placed one last kiss there, then slowly and softly made her way back up Faith’s body. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face when she saw that her partner was out cold. She wasn’t in a daze, she wasn’t just resting her eyes for a second, she was sawing logs, complete with sound effects and drooling.

Yep, she was dead to the world and Buffy was more than a little proud of herself. She happily snuggled in, pulling the covers up and over both of them. She was going to savor this rare moment of intimacy and just enjoy the chance to relax and be close to the woman she loved.

She’d never told Faith that she was in love with her, not in those exact words, but it wasn’t a secret. It was something they both knew, yet in most ways it hadn’t made the slightest bit of difference. Faith was determined to keep their relationship right where it was, and she refused to let it go any further.

The whole thing would be ridiculous if it wasn’t so serious, but it was serious, at least it was to Buffy. She wasn’t a particularly patient person nor was she all that good at waiting, but she was being patient and she was waiting for Faith. There wasn’t much else she could do except walk away, and that was not an option she was prepared to go anywhere near.

The latest stage in their long running relationship had started the night of Willow and Kennedy’s engagement party, nearly seven months before. The gang had all been out celebrating and Buffy had become drunk after downing just two margaritas. She’d ended up drinking six, collecting the festive little umbrellas in a pile in front of her, and Faith had been charged with getting her home safely.

She’d actually volunteered, it wasn’t like she was going to be missed. Although there was no outright hostility, no matter how long it went, Faith never quite felt like she fit into their little clique. It was still a private club, a tight family unit that didn’t seem to want to open up for her, although to be fair, they’d all sort of tried that once and it hadn’t gone well for anyone.

As the party had started heating up for real, it became clear that Buffy was all partied out. Faith offered to look after her and everyone seemed happy with the idea, so the Slayers headed off into the night as the celebration kept right on rolling. She had to slip her arm firmly around Buffy’s waist to prevent her from wandering away, and Buffy responded to the forced intimacy by leaning her head into Faith, her own arms wrapping around her in turn.

They walked back to Faith’s apartment, looking for all the world like two lovers out on a moonlight stroll, and Buffy kept sighing these little sighs and moaning these little moans the entire journey. Faith found herself seriously relieved when her building came into sight, anxious to peel her companion off of her and get her safely into bed…alone.

Faith had decided to lead them to her apartment because it was closer than the Scooby compound and she had two bedrooms, one of which figured to be the perfect place for Buffy to sleep it off in peace and quiet. She knew the morning was going to bring with it one helluva headache, and she also knew that “Slayer Central” wasn’t the most peaceful place in the world, especially when your name was “Buffy Summers”.

When they got there, Faith tried to steer her to the bedroom, but Buffy wanted something to eat. It wasn’t a bad idea to get something besides tequila in her stomach, so Faith asked her what she had a taste for. That was when the real trouble started:

“Okay B, whatcha got in mind?”

“Pancakes! Can we have pancakes?”

“Sure.”

“With syrup.”

“Well yeah, can’t have’em plain.”

Faith got her seated at the small kitchen table, then went to work on the food, pulling all of the necessary ingredients from the refrigerator. She grinned big when she saw she had plenty of eggs:

“Guess I’ll whip up a few for me too.”

It wasn’t long before she had the batter mixed, pouring a pancake- sized amount carefully into the pan.

Buffy sat there watching her every move and trying to make small talk, but her head seemed a little on the fuzzy side. Still, she wasn’t going to give up without a fight:

“Faith?”

The chef didn’t turn around as she flipped the pancake:

“Yeah, B?”

“You have a great ass.”

“Thanks.”

Faith shoveled the pancake onto a plate, buttered it, grabbed a fork and the syrup, and sat everything down in front of Buffy.

“Hot off the griddle. Dig in.”

Buffy poured the syrup, only it wasn’t coming out. She looked to Faith for help, but she was already busy making more pancakes.

“Faith…”

“I know, great ass here.”

“No, I mean, yes, but no.”

“Okay, glad we got that all cleared up.”

Buffy looked in the bottle and she could see the syrup. She tried shaking it harder, squeezing it harder, and finally with one big Slayer effort, she had syrup.

It was in her hair, on her face, her hands, her shirt, her lap, the table, there was even some on the wall behind her.

“What the fuck?!”

The small explosion had Faith whirling around holding her spatula like a stake, and the sight had Buffy giggling like…well, like a drunk.

“What the hell did you do?”

Buffy finally managed to stop laughing, and her face became deadly serious. She leaned forward as she looked around, motioning Faith to come closer. She held her hand up alongside her mouth as she whispered out the side of it:

“I slayed the syrup. It was evil syrup…Hellmouth syrup.”

Faith couldn’t help but laugh:

“Yeah, well it was also the only syrup, so unless ya wanna rub the pancakes all over yourself, you’re shit outta luck.”

“I don’t get it. Is that some kind of inna…inwen…innuendo?”

“No, just sayin’ ya look like Aunt Jemima.”

Buffy raised a hand up to her cheek and it came back coated with syrup. Her tongue flicked out for a taste:

“Yep, that’s Aunt Jemima…or maybe Mrs. Butterworth. Hey, how come all the pancake experts are women?”

Faith turned off the stovetop and moved the pan to a cool burner.

“Don’t know, must be like a Slayer thing.”

“Ooh, that’d be fun! Me and you against Aunt Butterball…no, she’s the turkey lady.”

“Alright, need to get you into the shower.”

Buffy’s face was indignant:

“What? I already showered right before we went out! I do take care of my personal hygiene, you know!”

“I know that.”

She tried to gently pull her to her feet, but Buffy wasn’t budging.

“Hi, Gene...Who’s ‘Gene’? I’ll bet he was some really, really clean weirdo.”

“Probably. Listen B, normally you’re perfectly clean…”

“And I smell great too.”

“And you smell great too. But right now ya got syrup all over you, and that shit’s sticky.”

Buffy got a “holier than thou” look on her face as she prepared to correct Faith, but when she first tried to brush her hair back from her face, her hand stuck to it for a few frantic moments. When she finally managed to pull loose, she mustered as much dignity as she could:

“You know, I think I should take a shower. I seem to have syrup all over me.”

“That’s a great idea. Right this way.”

Faith led her down the hall to the bathroom, again with her arm around her waist. Buffy leaned in close, sighing contentedly:

“It sure is a pretty night, F.”

“Yeah, keep walkin’ now.”

“Look at all the stars.”

“They’re beauties. Here we are.”

Faith turned on the shower, adjusted the temperature, and helped her undress. Buffy almost fell getting in, then lost her balance as she stood perfectly still under the water.

“B, ya gotta be careful, okay?”

“I’m trying, but this room seems a little unstable.”

When she slipped again, Faith stripped down to her underwear and got in with her.

“Okay, let’s get ya cleaned up and into bed.”

Buffy smiled and Faith looked away, doing her best to focus on her job and not all the tantalizing skin on display.

“Stop flirting, F.”

“I’m not.”

“You have such beautiful eyes.”

“Yeah. Okay, let me get the shampoo. Stand right there and just let the water…”

Buffy’s lips were on Faith’s, her hands wrapped tightly behind her neck and pulling her down into range.

At first there was no reaction, then their tongues began to dance and mingle, and someone groaned. Buffy jumped up and locked her legs around Faith’s waist, knocking her slightly off balance. She managed to right herself, but then Buffy’s hands dove into her hair as she rose up to take control of the kiss.

Faith staggered again, her back slamming against the shower tiles. Buffy’s grip was Slayer tight and Faith couldn’t avoid the insistent tongue exploring every inch of her mouth. Oxygen was becoming a serious issue as the water poured over them, but Buffy couldn’t have cared less, not when she owned Faith’s mouth.

After a brief but intense struggle, Faith finally managed to wrench her lips away, but she couldn’t exactly pull back. Buffy was wrapped snugly around her everywhere, and she was now busy rubbing herself against the bare skin of Faith’s stomach, her mouth nibbling along enticingly wherever she could reach.

“Mmm…you taste so good…should have put you on the pancakes.”

“…B, we need to get you into bed.”

“After. I wanna do it right here first.”

Her lips sucked hard on Faith’s neck, making them both moan.

“We’re not gonna do it anywhere. You’re drunk.”

“I’m not that drunk.”

“Yeah…you are.”

Buffy whispered directly into her ear:

“Not so drunk, I can’t make you come.”

“Jesus B, right now you just breathing in and out’ll do the trick.”

So Buffy did just that, all along Faith’s neck, her tongue following behind until she was back at her ear.

“You’ve got goose bumps, did you come?”

“Okay, we’re gettin’ outta here.”

She maneuvered around until she could turn off the water.

“But F, I’m still all sticky and wet.”

Faith didn’t say a word as she headed for the bed with Buffy still clinging to her. She was biting and licking, pushing and sliding, and Faith knew the wetness she felt on her skin wasn’t all water.

Buffy wasn’t happy with their change of location, and she pretended to pout, a sight that had Faith’s heart pounding:

“But baby, I thought you were going to clean me up.”

Faith leaned down to lay her on the bed, but Buffy didn’t let go. Instead she pulled Faith down on top of her.

“Mmm…that’s better.”

“Okay B, that’s enough of this. Fucking let go of me…Now!”

The harsh tone meant to intimidate, had the opposite effect. Buffy laughed all low and sexy, tightening her grip as she began wiggling her hips:

“Ooh look, it’s the scary Slayer.”

Then her mouth was back on Faith’s, all hot and wet as she rolled them over until she was on top:

“Come on, F.”

“…Not gonna fuck you when you’re wasted.”

“I might be tipsy, but I’m not wasted.”

“Yeah? Well I see different and…”

Buffy’s hands slid under Faith’s underwear, her fingers tugging and squeezing a nipple as her other hand swirled and groped intimately under her panties.

“Shit!”

“Mmm…you’re so wet.”

“…We were…we were in the shower.”

Buffy smiled:

“Really?”

A high-pitched squeak burst out of Faith, followed by a groan as Buffy entered her:

“Buffy…”

“You’re wet pretty deep inside. I’m thinking that’s because of me, not the shower.”

As she began thrusting in and out, Faith grabbed her and stood up. Buffy clung to her, refusing to let go, but that worked to Faith’s advantage this time. She began spinning in circles, going faster and faster until Buffy began moaning.

“God…stop.”

Faith ignored her until she felt her limbs go slack, then dashed into the bathroom just in time for Buffy to vomit the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

After several long minutes, she was done. Faith got her cleaned up, helped her brush her teeth, gave her some aspirin and water, then carried her back to the bedroom. She got her into an oversized t-shirt, tucked her in, and turned off the bedside lamp.

“Faith?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I drank too much.”

“I know. Aspirin and water will help.”

“Okay…goodnight.”

“Night.”

Buffy was asleep before Faith cleared the doorway, and she stood there for several minutes just staring.

“Always wanted her in my bed. Must be some fucker’s idea of a joke.”

She made her way into the guest room and waited for sleep to claim her. It never did.

The next morning Buffy lurched out of bed to find Faith seated at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.

“Hey.”

“Hey, B. Grab a seat. Want somethin’ to drink?”

“Maybe.”

“How ‘bout some orange Gatorade.”

“Okay.”

Faith got up and filled a glass, then grabbed the aspirin bottle on her way back to the table.

“Here ya go. Know ya don’t like to take pills, but....”

“Right now, I’d take heroin if you said it would stop my head from pounding.”

Faith smiled, her face full of sympathy:

“Been there. Take four.”

Buffy shook out the tablets shakily and with the help of her Gatorade, she got them to go down. When she was sure they were going to stay there, she started talking:

“So um…did I do anything embarrassing last night?”

“’Embarrassing’? Not really. Hey, better sip, not gulp.”

She sat back down and picked up her newspaper:

“Let me know when ya want some toast.”

Buffy didn’t exactly turn green at the thought, but she was definitely not her normal color:

“Toast is food, right?”

“Far as I know.”

“Maybe later then, like next week.”

Faith chuckled:

“Helps to get somethin’ in your stomach, B.”

“Can I just say, ‘We’ll see’?”

“Sure, just say the word.”

Then Faith was gone behind the paper and Buffy sat there staring at her, or at least where she thought she was located.

“…Faith?”

“Yeah?”

“How did I end up in your room?”

She tossed down the front page and casually grabbed the sports section:

“Closer to the bathroom for ya and I didn’t have the spare bed made up.”

“Oh.”

The newspaper opened, and once more she was hidden from view.

“Fuck! Fuckin’ Sox lost again!”

“Huh?”

Faith bent the paper down to look at her over the edge:

“Sorry, didn’t mean to shout. Just that the Red Sox got swept by the goddamn Yankees.”

“And that’s bad?”

Yeah, it’s bad. Lost a three game series.”

Buffy had no idea what she was talking about, and with her head pounding like it was, she knew she had no real hope of figuring it out:

“Faith, I know it must be a sport, but please, have mercy.”

Faith rolled her eyes:

“Baseball, B. Sorry, forgot you were hung-over and retarded.”

“Hey, no fair picking on ‘Pitiful’ Buffy.”

“Yeah, okay. Guess it’s not your fault nobody can drive in a run.”

She went back to the paper, grumbling under her breath about the lack of a good clean-up hitter and the “way crappy” relief pitching. Apparently she wasn’t very impressed with the “piss poor” defense either, especially up the middle.

Buffy waited a few minutes until all was quiet on Faith’s side of the table before she apologized:

“I’m sorry.”

Faith peeked around the paper:

“No big. Consider yourself lucky you’re not a Sox fan, although gotta say when we finally won and shoved it up Ruth’s ass…”

“I’m talking about last night.”

“Hey, was a happy night for Red and ya got hammered. Had the extra bed, so no problem.”

The paper went back up, and Buffy sipped her Gatorade. The silence stretched out for a couple of minutes, and it wasn’t all that comfortable, at least not on Buffy’s side of it.

“…Faith?”

“Uh-huh?”

“I remember last night.”

“Yeah? How funny was that when Kennedy…”

“I mean, when we got back here.”

The silence returned, and she could hear Faith clearing her throat:

“…How much?”

“All of it, I think.”

“Oh.”

“So, I’m sorry.”

The paper was still up, and Buffy wanted to see her face.

“Don’t worry about it. We’re cool.”

“Faith?”

“Jesus B, what?”

“I was wondering if maybe you could look at me.”

She heard a sigh, and then Faith folded the paper and tossed it down onto the table.

“Look B, last night was nothing. You were drunk, and that’s it. Not like you pull that kinda shit all the time, so ya get a free pass. I got no problems with it or you, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you for not…um…you know.”

“Sure. Let me get ya that toast now.”

After that there was no more talking, and it wasn’t too much longer before Buffy went home and crawled into her own bed. She ended up sleeping the rest of the day and her hangover away, and by the time patrol rolled around, she was feeling great. Slayer healing was nothing but a good thing.

It turned out to be an extremely busy night with no real time to talk, and that was just fine with Buffy. She was still more than a little embarrassed, and although Faith was behaving exactly as she always had, Buffy wasn’t all that anxious to get into what she’d done. She was hoping they could both just forget about it and move on.

They concentrated on the slaying, and the big event of the night came when they finally found the nest of Hadigar demons. It was quite a fight to wipe them out, and when they emerged unscathed and victorious from the tomb, Buffy turned to give their standard high five.

Faith charged her, slamming her hard against the wall of the crypt. Hands quickly became entangled in the strands of golden hair, and lips began delivering the most bruising kiss Buffy had ever received. It hurt, but it also felt good, and Buffy eagerly attempted to return some of the fire that was coursing through her body.

It went on for a long time, and it was Faith who finally stopped. She kept her body leaning into Buffy’s, her hands staying wrapped in her hair as she rotated her hips slowly and seductively.

“I want you, B…so much I can barely stand it.”

“Then take me.”

Faith’s groan came from down low in her throat, and then her lips were back. Her tongue pushed its way in, forcing Buffy’s to follow along, and her hands untangled to slide downward until she found the rock hard nipples that were waiting for her. She caressed and pinched, running her fingers back and forth until Buffy began shaking.

Her head lowered and her mouth sucked and bit through the shirt in her way. Buffy inhaled sharply and pulled her closer, and Faith’s hands began seeking a way under as she wanted nothing more than to feel skin beneath her fingertips. The heat was pouring from Buffy, scorching Faith right through the material, and she needed to feel it burning her, needed to feel…

With a superhuman effort, she raised her hands up to a more neutral area, hanging on tightly to Buffy’s shoulders:

“B, ya gotta understand.”

“…What?”

“This isn’t the start of some big love deal. I wanna fuck you, but that’s it.”

“I understand.”

Faith grabbed her head, searching her eyes intently:

“I don’t wanna hurt you, B, so we gotta be clear. This is lust, not love.”

“I get it.”

“For real? ‘Cause I…”

“God Faith, shut the hell up!”

Buffy spun her around, slamming her face first into the marble wall, and Faith had no time to react before she felt the delicious sensation of Buffy rubbing her body along hers. She began trembling when she heard the whisper at her ear:

“I remember what you felt like…”

Faith could do nothing but moan.

“How hot and wet you were inside.”

Faith’s eyes closed and her head flung back to rest on Buffy’s shoulder. Her breath blew out from her in ragged gasps as Buffy’s mouth attacked her.

“So tight, so perfect…I want back in there.”

“B…”

“Do you want that too?”

“Oh fuck…”

“Do you, Faith?

“…Ye…Yes.”

Buffy’s hands reached around, her body still pressing Faith into the wall. She eased off slightly and slid her hands into the narrow gap to unbutton the annoying jeans that were in her way. One hand stayed where it was, gliding along through the wetness while the other traveled back up to pay some attention to Faith’s breasts.

“See? It wasn’t the shower…it was all me.”

There were no more preliminaries, no more foreplay. This moment had been coming for years, and that was all the preparation either of them needed.

Buffy entered her roughly, and Faith screamed out. Buffy stayed where she was, and when the more violent tremors subsided, she began moving. In and

out, slowly at first, pulling almost clear and gradually returning just as deeply as she could go. Then two fingers became three, and she began picking up the pace.

Faith was talking, but she had no idea what she was saying. Buffy’s other hand had joined in the fun and was providing just the right amount of pressure to Faith’s clit while she rubbed herself against Faith’s ass, matching her movement for movement. Her gasps and whimpers fell tumbling into Faith’s ear each time they moved, and it felt like they were going to explode into flames.

“Wanted this…forever.”

“B…”

“To be inside you…to make you come.”

“…Buffy…”

“Come for me, F…I wanna feel it...I wanna feel you.”

She fought to hold it off, not wanting it to end, but then Buffy began almost slamming into her. Her tongue licked along her neck, and when she bit down hard, Faith lost all control. She came like a fucking maniac, and she took Buffy right with her over the edge.

They stood there, Buffy leaning heavily on her while Faith leaned heavily against the crypt. The only sounds in the cemetery were the sounds they made as they tried to get their breathing back under control.

“Fuck me.”

“I think I just did, and I’m going to again…just as soon as I can feel my hand.”

“Never come that hard before.”

She started to turn, but Buffy wasn’t moving yet.

“Wait.”

“Why?”

“Surely you’ve noticed by now?”

“Noticed wh…B!”

“I’m thinking since I’m still there…”

To Faith’s embarrassment, her legs actually buckled.

“FUCK!”

Buffy’s voice was so sexy, it sent shivers down Faith’s spine:

“Is that your G-spot?”

“…Yeah, think so.”

“Well now, this is exciting. I mean, I’ve never found one before.”

She wiggled her fingers, making Faith cry out.

“B…”

“F?”

“Could call…this…abuse.”

Buffy laughed and began stroking steadily:

“Looks like you’re enjoying it though.”

“…”

“Cat got your tongue?”

“…Good pussy joke here…but just can’t…think.”

Buffy whispered her next question:

“So tell me F…harder, softer, faster, slower?”

“Yes.”

In just moments, Faith was coming again, but this time Buffy pulled out and turned her around. As soon as Faith looked like she knew where she was Buffy’s mouth moved in, her kiss tender, but still full of passion.

“Looks like somebody’s got a weak spot.”

“Know what they say, B.”

“What’s that?”

“Payback’s a bitch.”

”You think?”

“I guarantee it.”

They smiled at each other, the fire already building again.

“Can I make a suggestion?”

“Sure, B.”

“Let’s take this to your place.”

Faith’s smile was almost scary, and the sight of it turned Buffy on even more than she already was.

“Great idea ‘cause I’m gonna need all kinds of privacy.”

“Really? What exactly are you planning on doing?”

They linked hands and started jogging toward Faith’s apartment.

“I’m gonna take you in every way you can imagine.”

“I don’t know, I can imagine quite a few.”

Faith laughed, the sound pure sex:

“Oh B, I am so gonna fuck you up.”

And she had. Buffy came so many times she lost count, and by the end, Faith had reduced her to a quivering, sweaty, exhausted, sex toy. She was just about dead, and she couldn’t have moved if an apocalypse had come roaring into town.

When she awoke several hours later, she rolled over with a smile to greet no one. Faith was gone and Buffy knew she’d been gone for a while. She wasn’t surprised, it wasn’t like she hadn’t been warned.

She wasn’t exactly hurt either, although she was delightfully sore, but it didn’t make her happy that Faith had left her alone. Still, she wasn’t a child, and she’d known right from the start what she was getting herself into. Lying there all alone in Faith’s bed, she knew she wouldn’t take back the night for anything. If it was just the one-time thing that Faith swore it was, well at least she’d had her…and way more than once.

She didn’t see Faith again for five days, and when she did it was at 2:30 in the morning. There was a knock on her door, she opened it, and Faith never said a word. She just grabbed her and kissed her, and Buffy didn’t complain in the slightest, despite the fact that she could have sworn she would have.

They went at it until the sun began rising, and Faith apparently took that as her cue to get dressed. She got out of bed without a word, and Buffy watched as she began pulling away:

“So you’re leaving?”

Faith’s voice held not a scrap of emotion in it, her face showed not the slightest flicker of an expression:

“Yeah.”

“Okay, but would you mind telling me why you came back for more?”

Faith never even looked at her as she walked to the door:

“Fuck this. Ya don’t want it, stop spreadin’ your legs.”

Then she was gone, and Buffy was pissed.

When she showed up three nights later, Buffy let her in. They kissed and when Faith growled with pleasure, Buffy stepped back and punched her to the floor:

“You listen to me, you selfish bitch. Don’t you ever talk to me again like I’m your whore.”

A couple of minutes passed in a tense silence and then Buffy walked over to sit down on the bed:

“We can either discuss this like adults or you can go find some slut to fuck with. Your choice.”

Faith stood up slowly, walked over to a chair, and sat down. Buffy said nothing and waited, and after a while Faith started talking:

“First, that fucking hurt. Almost busted my jaw. Second, I’m sorry. No way should I have talked to you like that. Third, I wanna work this out. I don’t wanna hurt you, B.”

It was obvious that Faith was truly sorry, and Buffy didn’t see the point in staying angry. She blew out a deep breath and relented:

“Come here.”

Faith got up and walked over to the bed:

“I really am sorry, B.”

“I know you are.”

Buffy patted the mattress next to her:

“Sit down, I promise I won’t hit you again.”

Faith smiled slightly:

“Man, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that.”

“So why did you come back? I thought it was just supposed to be a one-time thing.”

“Me too…but shit, B, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And it’s not like you’re involved with anybody. And the sex is so fucking great…I was…well I was thinking maybe we could…”

“Maybe we could what?”

Faith looked uncomfortable:

“Look, I don’t wanna piss ya off again, but I don’t know any nice words for what I’m trying to say.”

Buffy squeezed her hand and tried to look reassuring:

“If you’re being honest with me, I’m not going to get mad, Faith, no matter what words you use.”

“Yeah? Okay then…Uh…Well…I was thinking maybe we could be fuck buddies.”

Never in her life had Buffy ever imagined anyone making such an offer to her.

“’Fuck buddies’?”

“Yeah ya know, no strings. I mean, eventually you’re gonna meet somebody and that’s cool. When it happens, we’ll just go back to how it was before, no strings, no drama.”

Buffy was clearly thinking it over:

“So we’d have sex regularly, with no strings.”

“Right. Well, ‘cept it is us, B. I mean, there’s always gonna be some kinda strings whether we want’em or not, just the way it is. Plus we see each other every fucking day, so…”

“Unless you decide to just take off.”

Faith looked almost sad:

“…Can’t compromise on that. Gotta go when I gotta, and I’m not changing that for anybody, not even you.”

“Okay, well I have a ‘nonnegotiable’ too.”

Faith smiled:

“Just one? Great, let’s hear it.”

“I don’t want you having sex with other people while we’re together.”

“Ya mean like a threesome?”

Buffy laughed because Faith was genuinely confused:

“Well yes, no to the threesome. But what I mean is, if we do this, I don’t want you sleeping with anyone but me.”

“Oh…Uh, got us a problem.”

“Let me guess, you already did?”

Faith was looking everywhere but at her:

“Yeah.”

“I see.”

“Do ya? ‘Cause I didn’t know you were gonna...”

Buffy smiled, Faith looked so cute when she was nervous.

“I don’t really understand this, Faith. It’s not my usual way of doing…whatever it is that we’re doing. But I do know that I like being with you, and I know I’d like to keep being with you. I can give you space, but I have to know that you’re not having sex with anyone else. That’s what I need from here on out to make this work.”

Faith stood up and began pacing. She said nothing for a long time, clearly lost in thought. She finally came back and sat down, looking Buffy right in the eye:

“Never done the whole monogamy trip before, but not like I’ve ever really come back for seconds either. I can try, B. Maybe I can do it.”

“Well that makes us even. I mean, I’ve never been anybody’s ‘fuck buddy’ before either.”

“Yeah well, guess there’s some pretty dumb ass people in the world.”

Buffy had to laugh. Faith saw their impending arrangement as the ultimate compliment, and in a strange way, Buffy did feel flattered.

“Okay, so I just need you to promise me you’ll tell me if you can’t stick with it.”

“I promise, B. I’ll give ya the heads-up if I’m gonna screw it up.”

Buffy stuck out her hand:

“Then we’ve got a deal. Wanna shake on it?”

Faith pushed her back down onto the bed:

“Rather fuck on it.”

“My, you do have a way with words.”

“That’s ’cause I got a flexible tongue. Here, let me show ya.”

But that was then, and this was now. They’d been together for seven months, Faith hadn’t slept with anyone else, and Buffy knew that they were in love. Faith however, refused to go anywhere near that topic, no matter how gently Buffy tried to take her there.

It was aggravating, it was upsetting, but Buffy wasn’t going to give up. Faith had to be so tired of running by now, and she was staying longer and longer each time they were together. Her face always looked so miserable when she finally forced herself to leave, and the stupidity of it all made Buffy mad while at the same time it broke her heart.

But here in the moment, her lover had made a critical error, a couple in fact. She’d let Buffy come to her room, and she’d fallen asleep. Yep, Faith’s fuck buddy was wide awake and in her bed, all snuggled up just like a real girlfriend.

Talk about a scene on the way. Well Buffy wasn’t going to think about that now. Now was for simply enjoying just how soft and warm and beautiful the woman she loved was as they cuddled together after another mind-blowing lovemaking session. Faith was going to completely freak out no matter what Buffy said or did, well short of leaving anyway, and since that wasn’t something she was even remotely considering, why should she waste these precious moments worrying about it?

She lifted her head, placed a gentle kiss on Faith’s breast, and then settled down to listen to her heartbeat. This was heaven, and she knew you had to enjoy it while you could because no matter who you were, there was always somebody coming along to pull you back down to Earth.

Well, whatever. She was going to live it up while she could, she’d deal with the craziness later. God, Faith was so warm…and she felt just like home.

CHAPTER FOUR

Faith woke up slowly, she was way too comfortable to give up the feeling easily. She was relaxed and warm, and Buffy’s scent was still all around her. That smell was the best thing ever, something she was going to remember all of her life, and she began breathing in deep as a smile lit her face.

She wasn’t even fully awake yet, but for some reason she was wondering how it was possible for skin to be as soft as Buffy’s. Yeah sure, Buffy was the girliest of girly girls, but she was also a Slayer and it wasn’t like she didn’t get banged up all the time. Yet somehow her skin was still all smooth and silky, almost like velvet.

Faith rubbed her hand along the arm that was wrapped around her, loving the feel of the soft golden hair covering the skin. She pushed back into the warmth with a contented sigh and…

“What the fuck?!”

“Hey, sleepyhead. Guess I wore you out.”

Faith rolled over, putting herself face to face with the owner of the world’s softest skin.

“Buffy, what the hell are you doing?”

“What I always do after sex with you. Just laying around recovering, remembering everything we did.”

“That’s great, but maybe you could do that in your own room.”

“Why? Is there a problem?”

Faith’s face darkened:

“Don’t fucking play games with me.”

“I’m not. It’s just, well this is the first time you’ve ever fallen asleep, and I guess I didn’t know the proper etiquette.”

“Yeah? Well you know we don’t hang afterwards.”

Buffy sat up, and as the sheet fell away, Faith’s eyes took its place.

“True, but you’re always the one who goes, not me.”

“Well unless you got stupid in the two hours I been sleepin’, I’m pretty sure you can figure out I don’t want you here.”

“So I should have just left then?”

“Yeah.”

Buffy laughed and stretched, flopping back down onto her pillow with a sexy sigh that had Faith all hot and bothered.

“Okay, let me get this straight. I’m supposed to get you off, let you have your way with me, then while you get all comfy and cozy, I should just slink off like some skank in the night.”

“No, but I don’t do sleepovers and you know that.”

“And that means what exactly? That I have to run off because you’re too lazy now to do your own running?”

“B…”

Buffy rolled onto her side, her head propped up on her hand as she looked at Faith:

“Why can’t you get off your ass and go? Sure it’s your room, but so what? Hey I know, you can just go to my room and I promise I’ll call you before I leave. That way you’ll have plenty of time to clear out before I get there.”

“Knock off the shit, Buffy. You know what I’m…”

“And if we happen to run into each other in the hall, make sure you keep your head down so we don’t make any accidental eye contact. I wouldn’t want you getting all shook up and having to…”

Faith got up and began putting on her clothes. Her face was like a mask, devoid of even the slightest glimmer of emotion.

“You need to get dressed and go.”

“I’d say you’re making that pretty clear.”

“So? What’s the hold up then?”

“Just remembering how you cuddled into me, how you sighed all happy and content before you woke all the way up and had to hide behind this shit again.”

Faith was mad, her mask gone. She leaned over Buffy, their faces just inches apart:

“I’m not scared, Buffy, and I’m not hiding.”

“Really? So what would you call it?”

“I’d call it smart. I’d call it me not wanting to get stuck with some clinging, whining…”

Buffy reached up and kissed her, pulling her down on top of her as she did.

“I don’t cling unless you’re inside me, and I never whine, except about clothes.”

“B…”

“This isn’t ‘clinging’, okay? What this is is me and you, nothing else. We had mind-blowing sex and I made you come so hard you fell asleep, something I would like a little praise for when you can get around to it. I stayed here because I was happy and tired and hoping maybe when you woke up, we could do it all over again.”

Faith had stopped struggling, but she still didn’t look happy.

“I’m not making plans to move in or marry you, I just think this whole ‘leaving’ thing is dumb. But hey, if you wanna keep doing it, go ahead. Just don’t get pissed at me when you screw it up, and don’t expect me to pick up the slack. I don’t ‘fuck and run’, that’s all you.”

Faith didn’t know what to do. She needed to go, but in one way it was too late. She’d already stayed, so how could it hurt to stick around a little longer, especially when Buffy was moving so sexily underneath her.

But did that mean she was caving and letting herself get played? She honestly didn’t know and that scared her, as did the fact that she always wanted to stay now, so much it felt like she was dying every time she left.

“F…”

Buffy lifted her head up next to Faith’s ear:

“…I want you. There’s plenty of time for you to run…later.”

Before Faith could answer, Buffy grabbed her jeans and ripped them in half from the back.

“B, fuck! Those were my favorite…”

“I guess you were right after all.”

“Huh?”

“If you stick around after, I’m gonna make you pay.”

Faith couldn’t help but laugh as she stood up and took off her shirt and the remnants of her jeans:

“Fine, but you’re gonna fuckin’ pay for that.”

“You’re such a big baby.”

Faith’s head dipped until she reached Buffy’s breast. She blew lightly on the nipple, sliding her tongue around so slowly and softly, Buffy wasn’t even sure what she was feeling. She thrust up to get more contact, but Faith pulled back.

“Always gotta try to control everything, don’t ya? Well some shit just goes how it goes, no matter what ya want.”

When their eyes met, Buffy knew that Faith was still upset. She was scared and angry, and she wasn’t at all happy with her fuck buddy’s behavior. When everything got added up, Buffy knew she was in for no small bit of payback.

Faith’s fingers were swirling all around her breasts and stomach, barely there but promising to be, and the sensation already had Buffy shaking and sweating.

“I like bein’ in control too, but me? I always just take what I want.”

Buffy’s nails dug into Faith’s ass and it hurt, just like Buffy wanted it to.

“Faith…”

Her voice was a cross between a warning and a plea.

“Tryin’ to hurt me, B?”

The nails dug in deeper.

“Yes.”

“Well it’s workin’, that shit stings.”

“F…”

Faith’s hand dipped down and her finger went in slowly…so, so slowly.

“That’s the thing though, B…I can get stubborn sometimes.”

Buffy looked like she was in agony, her body straining for more:

“God, would you just…”

“Wow, sure are wet. You turned on or somethin’?”

Buffy’d had enough and she tried to roll them over, but Faith blocked her easily:

“None of that, Slayer. Figure I get to be boss in my own bed.”

She kept teasing until she had Buffy on fire and aching for the more that she made sure stayed just out of reach.

“Now if you’d maybe ease up on my ass, might be able to concentrate on what I’m doin’.”

She was lightly circling along Buffy’s clit, her touch not doing a thing to relieve any of the pressure.

“...You are…such…a bitch.”

“Me? Shit B, you’re the one who’s drawin’ blood.”

Buffy couldn’t hold out any longer:

“Okay, fine.”

Her hands went up to Faith’s back, and Faith rewarded her by setting a tempo they both seemed to like. In just minutes, Buffy was right on the verge…then suddenly all movement stopped, and the noise that escaped from her was pure frustration:

“…What…are you…”

“Was just thinkin’, odds are you’re gonna scratch my back when I make ya come. It’s a classic, right? Chick comes screamin’, leaves some painful ass grooves on some poor sap’s back.”

“Faith, you’d better stop pushing me.”

Her fingers plunged in, causing Buffy to scream out as her hips lifted.

“Call me nuts, but I think you like it when I push.”

Almost against her will her legs wrapped around Faith’s waist, meeting her thrust for thrust. Faith kissed her long and hard, and Buffy felt like she was going to die from all the stimulation. The fingers gliding in and out so expertly, the lips and tongue almost brutal as they took what they wanted, the feeling of Faith’s skin rubbing and sliding along hers, all of it was making it hard for Buffy to think clearly.

“’Sides, pretty sure it was you who was doing the pushing just a few minutes ago.”

“…What do…What do you mean?”

“Wasn’t that you before who was tryin’ to push us someplace else?”

“...Such a…baby…God, don’t stop…”

Faith’s grin had way more than just a touch of cruelty in it:

“Kinda wondering how long I can keep ya here, ya know since you’re so big on stayin’.”

“It’s not a…crime to…”

Faith sped up again, her thrusts hard and fast. She leaned down to kiss her way along Buffy’s neck, then whispered into her ear:

“Gonna keep you right on the edge. Price ya pay for not goin’ when ya shoulda.”

“Fuck you…F.”

“Maybe later, nowhere near done with you yet.”

She bit down hard, then slid her way southward, her mouth stopping to appreciate all of Buffy’s most important parts along the way. It seemed to take her forever until she reached her goal.

“Gotta admit though, this is one of my favorite spots ever.”

She blew lightly and Buffy nearly screamed.

“Geez B, sure are wound up.”

Her tongue flicked out, and Buffy made a sound like she was bring tortured.

“Stop…teasing…me.”

“Or what?”

“Faith…”

Faith nuzzled in, her tongue dipping inside for a few precious seconds. Buffy’s hands clung to her head, trying to force her closer, but Faith pulled back:

“Buffy, c’mon now. Told ya I’m in charge.”

“Would you…”

“You keep bein’ bad, trying to make me do shit I don’t wanna do.”

“I wasn’t…”

There was no time for more of a response as Faith’s tongue entered her again for one exquisite moment, and Buffy’s hips lifted into the air trying to get her to go deeper and stay there. Faith laughed as she pulled back again:

“See? Like that. I don’t know, maybe I oughta tie ya up.”

“…Just…try it.”

There was a sharp, painful nip on her inner thigh that had Buffy crying out, and when their eyes met, the look on Faith’s face wasn’t exactly pleasant:

“Don’t dare me, B, or you’re gonna find yourself spread-eagled and begging…all night long.”

She began licking and sucking, and Buffy was quivering right on the edge:

“Yes…that’s it…”

Faith’s head lifted:

“You sure you want this, B?”

“Bitch!”

“Hey, don’t get pissed, I just wanna be sure. Wouldn’t wanna push ya into doing something you don’t want.”

Faith slid agonizingly up her body, and each touch had Buffy moaning and jerking.

“Tell ya what, you beg me and I’ll help ya out.”

“…’Beg you’?”

“Yeah, just to be sure you really want it.”

“Fuck you.”

Buffy tried to get up, but Faith pinned her to the bed.

“Let go of me.”

“Geez B, workin’ yourself closer and closer to that whole bondage scene.”

“I am not going to beg you for…”

Faith lowered her hips and began a grinding motion that hit all the right spots. Buffy couldn’t stop herself from yelling out, nor could she stop her hips from moving in rhythm.

“Fact is, Princess…you’re doin’ whatever the fuck I say you are. Now beg me.”

“Oh God, just like that…”

“Beg me, Buffy.”

“Right there…I’m almost…”

Faith lifted slightly, maintaining contact, just not enough to satisfy anyone.

“What are you…”

“Told ya, wanna hear you beg. You’re not gettin’ shit ‘til you do.”

Before she could speak the pressure was back, and Buffy was barely hanging on. She’d never felt so out of control, and she couldn’t stop her body from moving. She couldn’t stop the pathetic sounding whimpers that kept sneaking out either, no matter how hard she tried.

“Say ‘please’.”

Buffy couldn’t take it anymore, she felt like she was going to explode if Faith didn’t let her come. Her whole being…body, mind, and soul needed it, and she was so turned on she could barely form words:

“…Please…”

“What?”

“Please let me…”

“Let ya what? Mind givin’ me a complete sentence here?”

Buffy opened her eyes then, her anger apparent:

“Please let me…come…”

“That’s good, but didn’t hear the ‘begging’ word.”

“…Faith…Okay, fine…I’m begging you to…let me…come.”

“Now was that so hard?”

Faith’s body lowered and she set a punishing pace. In just a matter of moments Buffy got there, the strength of her orgasm lifting them both off the mattress. Faith never slowed at all, still rubbing and thrusting as her mouth claimed Buffy’s nipple.

She bit down a little too hard as her hand roughly squeezed Buffy’s other breast, and then she had her sailing again, even though she’d barely given her time to come back down. Buffy’s mind whirled off in a haze of pleasure, and when she regained her senses, Faith’s mouth was already busy driving her to another peak.

She could do nothing except go. Faith was pushing her higher and higher, and how that was even possible, well Buffy didn’t know. She was screaming almost constantly now, her voice hoarse and unlike anything she’d ever heard.

Her body was tense, so tense, and Faith continued to lick and suck and bite and thrust. Buffy felt it coming from a long way off, and the intensity scared her as she felt it building and building. She needed to feel connected, she needed not to be alone, and just then Faith reached up and linked their hands together.

Buffy lost it completely as her orgasm overtook her, her voice practically bellowing out of her as she screamed the only word she could:

“Faaaaiitthh!!!”

That was it, all she could think, all she could say, all she could feel.

When she awoke she was, of course, alone. She laid there for a while, wondering if she should call her room just to be on the safe side, but she knew that Faith was long gone.

“Gee look everyone, it’s the fabulous ‘fuck and run’…Wheee!”

Her voice sounded strange to her own ears, partly because it was still way over on the scratchy side, partly because she was talking out loud to herself like a crazy person.

She stood up gingerly and got dressed, her body sore and satisfied. She wanted nothing more than to make it back to her own room without running into anyone, because she definitely did not want to talk. She just wanted a shower and the chance to collect herself before she had to get back to business, whatever the hell that was.

She made it safely, but she knew she couldn’t dally too long. She had duties, obligations, responsibilities, and she couldn’t just sit alone in her room thinking about Faith like she wanted to. She couldn’t just run off either, somebody had to be the adult, and why that always had to be her, well she had no real answer for that.

It wasn’t helping anything that Willow and Xander were still out of the country, she desperately needed their advice and friendship. But they weren’t going to be home for at least another two weeks, and she couldn’t really discuss the newest developments on the phone. Everything had escalated since they’d been gone, and now it was all too crazy and convoluted to try and explain without being face to face with all the time in the world to go over things.

Giles was still available, but Buffy would rather die than discuss her sex life with him. She knew he’d probably rather die too, and she had no desire to kill him, although it didn’t take long before she began wondering if her non-desire was quite accurate after all.

She emerged from a long hot shower with just a towel wrapped around her head, and saw the message light blinking on her phone. She considered pretending that she’d never seen it, but Buffy was still the Slayer, and avoiding her responsibilities was not something she did anymore, at least not since her affair with the Immortal.

She grinned wryly as she thought about how that relationship had come to an abrupt end and hit the playback button:

“Buffy, Giles here. I just wanted to let you know that you’ve been assigned to group patrol tonight. Also, Willow called and wanted me to remind you to remind Kennedy to feed her fish. Right then, I shall speak to you later.”

She definitely wanted to kill him. He’d stuck her on “Newbie Patrol”…again.

The towel was tossed aside as she dressed quickly and ran down the stairs, banging on Kennedy’s door as she flew past:

“Feed the fish!”

Giles was in his office with the door wide-open, and Buffy was talking before she’d even entered the room:

“Giles, let somebody else baby-sit. I don’t…”

He never even glanced up from the paperwork on his desk:

“Need I remind you that these girls look up to you? They idolize you, and it’s a tremendous thrill for them to go out on patrol with The Slayer.”

“Yeah, I’m just thrilling. Can’t somebody else…”

“Buffy, do stop being tiresome. You are only required to ‘baby-sit’, as you so charmingly put it, five or six times a month. Surely you can manage.”

She glared at him and when that did nothing, she began pouting:

“But Giles…”

“Oh all right, here.”

She looked up at him hopefully, only to see that he was handing her a pen.

“What’s this for?”

“I suggest you take it with you on patrol. That way you’ll have something with which to sign autographs.”

“Giles!”

It was funny and she laughed, even though she felt like punching him.

“Now off you go. I’ve a veritable mountain of paperwork to slog through, unless perhaps you’d care to assist me with…”

She was out the door before he could finish the sentence, tossing his pen back onto his desk as she made her escape. He was without a doubt the meanest Watcher on the entire planet, and she loved him more than she could ever explain. She still wanted to kill him though.

CHAPTER FIVE

Two weeks had passed with no sign of Faith, and Buffy wasn’t surprised. Their last time together had been intense and revealing, and although Buffy was fine with what she had put on display, she knew Faith couldn’t say the same. Their relationship was escalating, and no matter how much Faith wanted to deny it, they were in love.

Buffy didn’t know what they were going to do. She had no idea how to make it okay for Faith, and she had no clue how to figure it out. All she wanted was to be happy, to bask in the love she’d found and take comfort in it, and know that Faith wanted the same.

She grabbed some money off her dresser and closed the door to her room. She was all fresh and clean, the result of a long hot soak after her workout. She hoped she hadn’t broken Kennedy’s nose, but she was fairly certain she had.

Kennedy could be considered, if not a best friend, then a close one. Once some time had passed and she had settled into her new powers, she’d become much less obnoxious. She’d stopped pushing at Buffy and questioning her every move and decision, and before too long, she’d actually even begun to pay her a little bit of respect.

As a result Buffy had finally been willing give her a chance, and she found to her surprise that there was a lot to like about Kennedy. She was funny, brave, smart, and she wanted to be the best Slayer ever. Another big plus, the biggest one actually, was that she made Willow happy, and that covered a lot of faults as far as Buffy was concerned.

She went three doors down and knocked quietly. It wasn’t long before Willow appeared:

“Hey, Buff. I’m ready and raring.”

“Great. How’s Kennedy?”

Willow glanced over her shoulder, then back at Buffy:

“She’s good. Her nose was broken, but I set it and she’s sleeping now. She’ll be okay.”

“That’s good to hear. I hope she knows…”

Willow closed the door and linked her arm with Buffy’s as they began walking down the hallway:

“She does. Besides, she said it was her fault. She got distracted and…”

“I still shouldn’t have hit her that…”

Willow looked at her then, her face concerned.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Buffy looked almost startled:

“Huh?”

“Why are you doing the big guilt trip over a sparring accident?”

Before Buffy could answer, Xander came barreling out of his room. They were in his blind spot, so he didn’t see them as he headed for the stairs.

Willow called out to him:

“Hey!”

He never even spared them a glance, waving distractedly behind him:

“Sorry, can’t talk now. I’m late meeting Buffy and Willow for…”

“Nope, you’re right on time, childhood pal of mine.”

He spun to face them with a big relieved grin:

“Hey, didn’t see you guys there. So I guess you’re not mad about me being late.”

“Nope, we’re running late too, partly because I broke Kennedy’s nose.”

Xander winced as he hooked his arm with Buffy’s free one:

“Gee Buffster, shouldn’t you know your own strength by now?”

“You’d think so, but I guess not.”

Willow tugged gently on her arm:

“Not your fault, remember?”

Xander’s focus was on food:

“So where are we headed? I vote for ‘Joe’s Diner’.”

“That works for me. Buff?”

“I could eat a club sandwich and fries.”

They made it down the stairs still linked, and when they hit the lobby floor, Xander disengaged and gestured at them to be quiet as he looked around. Satisfied that they were alone, he smiled mischievously, dug into his pocket, and dangled a set of keys in front of them.

“Look what I’ve got!”

Willow couldn’t believe it:

“The keys to Giles’ car? He gave those to you?”

“Willow, Willow, of course he gave them to me…in the sense that he didn’t notice they were missing.”

Willow seemed to pale and flush at the same time:

“We can’t take the…can we?”

Buffy and Xander each had an arm and were dragging her to the front door. Xander spoke first, followed quickly by Buffy:

“What he doesn’t know can’t hurt us.”

“Come on, Will. Let’s get wild!”

There was a noise from down the hall, the sound a squeak that seemed to indicate Giles’ office door was opening. They hesitated for a second, and then all three of them ran for their lives, leaping into the shiny red convertible as Xander squealed out of the parking area.

By the time they hit the main drag, they were giggling their heads off.

“Do you think he heard us?”

Buffy leaned forward from the backseat:

“No way, Will. I think we made it free and clear.”

“And how about my excellent driving skills during the getaway?”

Buffy laughed and leaned back, feeling better than she had in months. Her friends were home, and the three of them were behaving like irresponsible teenagers. It was just what she needed.

The day was warm and sunny, and they decided to “cruise for chicks” before they went to eat. Willow even did a catcall on a dare from Xander, then turned beet red when they got stopped at the light and the girl walked over to the car and gave her her phone number.

“Better hand it over, Will. You wouldn’t want Kennedy finding that in your pocket.”

She looked down at the small piece of paper like it was a scorpion, and thrust it at him:

“Take it!”

He did, with a big grin, placing it carefully in his shirt pocket. Buffy couldn’t help but express her doubts:

“Xander, how does that number possibly help you? Clearly the girl’s gay, she gave it to Will and…”

Xander met her gaze in the rearview mirror:

“Buffster, why does any man climb any mountain? Because it’s there. Don’t you worry, I’m more than up to the challenge.”

“Right…Also, you haven’t had a date in three months.”

His eye met hers again:

“But I do seem to be collecting me a fine stable of lesbians.”

Willow slugged him in the shoulder:

“Hey! We’re not things, you know. And maybe we’re collecting you, ever think of that?”

“Good point, but since I’ve always really wanted a harem of …”

Willow snorted:

“Of women who like women?”

Buffy leaned back again, letting the wind blow through her hair as she sat happily listening to their silly argument.

“Okay, yes, that’s a slight problem, but I’m betting I can work around it.”

They arrived at “Joe’s” just after the lunch rush, and were greeted warmly as they were led to their favorite outdoor table. Their waiter arrived with a Coke for Xander, a root beer for Willow, and Buffy’s Diet Coke.

“Do you guys need a minute or are you ready to order?”

Xander was starving, so he made the decision:

“We’re ready, Dan. I’ll have the deluxe cheeseburger all the way, with fries.”

“I’ll have the same, only the regular one, no onions or pickles or bacon, extra mustard and cheese, and a salad instead of fries.”

Dan smiled, he was more than used to Willow.

“Got it. Buffy?”

“I’ll have the club with extra fries, please.”

“Okay, it’ll be right out.”

Then they were alone, and there was no noise until Xander broke the silence by slurping up the last of his Coke with his straw. He let out a soft, muffled belch and then just asked:

“So Buff, are you going to tell us what’s wrong?”

“’Wrong’?”

“Yeah, ‘wrong’, as in…Willow, definition please.”

“Buffy, we know something’s going on, so just tell us.”

“Well it’s not so much that something’s going on…”

Dan replaced Xander’s drink and was gone in a second.

“It’s just Faith and me…me and Faith.”

Willow smiled reassuringly:

“Color me unsurprised. So what about you and Faith?”

Xander picked up his glass:

“What she said.”

“Well, in the time you guys have been gone, it’s gotten a lot more serious.”

“What do you mean by ‘serious’? Like me and Kennedy serious?”

Buffy’s voice raised an octave or two:

“You mean, ‘married’ serious?! No, no to that serious! That’s a serious that’s way too serious…seriously.”

Willow reached over to squeeze her hand:

“Sorry, big gun jump here, so you can stop with the hyperventilating now.”

Buffy took a sip of her drink and made herself calm down.

“Okay, well the thing is, it’s just way obvious that we’re in love, like the whole ‘head over heels’ kind of love.”

Xander’s smile was huge:

“So that’s all of the good, right? No downside there except for the part where Faith must hate to admit……Oh.”

“Exactly. And things got a little intense the last time we were together. I won’t go into all the details, but…”

“No, go ahead. I think you should definitely give us a detailed description of all the details. Don’t leave out a thing.”

Willow smacked him on the back of the head, hard.

“Ow!”

“Xander, shut up. This is serious.”

He looked somewhat chastised:

“You’re right, Will. Sorry, Buffy.”

She smiled at him and sipped her drink thoughtfully:

“It’s okay, I don’t really know what I want to say anyway. It’s just…We take a step forward, she retreats. She retreats, I go get her, then we take a step forward, and it happens all over again. It’s getting frustrating.”

“Have you talked to her about it?”

“That’s the thing, Will, she doesn’t want to hear it. She says she’s fine with just being ‘fuck buddies’, but I know she’s not. And is it so crazy that I’d like to make love with the woman I love, then actually wake up with her in the morning?”

Xander’s drink was gone, so he got started on Buffy’s:

“I don’t think it’s crazy, not unless the woman in question is Faith.”

Willow jumped in:

“And that is a big part of the problem, Buff. I mean, Faith is…well she’s Faith.”

Buffy grabbed what was left of her drink from Xander, and finished it off.

“I know that, and I don’t really want to change her…not completely. But I can see that she wants more with me, she’s just afraid.”

Their food arrived as did more drinks, and they dug in. There was no talking for a few minutes and then Xander piped up:

“Buff?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Faith loves you, right?”

“Yes she does, I’m positive about that.”

“So I think maybe you have to make her understand just what that means.”

“I’m not following.”

Willow was clearly agreeing with Xander:

“He’s right, Buffy. She is sort of taking you for granted.”

“Do you think?”

“She definitely is. Hey, Will…”

“Just take them.”

He began plucking all the croutons off of Willow’s salad as he glanced at Buffy:

“Faith knows that you love her, and she knows that you’ll put up with just about anything from her.”

“Well, that was kind of the deal we made.”

Bits of croutons flew out of his mouth as Xander laughed:

“But that was before, months before.”

“So?”

“Would you please swallow those? You’re spraying them all over the place!”

Willow thrust her root beer at him and turned back to Buffy:

“It does seem pretty unrealistic to think that things could stay the same between you forever. So you love her, for sure?”

Buffy laughed:

“Don’t sound so surprised. I think I’ve always had feelings for her.”

“I’m not surprised, but it did start off as a purely sexual thing.”

Xander leaned across the table, his eye sparkling as he wiggled his eyebrows:

“Of which we would love to hear the details.”

This time they both smacked him.

“But that’s the thing, I don’t think it ever was just sexual, at least not for me. Although I will admit that the ‘sexual’ is pretty darn spectacular.”

Willow grinned:

“Oh, I can see that. Faith is still like sex on…on…”

“She’s like sex on sex, and you are one lucky woman, Buffster.”

“Yes I am. After all this time, she’s still so…so…”

Willow finished the sentence:

“She’s still so ‘Faith’.”

“Exactly! Faith is still all ‘Faith’ and she’s the best lover I’ve ever had. The things she does, the way she…”

Buffy stopped herself and two heads turned to look at Xander.

“What? I didn’t say a word.”

Buffy laughed and slid her fries over to him:

“No, but we could actually hear you thinking.”

“No fair! Will, you’re not supposed to…”

“She doesn’t mean ‘actually’ for real. You don’t need to read your mind to read your mind.”

He looked relieved as he dipped the fries in ketchup:

“Well Buffy’s the one who brought it up, and how come you can’t talk about the sex in front of me?”

Dan arrived with another tray of drinks, clearing the old glasses and making small talk for a couple of minutes. When he left, Buffy picked up right where they’d left off:

“Because you’re a guy.”

“So?”

“So all you do is think about sex with women.”

Willow was nodding her agreement, and Xander was genuinely confused:

“But you guys are gay. You actually have sex with women, so how’s that fair?”

“…He’s got a point, Buffy.”

“Hmm…maybe.”

Xander was nothing but eager and earnest:

“Okay, so give it a try. Just pretend I’m one of the girls, one of the gay girls!”

“All right, but I’m warning you…”

“No leering or stupid comments, I promise, Buff.”

He leaned forward, his chin resting in his hand as he waited patiently. Buffy looked unsure, but she decided to plow on ahead.

“All right, so the last time we had sex…well she was mad, and that always makes her mad when I know it. So anyway, she wanted to get back in control and she made me beg.”

Willow looked alarmed, but she was trying to hide it:

“What do you mean? Like she hurt you?”

“No, nothing like that, Will.”

“Oh, okay, good. No beating Faith and turning her into a frog then.”

“She just, well she just kept me right on the edge…forever.”

“Wow, you must have been…”

“Yeah, I was.”

Buffy sipped her drink, then continued on:

“I didn’t want to, but finally I couldn’t take it anymore, so I begged her. She wasn’t being cold exactly, just kind of removed…but then…Well I started coming, I mean I could feel it coming, and I got scared. I knew it was going to be really intense and I wanted her with me.”

Willow looked like she understood completely:

“And she didn’t…”

“No, that’s the thing, it was like she knew what I needed. She reached up and held my hand, you know, fingers entwined at just the right moment. Her face was buried, her tongue was in me and she never even slowed down, but somehow she still knew…”

Xander’s chair clattered backwards to the floor as he sprang up.

“Okay then, good talk. I have to….ah…make a call. You two go ahead.”

Then he was gone, leaving them staring after him.

“So apparently he’s not one of us girls, gay or otherwise.”

“Guess not. I think maybe you broke him, Buff.”

They laughed until Willow got them back on track:

“So that does seem pretty intense.”

“It was. It always is when we’re together. She’s such a good lover, always giving me just what I need. I’ve never been this satisfied, but even right after we’re done, I want her all over again.”

“That sounds great, so what’s the real problem?”

Buffy let out a huge sigh.

“Every time something happens, she runs. Like that’s going to make any difference.”

“So you want her to stop leaving?”

“Yes, but no. I mean, if she has to, she has to. I just want us to take this to the next level, to be in love and then deal with what that means, instead of pretending it doesn’t exist.”

“Then you have to talk to her about it.”

Buffy laughed, but she wasn’t happy. She eyed Willow’s salad:

“Are you going to finish that?”

“Nope. Trade you for the rest of your sandwich.”

They exchanged and began munching in silence.

“So I need to talk to her, don’t I?”

“But I think you need to make sure to stay calm.”

“I think I can guarantee calmness. It’s not like I’m mad at her, I just want things to change a little bit.”

Willow struggled to be optimistic:

“It sounds reasonable, but this is Faith were talking about. And ‘reasonable’? Not exactly on the list when I think of the best words to describe her.”

“Ah, but I can do reasonable standing on my head.”

“True, I have seen many examples of your reasonableness over the years. In fact I’d say I’m positively upbeat about the possibility of your future reasonableness.”

Buffy looked at her, her eyebrow quirked in amusement:

“You think I’m gonna go nuts, don’t you?”

“Yep, absolutely.”

“Me too.”

They went back to their food.

“I love this house dressing. It’s delicious.”

“So’s this sandwich. They always toast it just right.”

“Uh, Will?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Do you think Xander’s ever coming back?”

Willow scanned the area, but there was no sign of him.

“Probably not until we give him the ‘all-clear’ signal.”

“Which is?”

“Good point. I guess he’ll meet us at the car.”

CHAPTER SIX

Two more weeks passed before Faith showed up again. Buffy was stretched out on a blanket by the lake, having just finished her lunch with a bunch of the newer girls. They’d finally gone off to their mandatory assembly, leaving Buffy with at least two solid hours with nothing better to do than stare out at the water.

Hiya, B. What’s shakin’?”

“Faith.”

Buffy’s tone was frosty, and Faith looked nervous. She picked up a rock and skipped it along the surface.

“Four skips, not so shabby, yeah?”

“Yeah, you’re just great.”

“Mind if I sit down?”

Buffy’s non-response didn’t matter, Faith was already down.

“So B…”

“So F…”

“You’re mad.”

Buffy turned to face her, forcing herself to ignore just how glad she was to see her again.

“Yes I’m mad, how could I not be?”

“Look, I know things got kinda carried away, but…”

Buffy could not believe what she was hearing:

“Are you really this stupid?”

The look on Faith’s face seemed to answer that question in the affirmative.

“What’re ya…”

“God, I’m not mad because of the sex. I’m mad because you’ve been gone for over a month!”

“But B, I told ya I go when I gotta.”

Buffy stood up and walked off a few paces, staring out at the lake as she tried her best to stay calm and reasonable. It wasn’t working out as well as she’d hoped it would, and she knew even standing on her head probably wouldn’t make much of a difference.

“That’s great, Faith, just fantastic. But you were gone for a whole fucking month! Not a word to anyone…Don’t you care about me at all?”

Faith stood up and walked over to her:

“What the hell are you talking about? What’s this got to do with you?”

Buffy shoved her, and before Faith could fully recover her balance, Buffy shoved her again. She hit the ground hard, her face stunned:

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“With me? Yeah, well I guess maybe that is the question, because clearly something has to be wrong with me since I keep putting up with this.”

“I don’t understand. If you’re not mad about the sex, what the hell’s got your panties in a bunch?”

“Tell me Faith, do you really not get it or are you just pretending?”

Faith stood back up, but this time she kept her distance:

“Why don’t ya just clue me in?”

“You left and were gone for a month. I’m pretty sure if you asked a hundred random strangers, they’d all get why I’m mad.”

“Yeah? Well good for them. I figured you’d be glad to see me.”

Buffy counted silently in her head. She was fairly certain it would be far from reasonable if she drowned Faith in the lake like she wanted to. Still…

She struggled to keep her voice calm and level:

“I am glad to see you, I’m always glad to see you. But you were gone for so long and I was worried.”

“Well shit, B. How the fuck was I supposed to know you’d be worried?”

As was so often the case, Buffy didn’t know if it was the words or the attitude, but Faith’s response made her see red. She said nothing, trying her best to get her temper under control before she spoke, but then Faith poured gas on the fire:

“’Sides, don’t need a mother. Big girl here, in case ya ain’t noticed, and I...”

“Oh, I’ve noticed. I notice everything about you, Faith, even the things you’d prefer I didn’t.”

Faith took a step back, her face frightened and vulnerable before she managed to get her cocky demeanor back into place.

“Not sure what you’re gettin’ at, but…”

“I’m getting at something you never want to discuss, but this time we’re going to.”

“B, this is nuts. Look, I’m sorry you freaked, okay? Let’s head to your room and I’ll make it up to ya.”

Buffy said nothing and Faith edged closer until she was just an arm’s length away. She reached out and softly ran her hand through Buffy’s hair, then continued gently down her cheek and neck to her breast.

She closed the gap when Buffy hardened instantly at her touch:

“C’mon, B…I missed you, let me show ya how much.”

Buffy melted into her as Faith’s lips met her own, insisting until Buffy finally opened her mouth. Faith’s tongue swept in demandingly as she pulled their bodies together forcefully. They both groaned when they felt the contact, and they both moved, trying to get closer.

Buffy felt lost. Lost in Faith, lost in love, lost in the moment, but she knew if she allowed this, allowed Faith to sweep everything aside with sex, they would never make it. She couldn’t let it happen, she just couldn’t.

“No…stop.”

Faith’s hand unzipped her pants and quickly found a new home that already had Buffy’s hips moving to its rhythm.

“B…Mmm, you’re soaking wet.”

Buffy couldn’t stop the moan as she felt Faith edging closer to entering her:

“N…No…stop.”

Faith was nibbling all along her neck, her other hand toying with Buffy’s breast:

“You don’t mean that, B. You know you want it…It’s been so long, baby…Just let me…”

So fast, that was all Buffy could think as she crossed the point of no return.

With just a couple of touches, she was unable to think clearly, to reason anything out. There was just the smoky voice growling in her ear, the knowing fingers ratcheting up her desire until she could barely breathe…and Buffy relented.

Faith kissed her as she entered her, and Buffy cried out, the sound muffled and lost in Faith’s mouth. Her legs lifted, wrapping firmly around Faith’s waist as she began thrusting against the fingers that were driving her insane with pleasure.

“You feel so good, B…all hot and tight…”

Buffy couldn’t speak, she was past speech except for the moans and sighs and grunts as Faith lowered her to the blanket without stopping. Faith picked up the pace until she was almost pounding into her, her other arm wrapped around Buffy’s waist to pull her closer while her mouth devoured her.

And then just like that, Buffy felt it again. It was coming from someplace so deep inside herself, she had no choice but to let it go.

“Please…Faith, please…”

She didn’t know what she was pleading for, didn’t know what she wanted. She only knew that if she came without it, she was going to be destroyed.

“Faith…please…”

Then Faith was kissing her again, out of lust or a desire to shut her up, there was no way Buffy could answer that question. But as she felt herself swirling, igniting and falling into the passion she would only ever feel for the woman possessing her, she got what she needed.

Faith jerked her mouth free from Buffy’s, kissing her way up to her ear, and then Buffy heard the soft whisper:

“I love you.”

And then all was chaos.

Buffy exploded into the fiercest, wildest orgasm known to humankind. A blinding flash of colors appeared, she screamed loud enough to startle a flock of birds from a nearby tree, and her body lifted up into a sitting position, all of her limbs wrapped around Faith.

She clung so violently, she would have injured anyone but another Slayer. Her nails sunk into Faith’s back right through her shirt, her mouth clamped down hard on Faith’s shoulder, and her legs tightened to an almost rib cracking intensity. The world just spun away and Buffy went with it.

When she eventually calmed down, she found herself lying on her back on the blanket. She knew when she turned her head she would find that Faith had gone again, and she had no idea how she was going to deal with that. She didn’t think she could, and so she continued staring up at the clouds, wishing she was floating on one in all the peace and calmness they seemed to offer.

But that sort of tranquility wasn’t for her. It never had been, it never would be, and she knew better than to try and pretend otherwise. She could feel the tears trying to fall, but she pushed them back and turned her head, prepared to see the empty space staring back at her.

Instead she saw Faith sitting cross-legged, slowly pulling up grass, one blade at a time.

“…Faith?”

“Amazing really.”

”What is?”

“How I feel about you.”

Buffy didn’t move. Everything seemed too tenuous, like if she moved Faith would disappear in a puff of smoke, an illusion after all.

“I didn’t want this, B. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry you love me, it’s too wonderful.”

Faith tossed some grass into the wind and watched as it blew away.

“Yeah, it is.”

Buffy didn’t like anything she was seeing or feeling, so she sat up.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this.”

“Do what?”

The eyes that met Buffy’s were filled with tears:

“Anything.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t be with you. Much as I wish I could, I just can’t.”

Buffy pushed back the panic that was threatening to overtake her:

“Why?”

Faith spoke as if Buffy never had:

“Can’t be without you either…The big fucking cliché.”

Buffy reached for her hand, but Faith avoided her:

“Tried to fuck somebody else last week. Pretty little blonde girl…She wanted me so bad, and I felt nothing. Made myself kiss her and I almost puked. She didn’t taste right, didn’t smell right, and her skin wasn’t soft enough. Fucking eyes were blue.”

“Faith, I know this is…”

“So I figured okay, chicks are out. Fine, I’d find some stud to do it with. Went back out, had me a guy in like five minutes. Real looker, had quite a tool hangin’ there. Same deal, I felt nothing when he touched me…Tossed his ass ‘fore he even got a taste.”

They sat quietly for a long time until Faith finally spoke up:

“Thought it’d ease up if I had ya, you know? Figured if I fucked you enough times, could get you out of my system. But it’s worse now, B. It’s like a fire burning me up from the inside. I’m never gonna want anyone else, never gonna get over you. You’re just here forever, no matter what.”

“I feel the same way. It’s love and it’s a good thing. It’s not…”

“Yeah, for you, I guess it is. For me…Well for me, it’s somethin’ else.”

Buffy managed to snag her hand, and this time Faith didn’t try to pull away.

“It doesn’t have to be. I know it’s scary for you, but we can do it together. We’ll…”

“Buffy, you’re all light and good and everything I’m not. I don’t know how to be in love, don’t have the first clue, and I’ll end up hurting you so much. Then you’ll end up hating me, and I can’t take that again.”

“What ‘again’?”

Faith laughed:

“Well, figure stickin’ a knife in my gut’s not exactly a sign of true devotion.”

“That was like ten million years ago, and I’ve never hated you, not even then.”

“Not blaming you, B. Got what I deserved…but I couldn’t live through that again.”

“And you’re not going to have to.”

Faith pulled her hand loose, and looked into Buffy’s eyes:

“You don’t get it. You can’t even imagine how much I don’t want this. To me, love’s not somethin’ nice, it’s ugly and it lies all the time. It hurts people and it makes them…”

Buffy interrupted her:

“Faith, it’s just me, and I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. You were there, you know how I felt about Angel. Well what I feel for you makes that seem like exactly what it was, a schoolgirl crush. I want you, I need you, you’re everything to me. I know this is all new for you, so we’ll go slow. We’ll do it however we need to, we don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do. We’ll be flexible, give you all the time and space you need to get used to it.”

Faith shook her head slowly in wonder:

“You’d do it too, wouldn’t you? No way you could be a better person…You’re so beautiful, Buffy.”

“What are you talking about?”

Faith stood up, and Buffy felt the panic returning as she scrambled to her feet as well.

“No fucking way am I gonna saddle you with me. Not gonna make you run around and try to please some no good cunt who’s so fucked up she…”

Buffy slapped her.

“Don’t you ever talk about yourself like that again.”

They stood staring at each other until Buffy spoke, her face full of emotion:

“Faith, I love you, all of you. I don’t want you to be someone else, I just want you to be yourself. Whatever that means we have to do to make this work, fine. We can figure it out together.”

Faith gently stroked Buffy’s cheek with the back of her fingers, the smile on her face literally heartbreaking.

“I wish we could, B. More than you’ll ever know.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“I don’t know what else to do.”

“All you have to do is trust me. I know how to make this work and I’ll show you. We’ll just take it one day at a time, whatever you need…Please Faith, all you have to do is trust me.”

“It won’t work, you know that.”

The tears began falling and Faith had to look away. Buffy grabbed her chin, forcing her to face her:

“If you go, you’re going to break my heart. I’ll never get over it, I won’t, Faith. What I feel for you is too strong, I’ll never be able to move on, there won’t be anyone else for me. There will always just be you, and I’ll never stop wanting and needing you.”

“B, don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth. I won’t ever get over you, not if you don’t even let us try. I’ll always be waiting, always thinking today is the day you’re going to come back home. Please Faith, don’t do that to me, don’t make me spend my life wishing for you.”

Faith’s own tears rolled down her face and she swiped at them angrily:

“Fuck, what do you want from me?! I can’t…”

“One month.”

“What?”

“Give me one month. We’ll try it and if you can’t do it, I’ll let you go. No big scene, no trying to make you stay, but I need that month.”

“’A month’.”

Buffy was excited now, her smile nearly blinding. Her arms encircled Faith’s waist and she looked into her eyes:

“We’ll see if we can find a way to make it work. If it turns out we can’t or you don’t like it, then we’ll go our separate ways…no strings, no drama.”

Faith’s dimples flashed against her will as Buffy quoted her back to herself:

“…Told ya, there’s always gonna be strings.”

“Yes you did, but I promise I won’t try to stop you if you want to go.”

“One month?”

“Yep, thirty-one days.”

Faith brushed Buffy’s hair back from her face, her hand lingering as if it couldn’t bear to be anywhere else:

“Ya know, most people’d have said ‘thirty’.”

“Well true, but I might need that extra day.”

They stood silently, then Faith lowered her head to rest it in the crook of Buffy’s shoulder:

“Okay.”

“Really, Faith? You’ll try it?”

Her lips grazed Buffy’s neck like a delicate caress:

“Yeah, I’ll do my best.”

Buffy lifted her and spun them around, finally lowering Faith into a huge and passionate kiss.

“We can do this, you’ll see.”

“Hope you’re right…Hey!”

Buffy took them both down onto the blanket.

“I am …but for now, I just want to show you how you make me feel.”

“Okay, but maybe oughta take it to your room ‘cause we’re…”

“Oh, I see. You can take me right out here in the open, but when it’s my turn, you want to be all shy and proper.”

“Yeah…No…I mean, I got carried away before and…”

Buffy tossed her top and bra aside and reached for Faith’s:

“To hell with proper. I want you, right here and right now.”

She lowered herself until their breasts met, and Faith’s eyes closed, her breathing already erratic and shallow.

“Besides, you know what they say, F…”

Maybe she did, but as Buffy undid her pants, Faith found she couldn’t speak.

“…’Want, take, have’. It’s a good philosophy, one I’m going to put into practice.”

“B…”

Buffy’s head lowered, her mouth stopping less than an inch from Faith’s:

“Faith?”

“…Yeah?”

“I love you.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

ONE YEAR LATER…….....

“Will you fucking c’mon?!”

Buffy came running around the corner:

“I’m here!”

“Great, so now we got…six minutes to make it across town.”

Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around her:

“Just four, my cranky Slayer, because I’m going to kiss you for two.”

“B, c’mon! We gotta get…”

Buffy’s lips muffled her comment, and it took only a second before Faith no longer cared that they were going to be late.

As they parted, Buffy kissed the tip of her nose, and as always the action caused Faith’s dimples to deepen, which in turn made Buffy’s tongue dip into them.

“It won’t matter if we’re a little late, he knows how I am.”

“Yeah, and boy is that a real comfort.”

She was mainly kidding, but there was still a small touch of jealousy that he’d gotten there first.

“That’s over and you know it. For one thing, he’s got man parts, and although those can be quite nice, I prefer a different set-up now.”

She smiled as she kissed Faith, nipping at her bottom lip as she pulled away.

“And then of course, there’s the fact that I’m in love with somebody else.”

“Anybody I know?”

“I think maybe you do. She’s the sexiest, most wonderful person I’ve ever met. She’s smart and funny and sweet and beautiful, and I love her so much it takes my breath away every time I see her.”

“Fuck, she sounds hot. Maybe I oughta look her up.”

“Forget about it, F. She’s all mine.”

They held hands as they went down the stairs into the lobby, the spot where Giles and Willow had chosen to look over a huge mountain of papers. The counter was covered, as was every other available surface, and Willow was all smiles when she looked up and saw them:

“You guys leaving now?”

“Yeah, Her Highness here made us late.”

“Sorry, but some people need time to make themselves look presentable.”

Faith looked at her like she’d gone crazy:

“Yeah, well that’s not you. You look beautiful all the time, so no clue why ya gotta bother with all that shit.”

Giles walked over to them and Buffy reached out eagerly:

“Thanks, Giles!”

He deliberately bypassed her outstretched hand to deposit the keys with Faith.

“Promise to treat your baby like she was mine.”

“Hey, my hand was out first!”

He went back to his papers, a long-suffering look on his face:

“Yes it was Buffy, but as I’m very much desirous of having my car returned to me in one undamaged piece, I feel it best to be prudent.”

“No worries, G-Man. Let’s motor, B.”

Buffy was furious:

“I was a bad driver, but that was years ago! I’m very good at it now…tell him, Will!”

Willow resembled nothing so much as a convict caught in the spotlight as she tried to scale the wall

:

“Uh…well yes, you could be called a ‘very good’ driver now…I mean, if you were being graded on a very generous curve…which I am more than willing to do because of the whole ‘best friends’ thing.”

“Will!”

Faith took Buffy firmly by the arm and began pulling her along:

“Here we go, B.”

“So I slightly bumped into a pole last time. Like none of you have ever done that!”

Faith nearly shoved her out the door as Buffy showed no signs of going on her own.

“I cannot believe her! What a traitor!”

“Yeah, Red’s a real piece of work, alright.”

Faith held onto her with one hand, opened the car door with the other, and after a slight push, Buffy slid in ranting and raving the whole way. It took her nearly five minutes to get over it, and Faith spent that time trying to decide if she should slug her or kiss her to get her to shut the hell up. Before she could settle on her decision, Buffy finally sighed and relaxed.

At the light, Faith leaned over and kissed her anyway.

“What was that for?”

“I gotta have a reason?”

“No.”

The light changed and Faith hit the gas. Her reason would have been lost in the wind if Buffy hadn’t been a Slayer:

“’Cause I fuckin’ love you.”

Buffy smiled and leaned back against the headrest:

“I can’t wait to see him, can you?”

“Yeah, not the same talking on the phone. Plus I’m hoping to get him to agree to move here.”

Buffy was surprised:

“You are?”

“Been thinkin’ about it, and why not? Guy left because of you, but you’re both over that now, so why shouldn’t he come back? Not like we can’t use the help.”

“You talk to him way more than me. Do you think he would?”

Faith laid on the horn as someone pulled out in front of her:

“Dipshit! No guarantee, but he’s lonely for sure. Never got over losing his crew, and it’s not good for him to be alone all the time.”

“No, it’s not. Everybody needs somebody, no matter how tough they are.”

Faith looked at her:

“Oh yeah, that’s way subtle, B.”

Buffy laughed:

“What?”

“You’re such a little shit, always gotta get your own way.”

“Of course I do. Besides, what fun would our lives be if I didn’t?”

“No argument here. So anyway, I wanna bring it up when we see him. Ya with me?”

“One hundred percent.”

Buffy was suddenly jerked forward, her hands hitting the dashboard as Faith slammed on the brakes, stopping the car on a dime.

“Fuck me, it’s our lucky day!”

“There is no way you can fit this car into that spot.”

“Whatcha wanna bet?”

“Faith…”

“C’mon, Golden Girl. What’s on the line?”

“Do you always have to…”

A horn honked behind them and Faith looked back over her shoulder:

“Fucking go around, numb nuts. We’re parkin’ here!”

When she turned back to Buffy, there was a gleam of excitement in her eyes.

“Tell ya what, I cram this baby in there without causing any damage, I get to tie your ass up and do whatever I want to you.”

“What? No! How many times do I have to tell you I don’t…”

“So you’re a chicken. Shot your mouth off and now ya ain’t got the balls to back it up.”

Buffy’s shoulders straightened and she suddenly looked like The Slayer:

“I am not a chicken.”

“Bwawk, bwawk, bwawk…Buffy is a…”

“Fuck you, F. Fine, what do I get when I win?”

“You decide.”

It didn’t even take her an instant.

“A romantic night out at a real restaurant with you all dressed up.”

“What? No fucking way! I don’t wanna dress up, we just did that…”

“Six months ago, and now who’s a chicken?”

Faith looked indignant, and then her trademark smirk appeared:

“Oh B, you are so gonna beg.”

“We’ll see.”

“Bet your ass, we will. Guess ya forgot I’m from Boston.”

“And?”

“And ya gotta know how to take advantage of the space ya get, baby.”

Buffy rolled her eyes:

“What does hotwiring a car have to do with parking it?”

“Ha, ha. Least I always had wheels when I needed’em”

“Yes, nothing like a stolen car to brighten up the day.”

Now it was Faith who rolled her eyes:

“Okay Miss Goody Two Shoes, gimme a kiss for luck.”

“And why should I do that when I don’t want you to win?”

Another car honked and Faith swung around in her seat:

“There’s two other fucking lanes. Pick one, asshole.”

She turned back to Buffy with a big smile on her face:

“Know we got a bet, but you’re my girl. Ya gotta wish me luck, it’s in the rulebook.”

“Fine, come here.”

They kissed, and as always it escalated rapidly. The blast of a truck horn jarred them apart, and Faith wasn’t exactly happy at the interruption.

“What?!”

A man leaned out of the truck window, gesturing angrily:

“Wanna move the ‘Dykemobile’?”

“Yeah, be happy to shove it up your ass.”

He sneered at her:

“Guess you must be the man.”

“Somebody’s gotta be. You sure as fuck don’t qualify.”

“Bitch!”

He honked again and roared past them.

“Okay B, here goes nothin’.”

***************************************

Angel greeted them enthusiastically, nearly crushing each of them in turn as he hugged them close. He’d already ordered their drinks, teasing Buffy that he knew she’d take forever to get ready.

“I thought I’d better get things started, just in case. So did you guys see what was causing all the commotion out front?”

Buffy laughed as Faith scowled.

“That was us, or Faith, to be more specific.”

He looked concerned:

“Did you get into a fight or…”

“Was trying to park.”

Buffy couldn’t contain her glee, not that she tried very hard…or at all.

“Angel, if you need any tips on parallel parking, well did you know that Faith is from Boston?”

“Shut up, B. Almost had it, and you fuckin’ know it.”

“And if we’d been playing horseshoes, you’d be the big winner. As it is, I’m trying to figure out where we should go shopping for your dress.”

Faith almost choked and ended up dribbling beer all over her shirt:

“’Dress’? No fucking way! I never said anything about a dress!”

“Well, that’s how girls dress up, so…”

“I’m not wearing any goddamn…”

Angel’s face was completely deadpan:

“Buffy, can you be sure to send me a picture? I’d love to get it blown up and framed.”

“Both of you can fuck right off.”

Faith began pouting, and Buffy leaned over and kissed her. She refused to reciprocate until Buffy’s hand trailed its way discreetly between her legs. Faith moaned softly, her irritation gone.

“Ahem…Uh, so…”

Buffy blushed:

“…Sorry, Angel.”

“Yeah, Soulboy. Wasn’t trying to give ya a show.”

“Don’t apologize, I’m glad to see you guys so happy. It’s way overdue.”

“Yeah, well ya know how B always drags her feet. Finally got her to come around.”

The meal went well, and they chatted happily for hours like the old friends they were. After a while, Buffy just sat back quietly and enjoyed watching the closeness between the two great loves of her life. It wasn’t often she saw either of them so happy and relaxed, and it was a sight she couldn’t get enough of.

Only Faith could make Angel laugh as if he didn’t have a care in the world, his whole face becoming animated as they teased back and forth. On her part, Faith was totally at ease, her body language making it clear that she trusted him implicitly, her mask and walls nowhere in sight.

Buffy couldn’t believe how far Faith had come. Their relationship had taken time and work and it was still evolving, but Faith had made huge strides in accepting the intimacy that came with being in love.

In the beginning of their one month trial period, Faith still left each night. One week into it, Buffy asked her if she could try to stay, and Faith looked unhappy and apprehensive.

“Stay here…with you?”

“Well yeah, I thought maybe you could see what it’s like.”

“Yeah…guess I could…maybe…for a while.”

So they’d made love and when it was over, Faith stayed for nearly an hour, lying ramrod stiff on her side of the bed. When Buffy finally dared to move closer and lay her hand on Faith’s stomach, she moved away, clearly uncomfortable. After a beat, she started to sit up:

“Faith, please don’t go.”

“Feelin’ sorta closed in.”

“What if I move back over here?”

Buffy slid back to her side of the bed quickly.

“B, think maybe I should just…”

“I can even go further. Look, I’m way over…”

Buffy fell off the bed, landing on the floor with a thud and a crash as she hit the nightstand on her way down.

“Ow.”

She looked up to see Faith peering down at her over the edge of the mattress. She was grinning, her dimples on display and her eyes lit up with the laughter she was trying to stifle.

“You okay?”

“For the most part.”

“So uh…that as far as you can go, B?”

“Yeah, I think that’s it.”

Faith extended her hand and helped Buffy back up onto the bed.

“Ya know it’s weird.”

“What is?”

Faith pulled her down on top of her:

“Was feeling pretty freaked, but then when you were gone, I kinda missed ya.”

Buffy laughed:

“I missed you too.”

They laid there in silence for a few minutes, then Faith began chuckling:

“If you’re gonna do somethin’ funny every time, well no way am I gonna leave.”

“Oh I see, I just need to injure myself to make you stay.”

“What? You sayin’ that’s not normal?”

Buffy squirmed around until she’d managed to place herself between Faith’s legs:

“Hmm…Maybe I didn’t make myself clear before…I don’t give a damn about normal, I just care about you.”

Faith smiled, but then her face became serious:

“B? I’m sorry it’s so…”

“Shhh...You don’t have to apologize or explain. You can go when you need to, I’m fine with that. I was just hoping you could maybe try staying to see how you liked it.”

“Well, turns out it’s not so bad, ‘specially if you’re gonna be stayin’ right there.”

Buffy smiled and began moving in a rather enticing way:

“I think that can be arranged.”

The days seemed to fly by, and Faith found to her great surprise that she could do a lot more than she thought she could. Buffy was easy to be with, so easy that sometimes Faith forgot it was supposed to be an impossible situation. In fact, the only thing that seemed truly impossible was not being insanely happy, pretty much every minute of every day.

Buffy understood what Faith was feeling, sometimes it seemed even before Faith knew that she was feeling it, and she was always extremely patient. She applied no pressure, merely offered up suggestions and took baby steps as she guided them along. Faith knew she was getting sucked in deeper and deeper, but for some reason the gentleness of the trap being laid made it that much easier for her to handle.

She still “freaked” more than either of them liked and had to take off for a while, but she quickly learned to love being cuddled up in bed with Buffy. Instead of feeling trapped, she started feeling safe, safer than she ever had in her entire life. Buffy loved her, there was no doubt about it, and Faith was beginning to see firsthand how that was nothing but a good thing.

By the time the thirty-first day rolled around, Faith knew she wasn’t going anywhere.

“So F, does this mean that maybe you’d be willing to…”

“Means I’m in love with you and I got a lotta shit to learn.”

Buffy picked her up, kissing her again and again as she laughed and yelled with pure happiness.

“I told you we could do it! We’ll just keep plugging away and it’ll all work out, you’ll see. God, I love you, Faith.”

“Yeah? Had no clue.”

That had been a wonderful moment, but Buffy pulled her mind back to the present and back to the beautiful woman who was laughing and swearing as she told Angel some ridiculous story. She was so amazing, so impossibly brave and strong that sometimes Buffy could only shake her head in wonder. This miracle loved her, and Buffy had never been happier.

Yes, they still had problems, Faith still had issues, but they worked on what they could and accepted what they couldn’t change. Faith still sometimes had to leave, but now she usually just left for a few hours, not days, and Buffy knew there was nothing she could say or do that would make that urge disappear completely.

She didn’t like it, but she accepted it and believed that one day it would go away and leave them in peace. And if it didn’t? Well, then they’d deal.

Faith’s past had made her who and what she was, and although Buffy could repair some of the damage, there was no way she could fix it all. She wished she could, but she knew she had to accept her own limitations and more importantly, she had to let Faith be Faith. That was the deal and that was who she wanted anyway.

There was nothing good to be gained by trying to shove Faith into a mold she couldn’t fit into, and Buffy was way too smart to try something so stupid. Besides she wasn’t in the relationship to try and “save” Faith, Faith didn’t need saving. She needed to be loved, and that was something Buffy found extremely easy to provide.

They were happy together, deliriously so, and Buffy knew they had a lifetime to get into whatever they needed to get into. Faith didn’t like to talk about her past, but slowly she was starting to open up a little. Buffy wanted to know everything of course, but she could wait. Pushing Faith was not the answer, it would never be the answer, and Buffy knew that.

She loved Faith and she was there for her, whenever and however she was needed. Faith was gradually getting more comfortable with sharing her feelings, and Buffy knew it was only a matter of time before she totally confided in her. One day she would learn what the nightmares were about, she would learn what traumas had occurred in Faith’s childhood that had made her who she was. She would wait patiently, loving what Faith gave her now and every step along the way, and she would hope that “somewhere down the line” came sooner rather than later.

Faith ordered coffee for the three of them, and when it arrived, Buffy could sense her nervousness. Obviously it was time to bring up the subject of the big move, and Faith took a sip of her drink and then just went for it:

“So Angel…wanna talk to ya about something.”

“Sounds serious.”

“Well yeah, kinda. But not ‘bad’ serious, just something you’re gonna wanna think over.”

“Okay.”

“Me and B were talking, and we want ya to move here.”

Angel looked stunned, which as Buffy remembered looked a lot like his normal expression, unless you knew how to look at him.

“’Move here’?”

“Look, don’t answer right away, okay? Let me give ya the advantages.”

Faith was talking a mile a minute, holding onto Buffy’s hand tightly for support.

“…and we could really use you. We’ve got all these untrained Slayers just pouring in, and Giles needs a guy like you on the business end.”

“Giles wants me to move here?”

“Yeah, I mean he’s not against it. And you’d be great with the new girls, could give’em the vamp side of things, ya know? No way to beat that kinda training.”

He stirred a spoon around in his untouched coffee before answering:

“I don’t know, I mean I’ve got things set up in…”

“C’mon, Soulboy. We could really use you here, and you’d…”

“I can’t just pick up and move. I’ve got a life there, Faith.”

She wanted to put it delicately, but the stubborn look on his face caused her to say it straight:

“Angel, what the fuck do you really have? You’re all alone in some dumpy rat hole, beatin’ the shit outta yourself every day ‘cause you think you got everybody killed.”

He visibly flinched, and Buffy quickly spoke up:

“What Faith means is that we’d like it if you were here. We miss you and there’s a space you could fill. It’s not good for you to be alone, and we’re kind of concerned about you.”

“…Look, I’m fine. I’m doing good work and I don’t think…”

Faith wasn’t buying it:

“What about the guilt thing?”

And then he was pissed:

“I think maybe you’d better back off now.”

“Yeah, well ya got that all fucked up too. I know what I’m talkin’ about, and you know I do. You can puff up and try to look all tough and scary, but I’m not stopping. Shoulda said this shit a long time ago.”

Buffy tried to get her to slow down, but Faith shrugged her off:

“You didn’t kill Gunn or Fred or Spike or Wes or the blue chick, and you sure as shit didn’t kill Cordelia and Connor.”

Angel tossed some bills on the table and slid his chair back:

“It was good to see both of you again.”

“Soulboy, you try and walk outta here, I’m gonna try and make you stay.”

“That’s your choice.”

Buffy stood up first before he could fully rise to his feet, her hand on his shoulder forcing him gently, but firmly back into his seat.

“Angel, I know this is hard, but please at least promise us you’ll think about moving here.”

He looked her in the eye, and for a minute it was just like old times. She could read him perfectly, knew exactly how he was feeling, and her heart ached for him:

“There’s nothing to think about, Buffy. I know you guys mean well, but I don’t…”

“You’re so full of shit. Christ, why’d I ever buy any of your crap? What about what you told me, huh? That it’s never over for us, that we gotta fight for redemption every single day?”

It was like she’d flipped a switch. Angel was furious and Buffy stayed where she was, ready to restrain him if she had to.

“I am fighting for redemption!”

“By running out, saving somebody in the night, then hauling your gutless ass back to your hole in the ground? You’re supposed to be a hero, you’re ‘Angel’, for fuck’s sake! Instead you keep torturing yourself for something that’s not even your fault, and what? I’m supposed to just keep my mouth shut and act like I don’t see it? Well fuck you, Angel.”

She stood up and leapt over the railing, landing lightly on the sidewalk. She never looked back as she walked off in the direction of the car, at least that’s where Buffy hoped she was headed.

Angel sat there saying nothing, and Buffy waited a minute before she spoke up:

“She loves you, Angel.”

“I know that.”

“What you’re doing to yourself isn’t good.”

His silence was his answer, so she reached out and took his hand in hers:

“I love you too.”

“I know you do.”

“We’re worried about you, and I think maybe we should be.”

He raised her hand to his lips:

“Yeah, I guess maybe you should.”

She sat down in the chair next to his, saying nothing. They kept holding hands as they stared up at the moon, letting the night breeze wash over them.

“Buffy, I can’t risk getting attached to new people. I have to go it alone now, it’s the only way I can make it through.”

“I get that Angel, really I do…but that’s totally wrong. You told me yourself you had that same attitude when you first went to L.A. and that it took Doyle to get you to see just how dangerous…”

“They’re dead, Buffy! D-E-A-D! Every last one of them, even Doyle with his bright and shiny connection to The Powers. Great advice he had to give, just perfect.”

They sat silently until Buffy broke the uncomfortable truce:

“I wonder how far gone you must be to be so self-centered.”

“What?”

“Or is it just because you don’t talk to anyone anymore, and you’ve forgotten how to consider someone else?”

“What are you talking about?”

Her voice was calm, but her eyes were blazing with anger:

“Jesse, Ford, Ms. Calender, Angel, Faith, Mom, Tara, Anya, Spike, so many Potentials and assorted friends I was supposed to protect and save. I’ve even died three times myself, and you’re going to talk to me like I don’t know how it feels to lose people I care about?”

The shame on his face did not take long in arriving:

“I’m sorry, Buffy. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“But that’s just the thing, Angel. You did mean it like that. You’ve gotten so wrapped up in your guilt and pain, you can’t see anything else. And that’s where the danger is, because the more you remove yourself from the world and the people in it, the easier it is for you to treat us like we don’t really matter, like our petty little lives mean nothing compared to yours.”

They were quiet again, and this time it was Angel who eventually broke the silence:

“All right, I’ll think about it. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to give it a try. I’m not promising anything though, we’ll have to see.”

“That sounds fair.”

“Could you tell Faith I’m sorry?”

They headed outside, his hand still firmly grasped in hers.

“You should tell her yourself. Come by tomorrow before you leave town.”

He looked uncertain:

“I could, but I don’t want…”

“I’ll talk to her. There won’t be a big scene, I promise.”

“Okay, good. I hate it when we fight, and I really don’t want to leave it like this between us.”

“Want to come for lunch?”

“That’d be perfect. I need to be on the road by 2:00.”

They lingered on the sidewalk, reluctant to part.

“You’re good for her, Buffy. I’ve never seen her so happy.”

“Well she’s more than returning the favor.”

He smiled, the rare one that made him look like a goofy little boy.

“It’s great you guys found your way to each other. Makes me believe in miracles.”

“Me too. I have no idea how I got so lucky, but I’m not asking any questions.”

“You really look beautiful, Buffy. Like you’ve finally found what you were always searching for.”

“I have, there’s no doubt about it. What I’d like now is to see that happen for you.”

His smile was gone, but he gave her a small laugh:

“I don’t think the odds are very good on that one.”

“Hey, you just said you believe in miracles. You can’t change your mind that fast.”

“No, I guess I can’t. Okay, you’d better catch up to Faith before she gets herself into a street brawl.”

“Sure you don’t want us to help you out tonight?”

He gave her a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek:

“I think you already did.”

“I meant with your case.”

“No, just doing some surveillance, but thanks for the offer. Besides, I’m sure you two have other, much better plans.”

“A lady never kisses and tells. So we’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be there.”

He gave her another kiss:

“Can you give that one to Faith for me?”

“First thing when I see her.”

“Thanks. Goodnight, Buffy.”

She watched as he strode off, disappearing into the darkness like the creature of the night he was. His sadness was a hard thing to witness, but she was confident that they could get him to move. Faith was right, he desperately needed to be around people who loved and cared about him.

When she got back to the car, Faith was sitting on it, and somehow she was doing it violently. She was seated, leaning against the windshield with her arms folded behind her head and her legs stretched out in front of her on the hood. She looked to be the very picture of relaxation as she stared up at the night sky, but Buffy could see she was poised to strike out in an instant.

“Hey, I’m back.”

“…Yeah, so I see.”

Buffy walked over to the driver’s side of the car and stood there waiting.

“He alright?”

“Yes. He’s coming over for lunch tomorrow.”

She leaned in and kissed Faith on the cheek:

“He told me to give you that.”

“…Guess I shouldn’t have walked off.”

Buffy said nothing until Faith met her eyes:

“Probably not, but I guess it was better than staying there and punching him.”

“I just…I just didn’t know what to do, ya know? He’s so tough on himself, and losing everybody…Well, he can’t keep shouldering the blame.”

“I know. We’ll get him to move here, and that will help a lot. Don’t worry, he can’t fight us both and win.”

Faith smiled and sat up on the edge of the car, her legs dangling on either side of Buffy.

“How’s it you can always make me feel better?”

“Because I’m your girl and I love you.”

Faith leaned down and kissed her tenderly.

“Bet your ass you are.”

She tried to straighten up, but Buffy pulled her head back down and delivered a much more passionate kiss, one that left them both a little dazed.

“So what do you say, F? Wanna go home and make love all night long?”

“Hmm…Yeah, okay, if I gotta.”

She jumped down, pulling Buffy as close to her as she could:

“B?”

“Uh-huh?”

“You make my whole life worth living. Never imagined I could be this happy.”

Buffy felt the tears welling up:

“I love you so much, Faith.”

Buffy suddenly found herself being hoisted into the air, then dumped unceremoniously into the passenger seat.

“Hold that thought ‘til we get home!”

Buffy smile was full of promise:

“Hmm…Yeah, okay, if I gotta.”

Faith grinned as she revved the engine:

“Yeah B, ya gotta.”

“Then consider it done, F.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

Faith was so happy, she could barely stand it. Angel had agreed to move, and the plan was already in motion. He only needed to wrap-up the case he was working on, and then he was “Slayer Central” bound.

The lunch two months ago had gone well, both of them sorry and shrugging off the other’s apology as unnecessary. Buffy had been on guard, but just minutes into it, she was able to relax. They were clearly not going to come to blows.

The only tenuous moment came when they discussed Angel’s living quarters.

“I’m thinking the basement will be just fine.”

Faith snorted:

“No. No basement.”

“I am a vampire, Faith. Exposure to sunlight’s not exactly an option.”

“You’re gonna be in the suite at the end of the hall. Giles already called to get that fancy vamp-proof glass ya had at Wolfram’s.”

He looked uncomfortable:

“That stuff’s really expensive and I don’t want to throw anyone out of their room.”

“Nice try, Soulboy. Council’s footin’ the bill, and nobody was in there anyway. Was just Giles’ little mini-library, and he’s moving some of it into his room and the rest back into the main bookworm headquarters.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Not haulin’ your ass outta one hole just to see you jam it back into another. We need you up here, involved and helping out. ‘Sides, can always stick a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign up when ya gotta. Never know, somebody might pay it some attention.”

He laughed and sat back:

“Somehow I sense I don’t have much say on this issue.”

“Nope, but I’ll let ya win on somethin’ else somewhere down the line.”

So it was settled and now his personal belongings had finally begun arriving. Faith, Buffy, Willow, and Kennedy had spent the morning moving boxes up to his room, unpacking and arranging his things how they thought he might like them.

Buffy placed the ugliest vase Faith had ever seen on top of the bookcase, then stood back to admire it:

“How’s that look?”

“Like we oughta smash it to bits.”

“It’s not that bad. The color is kind of pretty.”

“B, looks like somebody puked it up. It sucks.”

Buffy laughed:

“Well he must like it, otherwise he wouldn’t have packed it.”

“See what I was sayin’ about him bein’ alone? Guy’s lost all sense of taste. Is this one still full?”

She bent down to look in the unflattened box, and grinned when she discovered it was already empty. When she straightened up, Buffy was right behind her, wrapping her arms around Faith’s waist and kissing her neck as she snuggled into her back:

“Hope you’re not getting worn out. I have plans for us tonight.”

“Not even close, B. Just bored outta my fuckin’ mind.”

Kennedy entered the room, carrying four boxes stacked high. Willow was instructing her where to go since she couldn’t see a thing in front of her:

“Straight ahead, honey. I’ll go see what’s left.”

Buffy and Faith stood watching, and Kennedy finally spoke up:

“Hello? Little help here.”

“Looks like ya got it under control, Trust Fund.”

“Ha, ha. Buffy?”

“I’m here, Kennedy.”

Kennedy rolled her eyes:

“Would one of you grab a couple?”

“Why, they heavy?”

“They’re books, Faith. What do you think?”

“Try not to, that’s why I steer clear of reading. Better ask Red about it when she gets back.”

Buffy’s smile was apparent in her voice:

“And I’d love to help, Ken, but I’ve got my hands full.”

Kennedy slowly and carefully turned until she could see them:

“Full of Faith.”

“Well, can you blame me?”

“Yeah, you sayin’ something’s wrong with her coppin’ a feel?”

“Would one of you please take a couple of boxes?”

Buffy seemed to be pondering things intensely:

“Hmm…What do you think, F? I mean, she did say ‘please’.”

“Fuck, I don’t know. Read somewhere ya coddle kids, they grow up to be spoiled brats.”

“Well I don’t think we have to worry about that…”

“Thank you, Buffy.”

“…since she’s already the biggest brat we know.”

“Guys, come on!”

Buffy lifted the top two, and Faith grabbed the remaining ones.

“There ya go, Silver Spoon. You just relax while the little people do all the dirty work.”

They headed over to the built-in bookshelves and stacked the boxes on the floor. Faith whipped out the knife she was using as a box cutter, and sliced them open with a few practiced flicks of her wrist. Kennedy sprawled in a nearby chair, casually looking around:

“Wow, he’s sure got a lot of books.”

“Yeah, Soulboy likes to read. Guess it comes from being cooped up all day.”

“So Willow gave me a general idea, but what’s he really like?”

Faith was cursing as Buffy handed her some more irregular-sized books from the nearest box:

“Damn, gotta rearrange this whole shelf again.”

Buffy glanced at Kennedy and smiled:

“Angel is…Well, he’s Angel. He’s kind of hard to describe.”

“Try.”

Buffy handed Faith some more books, but she wasn’t taking them.

“Look, how ‘bout a break? I’ll run down, grab us some drinks and see what’s takin’ Red all damn day to get her ass back up here.”

She didn’t wait for a response, kissing the top of Buffy’s head as she made her escape.

“How long do you think before we see her again?”

Kennedy laughed:

“Hard to say. It doesn’t look good since we’ve already lost Willow.”

“Well, let’s hope for the best.”

She started unpacking another box, and Kennedy moved to help her.

“So?”

“’So’ what?”

“You were going to tell me about Angel.”

Buffy smiled:

“Yes, I was. Let’s see…You’ll like him, eventually. Faith adores him and…”

“Yeah, she told me what he did for her.”

Buffy’s smile faded as she thought back:

“He saved her when no one else gave a damn…not even me.”

Kennedy patted her arm sympathetically:

“Hey, from what Faith says, that wasn’t your fault.”

“That’s because Faith loves me and takes everything on herself. It was my fault, at least a big part of it was. I was such an idiot back then.”

“But the past is the past, Buffy. You love her now, so none of that really matters anymore. I know for a fact it doesn’t to Faith, so you should just try and let it go. You guys are so right together, whatever you went through was worth it to get to where you are now.”

Buffy’s smile was back and she gave Kennedy a hug:

“Thanks, Ken.”

“Besides, you’re still an idiot in general, so…”

They both laughed and began unpacking the books again.

“Anyway, Angel’s a good man. He’s hard to get to know at first, he doesn’t talk that much, but he’s the best friend you can have. You’ll see.”

“So he’s not too much like Spike then?”

“No, not at all and trust me, they’d both be the first to tell you that.”

They worked silently for a while, placing the books on the shelves at random because they knew that Faith would sort them out properly, if and when she came back.

“Buffy?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Don’t answer if I’m out of line, but aren’t you even a little worried?”

“About?”

“About Angel and you, and you and Faith, and Faith and Angel?”

“’Worried’? No, not at all. Why?”

“It’s just that…well, you know.”

Buffy slid the last group of books onto the shelf and stood up:

“What Angel and I had was so long ago, I’m completely over it and so is he. I mean, I love him, I always will, but what I feel for Faith is so far past anything I ever felt for him. He was my first love, but she’s my soul mate, and he knows that. So does she. We’re all okay with everything.”

“Cool. It’s weird, but cool.”

“Well, that’s what happens when you start relationships on top of a Hellmouth.”

“I have to agree with you on that one. I mean, I did meet my wife there, so…”

“You bitches ever gonna take a hint? We’re hangin’ on the patio!”

Faith’s voice came booming in from the top of the stairs.

“Boy, your soul mate’s sure a charmer.”

“She does have a way about her.”

Faith came sauntering in:

“C’mon! Red’s got a huge spread ready, and I’m starvin’.”

Her arm wrapped around Buffy’s waist, pulling her close while Kennedy looked excited at the thought of food:

“I could definitely eat. Hey, did Will make…”

“Got all your faves, Ken. Go check it out.”

Kennedy took the hint, winking at Buffy as she headed for the stairs. Faith barely waited for her to clear the doorway before she asked:

“So, what were you guys talkin’ about?”

“This and that.”

Faith waited, but when it was obvious no more was forthcoming, she turned Buffy to face her. Her other arm went around her waist as well, her hands locking at the small of Buffy’s back.

“That’s all you’re gonna tell me, ‘this and that’?”

“Well, and that and this.”

“You’re such a little shit.”

Faith pulled her into a kiss, her tongue exploring and probing until Buffy sighed and moved closer. She nibbled slowly down her neck until she hit one of Buffy’s hotspots, and it took only a second before she was clinging tightly to Faith, causing them to brush together at some very interesting points.

“Damn Blondie, wish we had more time.”

“Don’t we?”

Faith shook her head and carefully kept her hands on Buffy’s shoulders as she painfully steered them towards the door.

“No. Gotta eat, then Giles wants a meeting. Some boring shit about something.”

“Wow, you’ve really got a handle on it.”

“Well fuck, B, he went on about it for like twenty hours. Let me put it this way, he’s all excited, okay?”

“Enough said.”

The stairs loomed in front of them, and they hesitated.

“Can always eat during the meeting.”

“Uh-huh.”

“No sense lettin’ opportunities just fly by us.”

“None at all.”

They headed to their room, kissing and groping and laughing all the way.

“You’re such a tease, B.”

“Me? I didn’t even do anything!”

They stumbled through the door and Faith locked it behind her without looking.

“You’re being you, guess that’s enough.”

“Mmm…flattery will get you everywhere.”

“Only one place I wanna get, least for now.”

They quickly stripped off their clothes, leaving a trail leading straight into their bedroom. Buffy tossed her bra aside and shoved Faith backwards onto the bed.

“Sorry, but you’re going to have to wait your turn.”

“No way! Was my idea, so I…”

The girlish squeak eeked its way out of her as Buffy’s mouth latched on and her fingers thrust in.

“Jesus B, ever heard of foreplay?”

Buffy looked up, the grin on her face nothing but sexy:

“What do you call unpacking boxes? Now shhh…I’m eating out for lunch.”

*************************

They were late for the meeting, and Giles was not pleased. They were also each carrying a plate loaded with food into his office, another non-happy Giles event.

“Pardon me, might I ask why you’re bringing food into my office?”

“Didn’t get lunch, G-Man.”

“Gee, I wonder why that is?”

Kennedy’s cocky grin turned into a wince of pain when Willow’s elbow found its target, and she decided to keep the rest of her comments to herself.

Buffy ignored her and concentrated on giving Giles her most winning smile. Just as it had from the very beginning, it made him soften, and she brought the deal home by saying:

“We didn’t want to be any later, so we thought we’d eat while we met.”

“All right, Buffy, if you must. But do be careful, I’ve some irreplaceable documents spread about and…”

Faith plopped down, her mouth already full of her sandwich:

“Geez, not like we’re pigs or somethin’.”

“The fact that I can barely decipher what you’re saying seems to belie the veracity of that statement.”

Faith grinned and took a huge swig of her beer:

“Could say the same about you, and you don’t even got food in your mouth.”

His face didn’t change expression, but his eyes revealed his amusement:

“Yes, quite. And do not even consider placing that bottle down on any surface in this room.”

“What about on those scrolls over there?”

“Perhaps I should warn you, I’ve yet to finalize next week’s assignments.”

She sat up straight and turned on the charm:

“Hey G-Man, maybe we oughta get this meeting started. I was just tellin’ B how fascinating it was gonna be.”

“Oh yes, I’m sure you were.”

Buffy nodded vigorously:

“She was, Giles. And boy, I can hardly wait.”

He sat down behind his desk with a smile and began the meeting.

“It seems we’ve somewhat of a problem. I’ll be asking for input from each of you after I’ve finished my summary, so please pay attention.”

Faith zoned out almost immediately. Buffy was sitting in a chair with her leg flung over one of the arms, and she was slowly swinging it back and forth.

It was mesmerizing, at least to Faith, and she kept remembering what it felt like to have that soft, delicate, yet powerful leg wrapped around her waist as she…

“Faith!”

“What?!”

“Did I or did I not ask you to pay attention?”

“I was.”

He stared at her, clearly not believing a word she said:

“Really?”

“Yeah, just not to you.”

“Well that’s just splendid, truly.”

Buffy broke in before they could really get going:

“I’m with Will on this. We can try it the easy way first and if that doesn’t work, we’ll just have to get our hands dirty.”

Giles shuffled some papers around on his desk until he found what he was looking for:

“According to Xander’s report, we’ve nearly three weeks before action must be taken.”

Kennedy piped up:

“Then let’s go the easy route, it might work. If it doesn’t, I’m volunteering to do the hard part. Rona and Vi will be home by then, and I know they’ll help out.”

Willow chipped in, all enthusiastic and upbeat:

“And I’ll help too, Giles. I don’t think with the four of us on the job, it’ll be too tough to get it done either way.”

He smiled with relief:

“Thank you, girls. I must say this puts my mind at ease. Xander has indicated that he can be done on his end in a day or two, so perhaps you could discuss the particulars with him.”

The phone rang, and he excused himself to answer it. Faith leaned over and whispered to Buffy:

“So B, what the hell are we talkin’ about?”

“Some plumbing problem. There was some structural damage, and the repairs are expensive.”

“Oh. Fuck, am I glad I didn’t volunteer. Thought it was a demon thing.”

Giles was trying to get their attention as he scribbled some notes:

“No, of course it’s no bother at all, and I’m certain Willow will assist me with the research.”

He glanced at her, and she was already nodding excitedly.

“Yes, they’re both here. I understand. Hold one moment, please.”

He turned to Buffy and Faith:

“It’s Angel. He needs to speak with one of you.”

Buffy was closer, so she took the phone from his hand.

“Hi, Angel. What’s going on?”

They all listened intently to Buffy’s side of the conversation:

“Uh-huh…uh-huh. Don’t be silly. So which one of us do you prefer, and keep in mind I’ve been a Slayer the longest and…Oh…Right, sure. We’ll leave within the hour. Okay, see you soon.”

She handed the phone back to the Giles and said nothing until he’d placed it in the cradle.

“What’s the sitch, B?”

“He’s got a problem, a big problem, and he needs back-up.”

Willow said what they were all thinking:

“It’s so big, he needs both of you?”

“Apparently. He said he was just being careful, but he sounded pretty worried.”

Faith rose to her feet:

“Okay then, let’s motor and you can fill me in on the way.”

Kennedy stood as well:

“Guys, why don’t I come with you? The more Slayers, the merrier.”

Buffy smiled gratefully at her:

“Thanks Ken, but it’s one of those deals where the less people involved, the better. Even if they are Slayers.”

“Willow, if you wouldn’t mind, would you please…”

She was already headed for the computer across the room:

“I’m on it, Giles…Well, I am as soon as you tell me what it is I’m looking for.”

He spun around to the bookshelves behind his desk, looking intently for the volumes he needed.

“Buffy, Faith, check in before you leave on the off chance we miraculously have something useful to impart. In any case, I believe we’ll have something before you arrive at Angel’s, so please make sure you each have a fully charged phone.”

Buffy was in total Slayer mode:

“Will do. Kennedy, would you make sure we’ve got a full tank?”

“Sure. The bike or the car.”

“The car. We’re going to be taking some weapons.”

“On my way.”

“Thanks.”

She headed for the garage and Buffy turned back to Giles:

“Faith and I will get packed, then stop by before we take off.”

He barely glanced up from the book he was busy thumbing through as he walked over to where Willow sat waiting:

”Willow and I shall be here.”

The Slayers headed up the stairs without talking. When they entered their room, Buffy pulled down two large duffel bags, and Faith flung open their weapons chest.

“So what do we need, B?”

“He’s not sure, so I guess we need to take a little bit of everything.”

Buffy tossed her the larger bag, and Faith began packing a deadly assortment of weapons while Buffy busied herself with collecting enough clothes for both of them.

“You gonna give me the skinny here?”

“He was pretty vague, and that in itself scares me. He’s been dealing with this gang of demons, but he’s not sure what kind. They’re trying to raise some dead guy to cause an apocalypse and take over the world, and they need to sacrifice Angel’s client to make that dream a reality. He’s been protecting him, but they finally found them two days ago.”

“’Two days ago’? Why didn’t he call us before? He okay?””

Buffy flung a wrinkled shirt aside with a look of irritation:

“He says he is, but he sounded kind of shook up. He was out of it for almost a day, as in ‘unconscious’ out of it, but he thinks he found them this morning. The word on the street is that the ritual is supposed to take place tomorrow night, and there are way too many of them for him to handle alone.”

Faith closed the bag and carried it over to the bed.

“So that’s where we come in.”

“Yes. The goal is to snatch the guy and hide him out for a few days. They can only do the ritual within a certain time period and once that passes, the world is safe and secure again…at least until next time.”

“Why can’t we just kill the fuckers? Not much for running and hiding.”

Buffy zipped up her bag and tossed it next to the weapons, then wrapped her arms around Faith.

“Well tough girl, Angel thinks there are about fifty of them.”

“Fuck it, I can take’em.”

Buffy kissed her:

“Sorry, this is strictly a ‘rescue, flee for our lives, and guard’ mission only.”

Faith looked sad:

“…Can we maybe kill a few during the ‘rescue’ part?”

“Maybe if you do it quietly, you’ll have to ask Angel.”

“How ‘bout during the ‘hauling ass’ part?”

Buffy smiled and kissed the tip of her nose:

“You know if it were up to me, you could kill them at will.”

“Well for sure some of’em during the ‘guarding’ part.”

Buffy laughed at the hopeful look on her girlfriend’s face:

“Angel’s counting on them not finding us. He says they’re really tough.”

“Aw, c’mon, B. Ya know what a big pussy Soulboy is. I say we can take’em.”

“Faith, are you going to behave?”

She grinned at Buffy, placing one hand between the blonde girl’s legs while the other found the back of her neck to pull her closer:

“Hell, no.”

“Mmm…Good.”

CHAPTER NINE

The metallic blue ’65 Thunderbird glided down the highway, its totally restored engine fairly purring as it ate up the miles. Buffy was staring out the passenger window, her bare feet resting comfortably on the dashboard as Faith drove expertly, well over the speed limit.

About an hour ago they’d received a call from Giles. He’d had information for them, but it was the kind that ruled things out instead of ruling anything in.

“Buffy, Giles here.”

“Giles? ‘Giles’ who?”

“Really Buffy, is this the time for making jokes?”

“Probably not, but what else can I do when you identify yourself?”

He didn’t bother to hide his irritation:

“It’s called ‘good manners’, something which I’m sorry to say seems to be severely lacking in this country.”

“Oh, I see. So it’s considered polite to attack my native land, a native land you now call ‘home’?”

“I am not attacking, merely…Oh for God’s sake, may we please stay on topic?”

She grinned at Faith, then decided to take pity on him:

“Okay, what do you guys have?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure. I must admit I’m not all that familiar with Conatal demons, but what Willow and I have turned up…well this is all very peculiar.”

“How so?”

“Everything we’ve uncovered seems to indicate that they do not involve themselves in matters like this. They’re a very insular group, preferring to stay in the shadows and busy themselves with their own affairs. They rarely, if ever, let themselves be drawn into situations of this magnitude.”

Buffy glanced at Faith and whispered:

“Don’t know yet.”

She then spoke clearly into the phone:

“Well according to Angel, this time they’re as involved as you can get.”

“Yes, I understand that and it makes very little sense.”

“So are these guys evil?”

“They’re certainly not good, although they don’t usually attack humans, at least not those that will be easily missed. They’re extremely skilled fighters but rarely organize, not unless they have an exceptionally strong leader or it’s time for their…”

She could hear him shuffling papers as he looked for the information.

“…Ah yes, here it is…their ‘Taldion’.”

“And that is?”

“Put simply, it’s almost like a celebration. It comes around once every hundred years or so.”

“And what, we’re the lucky ones because now’s the right time?”

He sounded completely frustrated:

“But that’s just the thing, Buffy, it’s not.”

“Huh?”

“Yes, my sentiments exactly. Willow and I have checked every available source, and it is not the proper time, not even close.”

“Again with the ‘Huh?’”

She could hear papers shuffling again:

“Willow is attempting to obtain some information from her connections…”

Buffy sat up straight then, alarmed at what Willow might be doing.

“What connections? Giles, you know how she gets carried away. Did Kennedy at least go with her?”

“Hmm? Oh, sorry, no cause for alarm. Just her Wiccan associates and assorted demon friends. She’s already returned and is on the phone tracking down a few leads.”

She relaxed and leaned back again:

“Good.”

“Don’t worry about us, things are quite well, our lack of cogent information notwithstanding. And you and Faith?”

“We’re fine, we’re making good time.”

He was no longer distracted, his presence reassuring as it sounded in her ear:

“And where exactly are you two?”

“I don’t know. Faith, where are we?”

“Got about two, two and a half hours if the traffic and lack of cops holds.”

“We’re about…”

There was a smile in his voice:

“Yes, I heard her. I doubt I truly wish to know just how far over the speed limit, she is in fact, driving.”

Before Buffy could answer, Faith spoke up:

“Oh, and tell Grandpa we don’t got all day to get there.”

“I heard that as well. You may inform my dear granddaughter I shall firm up next week’s schedule with her insults solidly in mind. Expect to find yourselves on…”

“Giles? Giles? Your…aking up! Bad…co…ec…tion. Can’t…a…you said.”

Faith looked over at her alarmed and mouthed:

“Newbie patrol?”

Buffy nodded as she continued to pretend she was losing the signal.

“Lovely, Buffy. I particularly enjoy when you scratch your fingernails across the mouthpiece.”

“Can’t hear…back later.”

“We shall as soon as we learn anything else. Please let us know when you arrive.”

“We will. Bye, Giles.”

She disconnected the call and turned her full attention to Faith:

“Why do you always have to tease him?”

“Hey, you started yanking his chain. Just followin’ your lead.”

Buffy smacked her lightly on the shoulder:

“If we get Newbie patrol all of next week, I’m going to kill you.”

“So, they got any info worth knowin’?”

“Not really. Giles has no idea why these demons are acting the way they are. He says they usually stick to themselves, and it’s not time for them to do this ‘together’ thing they occasionally do.”

“But they’re doin’ it.”

Buffy slid over closer to her, half sitting on the middle arm rest:

“They definitely are. Angel said they’re really good fighters, and Giles confirmed that, so this bonding deal isn’t exactly in our best interests.”

“Well, I don’t give a shit why they’re doin’ what they’re doin’. Just want’em to stop.”

“I’m with you there. Maybe Angel will have some more details when we see him.”

“Somebody better. What do we got left to eat?”

Buffy looked in the bag.

“Chips, all of the fruit and granola bars Will packed for us…and one Snickers bar.”

“Just one?”

“Yep…Can I have it?”

“The whole bar?”

“I’m dying for it.”

Her hand began blazing a trail along Faith’s thigh.

“But B…”

“Please?”

Just one word whispered into Faith’s ear, and the candy bar was lost.

“Okay…but if it was anybody but Soulboy we were rushing to rescue, I’d be pulling over and makin’ ya earn it.”

Buffy laughed and slid back over to her side of the car.

“I wouldn’t mind that.”

She tore open the Snickers, peeled back the wrapper, and then hesitated as she looked at it.

“Okay, I feel kinda bad about hogging it. Want a bite?”

“Yeah, that’d be good.”

Buffy held it out to her:

“Here.”

Faith’s bite took more than three fourths of the candy bar, and Buffy couldn’t pull it away fast enough to save it.

“Faith!”

She couldn’t respond, not when she had so much chocolatey goodness in her mouth and a huge grin threatening to make her drool it down onto her lap.

“Give that back!”

But there was nothing Buffy could do except watch while Faith chewed and swallowed with some difficulty.

“Damn, that’s the best candy bar ever made…yeah, B?”

“I wouldn’t know, you ate it all.”

“Why ya bitchin’? Got some right there in your hand.”

“You are such a pig.”

Faith smirked and wiggled her eyebrows:

“Teach ya to offer.”

Buffy popped the bite size remainder into her mouth:

“Fine, be all smug, but you will definitely pay for that later.”

“Wow, you sure are scary, Slayer.”

“Yes I am, you’ve just forgotten, is all. I’m going to be happy to remind you.”

Faith laughed:

“Mind giving me a kiss for now?”

“Why should I?”

“’Cause I taste like chocolate.”

Buffy leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek:

“That’s all you get because I’m mad at you.”

“Aww…eat a banana and some of that delicious granola, baby. That’ll cheer ya up.”

“Ha, ha.”

They drove in a comfortable silence for a while with no sound except the low rumble of the engine and the radio playing softly. Buffy leaned her head back against the headrest as she thought about the woman next to her.

Faith had given her everything: love, understanding, the best sex ever invented, and so much happiness she could barely stand it.

“Whatcha smilin’ at, B?”

“What?”

“You’re grinning like a nut. What for?”

Buffy linked their hands:

“I’m grinning at how happy you’ve made me.

“Damn, I must be hot shit, ‘cause a smile like that’s pretty amazing.”

“You get what you earn, F.”

Faith smiled big then:

“Works for me.”

“Me too.”

A song came on the radio that Faith loved and she cranked it and sang along, complete with the rhythmic pounding of her hands on the steering wheel. There was no point in talking until the song ended, and when it did, Faith turned down the radio:

“Hey B, how come we’ve never run across these demons before?”

“Giles says they tend to avoid most humans, so I guess that means Slayers too.”

“Makes sense, ‘cept it doesn’t. I mean, why are they goin’ totally against their grain? Not often somebody’ll just change their way.”

“It’s a mystery, for sure. Will and Giles are still trying to figure it out, Angel too. Somebody should have something helpful soon.”

“I’m just hopin’ we can beat the shit outta some of’em. Not gonna be as fun if we can’t.”

“I’ve got my fingers crossed for you.”

They pulled up alongside the curb in front of Angel’s place in just over two hours. Faith turned off the ignition and shook her head in disgust as she looked at the building:

“Man, once a dive, always a dive.”

“It’s definitely not the homiest place I’ve ever seen.”

“Gotta tell ya, B, best thing we ever did is gettin’ him clear of here.”

Buffy smiled as they got out of the car and headed for the door:

“Agreed. Wow, it’s even worse than I remembered, no wonder he’s been so…”

The front door swung open to reveal a smiling Angel:

“Now here’s a sight for sore eyes! My very own Slayer cavalry.”

“Yeah, came to clean up your mess, Soulboy.”

They hugged and then it was Buffy’s turn:

“Two Slayers, at your service, sir.”

Then went in and Angel locked the door carefully before following them into the room he used as a living area.

“Sorry for the sparseness. Most of my stuff’s already been shipped.”

“Don’t we know it. Spent all day unloading your shit for ya.”

He looked at her with a slight frown:

“You didn’t have to do that.”

Faith dropped down onto the couch:

“Now you tell us. B, when ya call to check-in, tell Red and Ken to put his stuff back into the boxes.”

Angel laughed:

“Hey now, none of that. Just leave it all right where it is. So are you guys hungry?”

“Not me. We ate junk all the way here and I’m still a little ‘blah’.”

“Faith?”

“Nah, but wouldn’t say ‘no’ to a beer.”

He opened the small refrigerator that was tucked into a corner and peered in:

“Sorry, just blood. I didn’t have a chance to go shopping.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m good. So what’s the sitch?”

He sat down heavily in the only easy chair, rubbing his hands over his face.

“I’ve been researching all day, but I haven’t come up with a thing. I just got off the phone with Giles about an hour ago, and if he’s baffled, well I doubt I’m going to have much success.”

”Yeah, if G-Man and Red are lost, no way are we gonna be found.”

Buffy looked around.

“Angel, which phone’s still…”

“It’s in my office.”

“Yeah B, right over there. Most of us call it a ‘closet’, but Soulboy’s got him a good imagination.”

Angel feigned irritation:

“It worked out okay.”

Buffy walked in and hit the light switch, illuminating Angel’s office closet. She squeezed between the wall and the desk and sat down, already reaching for the phone. Willow answered on the second ring:

“Hello?”

“Will, it’s just me. We’re here, anything new to report?”

Willow’s voice was both excited and worried:

“Yes and no.”

“Okay, that’s unique. What’s the story?”

“The Conatal demons are acting completely out of character. It doesn’t make any sense at all, no matter how we look at it. But, and this is a big ‘but’…my sources say there’s a new big cheese in town.”

“And?”

“And nothing else, not really. I’m still trying to get a line on what kind of cheese it is, a name, a classification, anything that would help us research it. So far it’s all kind of vague, but I’m expecting a call pretty soon.”

Buffy stretched her arms above her head and smiled at the laughter drifting in from the other room.

“Okay. I don’t know Angel’s plan yet, but we should be here for a while longer. Call us when you get something, here or on our phones.”

“We will. So how’s Angel?”

“He’s good, but he seems kind of tense and on edge.”

“I guess having tough warrior demons to battle and an apocalypse to stop, could stress anybody out.”

“Yep, no argument here. I should go. We haven’t discussed anything about anything, and Faith is anxious to find out if she can fight any of the bad guys.”

Willow laughed:

“I’ll keep a good thought for her. You guys be careful.”

“We will, don’t worry. Talk to you later.”

She headed back to the living area to find Angel and Faith standing side by side as they looked down at a map.

“This isn’t the right one either. Maybe it’s in this stack.”

He headed over to a large pile on an end table and began shuffling through it with increasing impatience.

“Faith, could you check upstairs? I have a million by my bed.”

“Sure.”

She went upstairs and Buffy headed over to him:

“I’d offer to help, but I don’t know what I’m looking for.”

He glanced at her before returning his attention to the task at hand.

“It’s fine, we’ll find it. I should have…Buffy, could you hand me those?”

She turned to the papers sitting on the bar, her nerves suddenly on edge. Obviously this case had her more wound up than she thought, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

She stopped walking and turned back to Angel, only to find him close behind her and looking worried.

“What was that?”

His head was cocked as he listened. Buffy didn’t hear anything, and after a minute, Angel relaxed.

“Guess it was nothing. Sorry, I’ve been a little on the jumpy side.”

“It’s okay, I’m finding myself a little on…”

His eyes suddenly jerked to the front door and Buffy whirled quickly to face the threat. She had heard nothing but she trusted Angel’s instincts as much as she trusted her own, and hers were screaming at her that she was in danger.

Angel stepped closer to her, his chest brushing up against her back:

“Did you hear that?”

She answered him softly without taking her eyes off the door:

“No, I didn’t hear a thing.”

He whispered his response into her ear:

“Me either, Buff.”

*****************************

Faith came bounding down the stairs a few minutes later:

“Nothin’ but crap in the ones upstairs. Must have it down here…Guys?”

Everything was just as she remembered it, except there was no sign of Buffy or Angel.

“B? Soulboy?”

She searched the entire place, which didn’t take long. They were just gone, and there was no sign of a struggle. She knew there was no way that Buffy and Angel wouldn’t have put up a fight, and she also knew there was no way she wouldn’t have heard it, even from upstairs.

“What the fuck?”

She called home, waiting impatiently for someone to answer:

“Yes, hello?”

“G-Man, B and Angel have disappeared.”

“Pardon me?”

“You heard me. Was upstairs lookin’ for some shit Angel needed, came down like five minutes later and they’re both gone.”

“Did you…”

“Searched the whole place. Can ya call B’s phone? No answer when I called, but maybe I fucked up the number.”

“Certainly. Willow, would you please dial Buffy’s phone? I’ll explain momentarily.”

Willow quickly dialed and listened to it ringing.

“She doin’ it?”

“Yes, it’s ringing.”

“Well nowhere near here, I don’t hear shit.”

The panic was rising in her voice, and Giles made sure to stay as calm as possible:

“Does there appear to have been a struggle of any kind?”

“What, think I’m a moron? No sign of nothing. Even the front door’s locked like it was.”

“Hold on…Willow, would you please set about performing a locator spell to determine Buffy and Angel’s whereabouts? Faith, perhaps a trapdoor of some sort?”

She was already busy pulling back the rug and feeling along the floor.

“Yeah, I got it. Behind the counter. Leads down into the sewers.”

“Do you have any idea why they would…”

“None. Doesn’t make any sense at all. Listen, gonna head on down, and I doubt the phone’s gonna work. I’ll check back when I…”

“Might I ask you to hold off for a moment?”

“Can ask, but I…”

Willow’s voice was audible in the background:

“They’re nowhere. Someone or something’s masking their location.”

“So she’s got nothin’?”

Giles was still focused on Willow:

“Can you break through it and find them?”

“Yes, but it’s going to take me awhile. I don’t…Hold on.”

“Giles, what the fuck is going on?”

“Willow’s receiving the call we’ve been waiting on. Perhaps we’ll soon have some idea what we’re up against.”

Faith began pacing angrily. She wanted to get going, but instead found herself on the phone waiting for maybe absolutely nothing that would help.

“Fuck this! Giles?”

She heard only muffled sounds for a couple of minutes, and then Giles’ voice floated to her as if from far away:

“Good Lord…”

“G-Man?”

“I…Faith…”

“Goddamn it, Giles, what is it?”

He cleared his throat twice, and still had difficulty getting it out:

“Faith, Willow’s source just informed her that the big evil is…a vampire...”

“A vamp? How’s that make sense? Angel said those demons were…”

“…a vampire…with the face of an angel.”

Her legs wobbled and she had to lean against the counter to remain standing.

“No…Giles, that can’t be right…No way can that be right.”

“Her source is positive. Angelus is back.”

CHAPTER TEN

Buffy left unconsciousness behind rather grudgingly. Her head was aching and her eyelids felt like they were tied down with heavy weights, making her want to drift off into oblivion again. She forced herself to stay awake, raising her hand to her head where the throbbing was the worst. The rattle and clink made it clear that she was chained up.

She struggled and managed to open her eyes, although it took her quite a bit of time to get them to focus. When they did, she wished she were still unconscious and ignorant of her predicament.

The room she was in was on the dark side. She was lying on the floor, manacled by her wrists to the wall, and in the dim light provided by the flickering torches and candles, she could discern a bed, a chair, a small table and a post in the middle of the room. She could also make out the vague outline of an armoire and another cabinet, but nothing else was visible.

She felt her head clearing and sat up, leaning her back against the wall as she tried to gather her strength. She pulled hard on her chains, but they didn’t budge, not that she truly expected them to. She knew she wasn’t getting out of them without help or luck, and she had a good suspicion that both of those things were a long way off.

“I see you’re finally awake.”

She didn’t respond, but it didn’t seem to matter. He strolled into view, his shirt unbuttoned almost to the waist and a big smile on his face.

“So, got it all figured out or do you need a little more time?”

She didn’t answer him again, and this time he slapped her hard across the face:

“Sorry, Buff, but you are going to participate, one way or the other.”

“I’ve figured it out.”

“That’s my girl. I’ll bet you’re surprised to see me.”

“My word of choice would be ‘sickened’.”

He pulled a chair up close to her, but not close enough for her legs to reach him.

“Now that hurts. I mean, I might be evil, but I’ve got feelings too, you know?”

She stayed silent, and Angelus grinned as he looked her up and down.

“You know, I’d forgotten just how stubborn you can be. That’ll make this a lot more entertaining.”

Neither of them moved, just staring at each other until he shook his head and made a “tsking” noise. He reached for something on the small table, and in one swift motion, stood and jammed a knife halfway into her leg. She groaned but bit back the scream that was fighting to escape, and her efforts made him laugh.

“The thing is Buff, I’m planning on having lots of fun with you for the next couple of days, but if this is how you want to play it…”

He carefully grabbed onto the handle protruding from her thigh.

“…well, I’m fine with that, Slayer.”

He slowly wiggled the knife back and forth his eyes on hers until finally she cried out. He yanked the blade clear and licked the blood off with obvious delight.

“Mmm…nothing tastes better than that.”

Buffy’s head was down as she struggled to control her pain and fear.

“I’d be happy to start carving you up right now, but unfortunately I can’t. I need you in relatively one piece for the big ceremony, so making you bleed too much isn’t really an option.”

He wrenched her head back by grabbing a fistful of blonde hair.

“But there are so many other ways to cause pain, and luckily for us, I know them all.”

She spit in his face and he pulled back in a rage, wiping the spittle off with his hand. It was now his turn to visibly fight for control:

“You little bitch. You always were good at pushing Angel’s buttons, but as we both know, I’m not him. Don’t expect me to lose it and let you destroy all of my plans. Sorry sweetheart, I’ve worked way too hard to get us here.”

“Faith will find us.”

He sauntered back over to her, looking not the least bit concerned:

“I suppose she will…eventually. Faithy will sniff around in a panic until she picks up our scent, and then she’ll come rushing in like a bitch in heat, ready to save us both.”

“She won’t be here to save you.”

“No, but since I’ve got her precious savior in here with me, she’ll have to be extra-special careful. See, all of those warm feelings she has for him are going to make it hard for her, trust me, I remember the last time. Unlike you, she won’t kill Angel, she’d rather die herself than kill him.”

Angelus eyes were glittering with disdain, his voice full of mocking scorn:

“After all, he saved her, put her on that hallowed path to redemption, and cue the sappy muzak. They’re both filled with guilt and a desire to make amends, comrades to the bitter end. They’re so much alike it’s amazing, don’t you think?”

When she didn’t reply, he grabbed her leg where the knife wound was still throbbing, and twisted and squeezed until she moaned from the pain.

“A simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer will be fine, Slayer.”

”Y…Yes.”

He gave a final twist, then released her, his smile making it clear how much fun he was having.

“I will say one thing for you, Buff, you’ve definitely got a type. So much so, now you’re even willing to eat pussy to stay with it.”

She said nothing, still recovering, but this time he didn’t seem to care.

“I mean, who would have ever figured a straight arrow like you could swing the other way? ‘Buff, the Muff Diver’ does have a certain ring to it, like something out of a children’s book by that author…What’s his name?”

When she didn’t answer, his hand moved to hover over her leg threateningly.

“Dr. Seuss.”

“That’s it, Dr. Seuss! He’d rhyme ‘Buff’ and ‘muff’ with ‘fluff’ and ‘huff’…maybe even branch out to…’tough’ and ‘enough’. I should write it myself, I’d make millions.”

“Good idea, why don’t you go do that right now?”

His gaze met hers and Buffy felt a chill roll its way down her spine.

“I could, but I’d want to write it in your blood.”

Despite being scared, Buffy refused to show it:

“Oh, well in that case? Children’s books, so not for you.”

He laughed and continued on with his original train of thought:

“All of that girl on girl lovin’, I’ll bet you’re just dying to have a real man inside you again.”

She pulled on her chains, not liking where the conversation was heading.

“Is that fear I smell? But Buff, you love this body. Of course I won’t be all gentle and tender like your beloved Angel, but then it’s not like you’re a virgin anymore either.”

His grin was nothing but evil, and Buffy could barely stand seeing Angel’s face so hideously perverted.

“So just how many times have you been fucked by now? Let’s see: at least twice a day with Spike, and Faith is such a whore, well when aren’t you two going at it? All that screwing and you still want me to give it to you good, don’t you, baby?”

She remained silent and he grabbed onto her hair again. The instant he had a grip, she rolled and kicked him with her steel-toed boot. She nailed him good, blood spraying out from the split on his cheek as he flew back hard against the wall.

Her voice rang out strong and clear:

“Was that good for you too, baby?”

He leapt to his feet with a snarl, his face vamped out:

“You’re going to regret that.”

“I don’t think so. The only thing I regret is not staking you years ago.”

He approached her carefully, his human smirk securely in place:

“Well, well, well, look at you. No longer the simpering schoolgirl who loves her man so much she just can’t kill him, even when he’s slaughtering half the town.”

She refused to look at him and he laughed:

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask…Did Giles ever get over that whole neck snapping thing that happened to Miss Calender? That was such a shame.”

Buffy’s eyes met his:

“When I get the chance, I won’t hesitate to kill you. Angel would want me to.”

“Strong words, Buff. Too bad you’ll never get the opportunity to prove them true.”

He sat down in the chair again as he pretended to think out loud:

“But seriously now, I’ve been penned up for a really long time…I think fucking you might be just the thing I need to loosen me up.”

He laughed as he looked at her, his hand absently toying with the buckle of his belt.

“Now come on, it’s just us here, don’t act like you wouldn’t love it. You’ve always had the hots for the world’s sorriest excuse for a vampire. Why, I can remember him popping your cherry like it was yesterday. You were such a little slut…’Oh Angel…God, that feels so good’, you just couldn’t get enough, could you?”

She said nothing as she tugged vainly on her chains again.

“’Oh Angel, do it again. I love you, Angel. You’re the greatest lover ever. Oh my God, Angel, I think I’m coming!’”

His hand rubbed rhythmically against the front of his pants, his eyes taking in every flicker of emotion on her face:

“I don’t know though, maybe we should wait. It’d be so much better if Faith were here to watch us go at it. What do you think? Would it turn her on or just make her crazier? Would she cry? Would all of those tiny little insecurities bubble to the surface when I made you come right in front of her? Would she be convinced that you still wanted me, but ended up having to settle for her?”

“I think she’d shove a stake up your ass and then kill you slowly for raping me.”

He stood up, his lust plain to see.

“Gee Buff, you sound a little hostile, guess it’s all that repressed sexual desire. Well don’t worry, I’ll make it good for you. I’ll have you moaning those sounds you make, those sexy little gasps and whimpers…Mmm, just the thought of it is making me so hard.”

His hands unbuckled his belt leisurely, his eyes locked on hers. She strained to pull loose, but the chains didn’t give at all.

“I’ve been waiting for this for a long time, lover.”

His hands went to his zipper, lowering it gradually inch by inch.

“Oh come on, Buff. You know you want it. My cock in your pussy…so much bigger than Faith’s delicate fingers…finally satisfying you in a way you haven’t been since your first time.”

She closed her eyes as his hand delved into his pants.

“Mmm…Buffy…”

She tried to think of other things, but the noises he was making, the groans and sighs kept invading her, and she couldn’t quite block them out.

After a few minutes, he let out a loud cry and called out her name. It wasn’t long before she heard him re-zipping his pants, and she opened her eyes to find him grinning at her. He mockingly asked her:

“Was that good for you too, baby?”

She turned away from him, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Hope you’re not too turned on, lover. I wouldn’t want you suffering. Unfortunately, I can’t fuck you properly right now, there’s this whole ‘purity’ thing involved. At first I was worried you had to be a virgin, but it turns out we just can’t have intercourse before the ritual.”

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so grateful.

“But afterwards? Well don’t you worry, Buff. After the ceremony, I won’t let anything keep us apart, not when I know how deprived you’ve been. I promise I’m going to fuck you…to death, but right now? Well right now I’ve got some errands to run. I should be back soon though, so until then, mi casa es su casa.”

He viciously backhanded her, smacking her head hard into the wall and knocking her out again.

“Sweet dreams, lover.”

********************************************************

“’Calm down’?! I’ll calm the fuck down when B’s safe!”

“Faith, we must keep our heads.”

“Yeah, you keep yours. I’m gonna…”

“Got it!”

Willow’s voice rang out loud on the speaker phone.

“Excellent! What have you discovered?”

“Angelus is the only one trying to cause an apocalypse. He needs an original Slayer, one made the old-fashioned way, to complete some ancient ritual.”

Faith was pacing back and forth as she listened:

“So pretty much everything he told us was a lie?”

“It looks that way. The word I got is that there are no demons and no guy he was guarding. He’s probably been Angelus for at least a month now, maybe longer.”

They heard the sound of a crash and glass breaking on Faith’s end:

“How the hell did Angelus get loose?”

Willow hesitated.

“You got the answer or not?”

“I don’t know for sure, but that case Angel was on when he was here...”

Giles interrupted:

“It seems more than likely that Angel lost his soul somewhere during the course of that investigation, but we don’t quite have that sorted yet. The important thing is…”

“The important thing is he’s got B. Red, any line on where they are?”

“No. He’s got something blocking my locator spells. It’s going to be at least a day or two before I can…”

Faith’s voice exploded from the tiny speaker:

“B doesn’t have a day or two! We have to find her now!”

Giles tried again to calm her:

“We’re all well aware of the time constraints, but Faith…”

“No! No more waiting! I’ve got that list of demon joints you guys rustled up, I’m gonna go see if I can find out anything. I’ll check in every hour on the hour. Willow…please.”

Then she was gone, leaving Giles and Willow sitting in a pained silence. It was Giles who managed to compose himself first:

“Right then. Willow, please focus all of your efforts on finding Buffy. I shall concentrate on how we can restore Angel’s soul, as well as how it became unanchored in the first place. There have to be answers, and we shall find them…now.”

**************************

She woke to the feeling of Faith’s lips on her. They were so cold, but she couldn’t help smiling. They were nibbling on her neck and they seemed different…and so cold.

Her eyes snapped open and she tried to pull away, but Angelus gripped her hair to prevent her from going far.

“What’s the matter? You were enjoying it just a second ago.”

“That’s when I thought you were someone else…anyone else.”

He kissed her then, a short, brutal kiss that pressed her lips back painfully against her teeth, cutting them slightly. He stood up and turned away from her, tasting the small amount of blood he’d caused to well up.

“Mmm, tasty. So Buff, I was thinking about how we could get around that whole ‘mingling’ dilemma, and I think I’ve got it. How ‘bout giving me a blowjob?”

“Sure, I’ll be happy to bite it off for you.”

He spun back to her with a cruel smile on his face:

“Gee, figures you wouldn’t know how.”

“Oh no, I know how. In fact, I’m quite good at it. Spike taught me.”

He actually growled as he stalked over to her:

“What did you just say to me?”

Apparently Angelus and Angel did share some of the same buttons, and Buffy was determined to keep pushing them:

“I said Spike taught me how to…”

He hit her then, once, twice, three times and she could feel her left eye swelling closed. He grabbed her roughly by her hair again and pulled her face close to his:

“Did he tell you he learned from sucking mine?”

“Oh, so you’re the one he called ‘needle dick’.”

With a roar of fury, Angelus hauled her to her feet by her throat, and Buffy began struggling for air. He held her aloft, fully vamped out, and her arms protested as the chains lost their slackness.

“I wonder if your ass would find me small.”

She kicked him with all of her strength right in the crotch, and he dropped her as he fell to his knees in agony. She quickly reached out with her legs, wrapping them around his neck as she squeezed for all she was worth.

It was a fight to the death. His hands grasped her legs trying to pull her loose, but Buffy clamped them together as tightly as she could. She twisted and

turned, desperately trying to wrest his head from his shoulders while he tried to get an arm between one of her legs and his neck.

He fought to stand, trying to gain some leverage, but it didn’t work. She merely rose with him, suspended in the air by her chains, her legs wrapped powerfully around him. They could both feel it, his tendons and bones were starting to give way. She had him, but then he was able to reach the knife and he slammed it in up to the hilt. Her scream echoed off the walls, yet incredibly Buffy didn’t let go.

Her vise-like grasp did relax just slightly from the impact, and that involuntary reflex allowed him to wedge a hand between himself and her leg. After a brief struggle, he managed to pry her loose just far enough to slip down and away from the death she was so effectively delivering.

He hit the ground with an undignified thud, his neck and shoulders screaming with the strain the Slayer had placed them under. He collapsed, sprawling onto the floor with his hands massaging his throat, as he tried unsuccessfully to ease the searing pain.

Buffy landed hard on the knife side of her leg, and the pain radiated an excruciating fire throughout her body. She lay still, breathing in as deeply as she could and expelling the air slowly, trying to stay conscious.

Several minutes passed before Angelus felt steady enough to get to his feet. His hands still rubbed at his aching muscles to soothe the pain, and he did not look pleased, not at all. He walked over to where Buffy lay, pulling her to him by the knife handle.

She clenched her jaw in an attempt to deny him the satisfaction of hearing just how much it hurt, but as he kept jerking her around with it, the pain became too much and she could no longer hold in her screams. By the time he stopped, she was nearly shrieking out her anguish.

He brought his mouth close to her ear to make sure she heard him through her torment:

“Nice try, Buff. You almost had me.”

She moaned as he continued torturing her, her eyes squinched tight against the unrelenting waves of agony that were totally swamping her.

“It was a win/win, right? Either you get me so mad I kill you, or you dust me and wait to be rescued. Very brave and clever, lover. Also very stupid.”

He twisted the knife, and Buffy’s eyes rolled back in her head as she let out a soundless scream. The tears were now pouring down her face, every tendon and muscle in her body flexed. She was straining, her body completely contorted as it struggled to escape from a pain there was no getting away from.

“You’re getting off easy, Buff…for now. I can’t afford for you to lose a lot of blood, remember? But if this keeps up, I’m going to find out just exactly how much needs to be in you when I perform the ritual, and let’s just say that removing the rest of it won’t be all that pleasant...At least, it won’t be for you.”

With a final twist, he stood up and walked off into the darkness, reemerging with several more chains. He shackled each of her ankles, linked them together, and then locked another chain around the link. He pulled her legs taut, stretching them until Buffy groaned, then secured the chain to a large hook in the floor.

“Sorry, no more Mr. Nice Guy.”

Satisfied that the Slayer wasn’t going anywhere, he walked over to the bed and grabbed a sheet, tearing it into strips. He went back over to her and began tightly tying a tourniquet around her leg. When he was finished, he gently touched her cheek.

“This could hurt a little, but I’ll make sure it feels much worse than that.”

He was as good as his word, jerking the knife clear just as roughly as he could. Buffy flinched, and the cry of pain she tried to muffle was like music to his ears. With a grin he tossed the knife safely out of her reach and began applying pressure to the wound.

“So, while it is true I can’t have you bleeding to death, as I said there are plenty of other ways to make you…uncomfortable. And just so you know, I’m keeping track of everything you do, and as soon as this ritual’s over, I’m going to make you pay for every single thing.”

He checked to see that the flow of blood had slowed and began bandaging the wound.

“Of course, you know me, Buff. I’ll probably even make you pay for the things you didn’t do.”

What Buffy knew for sure was that she wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere else, but she wasn’t. She was with Angelus, and she was his prisoner. As hard as she wished for it to be otherwise, it didn’t seem like that was going to be happening any time soon.

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine herself safe in her own bed, wearing her favorite pajamas and wrapped up tightly in Faith’s strong arms. She’d be talking incessantly about whatever had happened that day, and Faith would finally laugh, kiss her gently on the head, and then tell her to shut the hell up and go to sleep.

She would snuggle in closer and drift off as she listened to the soothing sound of Faith’s heartbeat, so strong and constant as it…But here there was only her own heartbeat pounding out her terror and pain as she lay helpless, bleeding and chained, with only a monster to keep her company. Buffy wanted to go home.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The sound of his head cracking open as it slammed into the wall was easy to hear in the silence of the room, as was the slide of his lifeless body slipping to the floor.

“Maybe I didn’t make myself clear…I want some answers.”

Nothing moved or said a word. No one wanted to call the Slayer’s attention their way and they all looked frozen in place, none of them making even the slightest of sounds.

“More than willing to go through each and every one of you to get what I need.”

A vampire in the corner dared to speak up:

“We don’t know any more than you do, Slayer. Give us a break.”

She smiled and strolled over to him:

“Ya want a break?”

Her fist swung out and suddenly the blood was pouring freely from his broken nose. Before he could say a word, his head was separated from his shoulders, and he was a pile of dust.

“There ya go.”

She turned back to face the remaining customers:

“Now, I’m lookin’ for info. I don’t get it, none of you are walking out of here.”

*******************

She entered Giles’ office from the adjoining room looking shakier than he had ever seen her. Although he knew the answer already, he still asked the question with more than a tad of desperation:

“Any progress, Willow?”

She looked at him, her eyes filled with tears of frustration and fear:

“No, none at all. Angelus has some really powerful spells going, and at this point, I’m not even sure if it’s around their location or them.”

“Not exactly what we need, is it?”

She headed over to his desk and tried to pour herself a glass of water, but her hand was shaking so badly, Giles quickly took the pitcher from her.

“Willow, please sit down.”

“I can’t, not when Buffy…”

“Exhausting yourself is not going to help her. You’ve been at it nonstop for hours, you need to take a break.”

He handed her the glass and she drank it down without stopping. He poured her another which she drank half of before falling tiredly into the chair in front of his desk. She laid her head back against the cool leather, her eyes closing against her will.

“Just ten minutes and then I’ll get back to it. Any luck on your end?”

He sat back down in his chair, his hands restless as he shuffled through a stack of papers.

“Somewhat. It seems the case Angel was working on when he was last here involved a group of Sepa demons.”

Her eyes opened and she sat upright:

“I’ve heard of them. They’re heavy magic users, right?”

“Yes, they’re quite adept at many spells thought lost. I believe they inadvertently set Angelus loose attempting to prevent Angel from interfering with their plans. My research indicates they have a history of making their victims forget what they are doing, and I believe somehow at some point that spell allowed Angel to experience a moment of what seemed to be true happiness.”

Willow looked excited and confused:

“So why with the not sharing? I should be focusing my efforts on finding them and…”

He took his glasses off, but instead of polishing them, he tossed them somewhat angrily onto his desk.

“There’s nothing to find. Angel managed to kill them all before Angelus took over. My research indicates the spell that removed his soul took some time to become effective. He managed to track them down, rescue his client, and eliminate the clan.”

“Okay then, we’ll just find some others and make them…”

“There are no others to find. There were only eight remaining, and I’ve fairly incontrovertible evidence that Angel destroyed them all.”

Willow’s enthusiasm wasn’t dimmed in the slightest:

“Fine, I’ll figure it out without them. I just need some background info and...”

“Yes, I agree you would most certainly be able to deduce their methods eventually, but it would be much like attempting to navigate a labyrinth in the dark. You would have to ascertain exactly which spells were used and then you would be required to learn how to reverse or at least negate the effects. It will take a great deal more time than we have.”

Willow wasn’t giving up:

“Okay then, forget the Sepas. We’ll just use an orb of Thesula.”

“Which you well know, we don’t have.”

“So we’ll find one and...”

“Damn it!”

He flung his arm out, sweeping it across his cluttered desk and knocking everything except his lamp to the floor.

He stood up and began pacing, and Willow could not recall ever seeing him so agitated.

“I’m sorry, Willow, please know my ire is not directed at you. It’s just that I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to track down an orb, and the usual channels seem to be inexplicably closed off. It’s going to take at least several days, and Buffy clearly doesn’t have ‘several’ days. God knows what that monster is doing to her.”

There was nothing she could say to him, the images were in her head too. If she let herself think about it for more than five seconds, she could barely stop herself from screaming and running around in a panicked circle.

They couldn’t do that, Buffy needed them to remain calm and focused, and Willow was determined to keep her cool, no matter what. But watching Giles lose it, watching his eyes mist over with the horrible memories of the time Angelus held him captive, it made her remember the horror of it all.

When he finally turned back to her, she could see the fear in his eyes and the exhaustion on his face.

“Angelus delights in causing pain and he is extremely good at it. I know what it’s like, Willow… and the thought that Buffy is right now enduring that and has been for hours…”

“I know. But it’s Buffy, right? There’s nobody tougher Giles, she’ll hang on.”

She saw him swallow the tears that were welling up, saw him digging deep to hang onto his strength.

“…Bloody right, she will.”

He offered her a shaky smile:

“What do you estimate your chances are of breaking through and finding their location?”

“Not good, at least not any time soon. I’m almost completely drained, but even if I wasn’t…I’ve got the Coven on it too, so maybe they’ll be able to find something, at this point any clue would be huge progress. The bottom line is that it’s going to take a while, way too long a while.”

Giles bent down tiredly and began picking up the scattered files and books. He placed his glasses back where they belonged and then sat down in his chair.

“Willow, I believe we have to give up on that angle. By all means, let the Coven keep trying, but I think your time would be best served on the computer. Concentrate on investigating all new purchases and rentals in the last two months, say in a ten mile radius from Angel’s office. We can expand the perimeter as needed, but for now, start there. Also, let’s not overlook any vacant properties or natural formations.”

“I’ll break it down into categories.”

She staggered slightly on her way to the computer, but she made herself stay upright. She was relieved to have a task to perform that might actually do some good, so she concentrated on that as she pushed her weariness away from her.

Giles glanced at his watch and began reorganizing the disheveled mass of books and files.

“Faith should be checking in…in approximately ten minutes. Perhaps she’ll have something.”

Willow hesitated, but then asked him anyway:

“Giles, are you sure we shouldn’t send a few Slayers to back her up?”

He sighed and took his time before answering.

“No, I am not at all ‘sure’, Willow, but I am willing to follow Faith’s lead. If she feels it would be more of a detriment than a benefit at this point, well I feel we must trust her judgment.”

“I agree, but I’m not sure how much longer I can keep Kennedy here.”

“Yes, I well understand her desire to do something other than just sit here and wait, but we are only assuming Angelus’ plans compel him to stay where he is. It is entirely possible that he could show up here, and…”

She nodded, already turning back to the monitor.

“…with me drained and all our best Slayers somewhere that’s else, we’d be sitting ducks.”

“Indeed. We’ve no idea if he’s working alone, nor do we know for certain exactly what his agenda is. I think Faith is right, we must stay on our guard.”

The phone rang and Giles answered before the first ring had finished ringing:

“Faith, have you…”

“Rupert, buddy, great to hear your voice! How’ve you been?”

“Angelus.”

“Am I interrupting you guys? I’ll just bet sweet little Willow is hard at work, trying her best to punch through my cover. Sorry to break it to you, sweetie, but it won’t work. Well, not in time anyway.”

“Then perhaps you’d care to inform us of your location.”

He laughed, the sound grating on Giles’ already frayed nerves.

“Sorry, Rupert, you’re going to have to work that one out on your own.”

Willow was standing next to the desk and Giles switched the call over to speaker phone.

“You shan’t get away with this.”

Xander came hurrying into the room with a progress report, but his face fell when he heard the voice that seemed to be filling every available space.

“But I already am. Faith’s running all over town tracking down every little lead, no matter how ridiculous, and I’m all safe and snug in my…Oops, no clues.”

“We will find you, and when we do…”

“Wow, tough talk, Watcher. Hey Buff, Giles says they’re going to find us. Any thoughts on that?”

There was nothing at first, and then Buffy was screaming.

“Sorry, Buff’s too busy to come to the phone right now, but I’ll be sure to give her your best.”

“You bastard.”

Angelus chuckled:

“Now Rupert, you know that’s not true, you’re well aware of my parentage. Anyway, there is a reason for this call besides giving all of you the chance to hear…”

Buffy’s scream lasted longer this time, and Xander had gone white while he held a quietly weeping Willow. Giles felt sick, and raised a shaky hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

“You know what’s amazing? How little it actually takes to make a good torture kit. You just have to look around the house and see things with a fresh eye, I learned that one from Faith. Boy, this sure has been a lot more challenging this time around, no offense, Watcher. But even though Buff’s a whole lot tougher, well I’ve still managed to teach her a few things. For example, this one always gets her going…”

Buffy’s scream seemed to echo off the walls of the library and Xander was crying now too. Giles was on his feet with nowhere to go and nothing to do, and his words sounded strangled as he struggled to speak:

“What do you want?”

“’Want’? Besides having my very own Slayer to play with? Wow, I just can’t imagine having anything better.”

The sound of something heavy being dragged, followed by the clinking of chains, filled the silence as Angelus prepared to do something none of them wanted to hear.

“Fun fact about Slayers: no matter how far you stretch their muscles, they always try to bounce back, even when they’re still being stretched. It seems to be pretty painful for Buff, and I’d have to say the rack is definitely not her best friend. Still, it is fascinating to watch...”

There was a sound like a crank turning, and then Buffy’s scream filled the air again.

“You guys should see this…Now what were we talking about? Oh yeah, I’d have to say I’m pretty content. I’ve got my hearth and home, a pretty girl…well, she was pretty…to play my wife, a crackling fire in the fireplace, and the world’s most delicious blood on tap. Life’s good, but thanks for asking.”

Buffy’s cries of pain were still audible in the background, and Giles looked like he was contemplating leaping through the speaker to get to her. No one said anything for a minute, then Angelus began laughing again:

“Gee, everybody’s so quiet, is it something I said? Sorry, I wasn’t planning on upsetting anyone, I was just calling to tell you that yes, I do have your precious Buffy, and no, you won’t be rescuing her in time. Although I just might be persuaded to alter my plans somewhat.”

“In exchange for what, precisely?”

“Well Giles, it seems despite all of the not so subtle hints I dropped, neither of my favorite Slayers brought that fancy, shiny scythe with them. It’s more than a little upsetting because I was kind of counting on it, you know? Anyway, I’ll tell you what: I’ll let Buffy go, alive and in...”

“No…don’t do it! He’s…”

There was the sound of a scuffle, and then they could clearly hear Angelus beating Buffy silent. When all was quiet again, he came back to the phone.

“Now that’s disappointing, she promised me she wouldn’t say anything. I guess you just can’t trust a Slayer, can you? Anyway, you’ve got until 9:00 p.m. before you start receiving pieces of Buff, gift wrapped, of course. So far I’ve confined myself to torturing her in a nice way, but I do have a chainsaw out in the garage, and you know how I love my chainsaws, Rupert. Seven hours…Oh, and guys? Give my love to Faith. Toodles.”

The call was disconnected and the three of them were shaken to say the least. They collapsed into the chairs around Giles’ desk, sitting wordlessly as they tried to regain their composure. Before they’d managed that trick, the phone rang again.

Giles pushed the button with all of the pent up emotion he was feeling, almost breaking it in his fury:

“You listen to me, you sadistic bastard: when I find you, I am going to make sure that you are totally unrecognizable before I dust you.”

“G-Man, it’s me. What the fuck are you…Did Angelus call? Is B okay? Giles?”

“Faith, yes, we did receive a call from Angelus. I’m sorry, he…he refused to let us speak with Buffy.”

“Don’t fuckin’ bullshit me! What happened?”

He didn’t reply at first, uncertain of how to say the words. He opted instead to skip over parts of the conversation and get straight to Angelus’ demands:

“He wants the Slayer Scythe. He claims if he gets it, he’ll let Buffy go.”

“Without talking to her, how do you even know she’s still alive?”

“We heard her, Faith. She was clearly alive.”

The silence was a heavy one, and when Faith finally spoke, her voice was barely audible:

“He was torturing her, wasn’t he?”

“…Yes, I’m afraid he was.”

No one said a word, until Willow and Xander both spoke up, almost simultaneously:

“We’re going to get her back, Faith.”

“Yeah, the Buffster’s tough, she’ll hold on until we can get to her.”

Still nothing, and Giles decided a business approach was needed:

“Faith, let’s have your progress report. We’ve made a fair amount of headway on this end, what did you manage to uncover?”

It took a few moments, but then Faith’s voice rang out like it was supposed to:

“Word is Angelus has a house someplace in the area. He made some noise about how he was stocking it with what he needed and…”

“That’s the angle Giles and I are working on here.”

“Yes, as Willow has been unable to break through whatever concealment spell Angelus has in force, we thought it prudent to focus our efforts in a more practical direction.”

“Makes sense. Red, got any addresses I can run down?”

Willow stood and rushed over to the computer:

“I haven’t had much time, but I’ve got a few. Hold on, it’ll just take a minute.”

“Okay. You guys give any thought to Angel?”

Xander piped up:

“Yep, we’ve got a place to keep Angelus prisoner until we can get Angel’s soul back. I just finished reinforcing it myself, and we tested it out with several Slayers. If he gets put in there, he’s not getting out until we say so.”

“That’s splendid news, Xander. In addition, we’re attempting to track down an orb of Thesula. I believe we should be able to procure one within the next few days, a week at the utmost, but as of yet, we’ve not managed to secure one.”

Willow came back to the speaker:

“Where are you, Faith? I’ll give you the ones closest to you.”

“Don’t know, hang on and let me check…Roughly the corner of Leaf and Johnson. That’s the north part of town.”

“Okay, let me look...I’ve got three that are sort of near you. Want me to text them or…”

“I better write’em. Can’t be sure of hanging onto the phone, but planning to keep my arm. Ready when you are.”

Willow read them off, placing a check by each one as she recited it.

“There are nine more on the list so far. Maybe we should send Kennedy and…”

“Hold off on that for a bit. Let me make sure he’s here ‘fore you send the troops. It’d be good if you guys could narrow it down a little though, it’s a big ass town.”

Giles was writing something, but he responded almost instantly:

“Yes, well I believe based on our conversation, we can. Angelus let a bit of information slip, for example he mentioned having a garage. Perhaps we can eliminate all of the houses that do not possess one, and although somewhat nebulous, I think we should also see which homes offer a fireplace as well.”

“Worth a shot. How long we got to give him the scythe?”

“Less than seven hours.”

“Okay, I better get movin’. Gonna give ya a call after I check out each one. I’ll go in order, so if ya don’t hear from me, figure he’s at the last one I was at.”

Giles cleared his throat:

“Faith, remember this is Angelus. If you do find him, he will most certainly use Buffy to manipulate you. You must not let him. Try and remain calm, no matter the provocation he provides.”

“Know what he’s like.”

“Yes, I understand you are well versed in the ways of Angelus, but this time he has Buffy at his mercy, and I suspect she will not be in the best of shape. You must maintain control of your emotions.”

“…I’ll do my best, Giles.”

He sounded worried, but his voice also conveyed his confidence in her:

“And that is all any of us can ask for.”

“Yeah…Just a coupla blocks away from the first one. Call you guys in a few.”

“Watch your back, Faith.”

“Wish you were here, Cyclops. Could use another eye.”

Then she was gone, leaving a scared yet determined Scooby gang more than ready to research.

“Xander, while Willow continues to pull up potential properties, please look over the map and coordinate an efficient search pattern for Faith. We need to work fast.”

“All over it.”

Giles pushed a button on his phone as Willow and Xander headed over to the computer area:

“Alice, would you please have Kennedy report to my office immediately?”

“She’s in the middle of her class, Mr. Giles.”

“Yes, I’m well aware of that, but she is urgently needed. If you will, please interrupt her straight away.”

“Yes, sir.”

Giles turned his attention back to Willow and Xander:

“We’ve only a few hours to complete our task. We will need to be on the road in approximately two and a half hours.”

“That should be enough time. I can help Xander once we get all of the house info.”

Kennedy came barging into the room at full Slayer speed:

“It’s about time. Will, are you teleporting me?”

“I’m afraid she hasn’t enough energy left to do that. We shall need to take the van with the cage, so could you please ascertain that it’s fully stocked with whatever you feel this mission may require? Also, please include some extra restraints for Angelus. I don’t fancy relying on the efficacy of the cage alone.”

“I’ll have everything ready in half an hour.”

“Thank you, Kennedy.”

He returned to his books and Kennedy walked over to Willow.

“How are you holding up?”

“Okay…He just called. He’s…he’s hurting her…and he made us listen.”

Kennedy hugged her close.

“I’m sorry, Will. That must have been awful.”

“Yeah, it was…Thank God Faith wasn’t here.”

“You look exhausted.”

“I am, and I’m not going to be much good for anything spell wise for quite a while.”

“We won’t need you. We’ll have three Slayers and Giles and Xander, so…”

The tears started trickling down Willow’s face:

“Buffy’s not going to be…She won’t be able to help.”

Kennedy wiped the moisture away and kissed her gently:

“Willow, one thing I know for sure: Buffy Summers is the toughest, strongest person on this planet. She’s also The Slayer, and she’ll be waiting for her chance. You of all people know she’s way too mean to just sit by quietly, I don’t care how injured she is.”

Willow had to smile:

“I definitely know it’s never safe to count her out of anything, it’s just…God, she was screaming, you know?”

“I know baby, but she’s going to be okay. We just need to find her, then we’ll get her away from him.”

Willow sniffled, her tears slowing as she found herself somewhat encouraged:

“I’d better get back to it.”

“Yeah, I’ve got chores too. See you in a little bit.”

“Okay. I love you, Kennedy.”

“I love you too.”

With a quick kiss and a smile, Kennedy was gone and Willow felt re-energized. They were going to find Buffy, they were going to save her, they were going to capture Angelus, and they were going to return Angel’s soul to him. It was all going to be okay, and she turned her attention back to her work.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Faith knew she should be exhausted, but she wasn’t feeling the slightest bit tired. Her adrenaline was surging, it pretty much had been since she’d first discovered Buffy and Angel missing. She’d been all over the city, from one side to the other, and now she was finally closing in…She could feel it.

She could also feel how scared she was and she couldn’t do anything about it. She was scared for Buffy, how badly was she hurt? She was scared for Angel, how was he going to live with the things Angelus had done? She was scared for herself too, scared that she wouldn’t be able to help the two people she loved most in the world get out of the dangerous situation they were now in.

The second to last house on the list loomed in front of her, and suddenly Faith knew this was it: she’d found them. All of her senses were on high alert, and the hairs on her neck were standing.

“Hold on guys, I’m coming.”

She stood far back in the shadows and dialed the Scoobies. Willow answered, her voice anxious and hopeful:

“Hello?”

“Me, Red. I got it. Second to last on the list, the one at Pine and Gavin. Where you at?”

“We’re about an hour away, I think.”

Xander’s voice came in clear:

“More like ninety minutes, Will.”

“Shit. I don’t wanna wait.”

Willow didn’t know what to say, and Giles asked for the phone.

“Faith, how certain are you?”

“No proof, but I know. Not gonna wait an hour and a half, G-Man, I can’t.”

“Hold the line a moment, please.”

Faith could hear him talking to Xander:

“What’s the absolute minimum time you can get us there?”

“If I put the pedal all the way down, we could be there in something like an hour.”

“Faith, can you wait a half hour? That would mean we would be there within thirty minutes after you entered.”

Faith looked torn:

“A half hour? Fuck, I don’t know. Can try.”

“I understand your eagerness, but please Faith, wait for us. We’ll be there well before the deadline, and I don’t believe he’ll kill her before then. Strength in numbers, yes?”

“Yeah, but it’s B, Giles. No promises, but I’ll try.”

“Understood. And Faith?”

“Yeah?”

“He will use her pain to throw you off balance. Try and ignore Buffy as much as you possibly can. Don’t think of anything except capturing and restraining Angelus, and don’t believe a word that comes from his mouth.”

“Got it. Just hurry, okay?”

“We shall. Stay strong, Faith.”

Then she was on her own, trying to wait.

She made it to twenty-three minutes, a lot longer than anyone would have guessed. She checked her weapons, took a deep breath, and made her approach.

The house was dark, but the front door stood ajar. She knew what that meant: Angelus knew she was coming. She never hesitated, sliding in with a crouch and a roll and feeling the breeze of something sailing far above her head. She popped to her feet next to a wall, and stood still, her eyes sweeping the darkness for any sign of movement.

There was nothing, the only sound was her own muffled breathing. She edged slowly from the wall, heading toward a door that had a thin shaft of light glowing under it. She knew it was a trap of some kind, but she also sensed that Buffy was inside, and there was no power in the world great enough to stop her from entering the room.

She flung the door open, then rolled quickly to the side. Again that same noise as Angel’s standard wooden crossbow bolts flew past her about head high. Faith waited, then peered carefully around the corner of the door frame. The light beamed down directly on Buffy and at first Faith thought she was unconscious, but as she stepped through the doorway, Buffy’s head lifted.

She looked like hell. She was naked, her face and body showing a myriad of burns and bruises, and one of her eyes was swollen shut. Her right arm appeared to be broken and her left shoulder was clearly dislocated. Her breathing was loud and labored because Angelus had chained her up in the most excruciating way possible.

Her arms were stretched out straight behind her back, and then lifted up towards the ceiling. It would have been a painful position for anyone, but with her specific injuries, Buffy was suffering more than Faith could bear. She started to rush forward, but Buffy stopped her:

“No…don’t m…m…move.”

Faith stopped, her knife at the ready.

“Why?”

“Look…down.”

There was a trip wire a couple of steps ahead of Faith, almost invisible, and connected to a loaded crossbow. It wouldn’t have delivered a killing blow, but it would have put her out of commission quite effectively.

She sliced the line with her knife and started for Buffy again, stopping when she heard the strangled cry of pain.

“Ah, ah, ah Faithy, I’d hate to rip her arms off.”

She froze in place as Angelus stepped into the light as well. His hands pulled Buffy’s arms up just slightly higher, and she yelled out again.

“Buff’s not exactly feeling her best, are you, lover?”

“Why don’t ya let her go and deal with me?”

“Oh, I am dealing with you. In fact, I’d say I’m dealing with you quite well. So, I see the Brainiacs finally managed to decipher my clues.”

“Yeah, question is: why do ya want me here?”

He smiled big then:

“Well see, I want to end the world. It’s a big ambition of mine, and I found a ritual that will make my dream come true. There’s only one catch though, I need the Slayer to make it happen.”

“Great, but you already got her. Why’d ya need me?”

He gently ran a hand along Buffy’s face, his eyes never leaving Faith’s as he relished the pain and anger he saw in them.

“Brace yourself. As hard as it is to believe, for once you’re actually needed. You see, even though you’re just a poor substitute, technically you’re the real Slayer. Buffy, well she’s just the first and the best, but it’s you who carries the bloodline, and it’s your blood I need.”

“So why not just take me at the start?”

“You might carry the bloodline, but Buff here, well she carries the energy. It’s complicated, but let’s just say I need you both to make it work.”

Faith moved to the side trying to get the angle, but Angel merely moved with her.

“So how’s this big ritual work?”

“Buffy’s already started it in motion, we’ve been working really hard to get things just right over the last few hours. All we need now is your blood, and then I guess you could say I’ll be bringing Hell up a few levels.”

Buffy shifted slowly as much as she could, trying to give Faith a clear shot, but Angelus yanked her back into place.

“Wow, Buff’s a real pain in the ass, isn’t she? Even when she’s beaten, scared, and in almost unbearable torment…”

He pulled up hard and something popped, making Buffy wail out loud despite all of her efforts to remain silent. She knew he was trying to goad Faith and she didn’t want to help him, but it hurt too much for her to stay quiet.

“…she always tries to play the hero. Sorry lover, didn’t mean to dislocate that one too. She’s just so full of good intentions, sacrifice and duty…but what about you, Faithy? Even though you play at being the good girl now, isn’t the real you still in there just burning to come out and have some fun?”

Faith didn’t answer, her eyes searching the room for any more traps, her mind struggling to control her emotions.

“Know what I realized today? Despite all of our time together, I never got to fuck you. You’re probably way better at it than Buffy, she doesn’t seem to have learned a thing over the years. I mean, you’d think Spike would have taught her how to please a man, but no such luck.”

His arms were now wrapped around Buffy, one hand fondling her breast, the other stroking between her legs.

“Mmm…but you, Faithy…Well I’ll bet you know just what to do, don’t you, baby?”

She could feel the anger surging at the sight of Buffy hurting and having to be touched so intimately, and she took a step forward, not caring about anything except… But then Giles’ words came back to her, and she forced herself to regain her self-control.

“Yeah, I’m hot in the sack for sure, but only B gets to sample the goods now. Sorry.”

He squeezed Buffy’s breast hard until she cried out.

“Gee, she didn’t mention anything about you guys being exclusive when I was fucking her. I guess she was too busy coming to make small talk.”

Buffy’s voice was faint, but Faith heard it clearly:

“L…Liar.”

“Aw c’mon, Buff, you should tell her the truth. No one can satisfy you like I do, but maybe if I gave her some pointers, she’d at least be able to get you off once in a while.”

Faith laughed:

“Damn, that the best ya got, psycho?”

“No, I gave my best to your girl…again and again.”

“Yeah? No wonder she looks so nauseated.”

He smiled at her:

“Awww…it’s so sweet, two dykes in love. Wish we had more time, I could show you firsthand just how much she loves my cock. I’ll bet I could even help you remember how good it feels to have a man between your legs. Oh well, the gang’ll be here any minute, so there’s no point in dwelling on the impossible.”

He unhooked Buffy’s broken arm, his eyes never leaving Faith’s:

“Now as you can see, Buffy’s a little worse for wear. Trust me when I tell you she can always get worse. To prevent that, all you need to do is lay down your weapons and put these on.”

He tossed a pair of handcuffs over to her.

“They’re Slayer-proofed, so once they’re on, I think we’ll all feel a lot more secure. Make sure to fasten’em good and tight.”

Faith laughed again, never moving an inch:

“Yeah, right.”

“Buff, I don’t think the retarded Slayer is getting it.”

He grabbed Buffy’s broken arm and squeezed, causing her to moan from the pain. He kept squeezing until her legs buckled, but he held her upright, staying safely behind her.

“Now I know there must still be a big part of you that enjoys watching Buffy get hers, finally she’s the weak one, right? But you are supposed to love her this time around, and that means you’re supposed to be willing to do anything for her. Gotta tell you, Faithy, I think your love’s looking a little shaky. What do you think, Buff?”

He twisted again and Buffy could not muffle her agony. Faith said nothing, nor did she lower her weapons.

He leaned down close to Buffy’s ear:

“I’m sorry to say this, lover, but I just don’t see the two of you having a long-term future. Faith doesn’t seem to...”

The second he was in range, Buffy slammed her head back into his face. He let go and staggered backwards a few steps, and Faith was on him.

Buffy swayed helplessly in the remaining chain, unable to manipulate her broken arm into working the shackle on her other wrist. The battle raged on around her, and it was incredibly brutal. The punches flew fast and furious, and at one point it seemed Angelus had the best of Faith as he punched her in the stomach, doubling her over. But Faith just went with it, bending down even further and delivering a reverse kick to his face that knocked him hard to the floor.

Buffy struggled to make her arm work, but it just couldn’t. She tried flipping up and yanking the chain free from the ceiling with her legs, but that went nowhere as she was barely able to stand on her own.

Faith and Angelus were both up, bloody and beaten but still more than ready.

“You know, I have to say I’m a little disappointed in your performance, it’s like you’re just not in the game. So what is it this time: you don’t want to hurt Angel or you still want to be punished every single chance you get? Tell me, Faithy…still want Daddy to beat the bad right out of you?”

Almost before he’d finished, he looked down to discover a knife sticking in his chest. Faith was there before he could remove it, and she shoved it in deeper, all the way to the hilt. He roared with the pain as she propelled him back hard into the wall, then yanked the blade clear only to make several quick, but deep slashes across his chest and face.

He managed to grab one of her fingers and Buffy winced when she heard it snap, but Faith didn’t let go of the knife, using her body’s momentum to shove it in painfully deep again. Angelus struggled to push her back, but her legs were driving her in closer, and he couldn’t get any leverage or space between them.

She reached down to the sheath attached at her waist and drew out a stake, ramming it right through his neck. He bellowed in agony and shoved her off of him, yanking the stake clear and throwing it back at her. She dropped to the floor and rolled under it, but he had her knife now and he put it to good use.

With a swift, smooth motion, he pulled it from his chest and hurled it into her leg as she flipped to her feet. He followed right behind it, the impact knocking them both through the front room’s picture window. They landed hard on the lawn, grappling and struggling for control as they rolled over and over each other.

It wasn’t long before Angelus’ voice came drifting back to Buffy:

“You should have staked me when you had the chance. That moment of weakness is going to get you and everyone else killed, but don’t worry. After I bleed you and drain enough of Buffy’s energy, I’m going to keep her as long as she lasts. Every time I screw her, I promise we’ll think of you.”

Buffy could hear the punches connecting and she couldn’t take it anymore. She tried to swing her legs up again, and on the third try she managed to wrap them around the chain. Her dislocated shoulder screamed at her as it helped to hold her suspended, but she ignored it and kept pulling with everything she had. After a minute, she could feel the chain breaking loose from the ceiling, so she hung on and kept tugging. It finally gave way and then she was free, hitting the floor with a painful thud.

She tried to stand and join the fight, but quickly found her legs were far too weak to hold her. She crawled slowly on her elbows and knees to the crossbow, the chain around her wrist clinking as it dragged behind her. She finally made it, but before she could attempt to pick up the only weapon in sight, headlights illuminated the darkened room as a van pulled into the driveway.

Angelus came running through the doorway at full speed and hurried over to Buffy, snatching her up by her hair. Faith entered just moments behind him, crashing her way painfully through what remained of the window’s broken glass, and the instant Buffy was pulled to her feet, she kicked the crossbow over to her.

Faith snagged it cleanly out of the air chest high, and in one quick motion had it pointed at Angelus.

Giles’ voice rang out:

“Faith, we’re here!”

Angelus kept Buffy in front of him, his hand seeming massive as it encircled her throat.

“Give it up, asshole. You’re not going anywhere. Let B go.”

“I don’t think so, Buff here’s my ace in the hole.”

The Scoobies crowded around the doorway and broken window, all of their weapons trained on Angelus.

“Hey, guys, it’s good to see everyone again! Sorry we don’t have more time to catch up, but later…I guarantee it. Okay, now here’s how this is going to go: everybody lower your weapons or I’m going to toss Buffy’s head over to you.”

No one moved until Angelus tightened his grip, actually cutting off air. All weapons hit the ground, except for Faith’s.

“Now, now Faithy, let’s not play games. Put the crossbow down or your precious cunt dies.”

Faith never wavered:

“Not buyin’ this.”

His other hand reached around to squeeze Buffy’s broken arm, and her gasp of pain made him laugh:

“That’s good because I’m not selling anything.”

“Yeah, you are. I know you, you’re way too smart for this. You had the whole deal planned, question is: why?”

Angelus twisted Buffy’s arm until she cried out, his eyes glittering with menace.

“You know, as much fun as I’m having, I’ve got better things to do. Either drop the crossbow or…”

“Giles, what time ya got?”

“Nearly eight.”

“Exactly?”

“7:56.”

Faith smiled, her gaze never leaving Angelus.

“So whatever happens, happens at 8:00. You needed me and B here in the same room, and all of us away from home. It’s goin’ down at Slayer Central, right?”

“Gee, aren’t you supposed to be all sane now? I mean, call me crazy, but I think paranoid delusions...”

“Oh c’mon, not every day I figure somethin’ out. Least tell me what the real plan is.”

He smiled mockingly at her, tightening his grip on Buffy:

“I am impressed. I never would have thought you’d have the brains to recognize a set-up when you saw one.”

Faith could feel it now, a weird energy was beginning to build in the room like static electricity, and she knew they were almost out of time.

“Yeah, got my moments sometimes.”

Angelus’ grin was smug, the grin of someone who knew he held all the cards:

“Hmm…okay. Since there’s really no time left to stop me, I guess it won’t hurt anything if I give the ‘Villain’ speech that explains everything. You see, in just minutes the ritual’s going to drain all of the energy out of the fake Slayers. You guys unpacked the mechanism that does it. Buff put it on top of the bookcase herself, and before you ask, they make such tiny little cameras nowadays.”

“Thought that vase was butt ugly.”

“The girls won’t die, but the Slayer line will end for a while, and all of that concentrated strength and power is going to flow right into me. See the truth of it is, I don’t want to end the world, I want to rule it. I found out a funny thing happens when you mix a Slayer’s essence with a vampire. It seems that all of those confining rules, you know, avoiding sunlight and stakes through the heart, waiting for an invitation to come in, well all of that stuff will no longer apply. I’ll truly be immortal, not to mention the strongest creature on the planet.”

“None of that’s gonna happen.”

Angelus’ smirk was huge:

“It’s already started and there’s no way to stop it now, not unless you kill me…and we both know you’ll never do that, not with your precious Soulboy’s life at stake…pun intended.”

Kennedy was trying to fade away from the group in the hope that she could sneak around to the back of the house, when suddenly she felt herself weakening and dropped to a knee.

Angelus’ amusement was plain to see as he called out to her:

“And there’s a Slayer down! Bet you wish you were a real one, don’t you? It seems these two are pretty much impervious to the whole energy sucking thing, I guess you could call them the ‘Typhoid Marys’ of your kind. But don’t you worry little girl, I’m going to find other ways to make them suffer.”

Buffy struggled, but Angelus merely strengthened his grip and held her in place.

“You know the thing that amazed me the most? Just how willing people were to help Angel. They were so eager to do things for him, they didn’t even hesitate or question me. Of course, they weren’t so willing to die once they’d served their purpose, but it wasn’t like I could leave anyone alive who actually understood how the ritual was done. It’s so old and complicated, well I’m betting that Rupert and Willow will be dead and gone before they can figure it out.”

Faith just stood there, Buffy’s eyes staring into hers with a sadness Faith had never wanted to see.

He had to be lying. If she could just wound him and get Buffy away from him, they could figure out what to do. She tried to find a clear shot, but Angelus was too smart. He was hunkered down, presenting no open target as he strategically hid his imposing bulk behind Buffy’s tiny frame.

“So what are you gonna to do, Faithy? The only way to stop it now is to kill me, but then your noble hero dies too. Hey, maybe you should try killing Buff! She is the trigger after all, so slaying her will probably work.”

He laughed at the stricken look on Faith’s face.

“And just in case you’re thinking of going all noble, you should know your death won’t stop anything. I just needed you to kick start Buffy’s energy at the right time, and now that you’ve done that, you’re all irrelevant again…just like always.”

No one said a word, and Angelus was almost beaming with delight:

“And FYI to the whole gang, I did my very best to destroy every Orb of Thesula I could find. I might have missed one or two somewhere, but I doubt it. Still, it’s good to have hope, even if it’s pretty hopeless.”

The room felt alive, heavy with the weight of the energy that was beginning to coalesce around them. Kennedy had fallen, no longer able to sit upright.

“I told you before: it’s all about the choices, Faithy. Well, it’s time to make a decision. All you have to do is kill Buffy to get to me, then kill Angel to save the day.”

She stood frozen, not moving a muscle.

“But you’d better hurry, I’d say you’ve got less than a minute to stop what’s about to happen. Well, c’mon on Slayer! It’s your big chance to play the hero.”

She still didn’t move, still didn’t speak as the time counted down.

Angelus laughed as he stared at her:

“You can’t do it, can you? No matter what’s on the line, you can’t kill Angel or Buffy. So tell me, what’s your big plan then? Try to keep me busy long enough for the others to escape? You might be able to pull it off, but you know I’m not going to let you get away. You I’m going to torture to death, but that doesn’t even matter to you, does it? All you care about is getting Buffy to safety and giving your Soulboy savior a chance at survival. You’re hoping that one day they’ll be able to stuff a soul back into me…Sure, that could happen. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. ”

She finally spoke, her voice filled with defeat and pain and sorrow:

“…You win, Angelus.”

He grinned arrogantly at her:

“Of course I do. They say the simplest plans are the best, but it’s the complicated ones that provide the most satisfaction. I played all of you perfectly, especially you, Faithy. I saw firsthand how you’d rather die yourself than kill Angel, and that love you have for him is a weakness that was just begging to be exploited. Then you went and added Buff to the list; well, let’s just say I managed to make good use out of your…”

The bolt flew and pierced Buffy, just missing her heart. It caught Angelus right in the center of his.

“I’m sorry, Angel.”

His eyes flew up to meet hers in an absolute shock, and then he was dust.

Buffy collapsed and everyone rushed over to her. Faith tried, but her legs gave way and she crumpled to the ground. She just sat there, her face a mask of torment, a torment she knew would always be hers. She had just killed Angel, the man she owed everything to.

Angel was dead.

Her attention turned to Buffy, the love of her life, and she tried to go to her again. But this time Xander was with her, his hands holding her firmly in place:

“Faith, just stay still. She’s okay, and you’re hurt too. Let me see.”

She had no idea if she was, the only pain she could feel was on the inside. Her eyes met Buffy’s and what she saw in them was unbearable, and she had to look away. She saw disgust and pain and disbelief, and she knew she could never face her again. Buffy hated her now.

With the one shot, she had lost everything. Her life was over, her world was now only darkness, and it was a darkness she had no chance of ever turning into anything else. She had made her decision and it had cost her everything she held dear. There was no coming back from what she had done, and she knew it.

Buffy’s groan as the bolt was removed had Faith’s eyes returning to her. Giles covered her with his coat, then lifted her carefully into his arms, cradling her gently as he headed to the van. She looked devastated as her tears streamed down her face.

“Faith…”

Said weakly, so weakly that Faith didn’t bother trying to respond.

And then they swept by her, and Xander was trying to help her rise to her feet. She resisted, refusing to budge as her eyes now fixed on the small pile of ashes left behind. She rose slightly, and Xander believing he’d achieved some sort of victory, straightened to his full height as he prepared to lead her to the van. But she merely crawled over to what was left of Angel, her tears flowing so profusely she could barely see.

She reached out a shaking hand, then pulled it back, afraid to feel the finality of what she had done. She turned her face up to Xander’s:

“Please…I need something to put…to put him in.”

“Faith…”

“Xander, please!”

“Okay, I’ll be back in a minute.”

He took off at a jog, and Faith turned her attention back to Angel. Her hand reached out again, and this time she allowed her fingertips to gently brush along the ashes.

“Angel…”

Xander came back with a large manila envelope and a small car brush:

“I think this will work.”

She didn’t respond, so he squatted down next to her:

“Do you want to or do you want me to?”

She seemed unaware of his presence and after a minute, he started doing the job himself.

“No! Don’t touch him!”

Faith snatched the brush and envelope from his hands and began gathering the ashes up by herself. She managed to get most of them into the envelope, but then she began shaking so badly, she couldn’t finish.

Xander gently took the items from her and finished up, carefully sealing the envelope. He crouched with her for a while longer, then lightly rested his hand on her back.

“Faith, we need to go now.”

He waited, but there was no response.

“Faith?”

Her tears were no longer falling, but her gaze never came anywhere near him:

“What?”

”We need to get you home now. Come on.”

She laughed, the sound harsh and painful.

“Don’t have a home, not anymore.”

He guided her to her feet, handing her Angel’s remains as he did.

“Of course you do.”

She looked at him then, her eyes so raw and pain-filled, he could barely hold back his own tears.

“No, that’s all gone now.”

He signaled to the car from the doorway, and Willow came rushing over, her grief and concern etched plainly on her face.

“Faith, we need to get these wounds treated. You’re…”

“Here.”

She thrust the envelope into Willow’s hands:

“Tell B…Tell her…”

She laughed again, the sound totally desolate.

“Tell her whatever she needs to hear.”

She walked out the door, heading away from the van, and Xander grabbed onto her arm:

“Faith, stop. Nobody blames you, you did what you had to do.”

“Doesn’t change shit.”

She tried to walk away again, but Xander tightened his hold.

“Let go of me, Xander.”

He didn’t, and Willow stepped forward:

“Faith, Buffy doesn’t blame you. She…”

“Course she does. Was me who did it.”

“You didn’t have any other choice.”

“Yeah, I did. Just wasn’t the one I chose.”

Willow kept trying:

“She’s unconscious now, but she was asking if you were okay. She…”

Faith walked away, and nothing they said or did could make her turn back. Xander grabbed onto her again with all of his strength, but he was no match and she shrugged him off like he wasn’t even there.

”Will, we have to do something!”

“I know, but I can’t yet...Kennedy!”

Kennedy scrambled out of the van:

“Where’s she going?”

“I’ll explain later, honey, but you have to stop her now.”

Kennedy nodded and ran after her, grabbing an arm and spinning her around. Faith swung, but it was a halfhearted attempt that Kennedy ducked easily. She delivered a powerful uppercut of her own, a blow that dazed Faith, knocking her to the ground.

Kennedy picked her up and carried her back over to where Willow and Xander stood.

“Will, can’t you do anything? I can’t keep hitting her all the way home.”

“I don’t know, maybe. I’ll try.”

Willow murmured a few words as Faith began struggling in Kennedy’s arms, and then she was out cold.

“I’m not sure how long that’s gonna last. Maybe we should put her in the cage?”

Xander took Faith from Kennedy’s somewhat shaky arms:

“I don’t know. Let’s just get the hell out of here.”

Kennedy wrapped her arm around Willow’s shoulders and they all walked to the back of the van. Giles met them, swinging open the rear doors as they approached. Xander gently laid Faith onto the extra-large backseat, and Kennedy lifted her head while Willow slid a pillow underneath it.

“How is she?”

Willow looked near tears again:

“Not good, Giles. She was leaving until Kennedy hit her.”

“I see. Just exactly how hard did you hit her, Kennedy? She seems…”

“I didn’t hit her that hard. Most of it’s because of Will’s spell.”

“Well whatever the cause, it’s clearly for the best. Bloody awful business, this is.”

Xander climbed in:

“I’ll ride back here with her and try to patch her up a little. Will, can you get me some of the first aid stuff?”

“Sure.”

She headed around to the van’s side doors, followed closely by Kennedy. Xander leaned up to glance over the seat at Buffy. She was unconscious and already strapped safely into the custom made bed. It resembled a ship’s bunk, and Xander knew from past experience that it was relatively comfortable.

“Do we need to take Buffy to the hospital?”

Giles looked worried, but there was some relief too.

“No, I don’t believe so. Faith’s shot missed everything vital and we should be able to treat her other injuries as well. I’ve already set her broken arm and Kennedy and I relocated her shoulders to their proper alignment. I’ve sedated her, hopefully she’ll remain unconscious for the duration of the trip. We’ll need to monitor her closely of course, but I expect she’ll be fine in a week’s time, two at the outset.”

“Yeah, physically maybe.”

Giles turned his attention back to Faith:

“Yes, I’d say it’s the ‘mental’ we need be concerned with when it comes to both girls.”

Willow handed Xander the first aid kit over the back of the seat, then sat down in the special swivel chair that was within an arm’s reach of Buffy’s bed.

“Thanks, Will.”

“Let me know if you need any help, or if she wakes up.”

Xander tried to smile, but there was no way he could do it:

“I’m pretty sure we’ll all know if she comes around. Giles, is there enough sedative in case Faith wakes up and wakes up angry?”

“There’s enough for one more dose, but I believe we should save that in case Buffy awakens. She’s in a great deal of pain, and I don’t think she could manage the trip if she were at all alert.”

Kennedy spoke up from her spot in the front passenger seat:

“I’m sorry, I should have packed more. I had no idea it would take so much to knock her out.”

Giles waved her apology aside:

“That’s my mistake, I’m afraid. I should have remembered to tell you that Buffy has always required more than the average Slayer. I’m not at all sure why, she just does.”

Xander tossed some bloody gauze into a plastic bag:

“Well if we have to, we can always try to wrestle Faith into the cage.”

Giles reached in and reset her broken finger. The sound made Xander flinch, but he made no comment as he searched through the first aid kit for splint material.

“Surely not an ideal solution, but one we mustn’t rule out. Hopefully it won’t come to that, but I suggest you stand at the ready just in case, Xander.”

Xander was busy stabilizing Faith’s finger with tape and tongue depressors, but he answered as enthusiastically as he could:

“So ‘hope’ we will. We’ll ‘hope’ like nobody’s business while I stand at the readiest of ready.”

Giles brushed Faith’s hair back from her forehead, then attempted a smile in Xander’s direction:

“Yes, well as it seems you have things well in hand, I’ll concentrate on getting us home safely.”

He started to shut the doors and head to the driver’s seat, but Xander’s voice suddenly young and scared, stopped him:

“Giles, what are we going to do?”

He patted the young man he considered his son, comfortingly on the shoulder:

“Honestly I’m not at all certain, but don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.”

But they were only empty words; they all knew there was nothing left to do except worry.

Xander merely nodded as he began working on what looked like a deep puncture wound on Faith’s leg, and Giles closed the van doors with a resigned sigh. He had not the first idea what to do for either Slayer, and he doubted that the ride home could be counted on to provide much illumination.

Angel was dead, and there was no way to make that okay for anyone. With a heavy heart he started the engine, checked to see that Kennedy was safely secured in the passenger seat, and then he turned the van in the direction of home.

“Bloody awful business.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Three Years Later…

The bar was a dive, and that was a kind and generous description. It was smoke filled and dark, and it was anyone’s guess when it had last been cleaned. But the alcohol wasn’t watered down, the glasses were spotless, and it wasn’t a place anyone would come looking for anybody, not unless they were idiots with a death wish.

There was only one woman in the entire bar. The joint was way too seedy for anyone remotely female to take such a risk, but the woman seated alone in the corner with a half empty bottle of whiskey in front of her wasn’t being harassed, not in the slightest. She was a regular now and they all knew what she was capable of, they’d seen it firsthand.

When she’d strolled in nearly two months ago, she’d seemed like easy pickings. She stepped up to the bar covered in dust from the road, and ordered a bottle of whiskey. The bartender wasn’t a bad guy, and he tried to warn her:

“Best you just leave. There’s a place a few miles up the road where ladies are…”

She cut him off, and the look in her eye made him shut up.

“Maybe you oughta go there then…after you gimme what I asked for.”

He quickly sat a bottle in front of her, and she tossed some money down. When she turned to find a table, two men were standing right behind her.

“You sure are a pretty one.”

“Yeah, I know.”

The other man took a small step closer to her:

“But you got too many clothes on. We wanna see your titties…to start with.”

“First of all, they’re all grown up, so call’em ‘tits’. Second of all, they ain’t as big as yours, fat ass.”

She tried to go around them, but they both sidestepped into her path.

“I got something bigger in my pants for you.”

“Tell ya what, why don’t you give it to him? Looks to me like ya both swing that way anyways.”

They grabbed her then, and the fat one was outraged:

“Bitch, we’re gonna teach you some respect!”

That was the last thing he said. The whiskey bottle shattering upside his head knocked him out cold. His buddy had a tight grip on her other arm, but when she grasped his hand, the sound of his bones breaking could be heard throughout the suddenly quiet bar.

She twisted his arm up behind his back and flung him onto the pool table. He hit hard, but not as hard as his head hit the racked pool balls. He quickly joined his friend in the land of the unconscious.

A large and extremely fit man approached her, a switchblade snicking out to its full length as he got closer:

“That’s my brother you’re fucking with.”

“Not ‘fucking’ with anybody. I don’t do pigs, and from what I’ve seen of your family, well you’re all shit outta luck.”

“How ‘bout I carve my name on your ass before I fuck it?”

“How ‘bout I cut your dick off ‘fore I stuff it up your ass?”

He lunged at her and she kicked him in the balls, taking his knife from him as he bent over. Before she had time to examine it, she tossed it into the shoulder of another man as he rose from his seat at the bar, a length of chain in his hand.

“Listen up, I don’t want trouble. All I want’s a drink and a table to drink it at.”

Three men stood up, obviously they did want trouble and were determined to get it.

She kicked the guy still holding onto his balls right in the head, knocking him out before she shoved him out of the way. Her own knife appeared in her hand as if by magic.

“Then come on ahead. Ya wanna die here in a shithole, be my guest.”

They hesitated, and one of them sat down. He was clearly the smart one. The other two charged her, and she stood calmly and let them come. She slipped past the first one’s punch, and her knife flicked out. He went down screaming, his ear beside him on the floor.

The second one stopped where he was, his face showing nothing but shock and terror. He met her eyes and backed up quickly, then as an afterthought dragged his friend backward by the collar. She kicked the ear after them:

“Might wanna head to the hospital. Not sure if they can stick it back on or not.”

They stumbled out the door, ear in hand, and she heard the car start up as they peeled out.

Everyone’s eyes were now back on their own table and the bartender placed another bottle of whiskey on the bar in front of her, and this time he added a glass.

“Here. On the house.”

She reached down and grabbed the wallet from Mr. Kicked in the Balls, tossing several bills onto the bar top.

“Didn’t ask for any freebies.”

She headed for the table in the corner, and the four men already seated there scrambled to get out of her way. She took the seat that put her back to the wall and poured herself a drink. It didn’t take too long for the bar to get back to normal.

That all seemed like forever ago, and tonight she was just tired and ready to move on. She’d finally taken care of the last nest, and now she considered herself free to go. All she wanted was a place where she could be invisible, a place where nobody looked at her twice, but no matter where she went, she couldn’t seem to find it. There was always something to slay, always someone who wanted to challenge her, and so she kept moving.

She poured herself another drink as the door opened and two men came in. They looked wildly out of place as they scanned the interior, and she sat still, hoping they’d go away. She wasn’t easy to spot, it was dark in her corner, but the younger of the two finally managed to locate her.

The two idiots with a death wish headed over and she quickly downed her drink, trying to prepare herself for what was coming. They sat in the chairs across from her without asking, they already knew what her answer would be.

“Well, to what do I owe this big fucking hassle?”

“Hello, Faith.”

“Giles, Xander. Now we got that outta the way, how ‘bout we cut to the part where I tell ya to fuck off and you leave me alone.”

“I’m afraid it’s not quite that simple.”

She poured herself another drink and picked up her glass.

“Trust me, I’m gonna make it that simple.”

Giles reached over and yanked the glass from her hand, hurling it against the wall. The bottle followed close behind.

Everyone in the bar turned to look at him, but no one said or did anything, not when the newcomers were sitting with her.

“Nice dramatic gesture, but touch my stuff again…”

Her eyes spoke the rest of that sentence, but Giles didn’t back off.

“Are you threatening me, Faith?”

“No Giles, I’m promising you.”

“Ah, so I see you’re still wallowing in self-pity then.”

Her eyes showed just how angry she was, but her voice stayed level:

“Say what the fuck ya came here to say and then get away from me. Self-control’s not what it used to be.”

Xander spoke up before the tension could escalate:

“So Faith, how have you been?”

“Great, couldn’t be better. What do ya want?”

Giles removed his glasses as he stared at her.

“We need you to come with us.”

“Well then you’re fucked, ‘cause I’m not budging.”

Giles reached for her hand, but she pulled back.

“Faith, we wouldn’t be here unless it was imperative that...”

“Yeah? Well I don’t give a shit.”

“We shan’t be able to defeat this foe without your assistance.”

She laughed, a short mirthless bark.

“So what do ya got now? Ten billion Slayers? Ask one of them.”

Giles put his glasses back on as he leaned towards her over the table.

“Of course we considered that, but regrettably, it’s not what’s called for. We need the…How does one put this?”

Xander spoke up:

“We need the real McCoys, the official ‘Accept No Substitute’ Slayers. Both of you.”

A new bottle and glass appeared before her as the bartender arrived and departed without a word.

“I’m outta the slaying business, so run the fuck along now.”

She didn’t bother with the glass, tipping her head back as she swallowed an amount that would have set anyone else’s throat on fire, maybe even literally.

“Wow, your eyes aren’t even watering.”

“Yeah Xander, gotta be a man to chug it.”

She kept the bottle on her lap, far from Giles’ reach.

“Faith, perhaps if you understood the gravity of the situation…”

“Think it’s you who needs to understand. I don’t give a shit. You got a problem? You deal with it. Got my own troubles to worry about.”

She took another enormous slug and Xander wondered how she did it. He knew it wasn’t a Slayer thing because Buffy got drunk on half a beer.

“I see. That’s your final answer then?”

“Yeah, just as final as it gets.”

Giles stood, his look one of disappointment and anger:

“I can’t say it’s been good to see you. It’s been nothing but painful and difficult to witness how far you’ve taken this. You’re a Slayer, Faith. The world depends on you, we depend on you, and perhaps most importantly, Buffy depends on you.”

Pain flashed across her face, but it was gone so quickly, Xander wasn’t sure if it’d really been there.

“Then I guess everybody put their money on the wrong horse.”

“Yes, it certainly seems that way. Come along, Xander.”

“…Bye, Faith.”

They walked out, and as they went, Faith saw four guys get up and follow along behind them. She sighed and took another swig of her whiskey. Giles and Xander weren’t her responsibility, they knew the risks when they came looking for her. Plus, they could take care of themselves…Then three more guys went out the door.

When she got there, Giles and Xander were back to back trying to hold off their attackers. Giles had what looked like a wicked bruise on his cheekbone and Xander’s nose was bleeding steadily.

“Hey boys, this a private party or can anybody join in?”

Two of the men held their hands up in surrender and headed back inside, but the other five spread out in front of her.

“Nothin’ to do with you, bitch.”

“Gotta disagree.”

“They’re not friends of yours.”

Faith smiled:

“Not for you to say. Point is, I don’t want’em fucked with.”

“Well, we’re sick of taking orders from you.”

Faith took a sip of her whiskey.

“Only order I gave ya is ‘don’t screw with me’. Now I’m includin’ them.”

“Fuck you, bitch.”

“Not even in your dreams.”

She tossed her bottle with painful accuracy, and one of her opponents went down, out of the fight for good. She leapt into the air, landing behind the four of them and placing herself in front of Giles and Xander. Her knife came out as she issued her last warning:

“I don’t want this. Just go back inside and it’s over.”

“When we go back in, we’re gonna be dragging your body behind us.”

It took her less than a minute to disable her foes, and the last one she left standing was the big mouth who’d gotten them all into the mess they were now in.

Faith was behind him, her hand yanking his head back by his hair and her knife caressing his neck.

“Got somethin’ else to say?”

“N…No…Please…”

“Told ya to just head in, but no, you had to be a big shot.”

“I’m sorry. I won’t…”

She dug the knife in a little deeper than shallow, then leisurely brought it up to carve a jagged line down the length of his cheek.

“I ever see you again, I’m gonna slit your throat and watch while you bleed to death. Understand?”

“Yes.”

“Now haul it.”

She shoved him and he went sprawling in the dirt. He staggered to his feet and hopped onto his motorcycle, wasting no time as he made his escape. In just moments he was a distant speck on the horizon, nothing but forgotten.

Giles handed Xander a handkerchief to help staunch the flow of blood:

“Thank you, Faith.”

“Yeah thanks, Slay Girl. We were seconds from…”

“Whatever. There’s the road.”

Giles looked resigned, but Xander was nothing but confused.

“But doesn’t this mean you’re coming with us?”

“No. Just means I didn’t think you deserved to die here.”

“But Faith…”

“Xander, let’s just go now.”

Giles grabbed him firmly by the arm, leading him to their car as he continued protesting:

“…we need your help. We’re dealing with…”

“I don’t care.”

She stood there unmoving as they walked the length of the parking lot to reach Giles’ car and then she lit a cigarette.

She couldn’t wait to get out of this shitty little town, she was definitely going to leave tonight. The stars were out, the moon was bright, and there was a perfect breeze blowing. She was going to ride all night until she got lost, so lost she’d be just some girl roaring down the highway on her bike.

The headlights came on as Xander tried to ease the car out of the parking space, the wheels squealing slightly as he turned them hard to the left. He straightened them back out and accelerated slowly, dodging potholes the size of the Grand Canyon as he headed for the exit.

She watched, then sighed, flicking her cigarette into the dirt. She shook her head in disgust, walked the five steps to her motorcycle, then used her knife to cut the strings holding her duffel bag in place on the back of her bike. She casually slung it over her shoulder, then tossed the keys onto the seat and strode out into the middle of the exit, right into the path of the convertible. Xander had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting her.

Without a word she hopped into the backseat, and Xander grinned as he hit the gas. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. The wind felt good as it blew against her face and through her hair. Maybe if she tried hard enough she could pretend she was roaring down the highway on her bike, lost and alone, and not Faith, the Vampire Slayer.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Buffy didn’t know what to do, she had no idea how she should act. Faith was going to be home any minute, finally home after having been gone for two and a half years, and while a big part of Buffy was glad about that, another part said it shouldn’t be that easy.

Not after being disregarded and dismissed as if she meant nothing. Not after Faith had made it so clear that she could not be satisfied with them losing just Angel. No, Faith had needed to make them lose each other as well, and no matter what Buffy said or did, she would not turn from that path.

The first few weeks after Angel died were a blur. Buffy’s grief at losing him was enormous, she couldn’t believe that it had actually happened. It just didn’t seem possible, and the void he’d left behind was a huge one that she knew could never be filled. Angel was gone forever, and she felt the pain of that reality deep down in her soul.

It made her ache and it made it hard to breathe, and she wondered how she was ever going to get over it. She loved him, she had always loved him and she always would. He’d taught her what it was to be a woman and a Slayer, and he had shown her both the good and bad of giving yourself so completely to another. To know that he was no longer going to be there made her profoundly sad and lonely.

But none of that mattered, not when she looked at Faith. The woman she loved was fading away, disappearing rapidly into the blackness of grief and guilt, and Buffy struggled to push aside her own pain as she fought to hold onto her.

In the end it made no difference. Faith couldn’t or wouldn’t turn away from the darkness, and she finally left. There was no big dramatic scene, she’d simply packed a bag and walked out. She’d hopped onto her bike and roared away, and it was then that Buffy began doing what she’d always feared when it came to Faith: she began waiting for her to return.

Each day came and went with Buffy hoping that it would finally be the one that brought Faith back to her. At first she waited hopefully, but as the days turned into weeks and months, nothing remotely near that happened. She was tempted to run after her, but that seemed wrong. Faith obviously wanted space and needed time, at least that was what Buffy told herself again and again.

But then when the weeks and months added up to a year, Buffy had to stop kidding herself and face the inescapable truth: she had lost Faith. When that bolt had run through her and hit Angel’s non-beating heart, he had exploded into dust and he had taken Faith right with him.

Buffy began believing that Faith blamed her for Angel’s death. After all, if she hadn’t been so stupid, she wouldn’t have been taken prisoner by Angelus, and then maybe together they could have found a way to save him. The more she thought about it, the more convinced she became that Faith couldn’t stand the sight of her.

She clung to that theory for far too long because it seemed fixable somehow. It was a problem she could attack and defeat, and once she figured out how to do that, all would be right again. But Buffy couldn’t allow herself the luxury of playing games forever, and she eventually forced herself to face the terrifying and heartbreaking truth: Faith blamed herself with all of the hatred and fury she could muster. It was her own reflection she couldn’t stand looking at.

She had left because she could not stay. Not with Buffy, not with Angel’s room and the false promise of a new start at the opposite end of the hall, and not with the eyes of those who knew him best upon her. She’d run because she’d had to, and Buffy knew that she was never coming back.

They kept track of her, where she was and what she was doing. Although Buffy was positive that Faith would never go back to the way she’d been so long ago, she also knew she might end up coming pretty damn close. But that wasn’t the real reason they tracked her as she traveled all over the country. They tracked her because she was one of them, and because Buffy loved her.

Faith never stayed anywhere for long. She chose the loneliest, darkest, most dangerous places she could find, and she tried to hide there. But invariably, just like clockwork, something would happen. Vampires would attack a diner she was eating at, demons would terrorize the ratty motel she was living in. Somehow, someway, someone would need her help.

She tried, but she could never quite manage to turn her back. She would end up running to the rescue, risking her life to help people she didn’t know, people she would never know, and then she would ride off, leaving behind her what she saw as a swath of violence, pain, and death.

She would never stick around to receive any thanks for the good she had done, she would never once look back at all the lives she had saved. Each time she would roar off to the next dive she could find, the seedier the better, the more dangerous, the more she would frequent it.

Even though she did nothing to cause it, she drew potential lovers like honey drew flies. She turned them all down for a long time, eventually giving in sometimes to small blonde girls. She fucked them when she had to, then left without so much as a backward glance.

There had been nine of them so far, Buffy was keeping track of each and every one. She had made no secret of her need to know, telling Willow straight out:

“I have to know, Will. Please don’t keep it from me.”

Faith was plainly miserable, yet still she would not come home. She just kept right on running and as much as Buffy loved her, she could not stop the hurt from finally taking control. Even though she fully understood why Faith was doing what she was doing, it eventually didn’t seem to count for much.

What ended up counting the most was that Faith had left her all alone to deal with the giant and painful hole Angel’s death had created, and then Faith had compounded that pain by making Buffy live without her as well. It was too much, it was too hard, and Buffy responded in the only way she could: with anger.

She convinced herself that Faith didn’t care about her, not really. She couldn’t have just left like she did, at least not for so long, if she really gave a damn. Buffy could take a lot and she could understand a lot, but she could not ignore two and a half years.

Two and a half years wasn’t a glitch. Two and a half years was a desertion, a statement, a betrayal of insurmountable proportions. It was over between them, way, way over, and that was just the sad truth.

But there was still a part of her that couldn’t let go, even though she wanted to. She still loved Faith, and even knowing that she shouldn’t, well that didn’t make it change. Faith was the one, she would always be the one no matter what, and Buffy knew that was just the way it was. Yet she also knew that she was no one’s doormat, and painful experience had taught her that she had to protect herself.

She was happy that Faith was coming home, but she pushed that feeling down so deep, she barely even felt the slightest twinge of excitement. What she felt instead was an anger that was nothing but cold, a rage that had her erecting a shell around herself that was about twenty miles thick.

She was not getting hurt again, she was not going to leave herself out in the open. She had already put it all on the line for Faith, and what she had received for her efforts was an arrow through her heart, almost literally.

Buffy stood in front of the mirror in her room and looked as deeply into her own eyes as she could. They revealed no secrets and they told no tales beyond what she already knew, and what she knew was this: Faith could kiss her ass. With that thought firmly in her heart and mind, Buffy took a deep breath, opened her door, and headed downstairs to greet the new arrival.

**************************

Faith felt her hands trembling, so she shoved them into her pockets. Her bag was slung over her shoulder as she entered the lobby with her two escorts, and her demeanor looked confident and calm, but inside she was anything but. She wanted a cigarette or a drink, anything that would give her something else to do with her hands.

The lobby was thankfully deserted except for Willow and Kennedy who were sitting on the sofa facing the door, and Faith braced herself for anything.

“Faith!”

Kennedy was up and wrapping her tight in a hug that lifted her slightly off her feet. She finally let go after a minute, and that embrace coupled with the huge smile on her face, made it crystal clear just how happy she was to see Faith.

“Boy, have I missed you. This place just isn’t the same when you’re not here.”

“Nice to see you too, Trust Fund.”

Willow approached with a lot more restraint, but she offered a hug as well. Although she looked glad to see her, her eyes also revealed a worry and an anger that Faith knew was all on Buffy’s behalf.

It made Faith smile despite herself to see it. She loved how much Willow loved Buffy, and her response was almost exuberant because of it.

“Red, you’re lookin’ good.”

“Thanks. You’re looking…uh…well, dangerous actually, but it’s good to have you home.”

“Yes Faith, how nice of you to come back.”

Faith looked up at the sound of that voice and watched as Buffy descended the stairs.

She was too thin, but she was still beautiful. Her eyes locked onto Faith’s, and neither Slayer seemed able to look away. Buffy walked over to her, stopping just a few paces out of reach, and Faith had to fight with herself to stay where she was. She could smell Buffy’s delicious scent from where she stood, and it seemed to be calling her forward.

“B.”

Something flared in Buffy’s eyes, but was gone in an instant, replaced by a hardness that Faith had seen only once before…the night Buffy had stabbed her. She shivered and stepped back, but Buffy didn’t seem to notice or if she did, she didn’t care. She walked past Faith, dismissing her as if she didn’t matter, and addressed her question to Giles:

“Did you brief her on what’s been going on?”

Giles remained silent a beat longer than was necessary before he answered:

“Yes, although I suspect after something to eat, a shower and a good night’s sleep, we should all sit down and go over things together.”

Her eyes found Faith’s again, and Faith forced herself not to look away from the icy disdain that was drilling a hole right through her.

“So will you be sticking around or off and running at the first sign of trouble?”

Faith knew Buffy had every right to be angry, but she could feel her own temper rising whether it was justified or not:

“Fucking here, aren’t I?”

Buffy walked closer to her, her face revealing her disgust:

“For now you are, but I think we’ve all learned that’s not something we can count on. Sorry if that upsets you, but I just don’t have the time to coddle you anymore.”

“Didn’t ask you to.”

Buffy smiled, but it never reached her eyes, and the sight of it almost made Faith turn tail and run.

“Good to know you’re not as stupid as I always thought you were. You’re only needed for a few days, then you’re free to run off again like the coward you really are.”

Faith stood there with her fists clenched, trying to figure out if she wanted to slug Buffy or fuck her. She decided she wanted to do both, but kept her hands securely in her pockets as she turned to face Giles:

“Where can I bunk?”

Before he answered, Buffy spoke up:

“You’ll be on the couch in my room.”

The “my” did not escape Faith’s notice, but she ignored it to raise her protest:

“Think I’ll take a spare room, but thanks for the offer.”

“It wasn’t an offer. There are no spare rooms for the next few days, it’s ‘Parents’ Week’ and we’re full. If you don’t like those accommodations, Angel’s room is still empty.”

Faith flinched visibly at the sound of the name she’d been avoiding, as well as the cold and cutting way in which it had been said. Her eyes went down to the floor as she tried to compose herself, but Buffy wasn’t in the mood to offer any mercy or timeouts:

“So, which is it? The couch or Soulboy’s room?”

“…Couch is fine.”

“I thought it would be…F.”

Without another word Faith turned and headed up the stairs, leaving silence and strain behind her in the lobby. Buffy watched her every step of the way until she was out of sight, and then felt a gentle hand on her shoulder:

“Are you okay?”

“…Yeah, Will, I’m just peachy.”

Kennedy could barely contain herself:

“God, Buffy, do you have to be that big of a bitch? Maybe you could…”

Buffy turned to look at her:

“Mind your own business, Kennedy.”

“Or what?”

“Or find yourself in a situation I promise you’ll regret.”

Kennedy stood up:

“Is that a threat?”

“Yes, it is.”

Willow stepped between them:

“Whoa, guys! Let’s not lose our perspective here…not that we’ve had any for several minutes now.”

“She’s my friend, Buffy, that makes it my business.”

Buffy shoved Willow aside and stepped closer to Kennedy:

“Really? Well don’t take this the wrong way, but your taste in friends is severely lacking. ”

Kennedy stepped closer as well until they were separated by mere inches:

“You might have a point because you’re my friend too, and you’re acting like a real ass right now.”

Giles tried to intervene:

“Girls, please. Things are tense enough without the two of you…”

“Are you all done running your mouth, Kennedy, because I’ve heard more than enough.”

“No, I’m not done, Buffy. I don’t care how upset you are, you keep your goddamn hands off Willow.”

Willow tried to pull Kennedy back, but she wasn’t moving.

“And if I don’t?”

“Then I’m going to kick your ass.”

Buffy smiled:

“Ooh, terrifying. You’d better call your ‘friend’ back down here to help you, that’s about the only chance you have of taking me.”

“Oh, yeah?”

Giles began walking toward them:

“Girls, I insist you stop this before someone gets…”

“Hey, I know what you can do, Kennedy. Why don’t you go help Faith deal? I mean, you did such a great job of it three years ago.”

“Fuck you, Buffy. At least I tried to be there for her instead of spending my time grieving for some vamp who needed killing way before he got what was…”

Buffy unleashed a blow aimed directly at Kennedy’s face, but it never connected. Both Slayers were thrown to the floor on opposite sides of the room with enough force to knock the wind out of them.

“I said we’re all going to keep our perspective, but if the two of you don’t stop this right now, I’m afraid I just might lose mine.”

“But Will, she’s acting like a…”

“Be quiet, Kennedy.”

Buffy practically snarled:

“Yeah shut up, Kennedy or I’m....”

Buffy found herself yanked to her feet by an angry witch:

“You be quiet too and come with me.”

Willow led her into Giles’ office by the arm.

“Ow! Will, you’re hurting me!”

“You’ll live.”

She didn’t let go until she’d shoved Buffy into the room and closed the door firmly behind them.

“Okay, talk.”

Buffy stood looking at her defiantly:

“About what?”

“About what just happened.”

“Well, your wife was getting out of line and I…”

Willow’s voice rose and she did not look happy:

“Buffy Anne Summers, you know very well that I’m referring to Faith!”

Buffy turned and walked over to look out the window:

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Hey come on, don’t do this. I’m on your side, remember?”

Buffy said nothing and continued staring out into the darkness, longing to be in the midst of it where she belonged. A minute passed before she felt Willow hugging her from behind.

“Hello, best friend of mine? If you don’t talk to me, I’m going to…I’m going to do something really mean to you.”

“Like what?”

“Well I don’t know yet, but you can bet it’s going to be bad.”

Buffy laughed and turned around to face her.

“I’m sorry, Will. I’m just…I’m just……I guess I don’t know what I am.”

“Understandable.”

She took Buffy’s hand and led them over to the big, comfy leather couch.

“Let’s sit down.”

Neither of them said a word as they got settled. Buffy looked ready to bolt, so Willow held onto her hand.

“Buffy, I’m not judging you, honest. I’d probably be acting the exact same way, but…”

“But you don’t want me killing your wife.”

“Yes…No…I mean I don’t care about that. What I’m worried about is you. I was worried before we decided to bring Faith back here, and nothing I just saw makes me worry any less. How are you going to deal with her when…”

Buffy tried to pull away, but Willow wouldn’t let go of her hand, and Buffy finally stopped struggling.

“Will, I just saw her for the first time in forever. Of course I was whatever I was, but I can so control myself enough to do my job. You don’t need to worry.”

Willow blew out an irritated breath:

“Could you not do that? You know I know that you’re the Slayer, of course you’ll get the job done. You could even work with Parker if…Okay, maybe not with that icky creep because hey, who could? I know you’ll focus on the job when the time comes.”

“Well then what’s the big…”

“I’m talking about you, the ‘Buffy’ you. This is such a huge emotional thing and you’re trying to be all unemotional about it, which is making your emotions come out all ‘grrr’ and mean and Big Bitchy of the West. Maybe talking about your feelings would…”

Buffy stood up and began pacing:

“I can’t talk about them, I can barely stand to feel them, and besides, I don’t even know what I’m feeling anyway.”

Willow patted the couch next to her until Buffy sat back down.

“Well based on what I just saw, I’d say you’re feeling pretty angry and hurt.”

“Yeah…well, yeah. How else can I feel? She just took off and left me.”

“And it was horrible, but Buff…”

Buffy wiped at her eyes angrily:

“No, I am not going to cry. I’m all done crying over her, no more.”

“See, that’s just the kind of thing I’m talking about. You can’t stop how you’re feeling, it’s how you feel.”

Buffy stood up again, her expression telling Willow that the discussion was definitely over.

“I don’t have time to feel anything. We need to stop these guys, and I seriously doubt they’re going to wait until I go through all of my emotions. I’ll just have to deal later.”

“Buffy…”

“Will, I know you mean well, but I can’t…not if I’m going to keep functioning.”

“But…”

“I’m going to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Willow looked at her for a long moment:

“No, it’s not okay, but okay.”

Buffy bent down and kissed her on the cheek:

“I’m sorry I shoved you before.”

“I know.”

“Don’t worry, Will. It’ll be fine.”

She left the room with what Willow knew was supposed to be a reassuring smile, but they’d been friends way too long for that to fool either one of them.

Willow leaned back on the couch with a sigh, and listened to Buffy apologizing to Kennedy. After a few minutes she heard her friend’s footsteps crossing the lobby and heading for the stairs, and it wasn’t much longer before her wife came looking for her:

“Hey, everything good?”

Willow stood up, straightening the throw pillows as she rose.

“Yes, but no. She’s being all ‘Buffy’ on me.”

“Yeah, she looked pretty scary even when she was apologizing to me.”

“I think you’d better try to stay out of it as much as you can. Maybe that way you won’t get maimed or disfigured or killed.”

Kennedy pulled Willow to her:

“Wow, are you saying you don’t think I can take her?”

Willow smiled:

“Honey, not even if she has an arm tied behind her back.”

“I’ll have you know I’m a Slayer too, and a damn good one.”

Willow kissed her softly:

“Yes, you are. In fact, I’d say you’re the third best Slayer in the whole wide world.”

Kennedy tried to look angry, but she couldn’t quite hide her smile:

“Boy, are you ever lucky I’ve changed. The old me wouldn’t have taken this insult nearly as well.”

“True, but the old you was a bit of a brat, and the new you is my smart, sexy, happy, secure wife who can handle the truth.”

Kennedy kissed her passionately, and when she eased back, she didn’t go very far:

“As long as I’ve got you, Will, I can handle anything.”

“Me too, about you. Come on, let’s go to bed. We’re going to need lots of rest to make it through the next few days.”

“But we don’t have to go right to sleep, do we?”

“Hmm…I think I can manage to stay awake for awhile.”

They headed up the stairs, Kennedy trailing behind Willow as they held hands. She was mumbling faintly under her breath, and Willow had to concentrate hard in order to make out her words:

“Bet if you tied both hands behind her back, I could take her.”

*****************************

Buffy approached her suite as confidently as she could. She was going to ignore Faith completely and just head straight into the bedroom. She was going to close the door and block out the rest of the world, and she was going to get a good night’s sleep if it killed her.

She scooped up the mail from the little table outside her front door and went in without breaking her stride. She felt relieved when she discovered that Faith was nowhere in sight. That meant she had to be in the kitchen or someplace that was else, and whichever one was the case, Buffy was extremely grateful.

It gave her a clear shot to her bedroom and she didn’t waste any time in heading there. She walked into her room and locked the door behind her for good measure, then blew out a huge sigh of relief. At least she no longer felt like she had to be on the alert, maybe now she could unwind.

Kicking off her shoes as she sat down on the bed, she rifled through the mail. There was a postcard from Dawn stating that she was totally loving her European jaunt. Ostensibly off on a Slayer recruiting mission, Dawn was also making it into a well-deserved vacation. She was currently visiting old friends in Rome and apparently having a blast. Her hurried scribbling made Buffy smile: at least one of them was happy.

She tossed the rest of the mail onto her nightstand where it promptly slid off the back side and onto the floor, joining yesterday’s mail as well as all of the days before for the entire month. Promising herself she’d pick it up first thing in the morning, she removed her shirt and then her bra with a sigh of pleasure.

Her muscles were all bunched up and she stretched, trying to get them to relax. It didn’t work, so she decided that a hot bath might be just the thing to help her loosen up. It was a long shot for sure, but she was more than willing to give it a try.

She’d just stripped down to her panties when her bathroom door swung open. A naked Faith emerged from out of the billowing, fragrant steam that seemed to be struggling frantically to escape the confines of the muggy room.

“B!”

Buffy wanted to talk, to say something particularly cutting, but the words wouldn’t come. All she could do was let her eyes roam hungrily up and down Faith’s body, taking in every square and beautiful inch of it.

Faith blushed, a rare occurrence, but she made no attempt to cover up or leave the room. She merely stood where she was, her gaze flicking rapidly between Buffy’s eyes and breasts, and it took some time before Buffy could summon up the strength to break the spell they both seemed to be under.

She grabbed her shirt from the bed, and held it up to her chest:

“What the hell are you doing in my room?”

Faith’s voice came out with even more huskiness than usual:

“Was takin’ a shower.”

“There’s a perfectly good shower out there.”

“Yeah, but this one’s got the fancy heads.”

“Well that’s just too bad because I don’t want you in here.”

“My room too, B.”

Buffy’s anger ratcheted up to a dangerous level, just like that.

“Really, Faith? Well I’m sorry, but when it reached the two year mark, your rights and privileges were revoked. This is my room now, and you’re not welcome in it anymore. It was my mistake that you ever were.”

The pain flashed in her eyes, but Faith quickly hid it:

“Okay, you win the pissing contest. No idea you’d be up here so soon. Sorry.”

She unlocked the door and started to leave, but Buffy had more to say:

“And have you ever heard of a towel?”

Faith turned slowly, looking Buffy up and down before she answered:

“Yeah, I’ve heard of’em, but just like always you didn’t put any in the closet.”

“Well there are plenty in the other bathroom, so go there.”

“…You’ve lost weight.”

Buffy clutched onto her shirt even tighter:

“Thin’s in.”

“But skinny’s not. B, you really need to…”

“Save the concern for someone who gives a damn what you think.”

“…”

“And close the door behind you.”

*******************************

Tossing and turning was not something Buffy enjoyed, especially not when she’d been doing it for more than three hours. She sighed as she rolled over and sat up on the side of the bed. A quick glance at the clock on the nightstand showed her it was only 3:19.

She desperately wanted to go slay something, many somethings, but Giles had put them all on a “No Slay” schedule for the time being. Plus the only way out was past Faith, and Buffy knew there was no way she could make her escape without being heard.

The kitchen was past Faith too, and the only TV was in the same room as the couch, just a few feet from where she was most likely getting a good night’s sleep. That all added up to Buffy having nothing to do, so she laid back down and stared up at the ceiling, illuminated just enough by the moonlight shining through the window. She began a familiar routine, counting all of the cracks and trying to make the various bumps and shapes into patterns that were recognizable.

It was what she had done many a sleepless night over the last thirty months, but tonight it did nothing for her. Everything just looked like Faith. Her eyes, her lips, her dimples, her breasts, her arms, her legs, her butt, her…

Buffy rolled over and pulled the covers up to her neck as she snuggled in comfortably. Her body wasn’t fooled, not in the slightest. She wasn’t comfortable, she was miserable and she was horny, and she felt like she was crawling out of her skin.

Her mind said it wanted no part of Faith, but her body wasn’t about to lie to her so easily. It wanted Faith, and it wasn’t at all reluctant to explain that to every little part of her. It had her thrumming and throbbing, and it was impossible to sleep when every last bit of her felt like it was on fire.

A rhythmic grunting noise suddenly grabbed her attention, and the more she listened to it, the more it grabbed at her right between her legs.

“She couldn’t be…She wouldn’t…”

Spoken softly and incredulously, but also hopefully because this was something she definitely wanted to see…and she wanted to see it right now.

She crept silently to the bedroom door and opened it without a sound, just far enough so that she could peer through it. Unfortunately she couldn’t see the sofa, so she swung the door open further and braced herself for the glorious sight of Faith “indulging” herself.

But the stupid sofa lay empty. Faith was on the floor next to it, dressed in a white tank top and a pair of men’s boxers, the silk red ones that Buffy had spent more than a few nights peeling off of her. She was doing pushups one after the other, and she’d obviously been at it for a while.

The same moonlight that had kept Buffy company in her bed was now shining its glow on Faith, seeming to caress her as she smoothly pushed her body up and down. The silvery shimmer revealed the light sheen of sweat glistening on the skin that slid along the rippling muscles, muscles that were working in a perfect harmony to do Faith’s bidding.

Buffy felt lightheaded and her heart began to race itself into a frenzy, taking her right along with it. She stopped breathing, watching the show with her eyes open

as wide as she could get them to go. Everything in her urged her forward, and she struggled to stay where she was.

She told herself she wasn’t an animal, that she wasn’t ruled by the need for sex or anything else, but deep down inside she knew that wasn’t quite true. She was an animal, an animal that was craving its mate who’d been missing for way too long, and she knew all of the beauty on display was hers for the taking, or at least it was supposed to be.

The feeling was primal, it was basic, and it was the hardest thing she’d ever had to resist. Each time those magnificent arms pushed that spectacular body upward, a blast of air escaped from perfectly formed lips, a grunting sound that Buffy had heard so many other times in so many other places.

It used to be a sound she would strive to create, thrusting in and out until she heard it, then increasing the pace until it was all she could hear. She would feel the hot breath as it blew out, feel the wet heat and the tightening around her fingers until the little squeak she loved more than any other sound in the world announced that she had done it, she had caused Faith to lose control.

She would keep going, holding on tight and riding it out with the only person who had ever made her feel like she was right where she belonged. She would keep at it until all of the walls collapsed, and it was then that Faith would let her in…No, it was then that Faith would pull her in.

Her strong hands would grasp at Buffy’s back, her powerful legs would wrap themselves tightly around her, forcing them ever closer as the moment approached. She would cry out Buffy’s name, screaming it with the strength of everything they felt for each other, and just that sound alone would drive Buffy to her own…

“You gonna just stand there all night?”

The raspy voice interrupted her, jarring her back to reality. Faith was still doing her pushups, and Buffy had to make herself drag her eyes away. Flights of fancy weren’t a good thing right now, especially sexual flights of fancy that had her on the verge of doing something incredibly stupid.

“No, I’m on my way to the kitchen.”

Faith jumped to her feet:

“Late night snack sounds good. Give us a chance to talk.”

Buffy met her eyes, her voice like ice:

“I don’t want to talk. I just want some milk.”

“How ‘bout I whip us up some pancakes? I’m starvin’ and…”

Buffy walked past her like she wasn’t even there, entering the kitchen and flipping on the light. Faith stopped in the doorway, watching silently as she poured herself a glass of milk and took a small sip. When Buffy turned to leave, she found that Faith was effectively blocking the exit

“B…”

“Get out of my way.”

“Why don’t ya sit down and keep me company?”

“I don’t want to. Besides, I think you’ve made it more than clear you really don’t want my company.”

Faith paled slightly, but she didn’t move.

“That’s not true. I…B, please sit down. Look, I’m sorry I left like I did and I know you’re mad, but come on. We can at least be friends and hear each other out. I just…”

“We’re not friends, Faith, not even close. Now get out of my way before I move you.”

Faith looked at her, seeming to debate whether she should move or not. It took her a minute, but she finally stepped back and let Buffy pass.

“Gonna have to talk sooner or later.”

Buffy didn’t turn around:

“No, we’re not. This job will be done in a few days, and then you can run off and beat yourself up for the rest of your life. I’m done letting you hurt me too.”

The bedroom door closed and Faith heard the lock engage. She stood where she was for a few minutes, then with a sigh she turned off the light and returned to the couch. It sure was great to be back home.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Buffy was up early, but Faith was already gone. Downstairs or for good, the odds seemed even. She knew in some ways she wasn’t being fair, after all Faith had come back to help, and talk about a definite “even odds” scenario. Still, being fair was way, way beyond her capability at the moment, it probably would be forever.

She headed down to the main kitchen; she was starving and hoping that Andrew had whipped up something she could eat on the go. The meeting with Giles wasn’t scheduled for three more hours, so she planned to have breakfast at her favorite spot by the lake. If she hung around in the cafeteria, invariably one of the newer girls would want to introduce her to their parents, and Buffy just didn’t feel like making nice today.

She scooted past the dining room where the parents and their kids were, and took the “Staff Only” entrance into the kitchen. Andrew was busy instructing the various employees, but he smiled and walked over when he caught sight of her.

“Good morning, fair lady. What brings you here so early?”

“Morning. Listen, I’m way over on the cranky side today, so could you just load me up so I can get out of here?”

He nodded sagely:

“Ah, the reappearance of the Dark Slayer, the Rogue known as ‘Faith’ has you a little…”

“Andrew, just give me the food, okay?”

He suddenly looked nervous:

“You know I’d love to.”

“…But?”

“Uh…Well, Giles said I couldn’t. He said you needed to make an appearance in the cafeteria, something about how you’re shirking your responsibilities. Sorry.”

She stepped closer to him, backing him up until he was pinned between her and the counter.

“Andrew?”

“B…Buffy?”

“When you think about it, all things considered, who’s scarier: me or Giles?”

He gulped loudly, an anxious smile wavering on his face:

“One Slayer style breakfast coming right up!”

“Thank you.”

She sat down on a nearby stool and watched him assemble a large bag of food for her, also filling a thermos with coffee and another with orange juice. When he was finished, he presented it all with a big flourish:

“For my favorite Slayer on this most glorious morn.”

“It smells yummy.”

He looked around the room, then leaned in to whisper conspiratorially:

“And your secret is safe with me…unless Giles gets really mad, of course.”

She smiled, still amazed at what a wimp he was:

“Of course, that goes without saying.”

“But there is something you should know.”

They both whirled around in a panic to face the kitchen door:

“Yes, Mrs. Jackson. I believe Ms. Summers shall be down fairly soon. Yes, Jennifer is quite right, Ms. Summers is an amazingly cool Slayer.”

Buffy snatched a tablecloth as she ran out the “Staff Only” door:

“Thanks, Andrew!”

“You’re welcome, but…”

She was already gone, and Andrew knew she was most likely in for an unpleasant surprise. He probably should have told her as he got her food ready, but she had made him a little too nervous to think clearly.

“Good morning, Andrew. Any sign of Buffy yet?”

“Hi, Giles. Haven’t seen her!”

Giles stood there watching as Andrew prepared a plate for him:

“Yes, and you expect me to believe that because?”

Andrew didn’t answer for a minute, but when he handed Giles his breakfast, the rare display of determination on his face revealed just how much he loved the Slayer:

“Because she really looked like she needed some alone time.”

Giles took a bite of a crispy bacon strip:

“Mmm…perfect. Yes, I suppose you’re right. Another day couldn’t really hurt anything, and Faith’s homecoming is most upsetting for her. I wish I could come up with a way to make this easier on both of them.”

“Ahhh…but I’m afraid the Slayers have a long road ahead, one fraught with peril, intrigue, and romance as these two star-crossed lovers struggle…”

“Andrew, really. Must you weave a story about everything that happens around here?”

Andrew grinned at him:

“Eggs with so many paths to take: scrambled, fried, sunny side up. Each one attempting to fulfill the destiny laid out for them by an unseen and unknowable force, seeking only the...”

Giles rolled his eyes, and clapped the younger man affectionately on the shoulder:

“I shall leave you to your dramatic meanderings as I go about enjoying this delicious breakfast with the soon to be disappointed Jackson family.”

“Adieu, wise and brave Watcher.”

*****************************

Buffy was thrilled to find that her secret spot was still secret and unoccupied. She’d more than half expected to see Faith sitting there as it used to be their place to go whenever they wanted to get away from everyone and everything. Thankfully Faith had either forgotten or didn’t feel all that sentimental about it, because she was nowhere in sight.

Buffy spread the stolen tablecloth on the ground, sat down, and started digging into her tasty breakfast which she didn’t taste a bite of. She wasn’t eating for pleasure, she was eating for necessity, and it didn’t take her long to finish. When she was done, she tossed everything back into the bag and poured herself a cup of coffee. The sun was still low, there was dew on the grass, and the squirrels and birds were going about their business all around her. She let out a sigh and tried to relax.

It was peaceful by the lake, but it didn’t help. There was no peace in Buffy as much as she wanted there to be, her thoughts were just too troubled to turn off at will. She wasn’t exactly surprised that she was upset, who wouldn’t be when the love of their life suddenly reappeared after being gone for two and a half years?

God, Faith had been gone for so long, but in some ways it seemed like it’d been only days since she’d last seen her. Buffy wasn’t trying to deny that she still had feelings for her, but what did that matter? Faith had effectively killed any chance they’d had of making it work when she’d just walked away, whatever the reason, whatever the justification. A desertion like that was not something someone could just get over; at least Buffy didn’t see how she could.

And then of course there was the way that Faith was talking to her now…like she thought they could just pick up where they’d left off. Like she could just carve Buffy’s heart out with a dull knife, juggle it around, stomp on it, and then roar over it on her motorcycle as she took off for parts unknown. Faith was clearly either delusional or a fool, and Buffy didn’t particularly see any reason to rule out either one.

She sat quietly and watched the sun rising higher in the morning sky. She drank her coffee and tried to focus on anything besides her ex-lover, but there was really nothing else she could think about. It was apparently going to be all Faith, all the time, and there was nothing to be done about it.

Faith looked so hard and tired, like she’d been fighting and running for two and a half years. Her eyes looked sad and haunted, and despite everything, Buffy wanted to open her arms and offer her comfort. She wanted to bring Faith in close and tell her that everything would be okay, that she could finally rest now…that they could both finally rest now.

Because Buffy had never felt so exhausted in her entire life. While it was true that she was furious with Faith and wanted to return the hurt she’d been given, there was still that troublesome part of her that only wanted to soothe and offer sanctuary. It was a battle that was already taking too much out of her, maybe because she knew it was a battle she could never win.

It was obvious that no matter what, no matter why, Buffy loved the selfish, stupid, troubled, intense, dangerous, sad-eyed girl that had now come back home. It was wrong, it wasn’t smart, but Buffy couldn’t stop herself.

She also couldn’t relent or trust Faith enough to let her back in. That was over between them, and there was no way to get it back. She’d been hurt too much and would never again put herself in a position to receive that kind of pain. Faith had given her all she could stand for the rest of her life, and Buffy wasn’t going to be a martyr or an idiot for anyone.

She sat there sipping her coffee, remembering so many things…Faith laughing with Angel, Faith stomping around in the middle of a temper tantrum because Buffy had once again thrown away her cigarettes, Faith making love to her with such desire and passion, both of them shaking with their need for each other.

It was so easy to feel those hands on her body, the way Faith would touch her like she was the most precious thing in the world, the way she would literally worship her. She could see those dark eyes that never failed to light up with joy at the sight of her, that happy smile creasing with the best dimples ever created.

She thought of the way Faith had struggled to change, how she had learned to relax and trust in the love that Buffy had freely offered to her. She thought of Faith’s wonder and amazement when she finally realized she could do it, she really could be in love and let herself be loved in return.

Buffy could see her slaying, the wildness more restrained than when they were younger, but still so ferocious and savage, and so totally Faith. She recalled the darkness that was still so deadly, but controlled with a great effort in a hard fought, hard won battle of good over evil…a battle that Buffy knew cost Faith a high price every single day.

She thought of all that as she sat there, the tears rolling down her face as she contemplated everything they’d lost. Buffy still wanted her, missed her like a vital piece of herself that had been roughly removed, but she would not let that matter, she couldn’t. Faith was lost to her, more so now than she’d ever been, and if Buffy could have pulled them back in time, she would have.

She would much rather be young and foolish again than be where they were now. She would willingly repeat that horrible moment when she stabbed Faith and then watched her painfully and deliberately fall back off the roof. Because even with all of the passion and love and spite they’d both felt back then, even with all of the anger and betrayal and violence that had swirled so painfully around them, it had never felt hopeless…not like it did now.

Buffy gave in, dropping her head down to rest upon her upraised knees as she sat sobbing out her heartache. Faith was truly gone from her now, even though she was finally home. It was just too late, there was no going back.

They’d stood a better chance when they’d been trying to kill each other. There’d been more hope with the thrust of a knife and a last “fuck you” fall from a roof onto a passing truck bed. Now there was nothing and no hope of anything more. It was all just broken beyond repair, and that knowledge was what had Buffy hurting in ways she’d never even imagined she could.

Her tears lasted a long time, but eventually she forced herself to push them away. She was the Slayer, there was an apocalypse brewing, and she had a job to do, a world to save…just like always. There was no time to be a woman anymore, a woman who felt blown apart and devastated.

She was Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, and so she wiped away her tears, straightened her shoulders and picked up her stuff. It was time she headed off to meet her destiny.

“Yippee.”

*************************

“Sonofabitch!”

Faith tossed the broken cigarette into the nearby bushes. Her very last smoke and it was snapped in two, the filter half too low to even get a drag off of. That was what she got for leaving the nearly empty pack in the pocket of her very tight pants.

She was antsy as hell, and even the great view and relaxed setting weren’t helping her out all that much. Of course all of the memories currently smashing their way through what was left of her meager defenses, weren’t exactly working for her either. She wished she could go slaying, killing things sounded just right, but since the sun was already peeking up over the horizon, well that avenue of stress relief was way out.

There was no point in just standing around staring at the water, but then there wasn’t much point in her doing anything when it came right down to it. She was a fuck up, a Class A, Major Felony fuck up anyway anybody sliced things, and she could no longer stand it.

Being back home had opened her eyes, cleared out the cobwebs, and gotten her brain working again, just like that. She knew now that she had done it all wrong, every last bit of it. She was so far down the wrong path, she couldn’t even see where the right one was anymore, and she knew there was no sense in trying to backtrack to find it. She knew the time had passed when she could just do things the “right way”, that approach wasn’t going to get her out of the shit she was in.

She was fucked up and she was fucked, all by her own design, and she needed to figure things out fast. There was no more time to waste, no more time to dick around while she dug herself in deeper and deeper. Fuck the “right” path, she was going to have to hack herself out a brand new one.

A running start and a Slayer-sized leap took her upward until she caught a sturdy limb. She hauled herself up higher again and again, until she made it safely to the snug crook about halfway up the giant tree.

It went a long way towards settling her down when she saw that the view from her favorite spot was still just the same, and she took a few deep breaths to get herself focused on what needed her attention the most. She still wished she had a cigarette, but she didn’t, so she wasn’t going to dwell on it. It also would’ve been nice to have had some decent chow, but she was so early, Andrew hadn’t had a chance to get anything going yet.

She’d just scarfed up some of yesterday’s leftover doughnuts and a huge glass of orange juice, and told him she’d be back later. He’d tried to get her to stay:

“But Faith, I can have something ready in twenty minutes. Come on, just…”

“Nah, got places to go. But thanks for the invite, Andy.”

So she was still hungry, but the main thing she was, was tired…a deep down, bone weary tired that made her want to sleep for a billion years. She felt like she could snooze the rest of her life away, just blissfully dreaming of an alive and smiling Angel, of herself safe and sound and loved, and of Buffy, the woman who was absolutely everything to her.

Yeah, it was definitely a “dream on” sitch, one that not even an idiot would waste a second thinking about. Faith was a lot of things, but she knew she wasn’t an idiot, at least not that kind. What she was, was a dumb fucker, just about the stupidest one ever, but she was hoping she still had a few brain cells left that she could count on.

She had to work fast, that fact had been made crystal clear to her when she’d seen Buffy walking down the stairs all full of ice and anger. The Slayer was determined to hand out all of the meanness she could deliver, and Faith knew she deserved every painful bit of it and way, way more.

She’d deserted Buffy. Just up and hauled ass when it got too tough, knowing full well that being left was Buffy’s most tender spot. Faith had poked and prodded at it anyway on her big rush to her final exile, so wrapped up in herself she’d forgotten everything but her own pain, and she’d ended up ruining it all.

The best thing she’d ever had in her life, offered up to her with absolutely no strings by the woman she’d loved since the first second she’d seen her, and Faith had treated it and her like some kind of worthless garbage. Buffy had reached out for her and hung on, making it so unbelievably easy to find real happiness, and she had fought for Faith with everything she had. Faith had repaid her guts and love by doing the very thing she knew would hurt her the most.

She was a selfish, stupid bitch, and she knew it. She’d cop freely to it in front of anybody, even God himself if she ever met the fucker. She could deal with that truth about herself and she could also deal with getting the job done that she’d been brought back to do. What she couldn’t handle was just riding off again, and she knew now without a doubt that she wasn’t going to do it.

It surprised her how fast she’d come to her senses. She was just as shocked as everyone else was going to be, maybe even more so. But it all came down to the instant she’d heard that voice again, the moment when her eyes had gotten their first look at Buffy in two and a half years.

That was it, that was when Faith knew she was all done running. The moody loner, who less than a day ago had planned to stay on her own forever, wasn’t going anywhere anymore, not without the Slayer right by her side. Buffy was hers and she was going to be goddamned if she was going to ever forget that again.

Her attempts at getting things rolling last night had done nothing except reveal her stupidity and awkwardness. It made her wince to think of the things she’d said, like she thought her only crime over the last three years was that she’d forgotten to bring home a gallon of milk. Her dumb ass comments made it sound like she didn’t know she’d abandoned her life and the woman who loved her for two and a half long years, three if you wanted to count the six months she’d been around, but not at all present.

She’d thought about it all last night as she’d sat on the couch staring at the locked bedroom door, and she had absolutely no idea how Buffy had refrained from killing her.

“My room too, B.”

“Why don’t ya sit down and keep me company?”

“Gonna have to talk sooner or later.”

Just how fucking insensitive was she?

But that wasn’t it, she wasn’t insensitive at all, she never had been. The problem was that she didn’t have the social graces of a plank of wood, and whenever she found herself faced with hostility, her normal reaction was to try and brazen it out. It was all she’d ever done except the times she’d resorted to violence, and when faced with Buffy’s cold disregard and total lack of interest, well Faith didn’t know how else to act.

But that wasn’t quite true. She knew how to act, she just wasn’t exactly sure how to do it. It was the thing she had to overcome if she was going to get Buffy back, and good fucking luck to her. She definitely needed it.

The good news was that there was also another thing that wasn’t all that true: Buffy’s pretense that she wasn’t interested. She’d been more than interested when she’d seen Faith fresh out of the shower, and she’d stood star struck as she’d watched the impromptu late night workout.

Buffy might be mad, she might be filled with hate and hurt and distrust, but she was not disinterested, and that was where Faith hoped she could find her way back in, at least at the start. She was banking on the fact that Buffy still loved her, even if it was buried way deep down, and she was hoping that somehow, someway she would see even a little flicker of that emotion.

But it didn’t really matter, Faith knew that now. She had stopped kidding herself somewhere along the line and she had stopped hiding from the truth. It was a simple truth, and it put her at a real disadvantage because if she’d really managed to kill Buffy’s love for her, well she was going to be in it all alone from here on out.

Because the simple, honest to fuck truth was: she needed Buffy. She didn’t feel right without her, no one else could make her feel like who she really was. There wasn’t ever going to be anyone else for her, there couldn’t be. She loved Buffy with everything she had, and she knew that was something that was never going to change.

Faith had killed Angel and it had made her feel crushed, beaten, guilty, and not worth the air she breathed. All of that was valid, it was all still with her and probably always would be, but now there was finally something else. There was a small, angry, mean as hell blonde woman, and just being near her had Faith feeling lighter than she had in years.

She could see it clearly now; she’d done it all wrong. She had run from the one person who could have helped her deal with the horrible thing she’d been forced to do. She had pushed away her only chance at salvation, and that was probably why she’d done it, to punish herself. It felt right, seemed like just the kind of sick thing she’d do to herself.

Well congratulations were in order, because she’d done a bang-up job of it. She’d hurt herself just as much as she possibly could, but the problem with that was that she’d hurt Buffy too, and that was wrong, just as wrong as anything ever could be. Buffy didn’t deserve it, hadn’t done a thing to earn that kind of pain, but Faith had given it to her anyway.

She’d been so sure that walking away was the best thing she could do for both of them…she knew now that wasn’t true. She also knew she loved Buffy, wanted her, needed her, and she wasn’t going to let anything come between them again…not even herself.

But how to go about it? So far she’d only managed to pour gas on the fire, and she wasn’t good at playing games. It all seemed impossible, but then hadn’t the whole thing always placed itself comfortably in the “impossible” category right from the first second they’d met?

Two Slayers in love: impossible. A straight, good girl in love with a bisexual, bad girl who’d changed only because that good girl had shown her how to do it: impossible. Two Slayers who both intensely loved a souled vampire in completely different ways: impossible. A vampire who’d willingly risked it all for a Slayer when she didn’t deserve a thing except to be put down like a rabid animal: impossible.

Clearly the word “impossible” didn’t mean shit to Faith. She’d made “impossible” her bitch over and over again, and she was just going to have to do it one more time. She knew she was going to be bashing up against the toughest brick wall ever built, and that was okay. She could do it, she had to.

But even just a tiny sign that there was still some love left for her inside of Buffy would be way more than welcome. It would give her something to cling to while she was riding out the pain she knew she had coming. But then that meant the question was: did she even have the right to ask for that much?

Her answer came just seconds later when Buffy emerged from the woods. She spread some weird white blanket on the ground and then sat down to have her breakfast. Just watching her was good, and the fact that she was in their “together” spot, well that had to mean something way over on the excellent side.

But what that was exactly, well Faith knew she was going to have to figure it out. She sat there watching and thinking and she finally realized that although she could suppose some stuff, she needed some other sign to be sure. For all she really knew, Buffy could just be sitting there because she…And then Buffy started crying, and Faith knew she had the answer to her prayer.

God had responded, and in Faith’s experience, that never, ever happened…at least not in the way she ever wanted it to. God was always way more likely to reply to her prayers with a great big:

”Fuck you, you worthless piece of shit. You ain’t ever gettin’…” whatever it was she asked for.

“Want your mom off the sauce? No. In fact, she’s gonna get worse and drop dead from it.”

“Want Uncle ‘Whoever It Is This Week’ to stop looking at you like he’s imagining you naked? No. And just wait until you wake up tomorrow night.”

“Want a dog just to have something to love? No. You got plenty of rats in your dumpy apartment. Make it work.”

“Want there to be another way than killing the man you love more than you can ever explain? No. And your aim better be perfect or you’ll murder her too.”

“Want a sign that you might have a chance to get back the best thing that ever happened to you? Yeah okay, bitch. There she is, crying over your worthless ass. Happy now?”

Faith held no illusions, she hadn’t since she’d been about seven years old. She knew God didn’t do things for her, He didn’t give a flying fuck about anything that involved her. The truth of it was, the bastard seemed to have it in for her right from the start, and that completely sucked. Of course, she’d also be the first to admit that she’d started handing him plenty of reasons before too long.

So the bottom line in the here and now? No fucking way was this favor, this chance, for her. Nope, it was for Buffy, the Slayer who fought the good fight. She was the one who deserved nothing but happiness, the one who deserved to love and be loved in return. Buffy was the one who’d earned the whole “happily ever after” thing, she was the one God was working for, and the funny part was that Faith got to tag along for the ride.

She was positive that He was pissed about how it had all turned out. Nobody could have seen what was coming, not even a know-it-all like God. How in the hell Buffy had fallen for her was a wicked cosmic fuckup, there was no other sensible explanation for it.

It was just the “Buffy” way to spit in the face of destiny and piss all over the rules. She did what she wanted to do, exactly the way she wanted to do it, and she always followed her heart, no matter what it cost her. Buffy had balls the size of Texas, and this time God had to be just steaming. But really, what could He do about it?

Act like a big pussy and turn shit all upside down? Cheat and make Buffy not fall in love? That shit wasn’t gonna fly because the rules of the game were that everybody had free will and got to make their own choices and decisions. If He started fucking with that now just because He didn’t like the Slayer’s pick, well everybody was going to realize that God was a sore loser who couldn’t be trusted, plus a real prick to boot.

So He did the next best thing: He’d played dirty, but still stayed inside the rules. He’d stuck a bunch of shit in their way and because Faith was the most skilled sinner on the planet, she’d fallen prey to all of it. She’d screwed everything up right from the beginning, and no matter how many chances she got, she kept right on screwing it all up in the worst possible way.

But it turned out the joke was on God because none of it meant a thing, not in the end. Buffy Summers had just kept standing there waiting for Faith to get it right, and then came the biggest fucking surprise ever: she finally did.

Finally one damn time in her miserable little life, Faith Lehane had stayed right where she was supposed to be. She didn’t turn away, instead she took hold of the hand that was offered to her and she made something good out of herself.

It hadn’t been easy. She’d slipped more than a few times, but she hadn’t fallen, not for good. There were two people who had her back all the way, and they kept grabbing for her and holding on tight until she could regain her balance. One of them was gone now, taken out by her own hand, but all of the sudden she could see that didn’t matter much, leastways not anymore.

Angel was dust, but now that Faith had stopped running, she could hear him if she listened hard enough. He was telling her to pick herself up and get on with it. He was telling her that he didn’t haul her ass out of one hole just to see her jam it back into another. He was telling her that he believed in her.

She sat silently, listening to what he had to say as she stared at Buffy, the woman they both loved. She knew now what the deal was, and Angel was right. It was never over, and the two of them had to pay for everything.

Faith knew that was fair. She had lots of shit she owed for, and she was willing to pay whenever and however she had to, but she wasn’t going to give up Buffy, not for anything. That part of it was nonnegotiable now.

Any and everything else might still be up for grabs, but Faith was taking Buffy off the table forever. She was done settling her debts with the woman she loved. She wasn’t paying that way ever again, and she would fight to the death before she’d let it happen. As far as she was concerned, that bullshit was over.

At just that moment, Buffy seemed to reach some kind of decision too. She wiped her face clean, straightened her shoulders, grabbed her shit and headed off to the big meeting. Faith waited until she was out of sight, then climbed her way back down to stand firmly on the ground.

There was a time when she would have run and kept right on running rather than face what she knew was coming, but that Faith was gone, and she was gone for good. Still, she wasn’t patting herself on the back. That scared fuck-up had

existed just a few days ago, and she knew she wouldn’t have even been standing where she was if she hadn’t been pushed and pulled along.

But she was standing where she was, and she was all through running. This was the place where Buffy was, this was the place where Faith belonged, and no matter what went down from here on out, she was never turning tail again. It was time for her to face it head-on: herself, her past, her future, the things she’d done and the things she’d neglected to do. It was time for her to come home.

She couldn’t claim anything was going good, there didn’t seem to be any happiness anywhere in sight, but Faith began smiling just the same, feeling better and more like herself than she had in forever.

“Got the message, Soulboy. Five by five.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The meeting was progressing just about as well as its participants had expected it to. It had started off as tense and angry, then moved its way over to outright hostility all too quickly. But every one of them were veterans and none of them were willing to allow personal issues to get in the way of the mission. Nothing could be allowed to do that, but as the plan began to solidify, the tight rein Buffy had been trying to keep on her temper began to fray.

Giles was ensconced behind his desk, and Willow and Buffy were sitting in the two leather chairs that sat in front of it. Faith had placed herself off to the side in a straight back wooden chair, hoping to stay out of Buffy’s line of fire as much as possible, but that strategy had so far proven nothing but ineffective.

They all sat waiting while Giles made some final notations on one of the pages in front of him, and after a few moments, his eyes turned to his Slayer:

“Buffy, have you and Kennedy decided upon the Slayers you wish to accompany you to the focal point?”

“They’re all briefed and ready to go.”

“Excellent, although I do wish we had a bit more time to marshal our forces. Willow, are you absolutely certain…”

“Yep. All signs point to tonight, unless we want to wait two more weeks, which we could if...”

Buffy couldn’t speak up fast enough:

“No, no waiting. I want this over and done with.”

Faith knew the remark was directed at her, but she didn’t react, just like she hadn’t reacted to any of the other comments sent her way. She wasn’t going to take the bait, she wasn’t going to argue. If Buffy wanted to keep slamming her, well Faith could take it, so slam away.

The silence stretched out until Buffy decided to wrap things up:

“So I’d say we’ve covered it all, unless the one of us who’s mentally challenged needs to go over it again using smaller words.”

She looked at Faith as she spoke, but there was still no response from that direction. She could feel Giles staring at her and Buffy met his gaze defiantly, just daring him to chastise her. Instead he merely smiled understandingly and carried on.

“Yes well, our various mental acuities notwithstanding, are there any questions?”

“Yeah, I got one.”

Three heads turned toward Faith, and the blonde one was clearly ready to blow:

“And doesn’t that just figure.”

“Buffy, please. Yes, Faith?”

Faith was leaning back in her chair, only two of the four legs touching the floor as she tossed a paperweight from hand to hand.

“So what happens if one of us gets capped?”

Willow sat up straight, more than a little alarmed:

“What? No, ‘capping’ is not a part of the plan. In fact, there will be no Slayer capping of any kind allowed before, during or after the mission. Consider that a big ‘no’ to the capping entirely.”

“Appreciate the sentiment, Red, but think we oughta know since we’ll be...”

Buffy stood up, her eyes glittering with a barely suppressed rage:

“Yeah Giles, and could you also go over what happens if Santa Claus lands in the middle of the big fight?”

Giles looked frustrated, but he attempted to respond calmly:

“Buffy, perhaps you should…”

The chair legs touched down onto the floor rather delicately as Faith leaned forward:

“Got a problem, B?”

The look on Buffy’s face was pure menace:

“…What did you just say to me?”

“I asked you if you got a problem, ’cause from where I’m sitting, it’s a damn good question.”

Buffy stalked closer, the sneer on her face matching the sarcastic venom in her voice:

“And just exactly where are you sitting, Faith? It’s kind of hard to keep track, you know, with all the cowardly running away.”

“Guess maybe it is, but right now my ass is sitting right here. In a few hours it’s gonna be dead center in the thick of it, so I think I need to know what…”

“Oh I see, you want a big pat on the back for finally doing your duty.”

Faith leaned up on two legs again, her expression almost blank although her eyes revealed just about every emotion there was.

“What I want’s for you to let Giles answer my question.”

Giles cleared his throat rather loudly:

“Which I shall be most happy to do.”

He cleared his throat again, hoping to earn Buffy’s attention, but her eyes never wavered from Faith. He waited a moment, then decided it was best just to plow ahead.

“If something fatal were to happen to you, your energy would shift to the next Slayer in line, whoever that may be. The ritual would then be rendered totally ineffective.”

“Okay. And if it’s B who goes down?”

Buffy laughed, but it wasn’t a pleasant sound:

“Wow, you’re pretty interested in this whole scenario. So what’s the deal, F? Planning to torture and kill me for real this time around? I’ll bet it won’t be nearly as much fun without your precious Soulboy by your side.”

The chair legs shattered as they hit the floor, but Faith was already standing. The sound of the rock paperweight cracking as her hand tightened around it could be easily heard:

“Shut up, Buffy.”

“Make me.”

The room was silent as the Slayers stood toe to toe for what seemed like forever, and it was Faith who finally backed down first. She placed the broken paperweight on a nearby table and looked at Giles:

“I’ll be back in a while.”

Then she was gone, leaving nothing but a tense silence behind her. It took a few moments, but then Willow decided to speak up:

“Buffy…”

Buffy turned away from her:

“Are we done here, Giles?”

“Yes, I doubt we’re going to accomplish anything productive right now.”

“Great.”

She turned to storm out, but Willow’s voice stopped her:

“Buffy…”

“Not now, Will.”

“When?”

“Let’s try never and see how that goes.”

She slammed the door behind her as she left, and Giles winced when he heard the sound of the wooden doorframe splintering.

“Ah yes, just splendid, truly. Willow, do you perchance know when Xander…”

“He said around 2:30.”

“Good enough then.”

He sat there behind his desk shuffling some papers, seemingly determined to withhold any comment. He finally gave up beneath her unremitting stare, removing his glasses with a sigh as he met her eyes:

“I don’t have the first clue, Willow. It’s a bloody difficult situation.”

“I keep trying to think of some way…”

“Yes, as do I. Unfortunately, I believe this is something the two of them will have to work out for themselves.”

Willow slid the broken chair off to the side, then took her seat in front of his desk again:

“Yeah, I know, but ouch.”

“Quite. I suspect Faith can expect a great deal more of that sort of thing.”

“Yep, nothing like a pissed off Buffy to really cut somebody to ribbons.”

He smiled somewhat wryly across the desk at her:

“Perhaps we should just be thankful neither of us are her target.”

“Oh yeah, I am definitely of the thankful.”

“And I completely concur.”

They said nothing else for a few moments, each clearly lost in their thoughts.

“Hey, Giles?”

“Yes?”

“Has Faith said…Well, do you think she’s home for good?”

He began cleaning his glasses in a gesture that was intimately familiar to her.

“I cannot say for sure, of course, but I believe she wants to be. I for one, certainly wish her to stay.”

“Me too. She belongs here with Buffy, with all of us.”

“Agreed. And it’s quite certain that Buffy still loves her.”

Willow snagged a piece of toffee from his candy dish:

“No doubt about that. Now whether or not she’ll ever admit it…”

“Yes, I’m afraid she can be quite stubborn at times.”

“Oh yeah, in fact I’d say Buffy is the master when it comes to stubbornness.”

He finished cleaning his glasses and with a resigned sigh, he put them back in place as he turned his attention to the matter at hand.

“Shall we set all that aside and dedicate ourselves to finalizing the plan?”

“Ready when you are.”

**********************************

Buffy had already obliterated one punching bag and was well on her way to demolishing a second, when Kennedy strolled in.

“Hey, Buffy.”

“Hey.”

“So uh…what’s with the bag destruction?”

“…Defective, I guess.”

Kennedy hoisted herself up onto the pommel horse and sat quietly as she watched Buffy beating the hell out of bag Number Two. It wasn’t long before a powerful left hook tore the leather, followed a split second later by a tremendous right uppercut that sent the entire bag slamming hard against the opposite wall.

There was no sound except the soft clinking of the now empty chain and Buffy’s breath as it seemed to blast out of her, accompanied by Kennedy’s long and low whistle.

“Geez, I’d offer to spar, but I don’t wanna end up looking like that.”

“I’m done anyway.”

Kennedy tossed her a towel and a nearby bottle of water, both of which Buffy caught with barely a glance:

“Thanks.”

She toweled off and drank the entire amount in one long swig while Kennedy waited patiently. When Buffy was done, Kennedy gave it a try:

“So, do you want to talk?”

“No.”

“Okay. But just so you know, contrary to how it looks, I get why you feel like you do.”

Buffy didn’t respond as she walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed another water, so Kennedy kept right on going.

“Faith is a bitch for leaving you like she did, you’ve got every right to be angry.”

“Wow Kennedy, thanks for the permission.”

“My point is this: keeping it all bottled up and then letting it explode all over her, well that’s probably not the best way to handle things.”

“Well it’s my way, and I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

Kennedy hopped down from the horse and headed over to the last remaining bag.

“That’s fair enough, I guess.”

Buffy wrapped the towel around her shoulders and headed for the door.

“Buffy?”

“…Yeah?”

“I’m always here and ready to listen if you change your mind.”

Buffy stopped in the doorway and turned to smile at her:

“I know that, Ken. Thanks.”

“Hey, what are friends for?”

************************************

Three hours passed before Faith returned to Giles’ office, and when she got there, she found her path blocked by Xander in full carpenter mode.

“Hi, Cyclops. What happened to the door?”

Xander looked up and gestured with a hammer:

“Seems the Buffster was a little irritated when she left the big meeting.”

“Lotta that makin’ the rounds...Giles in?”

“Yep, he’s all immersed in working out every single detail of tonight’s plan for the ten millionth time. Can’t be too careful, you know?”

She smiled at him as she squeezed past:

“G-Man being a bookworm’s got its good points.”

“For sure.”

She walked over to Giles, but she knew from experience he had no idea she was even there. He was sitting at his desk having a cup of tea while he frowned down at some papers, and he was completely lost in his work. She gave him a minute, but when he still hadn’t acknowledged her, she spoke up:

“G-Man.”

“What? Oh, sorry. Didn’t hear you come in.”

“No prob. Look, wanna apologize for leaving before the meeting was over.”

“Your apology is not at all necessary. Would you like a cup of tea?”

She sat down across from him with a laugh:

“Know I been gone awhile, but not that much has changed. Still rather drink my own piss.”

“Well, there’s no harm in trying.”

“Not as long as ya keep it to just the verbal.”

He smiled warmly at her:

“Trust me, I’ve no intention of trying to physically outmaneuver you.”

“Then we’re good.”

They sat quietly, Faith tugging imaginary lint from her shirt as Giles watched and sipped his tea.

“Faith, are you all right?”

“Doin’ just great. So I wanted to ask ya if…”

He cut her off before she could change the topic:

“I know this can’t be easy for you.”

“…Guess I don’t deserve it to be either.”

“No, probably not, but I do wish it weren’t quite so difficult.”

Faith got up to stand by the window, her gaze staring out:

“B’s got some way legit beefs with me, can’t blame her for that.”

“Nor do I, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”

“Yeah, like a bitch, but I can handle it.”

He got up to stand beside her:

“Of that, I’ve no doubt. Faith, I love Buffy as if she were my own daughter, but I know what she can be like when she’s been hurt. If you need a friendly ear, a place to vent with no judgment and no taking sides…well, I am at your service.”

“…Thanks, Giles. Might need to take ya up on that somewhere down the line.”

He turned to face her then, a smile creasing his face:

“That response seems to imply…”

“Yeah, I’m not goin’ anywhere. I made a mistake before, the biggest fucking one ever, and I’m not stupid enough to do it again.”

“Faith, I…Oh, bugger that.”

He pulled her into a hug that lasted a fairly long time.

“Welcome home, you’ve been greatly missed.”

She grinned as he let her go:

“Damn, guess ya did miss me. Not every day ya find yourself wrapped up tight in an English hug. Those bitches are far and few, ya know?”

“Joke all you like, you shan’t diminish my delight one jot.”

“Cool. Hey, G-man?”

“Yes?”

“What the fuck’s a ‘jot’?”

They both laughed and headed over to the couch, the matter settled between them. Their minds were already turning toward the fast approaching battle, and as they got settled, Giles got down to business.

“All right, I believe you had a few questions?”

“Yeah, I did. Was wondering what happens if something happens to B?”

“Her power would flow directly into you, at least temporarily. It’d be enough of a surge for you to continue on with the plan.”

“Yeah, okay, but that’s not the sitch if it’s me that goes down, right?”

“No, it’s not.”

“Does she know she’s gotta haul it if I get nailed?”

“Buffy is well aware of the consequences should anything go amiss.”

“Yeah, but you know how she is. She gets she can’t stick it out and ‘Buffy’ her way through it, yeah?”

Giles patted her arm reassuringly:

“I promise you, Faith, Buffy understands the situation completely.”

Faith leaned her head back and closed her eyes:

“Not that I plan on letting anything happen to either of us.”

“Understood, but I agree it’s more than prudent to plan for the worst.”

She opened one eye to look at him:

“Yeah, makes good sense too.”

He was clearly amused:

“Have I said how good it is to have you home again?”

“Yeah, but feel free to tell me as many times as ya wanna. Can use all the ‘welcome homes’ I can get.”

“So noted. Did you have any other inquiries?”

“Just about after.”

“Well, it’s somewhat…Excuse me for a moment, please.”

He got up to retrieve a book, a folder, and his cup of tea, already explaining the situation as he made his way back over to her.

“The various spells and forces we’re drawing upon are quite powerful, and once they are set into motion, they will allow you girls to locate the channeling stone as well as providing the necessary strength to destroy it. Once you’ve managed to eradicate their talisman, Willow will be able to close the portal almost immediately. The lesser Mairon demons will begin dying almost instantly, although the more evolved among them will perhaps remain vital enough to wreak a bit of havoc. It’s also possible that they may begin disintegrating as well, but that’s not something we can count on. It will take some time at any rate.”

“So we’ve got a tough ass fight to get through, no matter how you slice it.”

“Yes, I’d say that more or less sums it up. When the last Mairon is dead, you’ll both be required to remain in the enchanted area for approximately two hours in order to allow the Slayer energy to dissipate safely. The magicks in the circle will effectively cause the power to disperse back to its proper location, but if either of you were to leave too soon, the energy could adversely affect the other Slayers.”

“So me and B gotta hang out alone together for two whole hours? Guess that’s gonna be the most dangerous part of the whole deal.”

He nodded sympathetically:

“There’s nothing to be done for it, I’m afraid. Rest assured if there were, I’d suggest we attempt that first.”

“Part of the gig, I get it. Not like we can just let these bastards destroy the world ‘cause me and B got issues. Be glad when it’s over though.”

“As will I. We’re planning to leave at 10:00 as the ritual needs to be done by midnight, and we must give Willow time to trigger the power surge between Buffy and yourself using the scythe. She will then need to leave the area immediately, along with her escorts. I would recommend that you get some rest before then.”

She hesitated before she answered:

“Love to, but don’t think me and B should…”

He looked at her blankly for a moment, but then he suddenly understood the implication she was making. Faith couldn’t help but smile as she watched the understanding flood across his face. If he’d been in a cartoon, a light bulb would have gone off over his head.

He quickly reached into his pocket and presented her with the key to his room.

“Yes, of course. You’re most welcome to rest in my quarters if you’d like.”

“Gotta say that sounds good. Didn’t get much sleep last night, so I could really use it.”

“Splendid. There are clean sheets in the…”

“Fuck that, I’ll risk catchin’ ‘G-Man Cooties’. Can’t be any worse than doin’ housework.”

He laughed and shook his head:

“That’s entirely your call. I shall eat in the cafeteria so as not to disturb you.”

“Feel free to disturb if you don’t see me by 9:00.”

“Will do. Have a restorative rest and…”

“Jeez, just say ‘sleep tight’ and call it a day, will ya?”

“And don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

She smiled:

“Damn, bedbugs, cooties…all your bed needs now is some syphilis.”

The look on his face was indescribable:

“My, such vivid imagery. It causes me to doubt that I shall ever rest easy there again.”

She was laughing as she made her way out.

“Don’t blame ya. Wicked nasty, for sure.”

“Quite.”

She paused as she scooted around Xander again:

“Hey, Giles? “

“Yes?”

“Thanks.”

“You are most welcome, Faith. Sleep well.”

“That’s the plan.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

They had killed seven demons so far and were nearing the area where the ritual would need to be performed. It seemed they’d eliminated all of the perimeter guards, but the real battle would be taking place further along the way, and that battle belonged exclusively to Buffy and Faith.

“Okay, this is where we part company. Kennedy, you, Jackie, and Shonda protect Will. We’ll try to keep any from getting past us, but if they do…”

“No worries, Buffy. We won’t let anything touch her.”

Buffy smiled. Despite being a powerful Slayer in her own right, Jackie still always blushed whenever she spoke to Buffy.

“I know that, Jackie. Will?”

Willow was already setting up:

“Ten minutes maybe, probably closer to fifteen. You guys be careful.”

“You too. Let’s go, Faith.”

Buffy strode off without even a glance and Faith followed without a word. They made their way unimpeded to the portal area, eyes and ears open as they got closer.

“Feel that, B?”

“Yes, it’s like the air is thicker.”

“They must be close…Shit!”

Demons suddenly appeared, seeming to emerge out of thin air as they quickly surrounded the Slayers. All told there were eleven of them, and Buffy and Faith immediately went back to back. Buffy spoke softly:

“Remember, we just have to hold them off and wait for Will.”

“Yeah, but wouldn’t mind killing a few in the meantime.”

“Faith…”

“Gonna be good.”

A snort of disbelief was Buffy’s only response.

The demons seemed to be studying them, as if they couldn’t quite comprehend how anyone would dare to enter their lair. Faith’s voice was barely audible, her lips moving just slightly:

“This is great. Maybe they’re just gonna stand there ‘til we can demolish their pet rock.”

With a great combined yell, the demons charged.

“Or not.”

Buffy didn’t answer, already immersed in the thick of it. The Slayers stayed back to back as they fought, and Faith saw firsthand how tough these guys were.

These were the Masters of the clan, and the sentries they’d fought their way past, although tough, were nothing in comparison. These creatures were taller and thicker, with long talons that could slice through leather as if it were butter. They were also incredibly fast, and the Slayers were barely holding their own.

Faith knew before the Scoobies had come up with their current plan, Buffy had taken on five of these things at once, and gotten her ass kicked but good. She couldn’t help but smile; Buffy’d also killed three of them and another had lost an arm. Still, if the rescue party hadn’t arrived when it did, Buffy wouldn’t be alive to tell the tale.

“B, how long’s it been?!”

“Maybe three minutes!”

“Fuck!”

They continued battling, but the demons were closing tighter around them.

“Not working, F!”

“I know. Split!”

Faith leapt high into the air, clearing the demon circle and whirling to face them. Buffy rolled low, scooting quickly between the legs of her nearest opponent. He swiped at her, but only managed to rip the back of her shirt as she slid to relative safety.

She kicked out and the audible snap of the demon’s knee was loud despite the noisy roar of the surrounding battle. He fell back in pain, stumbling off balance into his compatriots, knocking them all to the ground. They struggled to rise to their feet, but they were all tangled up and not having much success.

Buffy had no such trouble. She was already standing, her battleaxe a blur as she delivered death and pain. The demons recoiled from her for an instant, scrambling back as they attempted to re-gather themselves for the charge.

Faith had her own problems. Her group of demons numbered six and they had finally turned to face her. They began backing her up despite the two severed arms which quickly fell between them and her, and she grudgingly took one step back.

That one step unfortunately became another and another, until she found herself in full retreat. Despite every instinct screaming throughout her body, Faith made herself stand still, refusing to step back another inch. She delivered a powerful swing, the blade of her axe sinking deeply and satisfyingly into the nearest demon…until she began struggling to pull it free.

She narrowly managed to avoid a talon strike aimed at her head as she finally succeeded in yanking her weapon free. Unfortunately the blade remained in the now dead demon’s thick chest, leaving her with just the handle as she squared off against his comrades.

“Fuck.”

She used the handle well, striking out and literally pulping the first unlucky demon’s head. It didn’t matter, her remaining foes kept advancing, driving her backwards, pushing her off balance.

Her back brushed up against a tree, and suddenly there was nowhere left to go. She straightened her shoulders, determined to stay alive until Willow finished the spell and Buffy destroyed the channeling stone. She grinned as she stood there, essentially defenseless:

“Well, c’mon! Gonna take you fuckers with me.”

She gave as good as she got, pushing forward a step and swinging the axe handle with every ounce of her power against the neck of her nearest opponent. He was dead before he hit the ground, the handle snapping in two and leaving her with virtually nothing left in her hands. One of the remaining demons delivered a blow that lifted her off of her feet, slamming her hard back into the tree.

She collapsed to her knees, still fighting, but they had her. The demon actually seemed to smile as he prepared to deliver the killing blow, and then his head was separated from his shoulders. The axe slammed into the trunk of the tree just inches from Faith’s cheek.

The smile on her face said it all. She took advantage of their shock to pull the axe free, using the momentum to sever the leg of the demon standing closest to her. He fell, blood spewing everywhere, but Faith didn’t have time to savor the sight.

Springing to her feet, she kicked him right in his brand new stump, and the squealing sound he made seemed to indicate he was out of the fight for some time. The last remaining demon was staring at her, its eyes glittering with a hatred that was easy to see.

“Mutual, pal.”

She turned away from him before his head had even hit the ground, charging over to enter the remaining fight.

The Slayer was now weaponless, her axe grasped firmly in her partner’s hand. She did have a stake held at the ready, and the sight of it almost made Faith laugh out loud as she rushed to get to her. Exactly what the hell did Buffy think she could do with a stake? It wouldn’t even come close to penetrating the thick hide of…Oh.

Buffy rammed the stake into the eye of the demon who was grabbing for her and he went down, not dead, but blinded and in excruciating pain. Buffy’s attention was already on the four demons surrounding her, and Faith winced when one caught her with its talons, scraping a deep and bloody groove along her arm.

They tried to take hold of her, but Buffy was kicking and squirming as she eluded all attempts to pin her down. She threw her stake into the eye of another demon, then jumped and kicked it all the way in. He hit the ground without a sound, clearly dead for good.

Then they had her, her arms held helplessly at her sides, death just moments away…for them. Faith leapt into the whole pile, knocking everyone to the ground. Buffy hit hard, still restrained as she landed on top of her captor. She reverse head butted him, and his hold loosened just enough to allow her to break from his grasp.

Faith used her elbows and knees to work herself clear, somersaulting away from the pile, Buffy’s axe still clutched securely in her hands. She popped to her feet and began hacking at every demon part she could see, not caring where her blows were falling. Buffy was punching her way free, finally achieving enough space to roll away from the demon bloodbath.

It lasted a good two minutes, and when Faith finally stopped, it didn’t look like any of the demons had ever been anything except bloody pieces of a disgusting puzzle. The axe blade was covered with all manner of fluids, but there was surprisingly little on Faith.

She was breathing heavy, her eyes dark and deadly and scary as she stood there looming over the carnage she’d just created. She took several deep breaths, her eyes finally losing their blackness as she handed the axe back to Buffy with a grin:

“Thanks, B. Couldn’t have done it without ya.”

Buffy couldn’t do a thing except smile back, but before they had time to celebrate, the portal began glowing as twelve more demons emerged.

“C’mon, Will…”

The demons looked around at the massacre on the ground, then swiveled as one to focus their attention on the two young women standing in the midst of it.

“B?”

“It’s got to be any minute now.”

“Yeah, well it better be, ‘cause one axe ain’t gonna get it done.”

“We just have to…”

Then they felt it, a surge seemed to flash between them and the surrounding area began to shimmer. The channeling stone was now in sight, and Buffy never hesitated as she quickly brought her axe down on it, shattering it into hundreds of harmless pieces.

The portal flared brightly, then snapped shut abruptly, leaving a severed arm and leg behind as another demon tried to cross over at exactly the wrong moment. And then just like that, their entrance into the Slayers’ reality was gone, and it was gone for good.

The remaining demons looked shocked, but they recovered quickly. They angrily charged the Slayers, well, those that still could did. Some were already down on the ground and rapidly disintegrating, while most of the others seemed weak and disoriented. There were still four who seemed to be at full strength and they kept attacking.

Faith let Buffy take the lead, she had the weapon after all, but she went right with her as they met the final charge. The fight was just starting to heat up when one of the demons began shaking and shuddering before it fell to the ground. Then another two dropped and they all knew the jig was up.

Buffy felt like yelling out her joy. She’d spent three long months dealing with these demons, three deadly months which had seen the loss of two Slayers as well as a beating so severe, it had nearly killed her.

It had been three months of constant worrying that the world was going to end all because she wasn’t good enough to protect it, but now that concern was just gone as if it had never existed. The world was safe, she had done her job, and she felt like singing and dancing like a fool.

Faith grinned as the last demon staggered blindly away from her, its eyes unable to focus as it fell to the ground. The last four survivors were shaking in what looked like agony until Buffy brought the axe down and beheaded them, one after the other.

She wiped the blade as clean as she could on the grass, then turned to Faith:

“I think that’s all of them. “

“Yep, looks like we changed the locks for good.”

Faith’s smile was fading a little with uncertainty as the moment was winding down, but Buffy graciously held up her hand to offer their standard high five, and Faith never hesitated. The sound of their palms slapping together made her laugh.

“Fuckin’ kicked their ass!”

“That we did.”

It was a warm moment, a good moment, but all too soon Buffy’s wall came back up.

“All right, we’ve got two hours to get through, then you can leave for good.”

She sat down and leaned back against a tree, squirming around a bit as she tried to get comfortable.

“B?”

“What?”

Faith crouched down in front of her:

“I get that you hate me right now.”

Buffy looked her directly in the eye:

“I don’t hate you, Faith. I don’t care enough about you to…”

Faith stood up:

“Would you just fucking talk to me? Or let me talk? I know you’re hurt, okay? I fucking get it, but goddamn it, Buffy…how’s this getting us anywhere?!”

Buffy got to her feet as well:

“It’s getting us right where I want us to be: nowhere. Maybe you can’t grasp this concept, but I am through. There is no us, not anymore. You left me for two and a half years, did you really think I’d just welcome you back whenever you felt like showing up? Well, fuck you!”

Faith reached out to her, but Buffy angrily slapped her hand away:

“Don’t touch me, don’t you ever touch me!”

“Would you calm the fuck down? I just wanted to…”

“What, comfort me? Well I don’t want it, not from you. All I want from you is to make sure that when you leave this time, it’s for good.”

Faith could feel her own temper rising:

“Well that sucks for you, ‘cause I’m not goin’ anywhere. I realize I made a mistake and I’m staying put…”

Buffy hit her then and the punch sent Faith reeling. Before she could recover, Buffy hit her again, this time nearly knocking her to the ground.

“No, you’re not staying. You aren’t welcome here, you’ll never be welcome here.”

“Maybe not, but I’m still staying.”

Buffy swung at her again, but this time Faith was ready. She caught Buffy’s fist and used her momentum to swing her around, yanking her arm up uncomfortably behind her back and pushing her up against a nearby tree.

“Already gave ya a coupla shots. Gonna draw the line at three.”

“Take your hands off me.”

“B…”

“I’m not going to tell you again.”

Faith leaned in, her lips just inches from Buffy’s ear:

“So what are you gonna tell me? How much that fight worked you up? How wet you are? How good it feels to have my hands on you again, my tits pressed up against your…”

Buffy almost broke loose, but Faith perfectly anticipated her move and just managed to stay in control. She shoved Buffy forward, pressing her hard against the tree, her body weight keeping her effectively pinned.

Despite all of her efforts not to move, Faith could not stop herself from swaying slowly against Buffy. Her increasingly husky voice rumbled low as her breath sent shivers down the trapped Slayer’s spine.

“I want you, B, more than I ever did. I still love you, I never stopped and I’m never gonna. You want me to spend the rest of my life makin’ it up to you, I will. I’ll do whatever you want me to do, but I won’t leave you, B. Not again, not for anything.”

She laid a gentle kiss on Buffy’s cheek, then released her.

The hazel eyes that greeted her as Buffy spun around, were beyond angry. Faith took a few cautious steps back, but Buffy merely followed like she was cornering a vamp who’d just killed a puppy. A mean look crossed her face and then…

Her hands began blazing a tantalizing path down her own body, and despite struggling not to, Faith’s eyes followed closely behind. The look on Buffy’s face contained more than a hint of cruelty in it, and although it should have served as a warning, Faith found it turned her on way more than it did anything else.

“So is that what you want, Faith? Me all horny and wet, just begging for your touch? Want me moaning and shaking, calling out your name as I come again and again?”

Faith did want every one of those things, and there was nothing she could do to hide it. She stood there frozen as Buffy approached, her touch becoming more intimate as she glided closer.

“Answer me, baby…”

Buffy’s fingers were rubbing and squeezing, a sexy purring noise emanating from between her wet lips.

“…is this what you want?”

Faith opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out except a soft moaning noise that made it sound like she was being tortured. Buffy smiled when she heard it.

“Oh come on, F. You had plenty to say a just second ago. Tell me what you want.”

“W…What I want is for us to…”

Buffy was nearly a blur as she moved in, Faith’s head gripped none too gently as she pulled her in for a punishing kiss.

Their lips crashed together, their teeth banging as they basically collided, and Faith wanted it, she wanted it more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life. Still she tried to pull back, her heart pounding in her chest, but Buffy had other ideas.

Her tongue was exploring every familiar inch of Faith’s mouth as one of her hands began caressing the hardness she felt poking up beneath the bra and shirt in her way. She nipped gently at Faith’s lip, then harder while she trailed her hands downward, hitting every tender spot Faith had with exactly the right touch. She had her moaning and shaking already, and Buffy kept right on going.

Her touch became rougher, one hand pulling and pinching a nipple that was straining to reach her, the other hand unbuttoning Faith’s pants and sliding into the warm wetness that was now flowing freely.

Faith nearly collapsed, her legs weakening and making her cling to Buffy just to remain upright. The sound that escaped her sounded nothing but desperate and wild.

“Mmm…Is this what you want, F? My lips and teeth at your throat, my fingers sliding inside you…”

She teased Faith as she spoke, nearly entering her before pulling away and rubbing and gliding just outside.

“Tell me, Faith…How many times do you want me to make you come?”

“B…”

“Three times? Five times? Ten?”

Buffy’s fingers were on her clit and the erratic tempo she set had Faith’s hips moving almost spastically as she tried to get more pressure where she needed it.

“’Cause you know I can do it. I can satisfy you until you can’t even move. I can make you come so hard you’ll pass out, and then I can do it all over again.”

Faith’s arms were already wrapped tight around her, and with a slight nudge of encouragement from Buffy, her leg lifted to hook around her waist.

“Do you want that, F? To feel me everywhere, my tongue rammed so far up you…”

Buffy slid three fingers in without warning, and Faith’s yell seemed incredibly loud in the empty forest. Her other leg wrapped around Buffy, clasping securely with its twin as she thrust against her, but Buffy pulled out and sank to the ground, taking Faith right with her.

Faith’s back hit the grass hard, but she was barely aware of it, her attention on the knowing fingers that kept tormenting her with the promise of more. Then Buffy’s voice was right there, whispering softly into her ear, and the feeling of her breath sent Faith right into orbit.

“I’m the real deal, lover, not one of those girls you tried to pretend was me.”

She thrust in, and Faith cried out:

“Please…”

“I’m not some cheap imitation…I smell right, I know how to touch you, I know what you need…and my eyes aren’t blue, Faith.”

Buffy’s fingers pushed in deeper while her lips roughly gathered up a nipple. She sucked and bit, causing Faith to moan out once again as her arms and legs wrapped around Buffy in a viselike hold. She kept trying to pull her even closer, but Buffy’s strength was more than an equal match for her own.

Buffy drew back just slightly, her voice still all low and sexy:

“Say you know it’s me, Faith. Tell me what you want.”

Faith struggled to speak, to open her eyes. Her orgasm was coming and it was a monster.

“Tell me now, baby...”

The thrusts slowed, but did not stop. Buffy’s mouth kept whispering her demands, and Faith fought to answer her:

“B…Buffy, please…”

“Wanna come, F?”

“Yes…almost there.”

“I know…I can feel you.”

“God…B…I…”

And then Buffy was gone. She pulled out, and stood up, almost all in one motion.

“But the thing is, F…I don’t feel like making you happy.”

Faith’s eyes snapped open, her body taut and shaking, her skin flushed and sweaty.

“You can just do what I’ve had to do for the last couple of years. You see, I didn’t seek out every brown haired, leather wearing bitch I could find while you were gone. I learned how to take care of myself.”

With a contemptuous laugh Buffy walked off and sat down with her back against a tree, leaving Faith lying where she was.

There was no movement for a few minutes, but then Faith adjusted her clothing and buttoned her pants as she sat up. She said nothing for a long time, and when she did her voice came out way over on the hoarse side.

“Guess I deserved that, but don’t kid yourself, B. I could come over there right now and have you begging for it in thirty seconds. I’m giving you that one, but you pull a stunt like that again, neither of us is stopping ‘til we’re done.”

“You touch me and I’ll break your fucking arm.”

“Free to try, but I’m warning you: Yeah I fucked things up, not denying that. You gotta make me pay, I’ll pay, but you’re not gonna get to play ‘Kick the Faith’ forever. I’m not gonna roll over and just take whatever shit you decide to hand out. Probably should, you’re way within your rights, but that won’t help anything past a certain point. What we need to do is talk this out.”

Buffy’s eyes seemed to bore a hole right through her:

“You think so, do you? Well I tried to talk to you forever, and you refused. In fact, you wanted to avoid talking so much, you left me.”

“Wasn’t ready then. I am now.”

Buffy stared at her in total disbelief and shook her head in disgust:

“Well I’m not.”

“I’ll wait.”

“You’ll be waiting a long time, try like until Hell freezes over.”

Faith leaned her head back and closed her eyes:

“Seen stranger things happen. Doesn’t really matter anyways, I’ll wait forever if I gotta.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

When Faith finally made her way up to her bedroom, correction, Buffy’s bedroom, she found her bag outside in the hall and not packed with what anyone would call the greatest of care. The message was clear, but she tried the door anyway. Locked.

She stood there contemplating breaking her way in, then decided against it. She was too tired for a big fistfight, and she knew it wouldn’t be fair on her part. She was the bad guy here, and Buffy deserved the right to toss her out, at least for now.

Shouldering her bag she spun around, her eyes landing on the room directly ahead at the end of the hall. She let out a deep breath, put one foot in front of the other, and took what seemed to be the longest walk of her life.

When she reached the door and gripped the knob, she saw that her hand was shaking slightly. Angel…Dead by the same hand she was now staring down at, dead because there just wasn’t any other way out of it for any of them.

She turned away, there was no way she could go in. Even though it probably stood empty or more likely had Giles’ books back in it, it was still Angel’s room and always would be to her.

She’d gone five steps before she turned back and re-approached the door. She was not going to walk away, she was all done with that. Everything she wanted, everything she needed was here, and she wasn’t backing down. It was just a room, one that represented hope and a fresh start and betrayal and death and crushed dreams, true, but she wasn’t going to let it beat her.

A minute went by, then two, and finally she flung open the door, strode in, and hit the lights. The room wasn’t empty, but it wasn’t Giles’ mini library either. It was still Angel’s room, all of his stuff left just like she’d last seen it, and it more than surprised her.

She dropped her bag where she was and closed the door behind her, her heart pounding. She began walking around slowly, touching this and that, the items she remembered him liking the best. She gently picked up a delicate looking snow globe that contained a tiny man and woman holding hands as they strolled downtown at Christmas time.

She shook it and watched the snow falling on them, a smile lighting her face. There they were: B and Angel still caught up in that corny Christmas miracle that had happened so long ago. They were strolling hand in hand forever, in love or friendship, it didn’t make much of a difference.

It had meant everything to him, that sign he’d been given that he mattered and had a purpose in the world. She’d bought him the cheap Christmas decoration for just seven bucks, and it was worth a million times that. It never failed to make him smile whenever he looked at it, and Angel had never smiled enough as far as Faith was concerned.

She gave it another shake, then sat it back in its spot carefully as she continued on her journey. She paused at the bookshelf and saw that some of the books were still out of order, she’d never come back to put them straight. Crouching down she made quick work of it, then stood up to admire her handiwork.

The closet was next and she opened the door hoping to be overwhelmed with his comforting scent. There was nothing, not even the musty aroma of age or dust. Clearly someone had been keeping the room clean because it smelled nothing but fresh and lived in.

She quickly found the shirt she’d given him years ago on his birthday. That was the year it’d been just him and her living and working together, fighting the good fight as they built upon a bond that would never be broken.

She laughed under her breath as she remembered the look of surprise on his face when she’d handed him the wrapped present.

“What’s this?”

“What’s it look like, dumb ass? Happy birthday.”

“…Is that today?”

She’d stood looking at him, doing her best to keep the sadness from showing:

“Yeah, it’s today. Angel, damn, ya gotta keep track of shit like that.”

He’d looked stunned, and then he’d looked touched:

“I haven’t had a present in…It’s been a long time.”

“Well that shit’s gonna change, startin’ right now. So? Open it!”

He’d unwrapped it slowly as if he were trying to make the moment last. When he finally got it out of the box, Faith could see in an instant that he loved it.

“Faith, it’s…it’s…”

“It’s wicked cool, is what it is. Put it on, we gotta motor.”

“Huh?”

“We’re headin’ out to celebrate. Not every day ya turn 400 years old.”

He looked at her, his eyes totally serious:

“I’m nowhere near 400. I’m only…”

“Whatever. Ya act like somebody’s grandmother no matter how old ya are. So let’s move it, we’re hittin’ the town and tyin’ one on.”

“Faith, I appreciate the gesture, but I can’t…”

“Here’s a gesture for ya.”

She grinned as she stuck up her middle finger at him.

“That’s what I think of your ‘stick in the mud’ act. We’re goin’ out, Soulboy. You’re gonna be safe as houses, give ya my word.”

“But…Faith, I don’t…”

She was already pulling off the shirt he had on, buttons flying everywhere:

“Look, I’m not gonna fuck you and neither’s anybody else. That means the soul’s safe, and there’s no rule that says you can’t have some fun. We’ll dance, drink, and make fools of ourselves. Good time for sure, but not gonna be anywhere near perfect happiness…Slayer’s honor.”

She had the new shirt on him and was buttoning it up as he stood before her in a daze.

“But…”

“No ‘buts’, Birthday Boy. We’re gonna show’em how to tear this fucking town right the fuck up.””

And they had.

They hit club after club, and they drank and danced in all of them. Angel was the worst dancer Faith had ever seen, but after a few lessons and many drinks, she had him moving in a fairly respectable fashion.

They went at it until just before sunrise and had to make a mad dash back home before Angel combusted. As they burst to safety through the front door, they were laughing and giggling like teenagers.

“Damn Soulboy, cut that a little close.”

“Yeah, I kind of lost track of time.”

“Me too. Guess we oughta hit the sack, yeah?”

“That sounds good, I’m pretty worn out.”

“With ya on that. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

She headed for the stairs, but his voice stopped her:

“Faith?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. That was the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

She could see the emotion welling up in his eyes, and she knew she should keep it light.

“Me too. Watchin’ you do the funky chicken, well no way can anything ever top that.”

He laughed and hugged her, his lips brushing along her cheek before he let her go.

“You’re just jealous.”

“Oh yeah, you got some mad skills for sure. Happy birthday, Angel.”

“Thank you, Faith.”

That had been a good time, a great time. Getting Angel to loosen up and have some fun had meant a lot to both of them, and it was the least she could do for the man who had saved her life.

She had loved him, and despite everything that should have made it otherwise, he had loved her right back. He’d understood her in ways no one else ever had, and he’d shown her how to fight for her redemption. He’d been rock solid throughout her struggle, and she knew there was no way she could have ever made it without him. She had trusted him without question, and he’d proven time and time again that her belief in him was not misplaced. He’d stood solidly by her side no matter what went down, and he had been proud to call himself her friend.

She shook her head, making herself shake off the memories for the present. It was okay to be in his room. A little sad, way more than a little bittersweet, but it was comforting too.

She picked up her bag and tossed it onto the dresser, then stripped and hopped into the shower. The water rushed over her as she stood there enjoying the heat and the feeling of washing away the parts of her past she no longer wanted clinging to her.

When she’d had enough, she stepped out and grabbed a clean towel from the rack on the wall. She dried off in the loosest sense as she walked back over to the bed and pulled the covers down. She was tired, it’d been a rough few days, so she gave herself a quick exam. Most of her injuries were well on their way to healing, by tomorrow she’d be all shipshape and raring to go.

She threw her towel aside, hit the lights, and got into bed. She left the covers flung down, she felt kind of warm. The room was dark and she stared up at the ceiling wondering what Buffy was doing. Was she already asleep or was she also lost in her memories?

Faith wished she could just hold her and feel that silky skin against her own. She wanted to hear the soft regular breathing that meant Buffy had drifted off and was just where she wanted to be. Being with her had always made Faith feel like a miracle had happened and that all was right with the world.

She would lay there awake, waiting for the moment when Buffy would snuggle in even closer in her sleep and it was then that the snoring would start. It was such a loud noise that came from such a tiny body, but the sound of it was always soothing as it lulled Faith to sleep with a smile on her face.

But Buffy wasn’t with her, and it was now just a “one day at a time” deal. She was going to have to be patient because when it all came down to brass tacks, she didn’t even deserve another chance. She’d hurt Buffy, and the fact that she was forcing the issue anyway made her one selfish bitch. The only thing that made it okay was that Faith knew Buffy wanted her too.

They belonged together and that was never going to change, no matter how stupid either of them acted. It was all cool with Faith, she was going to do what she had to do. If she needed to grovel, she was going to do it. If she ended up having to seduce Buffy, that wasn’t going to be a problem either.

Sleep came for her then, and she let it take her away. She was tired and she needed her rest for what was to come. As she drifted off, she saw Buffy throwing away her only real weapon to save her, felt the warm strength when their hands met in their customary high five. She saw those hazel eyes flashing with passion and anger, and she was sure she could hear the sound of snoring. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

*********************************

After spending two hours confined in a small space with Faith, Buffy had had enough. She stormed into her suite, gathered up Faith’s things, and tossed them haphazardly into her scuffed and worn bag. She opened the front door and flung the items into the hallway, then slammed and locked the door with more force than was strictly necessary.

“Fucking arrogant bitch.”

She headed for the shower, furious with Faith and furious with herself. How she could still be so attracted to her, how she could still want her so badly was something Buffy could not understand.

As she stripped and stepped under the warm spray, she knew what the problem was: she still loved Faith, just as much or more than she ever had. She wanted her, needed her, and God help her, she didn’t know how much longer she could last. Every time Faith looked at her, touched her, offered another infuriating comment, Buffy felt herself dissolving into a puddle of lust.

Those beautiful brown eyes still looked right through her, they could still read everything she was feeling. Then that smirk would show up, those incredibly sexy dimples would deepen, and Buffy wanted nothing more than to kill her…right after she took her again and again.

Faith looked harder, leaner, tougher, all things that didn’t seem possible, but whenever Buffy looked her way, Faith seemed to soften. Her whole being gentled, her voice became warmer, her eyes more tender, and everything about her seemed to settle. Even when Buffy was letting her have it, Faith still looked like she was right where she belonged, like she would never be anywhere else.

She turned off the shower with a murmur of disgust.

“I must be out of my mind.”

Because Faith had already proven that she would more than willingly be somewhere else, and she would be there for more than two years. She would screw other people, unnecessarily risk her life, drink herself to sleep, and then get up and do it all over again the next day. Faith threw love and happiness away like it didn’t matter, and Buffy knew it was all that mattered.

She got into her pajamas, determined to stop thinking about Faith. She’d been over and over it, and nothing had changed. Yes she still wanted her, but she was not going to act on it. She was just going to bide her time until Faith finally left again, and then she was going to be miserable, unhappy, unsatisfied and lonely. She was going to spend the rest of her life waiting for Faith, waiting for a woman who would never return. One who would never stay even if she…

“Enough!”

Buffy decided to watch some TV, but that idea fell by the wayside when she approached the couch. It still smelled like Faith, and Buffy’s body reacted instantly. She whirled around and headed into the kitchen, but after devouring two non-fat yogurts, she knew it wasn’t working.

She thought briefly about handling the problem herself, but she rejected that idea almost as fast as it entered her head. To solve a problem, you first had to admit that you had one, and there was no way in the world that Buffy was going to accept that. Not without a fight.

She didn’t want to be turned on and she sure as hell did not want to be extra turned on because of Faith. She wasn’t going to accept that she was in a bit of a situation and she wasn’t going to succumb to her urges. Buffy had way more self-control than that. Way, way more.

After prowling around her suite for nearly an hour, she gave up. She yanked open the door and headed to the one place that always calmed her. For over two years she’d gone there and it had never once failed to soothe her. She felt close to him there, as if his presence was all around her, and she felt loved whenever she sat still and listened for him.

She opened the door and entered quickly. She doubted anyone else would be walking the halls at this late hour, but she didn’t want to be spotted. This was her private place and she didn’t want to be disturbed. She locked the door and headed for the bed without turning on the light. She didn’t need it, she was intimately familiar with every nook and cranny the room had to offer.

Buffy sat down on the edge of the bed, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness as her mind kept whirling away. She was so hoping that the calm and serenity Angel always offered to her would find her tonight, but it took just seconds for her to realize it was not to be.

Even here she could smell Faith, the faint scent of her perfume and the much more tantalizing aroma of just her. Buffy wasn’t calming down, in fact she was revving up. Her body was suddenly painfully alive, every nerve fairly singing with desire.

Her nipples hardened, she became wet between her legs, and her breathing sped up until it could only be described as panting. It was confusing and she tried

to control herself, but couldn’t. She wanted Faith and she wanted her now, it was all she could think of.

She started to stand so that she could escape what was supposed to be her sanctuary, when a strong hand grasped onto her arm and pulled her backward with a twist. She landed hard on an obviously naked body, and the scent that had been driving her wild invaded every molecule of her being.

No words were spoken, no movement happened as time stood still. Buffy could see Faith’s eyes staring into hers, could feel the want and desire flowing between them like a living entity. Faith looked frozen except for the tip of her tongue that involuntarily snuck out to lightly moisten her lips.

Buffy knew she needed to leave, she could hear a voice way off in the distance telling her to “go and go now”, but she stayed where she was. She was mesmerized by Faith’s smell, her smooth skin, her lips, and that tongue that was now hidden from her sight.

After a few more moments had passed, Faith released her hold on Buffy’s arm.

“I’m sorry, B. I…”

“Shut up.”

Buffy’s mouth slammed down, her tongue almost choking Faith as it invaded. Her hands roughly grabbed at her, pulling her hair as she jerked her head slightly to the side and forward to allow the kiss to deepen. Faith groaned, whether it was from pleasure or pain, neither of them knew.

She moved to touch Buffy, but before she made contact she heard the order:

“Don’t touch me. Keep your hands above your head.”

She complied and Buffy went back to devouring her. Faith made no move to stop her as her hungry mouth left a trail down her body, biting painfully until Buffy made her cry out. Her tongue quickly soothed the pain, only to move on to inflict a new injury.

Faith could do nothing except take what Buffy was handing out, and Buffy was not at all interested in being gentle. Her hands began roaming, twisting and pinching until she had Faith pleading:

“B, please…”

“I said, ‘Shut up’.”

Buffy reached the juncture between Faith’s legs and she never hesitated. Her tongue thrust in, penetrating as deeply as it could, and Faith’s cry was more of a scream than anything else. Buffy’s hand found her clit, rubbing almost too hard, and just like that, Faith was coming.

Buffy never slowed, her tongue plunging in and out, her hand moving faster and harder. Faith felt insane as she came again, more intensely than she had before. She could say nothing, do nothing, except go where Buffy was taking her.

Faith regained her senses to find that Buffy was now kissing her thighs, her fingers trailing along casually for the ride.

“Jesus, B…”

“Shhh…”

“What the hell do…Ow!”

“I don’t wanna hear it, not one fucking word.”

Faith was prepared to argue, but then Buffy’s lips and tongue were swirling all around her center, and once again she was lost. She was trembling, shaking, pleading, but this time Buffy would not grant her release.

She focused on teasing and tormenting Faith, driving her right to the brink time after time, then pulling back until she had calmed again. Her fingers shoved in hard and fierce causing Faith to moan and squirm, but Buffy never established any rhythm. It was torture, clearly payback time, and Faith could do nothing except beg.

It went on for a long time. Faith kept her arms above her head, even though everything in her needed to touch, then wrap around her tormentor. She didn’t know how long she could take it, but she was determined to ride it out.

Eventually Buffy took some pity on her and entered her with three fingers. She set the pace, slow and deep, and she quickly had Faith moving with her.

“God B, just like that…”

Buffy didn’t respond, at least not with words. She increased the pace, leading Faith right to the brink of her orgasm…and then suddenly, she pulled out.

“B, please…”

Buffy stood, her eyes fierce and glittering:

“I told you to shut up, F.”

She never looked away from Faith’s eyes as she removed her pajamas, slowly revealing her body inch by inch to a totally captivated audience. Faith again had no choice but to follow orders, she couldn’t have uttered a word if her life had depended on it.

Buffy climbed back on top of her, sliding along until their centers were perfectly aligned. She intertwined their legs together and sat up, pulling Faith right along with her. She began moving, slowly at first, then rapidly increasing the tempo until they were clinging to each other just to hold on.

Faith was moving with her, her hands wrapped tightly around Buffy’s back. There was just enough light to illuminate them, the sweat on their bodies glistening, their muscles rippling as they worked together. It wasn’t long before Faith’s hands slid down to Buffy’s ass, pulling her even closer as they both exploded into the most powerful orgasm of their lives.

Faith collapsed back onto the bed, pulling Buffy with her as they struggled to catch their breath. Buffy’s exhales were blowing loudly in her ear, yet Faith made no effort to move away. Her hands shook as she raised one to caress Buffy’s hair, letting the other rub slowly up and down her back.

It was quiet in the room with just the faint sounds of breathing, and then Buffy roused herself and began to sit up.

“Don’t leave, B, please.”

“Let go.”

“B, c’mon, stay here with me. I just wanna hold you and…”

Buffy pulled Faith’s arms from around her:

“You must be out of your mind if you think I’d let you hold me.”

“Maybe I am, but you want it too.”

Buffy sat up on the side of the bed, the scorn on her face perfectly matching the contempt in her voice:

“God, what do you think this was? I was just post slayage horny and you were convenient, you could have been anyone. It meant nothing except I wanted to get off and I used you to…”

Faith grabbed her suddenly, pinning her roughly to the bed.

“Don’t lie to me. You’ve never had casual sex in your life.”

“Well it’s something I learned how to do while you were away.”

Faith’s eyes darkened and her grip tightened to a bruising force:

“Fucking liar. You want me just like I want you.”

“Wow, I guess that means you’ve gone insane again, because…”

Faith kissed her, so delicately and so lovingly that Buffy could feel herself melting. She fought to stay still and not respond, but when Faith’s tongue slid slowly and softly over her bottom lip, Buffy gave in.

She kissed her back, their tongues meeting sweetly. She groaned and Faith released her hands, preferring to slide her own all over Buffy’s body. Buffy tangled her hands in Faith’s hair, pulling her head closer, and wrapping her legs around her waist.

“B, please…Let me be with you.”

Buffy wanted to stay removed. She wanted to stand up, calmly put her clothes back on and walk right out of the room. But she couldn’t.

The woman she loved was hovering above her, touching her and kissing her in the way only she could, and Buffy wanted her…she needed her.

“Yes.”

That one word was all that Faith needed. She spent the next two hours worshipping Buffy, making love to her in every possible way, showing her how much she loved her, how much she needed her, and how sorry she was that she had ever left her. She poured everything she was, everything she felt into her, and Buffy opened wide to receive it all.

Faith could have gone on forever, but she finally made herself stop when Buffy fell asleep. She grinned as she looked at her and kissed her way back up to her face. Yep, it was still the most beautiful face she’d ever seen.

She struggled to pull the covers up without waking her, and when she’d managed to do that, she eased Buffy into her arms and covered them both. She kissed the top of her head and smiled, deliriously happy to be where she was.

There were still a couple of hours until daylight, and she just wanted to savor every minute until then. She had the woman she loved all wrapped up in her

arms, something she’d thought was an impossible dream just a few days ago, and she didn’t want to miss a second of it.

Suddenly Buffy moved and Faith froze, but all that happened was that Buffy murmured in her sleep:

“Mmm, Faith.”

She then snuggled in closer, and it wasn’t thirty seconds before the snoring began.

Faith’s smile grew larger; she was so fucked. There was no way in hell that she could stay awake now, no matter how much she wanted to. Still, she wasn’t a pussy, so she gave it her best shot.

She didn’t last long. The easy rhythm of the loud, grating noise emanating from the gorgeous blonde in her arms had Faith’s eyes fluttering against her will. She kept struggling, but in just minutes she could feel herself going under. She finally gave in, uttering her last words of the night:

“I love you, B.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Buffy was putting the class through their paces, her eyes roaming over each girl, spotting their flaws and weak spots instantly. She gently adjusted their arms, tilted their hips to different angles, and nudged their feet into more balanced positions as she walked up and down the rows.

“Good, very good. You guys are showing crazy improvement.”

The energy viscerally picked up in the room, the new students beaming at the praise. Their backs and shoulders straightened, their punches and kicks flew faster because “The Slayer” had judged them and found them worthy. There wasn’t a girl in the room who didn’t feel proud of herself because Buffy Summers was it.

She was a legend, a hero who seemed larger than life, yet still somehow one of them. She laughed, she ate, she did goofy things just like everyone else because she was a real human being with real human concerns. Everyone understood that, but she was also “The Slayer”, the best one who had ever lived.

She had stopped more apocalypses than any other Slayer, and she had risen from the dead at least three times. She had loved and been loved by vampires, and she had rewritten a sacred handbook she had never even seen, a handbook that had subsequently been tossed aside as irrelevant.

She was the oldest of her kind, and she’d been down in the trenches longer than anyone had ever been meant to be. She had bent several times, but she had never broken, and she still stood strong and faced down evil without hesitation.

Every girl who came to the Academy was in awe, yet by the time they left, there was not one who would have hesitated to approach her. She was the Slayer, but she was also “Buffy”, and her kindness, humor, and wisdom drew them to her.

The class was now sailing, the atmosphere nothing but positive and encouraging, and Buffy was all smiles. It was exactly what she needed and she was relishing every minute of it. To her surprise she had discovered she enjoyed training the new recruits, and Giles always had her fill in whenever someone was called away.

That was her: Buffy Summers, substitute teacher. Except no one threw spitballs at her or refused to stop talking when it was time to start class. She had everyone’s respect, and not one student had ever wanted to waste a second, not when The Slayer was standing there ready to teach them something.

This was her last class for the day and Buffy had plans to enjoy the remaining hours of the warm sunlight. Andrew had a packed lunch ready for her and she was going to pick it up on her way to the lake. Her plan was to eat a leisurely and solitary lunch while reading a book and letting the afternoon drift past her. Well technically she was going to read a stack of magazines, but that part wasn’t her fault.

She’d asked Willow if she’d read any good books, and Willow had become almost insanely excited as she’d hurried over to her shelves to pick one out. After many false selections, she’d finally settled on a rather thick one:

“This one starts kinda slow, but stick with it. It gets really interesting!”

Buffy glanced down quickly to make sure there were no words like “physics” in sight, thanked her and left. A closer inspection revealed that the critics were hailing it as, “a modern masterpiece of complexity” and, “a story you’ll read again and again because you won’t be able to understand a single word it’s saying”.

Buffy knew she was inventing blurbs, but she could see from the cover and the other real comments on the back, that the book was way over her head. Willow continued to suffer under the delusion that her best friend was just as brilliant as she herself was, seeming to base that on the one time Buffy had received a better grade on a college paper and been chosen to head up a discussion group.

“Will, that was a grade from crazy, evil Professor Walsh, so…”

“But it happened before she knew you. It was a real grade.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t mean…”

It was like talking to a wall. A Willow wall. A wall of Willow that would not budge, and apparently Buffy still hadn’t learned not to ask her well-intentioned and amazingly stubborn friend for books. Thankfully she had several magazines she’d yet to look through.

She had them stashed in her backpack along with a blanket to sit on and a change of clothes. She was going to spend the afternoon alone, eating, reading, sleeping and not thinking about Faith. She was going to take a much needed break from their upsetting relationship, and she wasn’t going to let herself ponder any aspect of it.

Yep, everything was flowing along smoothly just like it was supposed to, and then just like that, everything changed.

The door swung open and even though she entered the room quietly, everything about the other original Slayer called attention to her. She was all cockiness and confidence, dressed in loose workout clothes that still somehow managed to cling to her many curves as she sauntered across the room.

“Hiya, B. Not late, am I?”

“…For what?”

The class slowed their workout, all eyes on the two women who although they were just talking, seemed to be squaring off for some sort of battle. No one was too sure what lay between them, but the rumor was that they had once been lovers and had parted due to some mysterious falling out that nobody had the lowdown on.

“Crossbow and knife lessons. “

She turned to face the class:

“How you guys doin’? Big day today, gonna show ya how to take down Bambi and then gut his sissy little ass.”

The class laughed. Faith was not well known personally, she’d only been around for a few weeks, but she always seemed casual and relaxed, and very friendly. Still, no one wanted to get on her bad side, there was something a little scary about her. It was as if they could sense the danger simmering right below the surface.

Everyone knew who and what she was: the Slayer who had lost her way and then somehow found it again. They knew she’d fought on the side of evil and they knew she’d murdered someone and gone to jail for it. But that back story seemed completely incongruous with the woman who strolled around the grounds laughing and joking with any and everyone.

Well, maybe not with everyone. There always seemed to be a great deal of tension between the two original Slayers, and Buffy’s somewhat haughty tone at the moment made that even clearer:

“I wasn’t informed you’d be here, so…”

“Well shit happens, and here I am. Okay, everybody get in two lines.”

The students moved to comply until Buffy’s voice rang out:

“Stay right where you are.”

She spun Faith around and almost lost control of her temper when she saw the familiar smirk.

“This is my class, and you can’t just come in here and take over.”

“Not a pissin’ contest, B. Just doing what I’m told.”

“Fine. And now I’m telling you to get the hell out of here.”

Faith’s smirk deepened:

“Sorry, but I’m gonna stick around.”

Buffy moved closer:

“I said, ‘Leave’.”

Faith took the last distance between them with a step:

“And I said, ‘No’.”

A smile appeared on Buffy’s face, but her eyes were like ice, cold and promising pain dead ahead. She spoke without looking away from Faith:

“Class dismissed.”

“Yeah guys, looks like Ms. Summers has a wicked case of PMS.”

No one laughed outright, although there were quite a few muffled snickers. Buffy’s body tensed, the struggle plain on her face as she fought to stay in control.

“I had a great week, but Rona will be back on Monday. Make sure you guys work on your kicks over the weekend.”

“Yeah, can’t beat gettin’ your kicks.”

The class left reluctantly, but they had no other choice. After the last girl had disappeared, Buffy snatched up her towel from a nearby bench and headed over to the refrigerator. She reached in for a bottle of water, and when she straightened up and closed the door, she found Faith mere inches behind her.

“All hot and bothered, B?”

Buffy tried to turn and face her, but there wasn’t enough room.

“Move back.”

“Why?”

“Faith, I’m counting to three and then I’m going to move you.”

“Ooh…scary, Slayer. Got me pissin’ my pants for sure.”

Faith moved closer, their bodies touching, her breath whispering along Buffy’s neck:

“C’mon B, really gonna pretend last night didn’t happen?”

“One…”

“What about all the nights before?”

“Two…”

Faith spun her around until they were face to face, her hands gripping Buffy’s shoulders:

“’Cause I don’t wanna pretend, B. I just wanna do it again.”

“Thr…”

Faith’s lips crashed down onto Buffy’s, her arms pulling their bodies together. Buffy struggled, but she was wrapped up tight and unable to move away. An insistent tongue sought entrance, and with a moan from deep in her throat, Buffy relented.

Her lips opened and her own tongue began dancing lightly with Faith’s. The iron grip loosened and Buffy dropped the water bottle, entwining her suddenly free hands in thick brown hair as she pulled Faith even closer.

“Jesus, B…I want you so bad.”

Buffy twisted and squirmed until she’d maneuvered Faith into position. She kissed her, then slammed her hard against the refrigerator. Faith grunt was one of pain, but neither of them slowed a bit.

“How bad do you want me? Tell me…”

“Bad enough to take you right here.”

Buffy nipped her ear and slid her mouth downward, leaving mark after mark behind as she traveled along the vulnerable column of Faith’s neck. Her leg came up between Faith’s, hard enough to actually lift her slightly into the air, and the groan thrust out of Faith sounded almost tortured.

She stood there, desperately riding along as Buffy’s leg began moving slowly back and forth, up and down. Her hot, wet lips were back at Faith’s ear, whispering in-between the delicate flicks of her tongue:

“Mmm, F…I probably…shouldn’t….”

Her words stopped for a moment as her leg sped up.

“…but don’t you wish I would?”

A low, sexy laugh sent a shiver through her, and then Buffy was walking away without so much as a look back. She made it three steps before Faith grabbed her hard enough to cut short her escape.

“Told ya the next time you tried that, we weren’t stopping ‘til we were both done.”

“I also told you I’d break your arm.”

“No you won’t.”

Faith’s arms encircled Buffy from behind, pinning her arms quite effectively against her body. She began placing tiny kisses along her neck and shoulder, her hands sliding lower the instant Buffy moaned.

She stayed on the outside of Buffy’s workout pants, but she found the spot she was searching for without a problem.

“Faith…stop now.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“The door is…open.”

Faith grinned against her throat:

“Wonder if somebody’s gonna catch us.”

“That’s not…That’s not funny.”

“Wasn’t supposed to be.”

She increased the pressure and in seconds Buffy was moving with her and sighing the little “Buffy” sighs Faith so loved to hear.

“Could take you right now, right in front of the whole damn school.”

Buffy was having trouble speaking. Her head flung back onto Faith’s shoulder and her hips began moving right in tune with the rhythm Faith had going.

“But you’re right…Door’s open, so we’ll stop.”

Buffy staggered and almost fell as Faith let go of her and walked over to the door. She pushed it closed and just managed to engage the lock before Buffy slammed her face first into it.

“OW! All worked up about somethin’, B?”

Buffy spun her around and kissed her hard. She left no space between them as she hauled her closer, wrapping her arms around her tightly. When she finally pulled away from Faith’s more than willing mouth, she said only two words:

“Fuck me.”

Faith hesitated, but Buffy was all done with waiting. She hooked her leg around Faith’s and shoved her down hard onto the mats.

“Fine, then I’ll fuck you.”

“B, maybe we should…”

“Oh yeah, we absolutely should, F.”

*********************************

It had gone on for three months now with no sign of changing. No matter what Faith tried to do, Buffy would only allow them to do two things together: slay and fuck. That’s what she called it and that’s what she tried to keep it at.

For her part, Faith refused to “fuck” Buffy, even when it was rough and quick. The love she felt was obvious and poured out of her with every touch, and Faith’s refusal to play the game the way Buffy wanted it played never failed to piss her off. She would do whatever she could to get back in control, and most times Faith would finally surrender and let her have her way.

She tried to be patient and let Buffy work out her anger, but as the days went by, there didn’t seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel. Clearly her current approach wasn’t the right one and Faith knew she had to try something else. It took her awhile, but she finally came up with a great idea.

The problem was she needed help, and that was how she found herself knocking on Willow and Kennedy’s door.

“Come in!”

She entered to find Willow sitting on the couch, papers strewn all over the coffee table.

“Hi.”

“Hey, Red. You…uh…You got a sec?”

“Sure,I’ve got several, why?”

“Where’s Silver Spoon?”

“She’s at the mall with some of the newbies.”

“Good, ‘cause I need to talk to you.”

Willow put down the ancient text she was busy not deciphering and gave Faith her full attention.

“I’d ask ‘about what’, but I’m pretty sure I already know.”

“Yeah, it’s about B. Thing is, I um…Has B said anything?”

“Yep, she says all kinds of stuff.”

“I mean, you know, about…”

“About sleeping with you? Her, I mean, not me with you…Or with her! Me, I mean. Not that both of you aren’t attractive and way…Yes, I know.”

Faith’s relief was palpable. She sat down in the chair across from Willow, her boot clad feet instantly resting on the one section of the tabletop that was paper free.

“Good, ‘cause it was gonna be a bitch to try and keep that a secret during this.”

“Nope, no secret keeping required. So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Okay, so you know how pissed B is with me?”

Willow’s face flushed as her anger came to the surface.

“I’d say she’s more than just ‘pissed’ and I think she’s got a right to…”

“Whoa, Tiger, don’t go all black-eyed, okay? I know what I did was wrong, really wrong, and I’m not lookin’ for sympathy or trying to blame B for anything. It’s all me, not trying to pretend otherwise.”

Willow still looked irate.

“What you did, Faith? It’s the worst thing anybody’s ever done to her.”

“I know that, but I want her back and I’m gonna get her.”

“And what about what she wants?”

Faith laughed:

“C’mon, you know it just like I do. B wants me back too, she just doesn’t wanna cop to it.”

“Well it’s good to see your ego didn’t shrink during your extended absence.”

“Not a matter of ego, Red, it’s a matter of fact. B and me, we love each other, and nothing anybody can ever do’s gonna change that. I wanna make it up to her, and no matter what she needs me to do, I’m gonna do it. She asks me to eat broken glass, gonna choke it down. B comes first here…so to speak.”

The heartfelt, “Faith-style” romantic words, coupled with the inappropriate innuendo, made Willow smile and shake her head.

“I don’t know how you do it, but it’s pretty much impossible to stay mad at you.”

“Just ask B to give ya lessons. Okay, here’s the deal…”

She sat up, her boots on the floor, her face sad and serious.

“…the sex isn’t the problem, ‘cept it’s all she’ll let us do. She won’t let us talk about anything, let alone the fucked up thing I did. She won’t let us be together in any other way, won’t even budge an inch towards us doing something normal together. If our pussies or a stake ain’t involved, B doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“She’s hurt, Faith, and I know for a fact she doesn’t trust you. She’s furious that she still wants you, and she’s trying to convince herself that the sex doesn’t really mean all that much.”

“Well it does. She fucks me and I make love to her, and both of those things mean everything anybody can think of. Look, I’m not here to bitch about B. She wants to keep treating me like a piece of shit, she’s earned that. Me? I wanna treat her the way she deserves. I got a plan to do something nice, something I know she’ll like, but I need your help.”

Willow looked panicked and shot to her feet:

“No way! You said this was a “talk” we were having, you didn’t say anything about taking your side!”

“Jesus Red, take it easy. Not asking you to take my side, honest. I just need your help to…”

“No! The only one here who gets my help is B…uffy.”

Faith smiled as she stood up:

“And that’s like it oughta be…uffy. Willow, I’m not going to hurt her. I learned my lesson, course the downside is I made everybody else learn it too. But I swear to you, I’m never leaving B again. I just wanna make her happy, just wanna show her I’m the one who can still do that.”

“And that all sounds good, in fact it sounds wonderful. But I am not going to help you.”

“Okay, tell ya what: let’s sit back down, I’ll clue ya in on what I have in mind, and then you see how you feel about doin’ it. Ya don’t feel right about it, we forget the whole deal and there’s no hard feelings.”

Willow looked uncertain, but she let Faith lead her gently back to the couch:

“Know you love B almost as much as I do. I promise, Willow, not gonna try and make you do somethin’ that’ll fuck things up between you.”

Willow still looked worried, but she just blew out a big sigh and nodded:

“I know I’m going to regret this, but okay. Tell me what you have in mind.”

Faith’s smile was so happy, Willow couldn’t help but smile back. She’d have to try and remember this warm bonding moment when Buffy was busy killing her.

“Okay, so here’s what I was thinking…”

It took her about five minutes to lay it all out, and Willow had to agree, Buffy would love it. There was only a fifty/fifty chance that it would make her relent even a little bit, but there was absolutely no doubt about her loving it…at least she would somewhere deep down inside.

Faith had the plan all figured out, but Willow’s role in it was a lot more crucial than she would have liked.

“I don’t know, Faith. I mean, I’ll be right in the middle of it.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I think we should suck Ken and Xand into it too. She can’t kill everybody, right? She might get a little pissy with you, but I figure her big ass kicking ‘Buffy’ rage will swing right back to me. It’s a win-win deal.”

“How is Buffy in an ‘ass kicking rage’ a win-win? You’re trying to make her less angry with you.”

Faith laughed:

“Yeah, okay, so maybe it’s not exactly got a smooth ending, but I gotta take what I can get. ‘Sides, I get to know that for at least a coupla hours I’m gonna make her happy, even if she won’t admit it. And hey, might even get to see a real smile from her…That’ll make any beating seem worth it.”

If anyone else had said something like that, Willow would have found it nothing but stupid, maybe even a little corny. But she knew Faith meant it, and there was something so endearing about her willingness to get herself killed just for the chance to see a real smile.

“All right, I’m in. When did you want to do this?”

“’Bout three years ago, but I’m gonna settle for Thursday. Gives you guys time to set things in motion and for me to nail’em down. That work for you?”

“Yes, that works for me. Do you need any help with the…”

“Oh man, do I fuckin’ ever. Think maybe tomorrow we could…”

“Sure. In for a penny, in for a pound.”

Faith was already on her feet, a puzzled look on her face:

“What’s that mean?”

Willow stood up too:

“It means since I’m already in it up to my neck, I might as well go ahead and dunk my head under.”

“Sounds about right. Thank you, Willow.”

Willow grinned and hugged her:

“Just try not to get killed, even if she does smile at you.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

Buffy blew out her breath in irritation as she got ready. She hadn’t wanted to go in the first place, and now she had to take a cab. That was just terrific, and for a second she considered getting into her pajamas, popping a huge bowl of popcorn, and watching stupid movies all night long.

She sighed again, wishing she hadn’t just given her promise to Xander. He’d phoned all breathless and excited, offering his apologies and suggestions:

“Sorry, Buffster, but it’s Will and Kennedy’s fault.”

“What is?”

“We’re downtown.”

“How can you be downtown when we’re supposed to leave in ten minutes?”

He sounded irritated:

“Well, Kennedy was visiting some friend, took Will with her, and then they got a flat tire and no spare.”

“And?”

“And they asked me to come get them, and since I still had to pick up my suit…”

“Okay, so tonight’s off then?”

He practically blew out her eardrum:

“NO! Tonight is still very much on.”

“Well don’t we have to be there soon? How will you guys have time to come home and…”

She heard a scuffle and then Willow was on the line:

“Hey, Buff. We’ll meet you at the restaurant, okay?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Kennedy and I planned on staying here until it was time to go, so we brought all of our stuff with us. We’re getting changed now.”

Buffy looked at herself in the mirror with a resigned expression:

“Oh, so we still have to go?”

“Buffy, would you stop acting like you’re on your way to kiss a slime demon? Yes, the night’s still on and it’s going to be fun.”

“I know, but…”

There was another fracas and apparently this time Xander won:

“Hey, it’s not every day yours truly wins a radio contest.”

“I know, but…”

“Dinner for four at the exclusive, expensive ‘Lakos Restaurant’.”

“I know, but…”

“And who did I invite to feast on the most delicious food in the whole city for absolutely free?”

“I know, but…”

“That’s right, my fine stable of lesbians…Ow! Will!”

“Xander, I know all of that, but…”

“Nope, sorry, you’ve reached your ‘but’ quota for tonight. Take a cab and just ask for the “Harris” table.”

“…Fine.”

He was distracted, she could hear Willow demanding that he hand over the phone.

“No, back off before I…Stop it, you big baby!”

“Xander, let’s just hang up. I’ll see you there.”

“You promise, Buff?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh no, no way is that good enough. I think this requires a Slayer promise.”

“Xander…”

“Let’s hear it, Buffster.”

“I said I’d be there, didn’t I?”

He snorted derisively:

“Buffy, I know what that tone means. It means you’re about two minutes from popping some corn and vegging out all night in front of the TV in your pjs.”

“No it doesn’t!”

She glanced at herself again, and this time she looked guilty.

“Please, you’re talking to a ‘Buffy” expert here, and I know what’s zipping around that beautiful noggin of yours. Now cough up the ‘Slayer’ promise.”

“Xander, I…Fine, I’ll be there. Slayer’s honor.”

“It’s gonna be big fun! Bye!”

He hung up and she stood looking at the phone:

“Oh yeah, the very biggest of fun.”

She got a dial tone and then hit “Memory # 9”.

“Alvin’s Cab Service”.

“Hey, Dave, it’s Buffy.”

“Hi, Buffy. We can have someone there in about fifteen minutes.”

“That’s perfect, thanks.”

“No prob.”

She hung up and took another quick look at herself in the mirror. Everything seemed in place so she turned on her desk lamp to make her return a little less lonely, grabbed some money for her cab fare, and then headed downstairs to wait for her ride.

**************************

She became a little more excited about the evening as she entered the restaurant. It really was a beautiful place, she’d forgotten just how beautiful. The last and only time she’d ever been inside was when she and Faith had eaten dinner at the secluded table in the corner, about three and a half years ago.

She smiled almost against her will as her thoughts drifted back to that night. She’d had to hound Faith to get her to participate, it was the whole dressing up part that she was opposed to.

“B, come on. Let’s just go to “Joe’s”.

“We always go there. I want to go someplace nice.”

“Okay, ‘Wolfy’s” then.”

“I want us to get dressed up and go someplace fancy.”

Faith looked at her suspiciously:

“How fancy?”

“I want to go to ‘Lakos’.”

“’Lakos’? No fucking way! You gotta wear a dress to a joint like that.”

“So? You wear dresses.”

“Are you fucking nuts? No I don’t, not ever!”

“You wore one to my ‘Homecoming Dance’.”

Faith wasn’t budging:

“Yeah, okay…once. I wore one once.”

“And you looked great.”

“How the fuck would you know? You never even spared a look. Too busy tryin’ to shove it up Queen C’s ass to compliment your date.”

“But I didn’t know you were my date.”

“Well let’s see: I asked ya out, put it in a way you could handle, got dressed up, tried to play nice…well, ‘cept for the part when I tore that little bitch Scott Hope a new one, but when ya consider I wanted to break his scrawny fucking neck for...”

Buffy slid over on the couch and straddled her. She began nibbling along her throat and rocking her hips slowly:

“But baby…I was…stupid…back then.”

“Point is, you had your chance. I’m…”

“Don’t …I deserve…a second…one?”

“B…”

“Please? I want…to get…all…pretty…”

Faith was squirming, and she knew she was in trouble.

“You’re already pretty.”

“…and I…want…to see you…get all…pretty.”

“B…”

“I’ll make it…worth…your…while…”

Buffy’s hand drifted down, rubbing just the right spot in just the right way.

“Please, Faith?”

“…Okay, if it means that much to ya.”

She could feel Buffy’s smile against her neck:

“Thank you.”

“You’re such a little shit.”

“True, but you love me anyway.”

“Fucking right.”

“Hmm…”

Buffy twisted her down onto the couch and then stood up:

“That sounds good, F.”

“What does?”

Buffy shrugged out of her clothes, and stood there wearing only a sexy grin.

“Fucking you right.”

Buffy tried to clear her head as she stood there waiting to be shown to Xander’s table, but it wasn’t easy. Their dinner that night had been so perfect. She had fallen even deeper in love with Faith, a woman who was so beautiful and loving, she’d had Buffy swooning before they’d even finished their meal.

“Ms. Summers? Right this way, please.”

She followed the hostess with her mind still lost in the past, only half noticing where they were going. It finally registered that they were entering the reserved section, or the “hoity toity” room as Faith had called it.

“Wow, the radio station is sparing no expense.”

The hostess merely smiled and gestured to Buffy to enter first.

Before she’d taken three steps into the room, she heard the familiar voice behind her:

“Thanks, Stace, I got it from here.”

Stacy left without a word and Buffy felt a gentle, but firm grip just above her elbow.

“What the…Faith, what the hell is this?”

Faith stepped around her so that they stood face to face:

“Lots of fancy names for it, but it’s a set-up, B.”

She looked so gorgeous; Buffy had to fight to get enough air to speak:

“A ‘set-up’?”

“Yeah, nobody else is coming. It’s just me and you, you know, like a date.”

“A ‘date’.”

Faith pulled out a chair:

“Here ya go.”

“And what makes you think I’m going to stay?”

“Nothing, I’m just hoping like hell you will. Least long enough for me to explain.”

They stood staring at each other for a long moment until Buffy sat down with more than a little reluctance.

“You’ve got two minutes, starting now.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Faith sat across the table from Buffy, clearly nervous.

“First thing is, don’t be mad at the guys. They didn’t do this for me, they did it for you.”

“Well why ever they did it, they are so getting their asses…”

“B, it’s on me. I kinda talked’em into it, didn’t really leave’em much choice.”

“Whatever. What are we doing here?”

Faith said nothing as she sat staring at Buffy like she was in a trance.

“Faith, the clock is ticking.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, right. Sorry, it’s just…Jesus B, you are so damn beautiful.”

Buffy felt a jolt of warmth scorch its way through her, but she refused to let it make a difference.

“I think you’re down to thirty seconds.”

“Look…I’m just trying to do something nice for you, maybe swing a little happiness your way.”

“Because?”

“Because I love you and I want you happy.”

“Well excuse me if I find that more than a little hard to believe.”

Faith looked miserable, but she didn’t break eye contact.

“I know you do, and I’m sorry about that. But B, can’t we just share a meal together? It doesn’t have to be a big deal, just think of it as me finally paying off a bet I lost.”

Buffy thought back to the wager she’d won on that last happy night with Angel, staring off into space and eventually making Faith uneasy with her silence:

“B, is this time comin’ outta mine, ‘cause…”

That nearly made her laugh out loud, her eyes returning to rest on Faith’s:

“No, it’s separate time. How come no one else is in here when there are…five other tables?”

“I bought’em out.”

“’You ‘bought them out’?’”

“Yeah, wanted it to be just us.”

Buffy quirked an eyebrow:

“But this is a ‘no big deal’ date?”

“Not if you don’t want it to be.”

“You’re wearing a dress.”

“Yeah, but only ‘cause they got a dress code.”

Buffy bent down to look under the table:

“And you have actual dress shoes on.”

“Yeah.”

“And your hair’s up.”

“Felt like a change.”

“I see.”

Faith waited, giving her another minute to think it over:

“So B, could you maybe stay awhile?”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Maybe not, but would ya anyway?”

“No promises, I might leave at any time.”

Faith’s smile made her look even more stunning.

“Understood. Want a drink?”

“…Sure. I could use some alcohol.”

Faith signaled and the waiter appeared so quickly, Buffy wondered if he’d simply materialized into existence.

“May I start you lovely ladies off with something to drink?”

“Yep. We’ll have that wine I picked out earlier.”

“Wine? Faith, you hate wine.”

“Not that bad, and you...”

“Bring her a Sam Adams. I’ll stick with the wine.”

He nodded and left without a word.

“B, tonight’s about you. I don’t…”

“You choking down wine isn’t going to make me happy. If I wanted to torture you, I’d pick something a lot more painful.”

“Okay, thanks.”

“Your dress is amazing.”

“You like it?”

“Of course I like it. Red’s always been your color, you look absolutely incredible.”

Faith blushed and began fiddling with her silverware as Buffy looked around the room.

“It’s beautiful in here, all of the flowers. I didn’t know they decorated with roses.”

“They don’t.”

Buffy looked shocked:

“You bought all of them?”

“Yeah well, I know you like different ones at different times, so I got some of every color.”

“God, Faith! That must have cost…How much did this cost?”

The waiter saved her from having to answer by arriving with their drinks.

“Ms. Lehane, shall we proceed with the meal you’ve planned out or will there be other changes as well?”

“That’s up to Ms. Summers. B?”

“…We’ll be sticking with Ms. Lehane’s plan, thank you.”

“Splendid! I’ll be back with the appetizers shortly.”

Faith smiled happily across the table at her:

“Think you’re gonna like the food.”

“I still might leave at any second.”

“Okay, I’ll tell him to bring a doggy bag with each course.”

Buffy laughed and an honest to goodness “Buffy” smile lingered close behind it.

“This doesn’t mean anything, Faith.”

“I know. We’re just two chicks out for a quick bite.”

Buffy shook her head, a smile still on her face:

“Damn, I’d forgotten how good you are at this.”

“At what, B?”

“Charming me.”

Faith sipped her beer before she answered:

“Not trying to charm you.”

“You’re not?”

“No, I’m trying to…Well yeah, okay. I’m trying to charm you. Is it working?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Gonna keep at it then.”

Faith made sure to stay on the light side the whole night. She talked about slaying, the new students, television shows, movies, music, clothes, Dawn, anything that would keep that smile on Buffy’s face.

It took about fifteen minutes before Buffy fully relaxed, and from that moment on, everything just got better and better. She spoke to Faith like she actually liked her, laughing at her jokes, teasing her gently instead of with a vicious need to cut her to ribbons, and smiling that warm smile that had Faith feeling like she was on top of the world.

As the meal wound down, they heard the band starting up in the other room. Faith took a deep breath and just went for it:

“B, would you like to dance?”

Buffy just sat there, the battle waging inside of her clearly illuminated on her face. Finally she shook her head in disbelief, and with a self-deprecating grin she answered:

“Why not?”

Faith dimples flashed and she was out of her chair before Buffy had finished speaking. She took her hand gently, pulling her to her feet as she led them a few steps from their table. Her own hands trembled slightly as they gripped Buffy’s, and then it was all perfection.

The song was slow, and they began moving in time to it. At first Buffy remained stiff, but as the song continued she began to loosen up, her body molding itself to Faith’s. They danced gracefully in a perfect rhythm, and it wasn’t long before the music became irrelevant. They were moving to something only they could hear, something that only made its presence known when they were together.

Buffy’s hands let go and her arms wrapped around Faith’s waist, pulling her closer. Faith responded by letting her own hands slide just under the fabric of Buffy’s backless dress, and the feeling of the warm, soft skin had her edging in even further. Her fingers began stroking with feather light touches, and Buffy moaned as she grazed her lips along the bare skin of Faith’s shoulder:

“Mmm…you smell so good.”

“So do you, B.”

Buffy’s mouth leisurely examined the column of Faith’s throat, and Faith couldn’t stop the tremor that shot through her.

“I love when you have your hair up. It makes it so easy to do this…”

Faith groaned as Buffy’s teeth scraped the sensitive skin just under her jaw.

“You’re shaking, Faith.”

“Yeah, well I’m about to dissolve into a puddle.”

“Because I’m doing this?”

Buffy pressed into her tightly, rocking slowly while her mouth continued exploring along Faith’s throat.

“No, because you’re Buffy.”

Buffy’s laugh was low and sexy, and Faith was suddenly glad she’d worn underwear.

“So I see you’re still trying to charm me.”

“Just statin’ a fact.”

“Wanna leave, F?”

“If you do.”

“Oh I do, I definitely do.”

“Then we’re gone.”

Buffy hesitated:

“Do we need to get the check?”

“No, I pre-paid.”

“Then let’s go.”

They left by the exit door in the hoity toity room which led into a small private parking lot. Giles’ convertible was the only car in sight, and it sat just a few feet away. Faith opened the door for Buffy, but she didn’t get in.

Instead, she ran her hand all the way from Faith’s shoulder down between her breasts, circling first the right one and then the left as she made her way back up to where she’d started from. She then walked her fingers down the bare length of Faith’s arm, and that sexy knowing laugh sounded again.

“Are you cold, F?”

“…C…Cold?”

“Goosebumps and perky nipples. What else could cause them?”

She slid into the car and Faith slammed the door closed, nearly running around to the driver’s side.

It took them fourteen minutes to get home, fourteen minutes in which Buffy touched, rubbed, pinched, and caressed every single area she could reach on Faith. When they finally arrived at their destination, the car came to a jerky stop, and Faith’s ragged breathing made it sound like she’d run all the way home instead of using an automobile for the journey.

She was out of the car almost before it stopped, and Buffy wasn’t far behind. Faith grabbed her, pushing her against the hood as she kissed her like a women who’d been driven to the edge, her hands roaming all over Buffy’s body until she had her moaning loudly.

They kissed and groped each other all the way up to Buffy’s room, and somehow they made it unseen. Buffy opened her door and walked in backwards, pulling Faith along with her…and then Faith stopped moving.

“Coming, F?”

“As close as you can get.”

“Then let me take you the rest of the way.”

Faith didn’t move, even though she looked like she wanted nothing more than to sprint into Buffy’s room.

“God, I want to so much, B…but I can’t.”

“Faith, stop playing around. Get in here.”

Buffy reached for her arm to pull her forward, but Faith dodged her grasp.

“B, tonight was so beautiful, ya know? I felt like I was in heaven.”

“And that’s what it’s going to feel like again if you’ll just...”

“I can’t come in tonight.”

“Are you kidding me?”

Faith shook her head, looking like she couldn’t believe it herself.

“It’s been a perfect night, and I can’t come in and let you fuck me. Tomorrow night, sure, whatever you want. But just for now, B, I just wanna enjoy how I feel. ‘Cause I feel close to you, like maybe I can some day get you back. If I come in and let you fuck me, I’m gonna lose that feeling, and that’ll hurt too much. Please… just let me have this for a few hours, okay?”

Buffy stood there with her mouth hanging open slightly, her expression reflecting her utter astonishment.

“Thanks for a great night and for staying for the whole meal. You’re absolutely amazing, the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

Faith took Buffy’s hand and raised it to her lips for a gentle kiss.

“Goodnight, B.”

And then she turned and walked down the hall to Angel’s room, looking back only when she had the door open. Buffy stood there watching her and Faith smiled:

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Then she was in the room with the door closed.

Buffy did the same, feeling bewildered. Faith…Faith Lehane had just turned her down for sex. She, Buffy Summers, was just shot down by her, Faith Lehane. She glanced out her window and felt a huge sense of relief when she saw no pigs flying by.

She undressed by habit, letting her clothes fall where they fell as she headed into the bathroom to remove her makeup and use the facilities. Her mind wasn’t even remotely on what she was doing, it was instead remembering the look on Faith’s face when she had declined to come in.

It had been a heartbreaking look, but a loving one. A grown-up look that had somehow made Faith seem like a little kid who was trying to be brave. Buffy’s pajama bottoms went on, but she had no idea she was sliding into them. Even pulling the white tank top over her head didn’t gain her attention.

She stood in the middle of her room and wondered what she was doing. The night had been perfect. It had stirred up so many emotions, so many memories, and Buffy couldn’t deny that all of them felt good.

They felt more than good, they felt right, and for the first time in forever, they felt like they belonged to her. She could feel herself coming back to life during the meal, could feel herself letting go of so many things, and she didn’t try to hang onto any of them. She just didn’t have the time or the desire.

She was too busy laughing, eating, drinking, and falling in love all over again. It was stupid, it was ridiculous, hell, it was even impossible, but somehow three months and a romantic dinner had managed to make two and a half years of desertion seem as if they didn’t really matter all that much.

It didn’t make sense, it wasn’t sensible, but it was how she felt. At this moment she didn’t feel angry or betrayed or hurt. What she felt right now was the warm and happy glow that Faith always made her feel. She felt loved and wanted, and she felt safe.

The woman at the end of the hall was everything to Buffy, and no matter what had gone on between them, that had never changed. Maybe it made her stupid, maybe it made her weak…God, it probably even made her wrong, but she didn’t care. She wanted to be with Faith.

She didn’t want to hurt her, not emotionally and not physically. She didn’t want to pay her back, she didn’t want to see her suffer. She just wanted to make love to her and then after they were done, she just wanted to be wrapped up together with her, right where they both belonged.

A voice shouted at her that it shouldn’t be that easy. It kept saying that Faith didn’t deserve another chance, that she couldn’t be trusted, but Buffy didn’t believe that. She never really had.

Because the truth of it was: Faith deserved a million chances, she deserved every break Buffy could offer to her. Maybe it shouldn’t be this easy, but it was because love was just like that sometimes. Messy, painful, crazy, and inexplicable, but love nonetheless.

Sometimes a pretty red dress, dark hair piled up on top of a head, your favorite flowers, your favorite food, and loving eyes that met yours with regret and sorrow and shame and passion and desire and every other emotion ever known to anyone, well sometimes those things covered the biggest of sins.

Sometimes a woman walking away so that she could remember the feeling of being loved, a woman who shook with desire but turned away anyway, well sometimes that spoke a truth that pushed aside every mistake ever made.

Buffy had no idea what it would mean if she just let it go and forgave Faith, but she did know she didn’t care anymore. She’d find out what it meant when they got there, and whatever was waiting for them would be okay because it would be theirs. They would be together, muddling through life the best they could, and there wasn’t a damn thing wrong with that.

She didn’t knock, she just walked in, locking the door behind her. She headed over to the bed and sat down, not uttering a sound. The moonlight streaming in from the open curtain revealed the tears on Faith’s cheeks.

“B…What are you doing?”

“I don’t know.”

“Look, I’m sorry. Wasn’t tryin’ to lead you on. If you wanna do it…you know, I can…”

“Shhh…I want…I need to be with you. Will you let me, Faith?”

“Buffy, please I can’t take this tonight. I know I got it coming, but please don’t do this to me. You wanna have sex, okay. But don’t pretend it’s…”

Buffy leaned down and kissed her gently.

“No more games, no more pretending. We don’t have to do anything, but would you just hold me tonight?”

“B, are you sure?”

“Yes. I want to be with you.”

Faith held out her arms and Buffy lay down inside them. Neither of them said another word as they stayed awake until late into the night.

It was Buffy who drifted off first, the tiny kisses she’d been placing right above Faith’s breast became slower, her lips making contact longer and longer until her mouth relaxed and her lips stilled. Faith kissed the top of her head, her tears still trickling out occasionally, and Buffy snuggled in closer, her hand coming up to rest comfortably on Faith’s breast.

That feeling of heaven was back, and Faith sighed contentedly as she felt herself drifting off towards sleep. She was surrounded by all things Buffy: the warm soft skin, the silky blonde hair, the enticing fragrance she would never get enough of, and she felt like she was home.

The snoring began and Faith let herself go with it, praying that when she awoke she wouldn’t find it had all been just a dream.

“Please…”

And then Faith was asleep.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

When Faith woke up, she was alone in her bed. It wasn’t exactly a surprise, but no matter how much she had tried to be ready for it, she still felt like she’d been punched right in the gut. For a minute she couldn’t breathe, and she had to make herself calm down.

She lay there on her back staring up at the ceiling, pushing away the tears and pain as she told herself that everything was fine. She’d known winning Buffy back was going to be a long process, and nothing had changed when it came to that. She was in it for the long haul, and even if it took forever it wouldn’t matter. She wasn’t going anywhere, and nothing unexpected had happened, well, except that she had somehow gotten a perfect moment last night.

Being ungrateful wasn’t Faith’s style, and she tried to make herself concentrate on the good stuff. She’d gotten to hold Buffy all night long because Buffy had asked her to, and for a few amazing hours, she had just let herself love Faith again. That was the thing to focus on because if it had happened once, there was no reason to think it couldn’t happen again.

That was just logic, plain and simple, but that punched in the gut feeling had come back and Faith had to struggle to breathe again. She could feel a tear trickling its way down the side of her head, and she just let it go. Waking up alone after holding everything she wanted the most hurt, so much so she had no idea how she was going to manage to make it out of bed. Maybe she could just…

“Faith, do you know how much longer you’re going to stare at the ceiling?”

Faith’s head jerked to the side to see Buffy sitting calmly at the small table by the window.

“B! Uh…I…uh…”

She couldn’t form words. All she could do was grin like a fool.

“So I’m guessing from that smile you thought I was gone.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you’re not completely wrong. I did have a big freak out when I first woke up, and I ended up leaving.”

“…Don’t blame you.”

“But then I realized I didn’t want to go, so I decided to get us breakfast instead. I’ve just been waiting for you to wake up.”

Faith could smell the food now that the panic was no longer controlling her, and her stomach rumbled in response.

“Coulda woke me, B.”

“I thought about it, but you were sleeping so good.”

“Yeah, I was. Best sleep I’ve had in forever.”

Buffy looked away almost shyly:

“…Me too.”

“Smells great.”

“Andrew had everything ready, so I got us all kinds of stuff.”

“Andy’s good like that.”

Buffy busied herself with uncovering the plates and pouring the drinks. After a couple of minutes when there was no movement from the bed, she looked at Faith:

“Are you planning to join me at some point?”

“Yeah, it’s just…well, I’m naked here.”

Buffy smiled:

“I know, I slept on you all night, remember?”

“Not somethin’ I’d forget.”

“So?”

“I know it’s dumb, but I…”

“Should I close my eyes or go get you some clothes?”

“Could you just close’em? I’ll head to the bathroom.”

“Okay. And I promise I won’t peek, no matter how much I want to.”

Buffy closed her eyes and Faith hopped out of the bed:

“Be right back, B.”

“I’ll be here.”

That had Faith grinning big again and feeling way too giddy for so early in the morning.

She did her thing, washed up a little, and then looked around for some clothes she could put on. All that was available was a robe hanging on the back of the door where she’d put it years ago, a gag gift to welcome Angel to his new home.

It was red velour, which he would have hated, and to make it even worse, she’d gotten it inscribed on the back:

“Caution: Hot Stud Inside”

It made her laugh, but she wasn’t about to wear it while she had breakfast with Buffy. She grabbed an oversized towel and wrapped it around herself, cinching it good and tight.

When she got back to the table, Buffy froze in mid-bite, her toast suspended between her plate and her mouth.

“Am I not supposed to ravish you right now?”

“Huh?

“Faith, you’re wrapped in a towel. You look like sex.”

“It’s not like I’m all wet.”

Buffy shoved a plate at her and muttered quietly under her breath:

“Well I am.”

Faith laughed:

“Want me to put some clothes on?”

“No. But if I jump you…”

“I’ll understand.”

They ate in relative silence and when they were done, Faith began searching in the bag for anything they might have missed.

“Stop being such a pig, Faith. There’s nothing left, besides you had more than half anyway.”

“Aha!”

She proudly held up a brown grape, and Buffy looked at in disgust:

“Wow, what a find…a rotten grape.”

“It’s not rotten, just kinda ripe.”

She popped it into her mouth:

“Mmm…now that hits the spot.”

She grabbed her glass of orange juice and leaned back, downing it in one long go. Buffy sipped at her tea, amazed as always by how much Faith could eat.

“That was wicked tasty. Thanks for getting it, B.”

“You’re welcome, although how we could be so hungry after that delicious dinner…”

“Yeah, being a Slayer’s a bitch sometimes.”

That sat quietly, neither really looking at the other. After a couple of awkward minutes, Faith began fidgeting and Buffy sighed out a deep breath:

“So, Faith…”

“Yeah, I agree. Let me get dressed and maybe we could move it to the couch?”

Buffy picked up her tea and headed to one end of the sofa while Faith pulled some clothes out of her bag, and disappeared into the bathroom again. She was back in just a couple of minutes, plopping down on the other end of the couch where she instantly began playing with one of the throw pillows. Buffy sipped at her tea, then placed her cup and saucer down on the coffee table:

“Any idea who should go first?”

“Think that oughta be your call, B.”

“Okay. I guess I’ll start it off then.”

“Ready when you are.”

Buffy said nothing for a long time, and when she finally did, her voice came out soft and small.

“I can’t believe you did that to me.”

Faith said nothing, waiting for her to let it out.

“I tried to hold on, but I just couldn’t after awhile. It was…You hurt me so much, Faith.”

“I know I did. I’m sorry, Buffy.”

“…You weren’t ever coming back, were you?”

“No, I wasn’t. If they hadn’t come to get me, I still wouldn’t be here.”

Buffy took a sip of her tea, and the cup shattered when she sat it back down.

“What am I supposed to think about that?”

“That I’m a selfish bitch.”

“Yeah, well, you’ll get no argument here.”

“Not from here either.”

Neither spoke as they let their words settle.

“Faith, I need you to explain. Yes, I’ve figured stuff out, but I need to hear it from you.”

“Okay, sure. Where do you want me to start?”

Buffy stared off into space, her face lost in thought.

“I guess we should start off with something easy.”

“Yeah, that’d be good.”

Buffy’s eyes looked directly into Faith’s:

“So how many other girls did you sleep with?”

“Jesus, B. That’s ‘easy’?”

“Well as it turns out, there aren’t any easy topics.”

Faith stood up and went to the window, looking out intently at absolutely nothing. The sun was out, hot and bright, but she couldn’t feel any heat through the glass. It was obviously vamp proof all the way.

“Are you going to answer me?”

“Think you already know the answer.”

“I do.”

“But you wanna hear me say it.”

“Yes.”

“…I fucked nine girls.”

“Describe them to me.”

“B…”

Buffy’s voice rose for the first time:

“Describe them to me, Faith!”

“Small, blonde, pretty.”

“Why?”

“B, c’mon…”

“Wow, it sure doesn’t look very good for us when you can’t even make it through the ‘easy’ topics.”

“…I fucked them because they looked like you.”

“So you missed me?”

Faith turned away from the window to look at her:

“Of course I missed you.”

“But you still wouldn’t come home.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Did you ever think about me when you weren’t screwing my stand-ins?”

“Buffy, I thought about you every fucking second of every fucked up day.”

Buffy was furious, her eyes almost shooting out fire:

“Really? So what were your thoughts about me when you took on a nest of twelve vampires by yourself?”

“…”

“How about the time you went up against seven Polgara demons in their cozy, ‘one way in, one way out’ underground lair?”

“…”

“Tell me, Faith, was I on your mind when you got shot because you stormed that house in the woods, even though you knew there were fifteen bikers all with weapons just waiting for you to show up?”

Faith had gone back to staring out the window, but Buffy wasn’t having it.

“I’d suggest you bring your ass back to this couch and face me like you actually give a shit.”

Faith sat back down, her eyes struggling to meet Buffy’s.

“I don’t know… I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, you were telling me how you thought about me all the time, so why don’t you explain to me exactly how that works. How did I factor in when you were busy trying to get yourself killed every fucking second of every fucked up day?”

“B…”

Buffy grabbed Faith’s chin with an unyielding grip and yanked her head up hard, forcing her to look at her.

“Were you thinking about how scared I was? Were you thinking about how I didn’t know what to do? Maybe you were thinking about how I had to fight with myself every day not to run to you. Or maybe you were thinking about how I cried every night because I couldn’t help you.”

Faith tried to look away, but Buffy wouldn’t let her.

“Maybe you were thinking about how I knew it was just a matter of time until you finally managed to get yourself killed. Maybe you were thinking about how I was going to have to live with all of that pain and guilt. Maybe you were thinking about how I felt like my life was over… Do any of those things sound familiar?”

Buffy let go and stood up. She went into the kitchen and came back with a new cup of tea and a towel. Faith watched her as she carefully picked up the broken porcelain and blotched up the spilled tea.

“B…”

“Don’t say anything to me, not unless it’s somehow going to make things better. Because this is it, Faith, the one thing I can’t understand.”

Buffy looked like she wanted to cry, but she also looked like she wanted to slay, so Faith stayed silent and perfectly still.

“I know how much you loved Angel, and I know why you had to run. I even know why you shut me out. You wanted me to blame you and when I wouldn’t, well that wasn’t good enough for you. You wanted to be hurt, to be punished, and when you couldn’t get that from me, you went off to find it somewhere else.”

Buffy straightened up and sat back down.

“I’m not blaming you for any of that, not really. I get it, I got it then. I saw your face that day, the moment when you knew you had to kill Angel, and I knew what it was going to do to you, to us. I also knew there wasn’t anything else you could do.”

She took a sip of her tea, then carefully sat the cup back down.

“I understand all of that, and I don’t hold it against you. Killing Angel was the most horrible thing that could have ever happened.”

The silence was back, and Faith didn’t have the first clue what she should do. Many minutes passed with neither of them saying anything, each seemingly lost in their own world. When Buffy finally spoke up, voice was distant and full of pain.

“Did you know for a long time I blamed myself? I was sure it was my fault that Angel died.”

Faith’s gaze lifted from the floor to look at Buffy.

“I was positive if I hadn’t been so stupid, if I hadn’t let myself get captured, none of it would have happened like it did. But it did and I…”

“B, it wasn’t your fault. Don’t do that to…”

“Shut up! Don’t you dare let me off the hook when you won’t do the same for yourself.”

Faith felt raw and uncertain as Buffy’s rage filled the room. Her mind whirled as she searched for a way to make things right, a way to make it easier for Buffy.

“What can I say to make this better? What can I do? Just tell me, B. Just tell me and I’ll do it.”

“You can explain to me how it’s possible that you left me for two and a half years and spent every minute of that time trying to get yourself killed without once ever considering how that made me feel. You can explain to me how I’m ever supposed to trust you again when you just admitted that you wouldn’t even be here now if we hadn’t brought you back. Can you explain any of that to me, Faith?”

Faith’s voice was barely audible:

“No.”

“No, I didn’t think you could. I guess that makes us even.”

“What do you mean?”

Buffy shook her head in resigned disbelief:

“Because I can’t explain why I still love you so much, and I can’t explain why the sight of you cringing in front of me and feeling so bad you can’t even look at me, doesn’t give me at the very least, a small sense of satisfaction. But it doesn’t, Faith. Right now all it does is make me want to comfort you in any way I can, and I don’t have an answer for that, no matter how hard I try to come up with one.”

“I’m so sorry, B.”

“I know you are. I totally, one hundred percent know you are, but that shouldn’t matter, not after what you’ve put me through. And yet somehow it does, maybe even more than anything else.”

Buffy walked over to look out the window, her face sad and confused as she stared out into the sunshine.

“God, I feel so crazy. Sometimes I see you and I wanna hurt you. I know where all your weak spots are, and I wanna hit every one of them until you’re begging me for mercy. I wanna drag you through all the pain I can deliver, and then I wanna hurt you some more.”

Faith sat still, the whole “hard to breathe” thing was back, and she felt like screaming and crying.

It took a while, but Buffy finally turned back to her and looked her in the eye:

“But no matter what, the thing I want most is you. I want you back, Faith.”

She still felt like screaming and crying, but her breath was coming easier now.

“I still don’t know what to do, B.”

“Yeah……Well, I guess that means we’re going to have to figure it out together, because I’m not letting you go again.”

“…Me either.”

“Then that’s where we start.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Buffy stretched and yawned, then snuggled back into the bed comfortably. She was supposed to be getting up, but she didn’t want to. Faith had exhausted her the night before, and Buffy felt every inch the well-satisfied woman that she was. She couldn’t stop smiling as she thought of the things they’d done to each other.

She rolled over to Faith’s side of the bed and breathed in deep, wrapping her arms around her pillow. It smelled so good, and if Faith wasn’t going to be lazing around in bed when she was supposed to be, well then Buffy wasn’t above lavishing her affections on her lover’s pillow.

The warmth of the sunlight that was streaming in through the window just made it tougher for Buffy to rouse herself. She could have happily stayed where she was forever, inhaling her favorite fragrance as she waited for its source to return. Besides, she had no appointments or responsibilities, why should she get up?

Last night had been their anniversary, one year since they’d gotten back together, and the look on Faith’s face when she’d seen Buffy’s gift was a sight that was going to stick with Buffy until her dying day. It had taken a lot of planning, some embarrassing help from Willow, and then all that was left was for Faith to unwrap and enjoy her present.

Buffy had ordered her to be home on time, and Faith had promised that she would be. She’d looked disappointed when Buffy had turned down her offer of a night out at “Lakos”.

“But B, kinda our spot, and I thought…”

“It is our spot, but I want us to stay home tonight.”

“Yeah, but I had this whole thing planned and…”

Buffy thrust out her bottom lip, knowing Faith didn’t stand a chance if she pouted.

“Please, Faith? I want to spend a quiet evening together, just talking.”

Faith looked like she’d rather be dead, but she didn’t argue:

“Well, okay. But are you sure, B, ‘cause I had a really great…”

“I’m positive. Can you please be home early?”

Faith leaned down and gently sucked Buffy’s pouty lower lip into her mouth, turning the simple gesture into a hot and steamy kiss.

“I can be whatever whenever ya want. How’s four?”

Buffy smiled and as soon as the door closed, she was on the phone to Willow.

“Hey, Will, it’s me. Is everything…Great! Can you… An hour’s perfect. Thanks, Will!”

Willow came over and explained everything as she delivered the goods, her face as red as Buffy’s the entire time. When she left, Buffy spent the afternoon preparing: washing, waxing, shaving, moisturizing, and any other thing she could think of.

She took a last look around and was pleased to see that she had everything done. The drinks were chilled, the food was ready to heat up when they wanted it, and there was nothing left for her to do except prepare herself.

Faith was due home any second, and Buffy wasted no time. She used her teeth for the last one, then laid back and waited. It wasn’t two minutes before she heard the front door slam:

“B, I’m home!”

Buffy said nothing, biding her time because she knew exactly what Faith was doing. She was opening a beer, slugging half of it down in one sip, and grabbing a handful of whatever was handiest and shoving it into her mouth.

“Alright, take-out from ‘Wolfy’s’!”

Her speech was all muffled and distorted from the food she’d crammed into her mouth.

“Hey Blondie, got some flowers out here with your name on’em!”

She was approaching the bedroom door, grumbling under her breath:

“Fuckin’ tells me to be here, then not even fucking here herself. What’s that shit all ab…”

Faith opened the door and then stood completely still. She looked like she’d been frozen, her bottle of beer hanging dangerously loose in her hand.

Buffy said nothing, but the sight of her said everything there was to say. Faith’s eyes were all over her, and Buffy could feel herself reacting to the lustful stare.

“Wha…Uh…Buffy…What’s…?”

“What’s it look like, F?”

Faith had to clear her throat before she could answer:

“Like every fantasy I’ve had since I met you.”

“I see.”

Faith did nothing except continue to stand where she was, clearly dazed.

“So F, in these fantasies, do you usually just stand around?”

Faith blinked several times as if waking up and she approached the bed:

“No, usually get busy without much delay.”

“Well, then I’d say this is your golden opportunity.”

Faith crouched down next to the bed, placing her beer on the nearby nightstand:

“B, you don’t need…I know there’s some other shit involved and…”

“There’s nothing involved here except me and you.”

“B…”

“What? You’re so whipped now you don’t know what to do when you find a naked woman tied up in your bed?”

And there it was, that sexy, slightly scary gleam in Faith’s eyes as she stood up and delicately began fondling the restraints:

“So, guessing these are Slayer-proof?”

“Yep, no getting out of them until you say so. But you might want to tighten the right hand one, I had to use my teeth and…”

Faith yanked on it, making Buffy yelp in surprise as she tugged it almost too tight. She did the same with the other three ties, then sat down next to Buffy on the bed and began running her hand lightly up and down her body.

“You’re skin’s so soft and smooth...”

Buffy was already squirming.

“Mmm…that feels good.”

“Can promise it’s gonna get better. What’s the safe word?”

“Do I need one?”

“Probably.”

”How about ‘motorvate’?”

Faith laughed:

“You are such a little shit.”

“Ooh…Are you going make me pay?”

“No B, I’m gonna make you scream.”

And she had.

Fifteen minutes into it, Buffy was pleading. Five minutes after that, she was begging. By the time the half hour mark rolled around, Buffy was babbling as Faith sat next to her, fully clothed as she finished off her second beer.

“Faith, please…”

“What? Ya want some beer?”

She poured the cold liquid over Buffy’s breast, then followed behind it with her mouth. Buffy jerked hard on the restraints, and if Willow hadn’t magically strengthened them as well as the headboard, she would have been free.

“Whoa, easy there, B. Not like you’re goin’ anywhere.”

Faith stood and slowly began stripping off her clothes, caressing herself as she went.

“Mmm…bet you wish you could do this.”

“Faith…”

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to....”

Buffy’s voice broke off in a strangled groan of lust as Faith sat astride her leg:

“Sure, I wouldn’t mind. I’m kinda turned on.”

She remained out of reach but well within sight as she pleasured herself. She thrust against Buffy’s knee and it wasn’t long before she came…and Buffy right with her.

Faith took a minute to catch her breath, then began laughing as she sat up:

“B, did you just…”

“Yes.”

“How’s that possible? All I was touching was your knee.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well I say a response like that deserves a reward.”

Faith untied her legs, tossed them over her shoulders and soon had Buffy screaming uncontrollably. She finally stopped and slid up until she could reach the last two restraints.

She kissed Buffy and then untied her.

“What are you doing?”

“Was a wicked present, B. Always wanted you at my mercy, but turns out I need you touching me more than anything else.”

“Oh, well I can do that too.”

They made love on and off all night long, and when they weren’t having sex, they were eating and drinking as they lay together in bed.

Their latest round had left Buffy sprawled out with her head in Faith’s lap as Faith played with her hair.

Hey, B?”

“Uh-huh?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Faith.”

Faith untangled herself much to Buffy’s displeasure and walked over to their dresser. She came back with a jewelry box.

Buffy sat up eagerly:

“Is that for me?”

“No B, it’s for my other girl. Just thought maybe you could gimme an opinion.”

“Shut up!”

Buffy smacked her on the shoulder and took the box from her. She opened it to find the necklace and pendant she’d been lusting after for weeks.

“I love it, Faith. It’s beautiful!”

“Figured you would. Had’em write on it.”

Buffy turned it over and read out loud:

“B, gonna stick like glue. Love, F.”

Buffy teared up:

“God, I love you so much.”

Faith smiled and put the necklace on her.

“Looks good.”

“Does it?”

“Yeah, ‘specially the way it hangs between your tits.”

It had been a good night, maybe the best, and Buffy had no desire to get out of bed. Just five more minutes though and she was going to rise and shine, she had big plans to clean and run errands. She hugged Faith’s pillow close and buried her face in it. She was sleeping in less than a minute.

*******************************

Faith had already been yelled at by Giles, twice, and she was certain by the way he took off his glasses and squeezed the bridge of his nose that she was due again. A quick glance at Kennedy confirmed her assessment.

“Uh…sorry. Didn’t understand the question, G-man.”

“You didn’t?”

She smiled as charmingly as she could at him:

“No, all them fancy words, ya know?”

“So the question, ‘Did he tell you what time?’ has you baffled, does it?”

“…”

“Faith! Oh for God’s sake, would you please just go back to Buffy? We’ll muddle through without you somehow.”

“Yeah? Really, G-man?”

She was already on her feet, an excited grin on her face.

“Yes, ‘really’. Consider both of you off for the rest of the day and night.”

“Thanks!”

She left in a blur of Slayer speed, nearly running through his office door in her haste.

“How come I still have to work?”

“Please, Kennedy.”

“If I go all moony and stupid over Will, do I get to…”

He placed his glasses back on his face as he met her eyes:

“Sorry, it only works if you’re ‘mooning’ over Buffy. Now can we please get through this?”

“Fine, but I’m filing a complaint.”

**********************************

Faith knew what she was going to find even before she walked in. No way in hell was Buffy not sleeping again. She could make all the noise she wanted to about how she was going to clean and run errands on her day off, but Faith knew all that was going to get done was sleeping and lazing around.

The thought of Buffy naked and tangled in the sheets while she clutched a pillow in her arms had made it increasingly impossible for Faith to pay the least bit of attention to Giles. She kept seeing the sunlight shining on Buffy as she snuggled in their bed, the warm light making her look like a golden sex goddess, and she wanted to be there with her.

She was already stripping as she locked the front door behind her, and by the time she hit the bedroom she was naked. She slid in on Buffy’s side of the bed, a smile lighting her face as she saw that her girl was cuddling with her pillow. She wrapped an arm around Buffy and murmured in her ear:

“Real thing’s here now, baby.”

Buffy’s only response was to burrow deeper into the pillow.

“B…”

There was no response at all, and Faith had to laugh. She was going to have to compete with her own pillow for Buffy’s affections.

She pushed up against Buffy’s back, and that earned her a low moan and a tiny wriggle. She began planting light kisses on her shoulder and neck while she ran her hand up and down the arm that was wrapped firmly around the pillow. Faith capped it all off by swinging a leg over her and pushing her center up tight against Buffy’s ass.

Buffy edged back slightly, and when Faith began grinding slowly, she began swaying with her,

“B…”

Faith called to her again while still planting tiny kisses along her skin, finally reaching her way up to Buffy’s ear.

“Baby…”

She whispered that directly into her ear, and a shiver shot through Buffy’s entire body.

“Hmm?”

“Was thinkin’ maybe you should let go of that pillow.”

“Mmm…I love this pillow.”

Faith could hear the teasing smile in her voice.

“Yeah, why’s that?”

“It’s soft and squishy, and it smells like Faith.”

“I can be soft and squishy. Bet I can smell like Faith too.”

Buffy pushed back into her and began moving in a way that made them both crazy.

“Maybe, but I’m not taking any chances.”

Faith growled and tore the pillow out of Buffy’s arms, well half of it anyway. The other half remained clutched tightly to her chest, even as the feathers flew into the air and cascaded down all around them.

“Let go of the fucking pillow, B.”

“No. I’m in love with this pillow.”

Faith flipped her over onto her back and hovered ominously above:

“Not gonna repeat myself.”

“Neither am I.”

Faith leaned down to deliver a toe curling, earth shaking kiss, but Buffy still hung onto the remnants of the pillow.

“Listen you little shit, got three seconds to ditch your new lover.”

“I’m sorry, Faith, but this pillow and I are getting married, so…”

Faith sat on her, pinning Buffy’s arms with her knees as she began the tickling. Buffy screamed and laughed at the same time:

“No! Stop! Faith, stop!”

“Soon as you let go of the pillow.”

“Faith, stop! Motorvate! Motorvate!”

“No safe words today, Princess. Now drop it!”

Buffy had turned red. She was squirming and laughing as she tried valiantly not to loosen her grip, but she finally couldn’t take it anymore.

“Okay, fine!”

She tossed the pillow to the side and held up her hands in surrender:

“I give! Now stop!”

Faith kept going for a few seconds, then slid down until she was lying flush against Buffy. She kissed her hard, their tongues meeting and teasing until neither of them could take any more.

Buffy opened her legs and Faith fell down between them, pushing up against her at their most sensitive spot and making them both moan.

“Mmm…Faith.”

“Told ya I was better than a pillow.”

Buffy smiled and kissed her, nipping at her lower lip as she pulled back:

“What are you doing here?”

“Felt bad knowin’ how hard you were working on all the chores.”

“Hey! I was going to…later.”

Faith laughed and began rotating her hips slowly.

“Turns out I couldn’t concentrate, so Giles made me leave.”

“Something on your mind?”

“Yeah, how you were in my bed all naked and ready to be fucked.”

“Hmm…you seem awfully sure of yourself.”

Faith smirked:

“Well hell yeah, just look at me. I’m hot shit.”

Buffy flipped them quickly so that she was on top.

“Yes you are, but I’m afraid I have housework to do.”

She leaned down and kissed Faith on the nose, then got out of bed.

“Maybe later, F.”

She turned to walk away, but Faith quickly hauled her back down:

“No more getting outta bed without permission.”

Buffy looked at her innocently:

“But what about the housework?”

“Oh B, I am so gonna fuck you up.”

”Promise?”

“Slayer promise.”

*************************

An hour later and they were both relaxing in the bathtub with Buffy reclining against the rim and Faith reclining against Buffy. They were tired and happy and they were also sore, but the hot water was doing wonders with that. Faith had already fallen asleep with her head resting on Buffy’s shoulder, and Buffy smiled and closed her own eyes as she thought back over the past year.

It had been an incredibly difficult time, but it was all behind them now, and they were stronger than anyone could have ever predicted. The separation had forced them to put everything on the table, and that’s just what they had done. Nothing was off limits and they had talked everything out until there wasn’t one stone left unturned.

It was hard and it was painful, but they’d cried and screamed and fought their way through, always reaching out, always hanging on until they found the place where they could stand together again. It was tough and it hurt, but neither of them shied away.

To Buffy’s amazement, Faith never once backed away or made excuses. She stood there in front of Buffy and answered every question no matter how much it hurt her, and she accepted every bit of blame that was hers to take. She explained whatever she was asked to and she explained whatever else she needed to for herself.

Faith never retaliated when Buffy verbally lashed out, understanding that she needed to get it out because Faith herself had put it there. She looked Buffy in the eye whenever she let it loose, and Buffy let it loose often and at totally unpredictable times.

It took two months before Buffy let her move back in, and the smile on Faith’s face when she received the invitation told Buffy she’d made the right decision. They agreed they were not quite ready for sex so they chose to wait, believing that when the time was right they would know. That decision didn’t stop them from making out whenever the mood struck them, but it did keep them from going all the way, a situation that soon had them both tense and on edge.

It all came to a head one night while they were out on the world’s most tedious patrol. They’d been walking around for two hours, not one thing had happened, and Buffy was bored out of her mind. She began lagging a couple of paces behind, and all too quickly she became incredibly turned on by the way Faith’s ass was bouncing firmly in her skin tight pants.

The “no sex” edict was seeming stupider with every step they took, and Buffy decided enough was enough. She was going to make Faith the happiest…well the second happiest Slayer in the world. She caught up with her and entwined their hands, bumping Faith’s shoulder with her own:

“So F, wanna call it a night?”

Faith looked startled:

“Still early, B. ‘Sides, what the hell would we do with…”

Buffy kissed her, hoping to shut her up before she said the stupidest thing ever said in the history of the world. When they broke apart, Buffy let her hands run along the front of Faith’s shirt, pausing to play with her breasts.

“Oh, I don’t think we’ll have any trouble coming up with something interesting to do.”

Faith actually began stammering worse than Willow on her worst day:

“B…we…I mean…I said …Uh, you know…Giles…”

Buffy nuzzled into her exposed neck, causing Faith to jump and attempt a retreat which Buffy quickly cut off by wrapping her arms around her.

She tried to catch Faith’s eye, but that turned out to be a lot harder than it should have been.

“Hello? What are you doing?”

“Tryin’ to focus on my job, so if ya don’t mind…”

“But I do mind. Tonight’s totally dead, and I want to get a little touchy feely with my girlfriend, who by the way, is acting like I have a contagious disease.”

Faith wriggled out of Buffy’s grasp, her gaze intently surveying the surrounding area:

“Let’s just stay on target ‘stead of…”

Buffy rushed her, slamming her hard up against a nearby crypt wall. She pressed their bodies together and began moving in a way she knew Faith liked.

“B, would you c’mon?”

“Mmm…I would if you’d play with me.”

Faith squirmed around until she’d managed to ease out from between Buffy and the smooth stone wall.

“Hey, wanna head over to that old cemetery by the…”

Buffy’s hands were now on her hips and she was clearly angry:

“No, what I want is to make out with my girlfriend who is steadily resisting me. What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on. Look, correct me if I’m wrong…”

“You’re wrong, way wrong. Why don’t you want me to touch you?”

“B, this is stupid. Course I want you to touch me.”

But when Buffy moved towards her, Faith moved away.

“So what, you want me to chase you first?”

“Look, why don’t we just finish patrolling? Still got a coupla hours left and…”

“Why don’t you just take me and have your way with me instead?”

But Faith didn’t.

She continued to walk around acting like sex wasn’t something she enjoyed, like it wasn’t something they’d both been waiting months to do. They just wandered around doing absolutely nothing for two more hours, and by the time they got home, Buffy was furious.

They followed their normal routine, each heading to the kitchen to grab a snack. Buffy took only one bite of her non-fat yogurt before she threw it into the trashcan. Well ostensibly that’s what she meant to do, but what actually happened was that she hurled it with full Slayer strength against the wall.

The flimsy plastic container exploded on impact, spraying yogurt everywhere. She didn’t even spare Faith a glance as she stomped off to their bedroom. Faith grabbed a bunch of paper towels and wiped up the mess, then hit the light and headed after her.

Buffy had just finished putting on her pajamas, and if Faith hadn’t known how angry she was before, she knew it now. Even though they had yet to have sex they both slept naked, loving the feel of their warm skin sliding against each other as they cuddled. Apparently that wasn’t going to be happening tonight.

Buffy was now slamming things around and Faith stood staring at her from her own side of the bed.

“B?”

“…”

“B?”

“What?”

“Can we talk?”

Buffy glared at her:

“I don’t know, is that something you’ll let us do?”

Faith walked around the bed:

“Let’s sit down.”

Buffy just stood there looking at her:

“Are we allowed to sit on the bed or is that out of bounds now too?”

“Come here.”

Faith grabbed her, pulling Buffy down onto her lap as she sat on the edge of the bed. Buffy couldn’t have been any stiffer if she’d been a board.

“B, I’m sorry, okay? I know I’m acting weird.”

Buffy didn’t relent an inch:

“I’m thinking it’s not an act.”

“Just let me try to explain, okay?”

“Go ahead.”

Buffy was still mad, but at least her body was no longer completely rigid.

“Well, I don’t know how much sense this is gonna make.”

“Since when has that ever been a requirement between us? Just tell me what’s going on here.”

“I’m scared.”

Buffy pulled back so she could see her face:

“What?”

Faith was embarrassed and uncertain:

“I’m scared to fuck you.”

“Faith, what are you talking about? We’ve had sex millions of times, why would you suddenly be scared to…”

“B, can I get up?”

Faith looked almost panicked and Buffy understood she needed space.

“Sure.”

Buffy slid off of her quickly and let her stand. The instant Faith was on her feet, she began pacing rapidly back and forth. She looked so sexy, like a tiger that’d been penned up in a too small cage and was now looking to tear somebody to shreds. Buffy could feel her desire skyrocketing to a barely controllable level, and struggled to control herself.

“Okay then…so it’s like this…”

Buffy waited, but there was no follow-up.

“Faith, words would be good right now.”

Faith still said nothing and her pacing picked up speed.

“You know, the kind of words that come out of your mouth.”

“So how long’s it been, B?”

“How long has what been?”

“Since we got back together?”

Buffy looked puzzled, but she answered:

“Three months.”

Faith nodded:

“And four days.”

Buffy laughed:

“Yes, and four days.”

“So we’re doin’ good, right? I mean, I’d say we’re doin’…”

“Yes Faith, we’re doing very good. What’s this all about?”

Faith said nothing again for a minute, then made herself stand still and face Buffy:

“I wasn’t wrong, right? You wanted to, you know…Tonight was gonna be the night?”

“Well yes, I was hoping it would…”

And just like that, it all became clear what the problem was.

“God Faith, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to start something like that. I just wasn’t thinking and I…”

Faith kneeled down in front of her:

“B, don’t apologize to me.”

“Well, I think I owe you one. I didn’t even consider that you might not want to and even if…”

“You don’t owe me any apologies, not after what I’ve done. And I do want to, course I do.”

Buffy pulled her up until they sat side by side:

“Then everything’s perfect because I want you too.”

“But I don’t wanna mess anything up. I mean, it’s been…we’ve been goin’ so good and…”

“Faith, I love you. Yes I’m still hurt, yes I’m still angry, and yes, we’ve got a lot of work to do, but I want to be with you.”

“Yeah but…”

“No more ‘buts’. I love you and I wanna show you how much. Do you want that too, or do you need to wait?”

The fear was easy to read in Faith’s eyes, but so was every other emotion she was feeling:

“I always want you, Buffy, I always will. It’s just that…”

“Then let me show you how I feel about you. Can I, Faith?”

Faith nodded and Buffy kissed her as she gently pushed her back onto the bed.

Buffy made love to her, soft and slow, and it lasted forever. At first Faith was uncomfortable and kept trying to sit up and take the lead:

“B, just let me…”

“Shhh…it’s okay. I already know you love me, just let me show you how I feel about you.”

And she had. She roamed all over Faith’s body, taking her time stroking and caressing, tenderly kissing and licking, using everything at her disposal to make Faith tremble and shake, until she finally exploded again and again.

“I love you, Faith. With everything in me, I love you and always will.”

Faith was gone, her voice hoarse and strained as she climaxed again, screaming out the only word she could:

“Buffy…….”

She fell into what was best called a languorous stupor, and Buffy smiled as she kissed her way back up to her face. She pulled Faith into her arms and covered them both with the sheet, feeling more than a little languorous herself.

“…B…”

“There’s plenty of time. Just sleep now.”

‘Kay.”

Faith snuggled in and drifted off, and Buffy followed right behind.

She awoke two hours later to the feeling of warm, soft lips exploring all around her breasts.

“Mmm…you can keep doing that forever.”

“Wouldn’t mind that. You taste so good, B.”

Her tongue rolled over Buffy’s nipples again and again until Buffy felt like she was going insane.

“F…”

Her voice already had a pleading tone to it that made Faith laugh:

“We’ll get there, just let me get reacquainted first.”

And she had. Her hands and mouth went everywhere, her tongue sliding in and out to savor the taste that was all Buffy. She gently guided her to one orgasm after another, taking all the time in the world and making Buffy feel wild and worshipped and loved.

Everything had changed after that night, something major had been decided and laid to rest between them. They still had problems that seemed to have no solutions, they still had issues they both would have preferred to leave undisturbed, but they knew they couldn’t avoid anything anymore, not if they were going to take this chance and make it count.

Faith’s past came out in halting words that had been buried so deeply for so long, it sometimes seemed they would not be able to make it to the surface. But they did because Faith dug for them, reaching down and ripping them free, flinging them up and away from her every chance she got.

Her past explained so much about their present, and Buffy began to get an even clearer picture of the woman she loved. She understood it now, every thing that Faith had done, and the “why” of it became crystal clear as they looked at it together. They joined forces and dealt with everything, then just let it fall spiraling away from them.

None of that stuff had a place where they were going. They were moving towards a light and open space that needed nothing but the cleanness of fresh air, the warmth of their love and the trust that now infused everything they did.

Buffy had asked for Faith’s promise and she had gotten it without a moment’s hesitation. Faith had sworn she would never leave her again, no matter what, and Buffy knew that she meant it. That belief allowed her to relax, and day by day her fear floated away until it left her for good.

She was roused out of her reverie by a gigantic yawn:

“Guess I nodded off.”

Buffy smiled as she lowered her hands, making Faith quiver and slosh the increasingly tepid water dangerously close to the edge of the tub.

“Well, you don’t hear me complaining, do you?”

“Why would ya? Got the world’s second hottest chick between your legs, life’s good.”

Buffy leaned down, pulling Faith’s head to the side to deliver a loving kiss.

“Life isn’t good, F. Life is great.”’

Faith’s grin was huge as she stood, yanking Buffy up with her.

“Let’s get outta here ‘fore we turn into prunes.”

She stepped out, lifting Buffy with her and sitting her down lightly on a towel that was spread out on the vanity chair. She tossed her another towel, then dried herself off before sliding into Angel’s robe.

“What’re smiling’ at?”

“You. You always look like a four year old in that giant robe.”

“Not my fault Angel was a big freak. ‘Sides, no way he’d want a kick ass thing like this goin’ to waste.”

Buffy stood, wrapping another towel around her wet hair:

“So what was the price for today’s fun? Did Giles stick us on newbie patrol for the rest of the week?”

“Not that I know of. Just said we were off, so I think that means free and clear.”

Buffy wrapped her arms around Faith, rubbing her cheek against the remarkably soft velour.

“Wanna stay in tonight or go out?”

“B, what do ya think? You’re talking to Faith Lehane, party girl since forever.”

“So is that your vote for staying home?”

“Yeah, just me and you all night again sounds like the perfect fucking end to a perfect fucking day.”

Buffy let go and headed into the bedroom:

“I’d rather stay in too. Do we have anything to eat though?”

“Gotta have somethin’. I’ll go look.”

She took off for the kitchen and Buffy slipped on her own robe and headed after her. She smiled as she passed the bookshelf, pausing to lift the snow globe and give it a firm shake.

She stood there watching the snow fall all around, her thoughts drifting off to the man who was no longer with them, but always present anyway.

“Hot fucking damn!”

Buffy laughed as Faith’s voice came booming in from the kitchen:

“Our girl’s sure excitable, isn’t she?”

She sat the globe down and made her way into the kitchen:

“So what’s the good news?”

Faith was half hidden in the refrigerator, but when she straightened up she was holding a bottle of pancake syrup.

“Plenty of stuff for a million pancakes! Sit down and keep me company. I’ll have’em goin’ in a sec.”

Buffy sat down and watched the master chef at work. She was almost dancing as she worked, her body bouncing and swaying to a tune only she could hear. She cracked the eggs with a flourish, tossed the discarded shells across the room into the trashcan, then raised her arms to signal a homerun or a touchdown or a basket. Buffy wasn’t quite certain, but she knew it was some sports thing that meant something good.

Her sleeves kept sliding down and Faith kept swearing as she shoved them back up and concentrated on not tripping over the bottom of her way too long robe. She glanced back at Buffy with her patented dimpled smirk and started talking about something, but Buffy wasn’t listening, not to one single word.

She could feel the tears stinging her eyes, and she let them fall. It was a weird concept, the way human beings cried over all kinds of things, good and bad. The woman in front of her had always made her cry, one way or another, and Buffy knew she always would. Obviously it was their destiny.

It was a good destiny, a happy destiny, a destiny that she was eternally grateful for. The woman in front of her: “Caution: Hot Stud Inside” was a miracle, and Buffy wouldn’t have traded her for anything. She began smiling somewhat wickedly as she stood and silently took off her robe.

Faith grinned as she felt Buffy’s arms encircling her from behind.

“Keep your pants on, B. Made’em a little bigger, so they gotta cook…”

Buffy reached around and turned off the burner, then slid the robe down Faith’s body, letting it pool on the floor. Faith tried to turn, but Buffy held her in place, her lips grazing along the muscle of her shoulder.

“Okay…wanna do that instead? All for it.”

Buffy’s lips slowly worked their way up to Faith’s ear as her hands worked their way down her front.

“Faith?”

“Yeah, B?”

“I love you.”

“Know that. I love you too.”

Faith could feel Buffy’s smile against her cheek.

“Well, aren’t we the lucky ones.”

“Can’t be any luckier.”

“Can’t be any hornier either.”

“Thought you were hungry?”

Buffy lifted her up into her arms:

“I am, but there’s a saying that perfectly covers this sitch.”

“What’s that?

“’Isn’t it crazy how slaying always makes ya hungry and horny?’”

Faith laughed and wrapped her arms around Buffy’s neck.

“But B, you haven’t been slaying.”

“That’s just a minor detail, F”

She laid her down on their bed and followed right along:

“Now where was I?”

“Think you were gonna fuck me.”

“Yes, I was.”

Buffy stayed on top of her, gently caressing Faith’s hair back from her face and saying nothing.

“B?”

“I couldn’t possibly love you more than I do.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I don’t know how I ever got so lucky.”

Faith laughed:

“Think you got that shit all turned around, but who am I to disagree?”

“Wow, I wish I had a recording of this moment.”

“But ya don’t, otherwise I wouldn’t have said it.”

“No wonder they call you ‘The Rogue Slayer’.”

Faith rolled them over and glared down at Buffy:

“Nobody calls me that ‘cept when Andy starts slingin’ his bullshit.”

“Ooh, touchy.”

“Well it’s fuckin’ stupid. If you were gonna call me anything it’d be, ‘The Hot as Hell Slayer’ or ‘The Wicked Cool Slayer’. What’s with this ‘rogue’ shit anyways? I haven’t danced on the dark side in fucking forever now.”

“I was just kid…”

“Oughta kick his ass, then we’ll see how much he likes my dark side.”

*************************************

The sex was over for now, and the pancakes had been made and devoured. The Slayers decided to watch some TV and made their way casually to the sofa...if pushing and shoving each other and leaping over furniture could be called “casual”.

Buffy managed to shove Faith to the floor, but then Faith hooked her leg, bringing Buffy down to her knees. She struggled to rise, but Faith shoved her hard and then leapt over the couch like it was a high hurdle. Buffy followed just moments later, but it was too late.

“Yeah, baby! Check it out!”

She held the remote control aloft triumphantly, trash talking the whole way:

“Damn, must be rough bein’ the oldest and slowest Slayer. Don’t worry, B. I’ll go half speed from now on so you can keep up.”

“Just so you know: I’m about five seconds from beating the shit out of you and taking the remote.”

Faith’s dimples grooved her cheeks as she smirked cockily:

“Wow, so you’re old and a sore loser? Lucky thing you’re so sexy with all of them strikes against ya.”

“Shut up and sit down. I know it’s hard, but try to act like you’ve won before.”

Faith dropped down onto the sofa, her feet already making themselves comfortable on the coffee table.

Buffy sat down next to her, as close as she could get without being on Faith’s lap. Faith was still grinning as she turned on the set and began her usual rapid fire clicking of the channels.

“Faith, could you slow down a little?”

“Why? No sense wasting our time on crap.”

“But I think I saw a good movie and you…”

Faith rolled her eyes as she kept spinning through the shows.

“No, what you saw was one of your stupid chick…Hey, look at this! And it’s just starting!”

“Faith, we are not watching ‘Die Hard’ again.”

“But B, look! It’s the first one, it’s a classic!”

“That we’ve already seen fifty thousand times. I want to watch the ‘chick flick’ you passed by like fifteen channels ago.”

Faith looked at her pleadingly:

“B, this is the ‘Die Hard’ with: ‘Yippee ki yay, motherfucker’! C’mon, no way we can pass that up for some woman gettin’ shit on, then finding true love and a cure for her kid’s epilepsy.”

“Well sorry, but watching Bruce Willis running around in his undershirt doing impossible stunts while he says the lamest quips I’ve ever …”

“Okay, let’s flip a coin.”

“’Flip a coin’?”

Faith leaned up and grabbed a quarter out of the catch all dish on the coffee table.

“Yep, winner take all.”

“Okay. Toss it and I’ll call it.”

Faith flipped the coin and Buffy called out ‘heads’.

“Damn. Okay, two out of three.”

“Faith, I won, fair and square.”

“Yeah, the first toss, but everybody knows it’s always two outta three.”

“Fine, toss it.”

Faith did and Buffy again called out:

“Heads.”

“Fuck! B, can’t just keep sayin’ ‘heads’.”

“Why not? I won, so just hand over…”

“Look, if you’re gonna cheat, it’s gotta be three outta five!”

“How was I cheating? There’s no rule that you can’t call…”

Faith threw the coin in the air:

“Call it!”

“Tails.”

“Jesus fucking Christ! Why ya callin’ ‘tails’ now?”

“Excuse me, you were the one screaming at me not to keep calling the same…”

“This shit’s fucked up!”

Buffy’s smile was downright wicked:

“Put the chick flick on.”

“B…’Yippee ki yay, motherfucker’. Runnin’ barefoot through glass.”

“’True love, finding the cure for epilepsy…”

“Okay, four out of seven.”

Buffy rolled her eyes as she laughed:

“Just how many chances do you think I’m going to give you?”

“Just as many as I need. C’mon, Buffy…Please?”

Buffy couldn’t stay strong when faced with the “pitiful” look, and she kissed the tip of Faith’s nose, then dipped her tongue into one of the dimples that appeared.

“Okay.”

“Yeah?!”

“Yeah. Yippee ki yay.”

Faith kissed her and turned up the volume.

“Here, baby...”

She grabbed a plush couch pillow and placed it on her lap.

“…you can lay down on me.”

Buffy never hesitated, she loved laying on Faith.

She moved around for a few seconds, then when she was comfortable and settled, Faith pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered her up.

“Case ya drift off.”

“Right, Faith. It’s only 10:00, I think I can manage to stay awake for the whole movie.”

“Hey, don’t be so touchy. Just takin’ care of my girl.”

“Shhh, this is my favorite part.”

“What? When his bitch wife’s bustin’ his balls?”

Buffy refused to answer and the movie rolled along. By the time all hell broke loose ten minutes later, she was sound asleep.

Faith looked down at her, a smile on her face. The same thing happened almost every time, and as far as Faith could tell, it was just like taking candy from a baby. The second she got Buffy down and tucked in, she always played with her hair.

That was a total relaxation thing for Buffy, and that coupled with a “boring” movie always knocked the Princess out cold. Sometimes Faith let herself drift off right with her, but that wasn’t going to be taking place tonight. Nope, tonight she was wired and wide-awake.

She started flipping between the good parts of the movie and the lesbian porn channel. Buffy hated it when she watched porn, but Buffy wasn’t conscious at the moment, so Faith decided to take advantage of her absence.

It was grown-up time now. The kids were all safe and snug, and Faith was busy trying to figure out how anybody could get into that position and stay there for so long. It couldn’t be a turn-on, at least not for the one doing the handstand, although it looked pretty hot for the one taking advantage of the sitch.

She wondered if she could get Buffy to give it a shot. Maybe if she charmed her just right or got her drunk when she was really horny. Hmm…the girl was still doing her thing and how the hell could she even come in that position?

She had to be faking it, but she sure looked legit, even when you factored in she was a pro just doing her job.

Buffy stirred and Faith quickly hit the “last channel” button. Bruce Willis was taking out some of the bad guys, and Faith tried to look relaxed, like she’d been watching the movie all along instead of some woman eating out another in the funkiest position she’d ever seen.

“Mmm…Faith.”

Buffy never opened her eyes. She just nestled in closer and began snoring.

Faith grinned. Usually Buffy sawing logs was a surefire way to get her to fall asleep too, but no way was that going to be happening tonight. She popped the porn channel back on and watched two new girls going at it in a position Faith considered herself an expert at.

“Dumb bitch shouldn’t pull her legs so far apart.”

It was pathetic that she was watching a supposed pro get it all wrong. It was like nobody took pride in their work anymore, and Faith shook her head in disgust. Cripes, if she went at it like that, Buffy would probably slug her.

The snoring was louder, but Faith was still not the least bit sleepy. She looked down at the woman on her lap and wondered again how she’d gotten so lucky. How Buffy could love her like she did would always remain a mystery to Faith. She just couldn’t figure it out, but that didn’t really matter.

Because Buffy did love her, and Faith had never been more sure of anything in her life. She’d given up trying to understand how and why it had gone down like it had. When you got a miracle you didn’t keep questioning it, you just went along for the ride.

She slowly eased her hand under the blanket and rubbed along Buffy arm. She was so silky and soft, and Faith didn’t get how that was possible either. She laughed quietly under her breath, obviously she was still a dumb ass who was completely clueless about most things.

But what she did know was this: she was never leaving Buffy again. She was staying right by her side until one of them drew their last breath, and she was gonna make sure that didn’t happen for about a thousand years. She knew Buffy felt exactly the same way.

Who would have ever guessed it? Not Faith, she had always been positive it was a one-way street. It took a vampire to get her to see it for what it was:

“Hey, Faith?”

“Yeah, Soulboy?”

“You know how much I’ve liked having you here.”

“What’s with the ‘liked’? Not going anywhere.”

He smiled and sat next to her on the couch.

“Yeah, it’s time.”

“Time for what?”

“You can’t keep hiding here.”

“’Hiding’? What the hell are you…”

He reached for her hand and she let him hold it.

“I did the same thing, Faith, but I did it because I had to. You don’t.”

“No clue what you’re talking about. Did you hit your head or somethin’?”

“You need to go back and see what you can have. Maybe it’s too late, maybe you can’t even be friends, but you have to be there to find that out.”

She stood up then, trying to look calm yet only managing frightened.

“Angel, if you’re talking about B, that ship sailed a long time ago. I’m not getting sucked back into a fantasy again.”

He got up too and placed his hands on her shoulders, making her face him:

“So don’t. Be a realist this time. Look things right in the eye and deal with whatever comes up. Give her a chance, give yourself a chance and let things play out like they’re meant to.”

“Think that already happened when she shoved a knife in my crazy ass.”

She walked away and hopped up to sit on the bar that divided the living room from the kitchen. He followed her, determined to make her hear him.

“That wasn’t you, it wasn’t her either. Those were roles you forced each other to play, don’t do that this time around.”

“Yeah okay, let me go make a play for your girl, buddy.”

He laughed and his hand reached for hers again:

“She’s not mine, Faith. I don’t think she really has been since you showed up.”

“Yeah right, B’s just wild for me.”

“Maybe she is, maybe she isn’t, but you won’t ever know if you stay here.”

She jumped down and began pacing:

“C’mon Soulboy, we got us a good thing here.”

“Yes we do, it’s almost the best. But you’ve got a life to live.”

“So do you.”

“And I’m planning to live it. I’m better now, Faith, thanks to you. I know I can never repay you for…”

She snorted with laughter:

“Shut up, that’s my line.”

He laughed again:

“Boy, we are definitely two sides of the same coin.”

“What’s that mean exactly?”

“That we’re just alike.”

“Yeah, I’ve fucking noticed that.”

They were quiet for several minutes while Faith thought it over:

“Gotta give it a shot, don’t I?”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Okay, so what if it goes bad?”

“Then you just come back here, but at least you’ll know for sure.”

She looked him in the eye:

“I get nailed, I’m so gonna kick your ass when I come back.”

“I know you’ll try.”

“Oh please, I can so take you.”

“No you can’t, but if it makes you feel better…”

The moans from the television pulled her back to the present.

He’d been right of course, Buffy had been hers all along. A vampire with a soul had been the only one who’d seen it, a vampire who’d loved both Slayers with everything he had. She really did owe the guy, more than she could ever repay.

“Thanks again, Soulboy…But I could so totally kick your ass, and you fuckin’ know it.”

She leaned her head back to watch two more women going at it, not the slightest bit tired as she sat playing with Buffy’s hair.

She was really snoring now, Faith couldn’t even hear the hot girls going at it. All she could hear was the annoying, grating noise rumbling out of Buffy so loudly it was ridiculous. She cranked the TV, Buffy wouldn’t hear a freight train roaring through the room now.

Faith grinned because she was breaking one of their rules right under “Little Miss Uptight’s” nose. She’d have been so pissed if she knew, but fuck, watching was what porn channels were for. How was she hurting anyone?

Still, it was for sure not a debate she wanted to have with a pissed off Buffy, so she’d definitely switch back to the movie when she got sleepy. No point in starting trouble, plus it was way more fun to get away with something. What Buffy didn’t know couldn’t hurt Faith, not in the slightest.

Damn, Buffy was really letting it fly, and how fucked up was it that Faith found it nothing but sexy and cute? She lost complete track of the hot chicks 69ing each other and found her attention focused on the tiny woman on her lap.

She really was beautiful, like something out of a dream. And man, she was so damn sexy and so damn cool, well Faith couldn’t have loved her more. Oh great, now Buffy was starting to drool and……

**********************************

Buffy awoke as the sunlight began peeking in through the open living room window. She heard moaning and groaning, clearly someone was having sex just a few feet away from her. She knew it couldn’t be Faith, she felt her underneath her head right where she’d left her.

As consciousness fully returned to her and her head cleared, she opened her eyes to the sight of three women going at it on her TV screen. She tilted her head trying to figure out how it was possible to contort one’s body into that position and not only hold it, but somehow be able to manipulate your tongue…

“Faith!”

Faith barely budged:

“…Huh?”

“Why are there women having sex on the television?”

“’Cause the radio’s too small.”

Then she was sleeping again and Buffy had to laugh.

She stood and stretched, then turned off the TV. She scooped Faith up and headed to their bed, stripping off their robes and getting them both under the covers. Faith mumbled something about fucking her upside down, then fell quiet again.

Buffy snuggled up against her and listened to her heartbeat. God, Faith was so warm…and she felt just like home. Buffy was asleep in seconds.

THE END